Faithless (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (25 page)

I panic.

“Faith,” Wil whispe
rs in the dark. “Shh… calm down. It’s okay,” he tries to soothe me, but I’m too skittish to care.

I want to cry,
it’s not okay. How can you say it’s okay?
But my panic and shaking have rendered me speechless.

Wil’s fingers deftly open the glove compartment and take a pill bottle from its depths. Two pills rattle around. He
firmly presses it into my hand and squeezes.

“A
precaution- for my deposit,” Wil tries to tease me but it just makes tears sting my eyes- memories of when he teased me of being grossed out by a guy coming inside me. “Faith,” he sadly says. “I knew this would happen. I didn’t want to get you into trouble.”

“So… you…
you got Plan-B because you knew you’d have to fuck me to get me to leave you alone,” I obstinately say, ignoring my sniffles. “How very noble of you, Wil,” I snidely spit.

“That’s not i
t… and you know it,” Wil growls. His ire rises with my disrespect.

While my heart breaks, my eyes search for a way out. A light casts into the car,
illuminating the button I seek. I reach for it but Wil’s words stop me.

“I’ll walk you inside. C’mon,” he coaxes just as I hear that tale-tell sound I was waiting for, the snick that means I’m free.

Within a heartbeat I’m out of the car, dashing up the three steps to my porch and typing in the six digit code to the locking mechanism. Another snick signals that I’m free of Wil but imprisoned in my own type of Hell.

“Faith,” Wil exasperatedly sighs as he buttons up his jeans so he can run after me.

“Don’t worry, Wil. You don’t need to stay here for the next twelve hours so you can make sure I swallow the pills. Aunt Amelia’s taken them a few times. I know what to expect. If they make me sick, I’ll hold my own hair back.”

“Faith, that’s not what this is about,” Wil growls, frustrated that his belt isn’t cooperating. It took seconds to unhook in the heat of the moment, but his fingers turned to thumbs when it’s time to redress.

“Trust me, just this once, Wil,” I plead. “I told you I’ll prove to you that my word is good, and I meant it. I’ll take the pills. There will be no annoying baby Faiths running around. I’ll raise you another vow. I won’t seduce you or pant all over you. I won’t make you uncomfortable. I’ll even shut my mouth so you don’t have to hear my ear-bleeding voice. I’d stop breathing to make you happy, but as you’ve already said, that would render me dead,” I say it as a joke, but it’s not. I want Wil happy, and obviously being in my presence tortures him- so be it.

“Faith, no,”
Wil cries in alarm, forgetting about the belt and charging up the porch after me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Wil,” I say as I slip between the door and its frame. “I’ll give the pill bottle back as proof that I took them.”

I shut the door in Wil’s face and ignore the pounding and promises of disfigurement if I don’t let him in. He had an entire car ride to talk, I ain’t listening now.

“You have cum all the way to your ankles, Daughter. How very dignified,” Lara snidely says from the staircase. “I guess you’re taking after your whore of a mother after all.”

~Chapter Eighteen~

Out of everything, it was Lara’s words that played on repeat as I scrubbed myself three times. I even found a douche in Lara’s bathroom. I cleaned myself until I didn’t smell anymore. I stuck my fingers up there and pulled them out
, and did a sniff test. If I smelled anything, I washed again. For good measure, I went to bed in full pajamas- undies, too.

It was when I swallowed the Plan-B pill that I felt like a hypocrite- when Lara’s words stung the most. Here I am judging my momma for acting out
, and I’m a bad girl. My daddy wouldn’t be proud.

I can lie to myself and say I did it to stick it to Gwen, but that is horseshit. That stupid, naïve, ridiculously horny, igno
rant, moron, boy-crazy, teenaged girl that lives inside of me is in love with Wil.

What a fucking dumbass
, she is.

If I’d just done what Gwen told me to do, I wouldn’t be in this predicament. I
would’ve lost it to my friends- not some painful hookup in the front seat of a car to a guy that only sees my whore of a mother when he looks at me. No wonder Wil is disgusted.

I even disgust myself.

I may have even cried a little bit, but I’ll deny it to my very last breath. Which will be sooner rather than later if Boyd finds out I seduced his best friend.

