Faithless (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (62 page)

“When it was over
, we talked about Regina and Wil. Grant has always been confused because he has to lie to Regina. He finally admitted to himself that he loves her. I held Grant while he cried. But what I really took away from the experience is that I can have sex and enjoy it. I don’t have to let it tear me apart. It’s just sex,” I say in disbelief, “it’s not like I killed someone.”

“Dude, who the hell did you screw that many times?” Gunner whispers in disbelief.

“Cortez Abernathy,” I say with an eye roll. “He’s obsessed with sex. It took me too long to figure out I should just fake it to get him to stop trying so hard. Now he’s sexing up the city like a rockstar on Viagra.”

“Ick,” Gunner grunts while pulling a face of disgust. “If you ask me, any guy who fucks like that is trying to prove something.”

“You’re right. He is. Cort is trying to prove he isn’t in love with Ezra. It’s like he can’t handle being gay. As a girl who was subjected to Cort, HE IS GAY! Ezra is more proficient with girly parts than Cortez is,” I admit with a long-suffering groan. My cunny painfully cowers at the thought of Cort’s huge cock coming after her and blindly thrusting.

“You didn’t have sex with Grant?” Stanton asks again, still not with the program.

“I didn’t,” I practically whine. “He said I was too young and he will never cheat on Regina. If it makes you feel better to know that we are bad, Grant admitted that he will be screwing my brains out the minute I turn eighteen if he and Regina split up by then. Grant basically said that short of marriage, he’s finding me the second he’s not with Regina and mounting my ass… better,” I snidely hiss.

“I believe you now,” Stanton sighs in relief.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” I growl. “Since we’ve embarrassed the fuck out of me, it’s your turns. Why is Gunner still a virgin at his age and…” I turn my head to the side and salaciously check the boy out. “With how hot he is… or let’s discuss the fact that you’ve only ever been with my mother and you’re frequenting a whore for a handjob on a monthly basis with enough barriers to satisfy the C.D.C. during an Ebola outbreak.”

“What the hell Stanton?” Gunner turns on his brother, going into his own version of lecture mode. “A whore? A real bonafide whore? Like the kind you hand cash for sex. You seriously
only get a handjob? How much does it cost? What the fuck is wrong with you? She gives anyone a handjob for a few bucks. Just go get laid the real way, the free way for Christ’s sake!”

“You both have panty-dropping smiles if you’d shut up long enough to deploy them. Seriously, go get off. I feel so much better now,” I taunt
while stretching the kinks out of my body. I receive two very angry growls in answer. “Sucks having your shit spread, eh?”

“You haven’t had sex since Bianca was made? Don’t you like pussy? Are you gay? I’
m fine if you’re into dudes? I won’t bust your ass for it,” Gunner goes off on a tangent, and the sadist in me loves watching Stanton sink lower in his chair, doing what Bianca and I do to shut out the lectures.

“My work here is done,” I proudly announce as I head towards the stairs. “No regrets,” I sing
as Gunner humiliates Stanton with a barrage of questions and not-so silent judgments.

~Chapter Fifty-One~

“Wakey! Wakey! It’s day breaky,” Stanton sings while assaulting me with kisses and hugs. This past month has changed Stanton. He’s so happy to have us as a family that he’s less controlling and extremely affectionate. He has to get up twenty minutes early every morning to subject the three of us to his cuddles. I heard him assaulting Caleb five minutes ago.

“Kill me,” I groan. “I’m so fucking tired,” I snarl.
“I think my ass has a Charlie horse.”

“You can take a nap next week when Caleb goes to boot camp,” Stanton says with great amusement as he tugs me from the covers.

“He’s worse than a Drill Sergeant!” I yelp in outrage, fingers stilling Stanton as he bounces my mattress.

“Because he will be one eventually,” Stanton says in a voice filled with pride.
“You better get up before Caleb gets out of the shower. You remember yesterday,” he warns.

“How could I ever forget,” I groan, rolling until my feet touch the floor.
I went back to sleep yesterday and woke to rain from an ice cube tray. I was pelted with a dozen cubes of an Antarctic hell. As punishment- no, the ice cubes didn’t count- I had to do five hundred crunches, and if I paused, I had to start again from the beginning. I did one thousand and fourteen before I satisfied Gunner.

“See you at supper,” Stan says, trying to pull me to my feet. He places my hand on the edge of my dresser and makes sure I don’t fall back to bed. “Big day today!” he sings. “Okay, love you.”

“Love you, too,” I sleepily murmur against Stanton’s cheek as he kisses me goodbye.

I gaze at my warm, cozy bed. The messed up sheets and blankies look inviting as they use their siren call to lure me back to sleep.

In one week, I will miss Gunner, but at the same time, I’ll be relieved to see him go. I am exhausted. Gunner is exhausting. He schedules my day worse than Stanton ever could. I pity the Green Brothers’ future wives.

Five a.m.: run.
Six a.m.: gym.
Seven a.m.: take Bianca to day care.
Eight a.m.: work at The Black Death.
Lunch: whatever is Caleb’s whim of the day- be it the gun range, goofing around with Parkour on a building that is impossible to conquer, or beating the living daylights out of me.
Five p.m.: Pick Bianca up at day care and start dinner.
Six p.m.: eat as a family.
Seven p.m.: quiet hour. Study, read, or look bored while Stan works at home.
Eight p.m.: spend quality time as a family.
Ten p.m.: lectures, idle chitchat, and listening to Gunner describe how to kill a man in a billion and one ways. Within minutes, I’m usually fast asleep in my chair on the roof, yet I always wake at the crack of dawn in my comfy, lonely bed.

Stanton made me quit Morretti’s and I almost bawled in relief. Today is my day off from The Black Death because I s
tart EMT classes tonight. I never thought I’d look forward to school as a means to get away from being physically and mentally tortured. I also have a sister day planned- meaning no Caleb allowed.

“You’re not dressed
yet,” Gunner complains as he nakedly stalks into my bedroom from our shared jack-and-jill bathroom. He tosses his change of clothing on my bed. Gunner doesn’t believe in privacy or modesty after living with hundreds of dudes and ever-watchful eyes for years. I’ve seen his naked ass more than my own. And even though it’s the best ass I’ve seen, hard and firm and perfectly round, it doesn’t do a thing for me. I always check Gunner out as he checks me out, but it’s clinical. It’s proof of hard work.

“Lift up your tank top,” Gunner orders, and I obey
with a long-suffering sigh and an eye roll. It’s either obey or get the shit beat out of me. I pull my tank top up and glance down at my belly. I will admit that Gunner’s torturous schedule reaps amazing results.

“Yesterday did you good,” Gunner hisses in appreciation. “
Look at those lines,” he croons while drawing a fingertip along the grooves in my belly. “Firm all the way up,” his tone drops when his fingertip draws my top up enough to expose the curve of my breasts.

Gunner may not see me like that, but he is a guy. A body part of Gunner’s brushes my hip as his eyes glue to the ri
ngs looping though my nipples. I let him look his fill- I let his dick throb against my side because at some point today, I’ll be kneeing him in the nuts. I’m just happy Gunner still functions properly… and that body part should function for my future in-law because it’s as perfect as his ass.

Gunner’s a weird one. He makes no move to initiate anything sexual and acts like he has no thoughts of sex.
I know he holds me in his affections like a sister, and it’s a comfort, even as his eyes feast on my tits and his dick beats a drum solo on my side. Gunner’s body sexually reacts, but his mind is all about fitness and discipline.

“You’re breasts are firmer,” he says in awe. “See this muscle that wraps around from your back.” His fingers follow the path of the muscle that connects to my breast. “It’
s tighter so your breasts don’t sag anymore.”

“Hey!” I yelp. “They never sagged!”

“They’re big, they’re gonna sag,” Gunner says without any emotion.

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to tell you when your nuts start to sag,” I snarl as
my knee rises and hits him hard. After weeks of dealing with my mood swings, the boy has my number. I end up kneeing his hipbone instead of his nads. Gunner has lightning quick reflexes.

“I didn’t say they weren’t perfect,” Gunner says in a bitchy tone- pissed at me. Now I’m in for it. He’s going to ride my ass hard on our run.
“As much as I despise this happening when I don’t want it to,” he gestures to his hard-on. “It always happens. I wish I was strong enough to turn it off.”