Lara’s right.

My God, did I just think that?

She is right.
I’m taking after my whore of a mother, after all.

“Are you okay?” Cort sheepishly asks me, breaking me out of my self-loathing contemplation.

“Um… what are you doing here? How did you get in here? Where is Ez? How is Ez?” The questions spew from my mouth, proving that I’m not a selfish bitch. I care about them, even if I am a faithless whore.

Cort uncomfortably chuckles as he walks into my bedroom. I’m cocooned in five blankets, my pajamas, and a bathrobe. It’s not because I’m cold. I just needed to know that my skin was covered.

“Want me to answer those is order?” Cort teases as he sits at the foot of my bed. Cort gently touches my foot and it makes me start to cry.

“I’m such a stupid girl,”
I whimper, tears sliding down my cheeks at a rapid rate.

“Did he do this to you?” Boyd’s deep voice momentarily stuns me. He prowls across my bedroom
, and I finally see it- the contained energy that is Boyd. That geeky look is camouflage. Boyd could break me in half with his pinky finger.

I don’t answer because I know he knows who did what to whom.

“Boyd is the answer to your first two questions, the why and how. Sleeping and ShadowHaven is the answers to the last two questions.” Cort slowly speaks while watching Boyd’s every movement. I was blind, but not Cort- he’s always been terrified of Boyd.

Blue eyes with hawk-like precision latch onto the
pill bottle that is on my nightstand. Boyd closes his eyes in despair and deeply sighs. “Are you alright? Do you hurt anywhere? Did he hurt you? Was it forced? Do you want me to punish him or let him live?”

“Now I see the resemblance,” Cort
wryly says to stop Boyd from barraging me with more questions. Of course Boyd ignores Cortez.

“He came to me,” Boyd coughs into his hand. “Extremely upset. I’ve never seen him like that. He told me to go get Cortez because you needed a friend.
How can you be so stupid?” Boyd says as if he is in pain.

“I’m a stupid girl,” I whimper. “I’m a dumbass. I’m ignorant. My damn body bought into a fair
ytale lie. I fucked up. I did something that I will regret for the rest of my life. My hormones got the better of me because I’m a faithless skank with the willpower of a sixteen-year-old bitch. Oh, that’s because I am a sixteen-year-old girl. Does that make you feel better, big brother,” I hiss. “Will it make you feel better if you punish me? Because whatever you’re thinking about me right now, isn’t nearly half as bad as what is scrolling on repeat in my own dang mind. So step off.”

I act like a turtle and tuck my head beneath the blankies, willing the world to go away.

“I’m sorry, Faith. My apologies. We all mess up. Not this bad, mind you. But it’s unavoidable. I warned you. I’m not telling you I told you so. But you didn’t listen.”

“That
suspiciously sounds a lot like I told you so,” I interject to stop the oncoming lecture. If I’d said that to Wil, my mouth would be bleeding. But Boyd isn’t Wil, and I can get away with it. “Just leave him alone. It’s all my fault. I’m too much like our mother,” I sneer as explanation. “Isn’t that what everyone sees when they look at me- Gwen. I’m just a younger, eviler version of our mother.”

“Faith,” Boyd sounds exasperated. “How come you listen to him and not me?”

“You’re my brother, I don’t have to listen to you,” I say with a small shrug of my shoulders. “You’re not supposed to murder me, it’s against the rules.”

“If you talk to him like that, I’m surprised you still breathe.” Boyd rolls his eyes, but he has a smirk on his lips.

“Your girlfriend talks to him like I talk to you. It’s par for the course. Ask him if you don’t believe me.”

“I will do just that,” Boyd mutters, lost in thought. “Alright, you’re not bruised or broken. I brought you…” he winds
his finger in the air. “Him,” Boyd growls at Cort. “I’m not sure what good he can do, but have at it. I’ll be by tomorrow morning to evict the boyfriend.”

Boyd leans over my bed and gets into my face. He stares me down until I willingly meet his gaze. It takes a long time, minutes or more, but something snaps inside me as I stare into my brother’s blue eyes. Some part of me that had tightened loosens until I can take a deep breath without suffocating. Boyd will be ther
e for me, but I have to ask for him.