“If that’s your version of a compliment,” I chuckle, “you’re never gonna get laid.”

“I’ll probably die a virgin,” he mutters underneath his breath, thinking I can’t hear him.

I yank off my tank top and pajama pants and tug on my sports bra, shorts, and a fresh tank top.
This is our morning routine. I don’t even think twice about changing in front of him anymore. There isn’t a spot on me that he hasn’t tortured for the sake of fitness. Gunner’s worked me so hard that I actually have a tan from jogging outside. I smear sunscreen on my tattoos as Gunner gets dressed.

“Don’t you want to?” I turn my back to him because this is as close to hearts and flowers as we’ve ever been. Our talks are usually snarky or related to adrenaline junkie activities.

“My body does- obviously,” he growls. I listen to the whisper of fabric as he gets dressed. “Fear, I will admit that I fear sex because it ruined my brother. I was a kid when Stanton went crazy. He was raising me, but it’s all we ever knew, so it was easy. Your mom acted like she wanted to help raise me, too. Everything was great, and then Stan didn’t talk for months. One day I came home from school to a screaming infant that invaded our lives, and that was life after that. I was angry and acting out so Stanton sent me away. It took years before I realized he was saving me, not throwing me away. I know it wasn’t really about sex, but I still fear it.”

“I still struggle with thinking I’m a whore,” I admit. “And my daddy threw me away to protect me, too. So I get it.”

“What do I do? I’m going to boot camp and from there I’m training as an officer. Because of my schooling and training, I will be offered a tour immediately and I can’t wait to take it,” Gunner says with so much conviction that I get choked up. “I didn’t mean I’d die of old age as a virgin. I meant that anything could happen after I’m deployed.”

“Jesus Christ, Caleb, how do you handle the stress?” I reach over and grab his hand. His palm flip
s over and his fingers lace through mine. Light blue eyes connect with mine as he squeezes my hand.

“I want it more than I fear it,” he growls. “I want it so badly that I can taste it, and nothing else matters. I could die on the street in front of our building. I could have a heart problem and not know it. But I could make a difference in the Marines. A mission I head could change the course of our history. What does fear mean in the face of that?”

“You want to be a hero,” I reverently breathe.

“And you don’t
, Miss heal the wounded
?” Gunner doesn’t tease.

“I’m a killer,” I admit. I grab my sneakers and start lacing them as a distraction.

“Do you think I’m a hero?” he whispers to me.

“Yeah,” I readily admit. “You’re a hero, Caleb.” 

“I’m a trained killer. Not only that, I will lead hundreds of soldiers to kill. Every man under me, their kill is my kill. Am I still a hero, Syn? Even if I save people by using death as the answer, does that make me a hero?”

“Yeah,” I murmur.

“You’re going to heal more lives than the ones you will take. You and I are the same, Syn. If I’m a hero, then you’re a hero, Faith.”

~Chapter Fifty-Two~

“I want desert first,” Bianca whines as she reads over the menu, completely skipping the entrees.

Stanton is being a sweetheart, letting me slip my leash because Kristal is with us. I introduced my sisters to each other. Bianca smiled, Fate cried, and I watched while trying to suppress my
tumultuous emotions. After a dozen questions on whether or not Fate looks like our mother, Bianca called Fate sister, and that was that. Our sister day has been filled with a morning of shopping, and now we’re sitting at an outdoor bistro for a light lunch.

“Nope,” I say, popping the word. “If you eat a healthy lunch I will let you have desert. Uncle Caleb would kill me… and princess, I’m already aching something fierce.”
I groan in pain. Our heart-to-heart didn’t lessen my training. Gunner made me work out twice as hard because I’d miss our lunch date- I mean our noon torture session.

The waitress takes our orders. The girls get a cob salad, Bianca orders a chicken wrap, and I order a huge greasy cheeseburger.

“Um… what exactly does this Caleb do to you?” Kristal salaciously purrs, wiggling her eyebrows. I can’t help but smile- her hair is cut similar to mine and tattoos are peeking out at me from the edge of her sundress. “And a better question is how old is Uncle Caleb and what will he do to me?”