When our breathing is regulated the same and I swear we are thinking the same thoughts, Boyd leans back with a satisfied smile on his face. “You’ll be just fine,” he softly murmurs, tucking
a stray hair behind my ear. “Good night.”

“Night,” mumbles out my blankets, where I retreated from embarrassment.

“What was that about?” Cort grumbles.

“I have no clue,” I reluctantly admit. “
I know he’s my brother. I don’t need a DNA test to prove it. But up until a few moments ago, I don’t think I really believed it, and now I do.”

“
Boyd scares me,” Cort mutters as he shuts my bedroom door and locks it. “I feel like he’s sizing me up for something, and it makes my skin crawl. It’s like I should just know why he’s looking at me that way, but I don’t.”

I feel like a rat-bastard as I keep my mouth shut. Boyd is sizing Cort up, sizing him up as Wil’s future partner. Wil and Boyd- they aren’t just best friends, they are closer than brothers. Boyd wants to make sure Cort is worthy- worthy of having his best friend’s back and worthy of his sister’s bed.

“Turn the lights off, please,” I beg. “I don’t want to see the look of disgust on your face as I tell you how filthy I am.”

Cort’s snicker has my eyes peering ou
t my blankets. “Earlier tonight… I watched Ezra fuck you… in your ass,” he stresses. “Then while you were getting Marc, Ez made sure I licked the taste of you from his mouth. You found him sucking me off against my will, and kicked his ass for it. You just saw the love of my life in a psychotic break. We’re waaayyyy past filthy, chick- nothing is that intimate.”

I burst out crying.
I can’t stop the torrent. It makes me feel worse that I’m not crying because of Cort. I’m crying because Wil did the right thing. He knew I needed to tell Cort the truth, and that Cort was the one that would accept it, and make me laugh in spite of it. That dumbass girl inside of me smiles brightly, while the woman inside me tells her to grow up and move on.

“Shh… whatever it is, you’ll be fine,” Cort promises, but I know he’s wrong.

I pop my head out of my blankets and say, “I’m a dirty girl.” I whimper as I retreat back into my cocoon. “Bad girl.”

Cort’s laughter is infectious. I start giggling for no reason, which makes me bawl even harder.

“I can pretend to know what’s going on, or you can tell me. But I’ve figured out some shit. I’m not blind or stupid. Obviously little Faith was naughty tonight and lost her v-card to someone that is friends with her big brother. Said big brother has some ass he’s going to kick. The bottle on your nightstand says you barebacked it and the guy got off. The bad, dirty, nasty, and dumbass girl comments are because it didn’t go so well. Am I right?”

“I’m a bad girlfriend,” I growl from my blankies, which only makes Cort laugh louder.

“You remind me of a dog that did wrong and its owner thinks it’s cute and can’t bear to smack it with a rolled up newspaper. Do you feel guilty that you slept with someone else while you were my fake girlfriend or it is something else? It’s not like I haven’t screwed Ezra three times a day since… well, since I was thirteen. I’m not feeling guilty.”

“That’s different,” I grumble.

“How so?” Cort tugs on my blankets and I finally look him in the eyes.

“Because I cheated on all the Ezes too
,” I reluctantly admit, bottom lip trembling. “You can’t cheat on me with him or him with me. It doesn’t work that way.”

“I’m glad that you see us as mutually exclusive. But I wasn’t joking earlier. You are
my
girlfriend. I’m only sharing you with Ez because he’s unstable. Until tonight, I didn’t realize it could be fucking hot if the three of us were together. I honestly didn’t think it would work.”

“You thought that was successful?” I pop out my hole and stare at him
in disbelief.

“Ezra
didn’t kill you,” Cort says with a shrug.

“There was a chance of that?”
I squeak out.

“Ez loves you. Master Ez wants to make babies with you. I
figured you were safe. Ezra is just a little bitch who throws temper tantrums, but he’s evil. I’m not joking- he is
evil
. But with the Ezes riding herd on the brat, I knew you would be safe. I just didn’t know if everyone would be… attracted to each other.”