“Caleb is seventeen,” I say with a grin. He’ll be eighteen in a few days, but the man-eater doesn’t need to know that. Plus, he made fun of me for explaining when my next birthday was- fair is fair.

“Phooey,” Kris pouts. “Too young for my blood.”

“You mean illegal, Kris?” My sister teases. “The second he turned eighteen, she’
d probably chase his ass down and mount him.”

“Depends on if he’s cute or not,” Kris croons. She taps a red-lacquered talon against her lower pouty lip
as if she’s envisioning Caleb Green.

“If he looks
anything like Stanton, he’s hot enough to melt paint,” my sister says and it shocks me. I’ve seen her have sex and I could tell she didn’t enjoy it- much. She’s talked about guys but never said whether or not she wanted them personally.

“Uh-hmm…” I clear my throat. “Eight-year-old daughter of said hottie
is sitting here absorbing your every word.”

“Uncle Caleb is very handsome,” Bianca seriously says. “He’s not as pretty as my boyfriend. But
he could rip a man in half without breaking a sweat.” 

Kris and Fate wear similar shocked expression on their faces. After five months of living with me, my baby sister is picking up my serious traits- Uncle Caleb has strengthened those serious traits. The eight-year-old is a beauty with edges so sharp her tongue could
cut. But she needs viciousness to survive the game, and that determination has immensely helped her dancing.

I sip my drink, hiding my laughter as the grown women stare at the tiny tyrant.

“Uncle Caleb is stronger than Daddy, and he’s always saying how tight Faith is,” Bianca says and I snort cola out my nose. 

“And just how tight is Faith?”
Kris asks, hazel eyes throwing sparks as my big sister giggles into her napkin.

“Very tight,” Bianca
praises. Her hands tug at my blouse. “Her belly has ridges like Uncle Caleb’s. See,” Bianca says as she shows off my six-pack abs.

“And Uncle Caleb,” my sister, of all people, purrs, “does his belly look as tight as Faith’s?”

“Better,” Bianca says with wide-eyes, “except Uncle Caleb’s like that all over.”

My groan of pain coll
ides with the hungry sounds the other women make. Bianca has no idea that her innocent honesty is making Kris salivate.

“You’re holding out on Auntie Kristal,” purrs from Kris’ parted lips, but it’s directed at me, not Bianca.

“Uncle Caleb leaves for boot camp in a few days. He’s gonna be a Marine,” Bianca says filled with enthusiastic pride and I swear Kris swoons to the tabletop.

“Boot camp means Uncle Caleb ain’t seventeen, sweetie,” Kris growls at me. “You’re hiding the men- the hot men. Marine’s means he melts more paint than Stanton.”

“I share,” I wink at the women. “Caleb is too intense and he doesn’t care about what you want him for, Kristal,” I stress. “But if you’re looking into a fitness sadist, he’s the man for the job. He even bothers the dance instructors to teach the kids how to eat healthier for their activities. Bianca isn’t allowed many sweets, but he’s shoving protein and carbs down my throat by the fistful.”

“Pity,” Kris grumbles, “And you do share rather nicely.” Fate has the decency to blush, but Kris doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

“How are my boys? I hear you’re finally teaching Cortez some much needed new tricks,” I flinch from the memory of his ineptitude.

“See,” Kris purrs and it has an edge of mea
nness. “Fate didn’t care that Cort wasn’t legal yet, so why should I care if Caleb isn’t?”

“Cort doesn’t believe the rules apply to him,” I grumble, wanting to
wring his charming neck.

I groan in happiness when our food arrives. I sink my teeth in and smile around my burger. I’
m so happy to finally see something that will fill Kristal’s inappropriate mouth and shut her ass up. I’m not a big talker. Fate is, but around me she can quietly sit. Bianca is chatty, but usually she is ever watchful. Kristal’s horniness is rubbing me raw.

“Cort’s getting better. He’s a slow learner for some reason. I think all that blood pooling away from his brain makes him inept,” Kristal taunts.

Fuck, it’s a salad!

“Can we please talk about something else?” I beg.

“Are you seeing anyone? Caleb? You calling dibs on him?” Kris barrages me with questions.

“Yeah, dibs,” I grunt out to protect Gunner’s innocence from Kristal’s man-eating ways. He’s already scared of sex; he’d be frightened for life after two seconds alone with the sexual fiend. “Mine,” I grunt. “Forever.”

“You’re such a man,” Kris says with an eye roll.

“Fucking right, and don’t forget it,” I warn. “If Fate had touched Ez, I’d have cut a bitch,” meaning Cort was just a friend and it was his choice to cheat- Ez is more than that. I accept that Fate was just running the play, not knowing how to circumvent it. But Cort- he didn’t know we were playing a game, and he screwed my sister in front of Ez and me- disrespect, and I don’t tolerate disrespect.

“Why Ez? Eww…” Kris makes a prissy sound from the back of her throat. “Ade is trying
for him, too.”

“Kristal,” Fate jumps to my rescue, her tone lashes out at her best friend. Kris sinks back in her chair, deflated
. “I would think that Faith and Ade have the ultimate dibs on Ezra. If you touch him, I will cut you,” Fate draws out her elder status and puts her enforcer into place. Kris would be punished for ruining any plays that are active. Kristal needs to learn that the game owns her now- she’s no longer free to do whatever gets her off.

The conversation steers away from making Kristal’s snatch quiver in delight to goals and aspirations. Regina is forcing Kristal and Fate to take double course loads even during the summer session. Regina’s belief is that college is work- you’re an adult, why are you taking summer vacation like a grade-schooler. Fate sounds grown up and
far more mature than I’ve ever heard her. When she talks about Regina, she is confident and it makes me pleased.

We order desert. The ladies split a l
emon bar. Bianca orders a frosted sugar cookie because Gunner told her dancers don’t eat cookies. It made me smile when she proudly and defiantly ordered the cookie. I order a slice of chocolate cake with a side of ice cream. Kris eyeballed me as I ordered. I have to eat five-thousand calories a day or I lose weight because of Gunner’s exercise regimen. I won’t lie, it’s awesome eating whatever I want- when Gunner’s not looking.

“Kris, can you take Bianca to the restroom,” I pleasantly ask like it’s not a direct order. I get snarled at in reply.

“I don’t have to potty,” Bianca whispers in my ear.

“The restroom is just to wash your face. You don’t want Uncle Caleb seeing the sprinkles on your cheekies, do you?” I rub a bit of frosting off her pink chipmunk cheek.

Big brown eyes widen in fear. “No, I need to wash up,” she agrees, emphatically nodding her head. 

I smile at Bianca because she’
s so precious. “Thanks, Kris,” I say before she can argue with me.

As soon as they leave
the table I turn on my sister with the real reason I wanted a sister day. “I have a proposition for you. But first I need to know if I can trust you.”

“You can,” Fate says without the wi
de-eyed innocence she used to deploy on me. “After… I asked Gwen about Mom. She gave me details. After what you did for Mom, I’ll do anything you ask- anything,” she pleads. “I… I need to feel like I can do something. I feel so worthless all the time.”

“Don’t ever call yourself that again,” I
angrily demand. Tears prick my eyes and threaten to fall. It doesn’t matter what personal issues I have with Fate, no woman should ever feel that way. I know I’ve thought that about Fate in the past, but I’ve never voiced it to her. I feel so guilty that my burger and cake threatens to come back up.

“Regina gets mad at me, too, when I say that. I… I just can’t help but feel that way,” Fate stumbles over her words. “It’s not like I can explain it to my best friend. Oh, God, I want to so badly, but I love her too much to sentence her to death.”

“You need someone to talk to that knows the game, right? You talk to Kris, but I can tell she doesn’t quite get it. You need someone more like Regina, right?” I know my sister needs a keeper- a firm hand calms her.

“I do
,” Fate readily admits. “I don’t like talking to Gwen; it feels like consorting with the enemy.” Her words warm my heart.

Kristal and Bianca start walking towards us but I hold up a hand to halt them. Kris looks wicked pissed that she isn’t allowed to hear the conversation. It’
s more for Bianca’s benefit, because this is adult talk.