Faithfully (11 page)

             
When Alex joined me, I started kissing him on the mouth, pulling him back with me onto the bed. I felt needy tonight, more than normal. I wasn’t sure if it was because I would be without him for a week or if I was worried he would be staying back in LA with Paige. She was attractive and talented. They had more in common than Alex and I did. I knew Alex wasn’t anything like David, and I hated myself for comparing and doubting him like I was at this moment. I managed to pull my mind away from the conversation in my head and got lost in the moment. By the time we finally fell asleep, I was lucky to get a couple of hours.

             
I woke to Alex holding coffee in front of my face and kissing my forehead. “Hey, time to get up. Johnny is already on his way over. I made you some coffee and have the shower running already.” I didn’t open my eyes. I was so tired that I just wanted to sleep. “If you want to get back so you can see the girls you need to get out of bed.” That statement was the only thing getting me out of bed.

             
I got out of bed and kissed Alex while taking the coffee mug out of his hand. I took sips as I walked into the bathroom to take my quick shower. I threw my hair in a messy, wet bun before grabbing a robe and heading out to the bedroom. Alex sat next to my suitcase on the bed and had his own cup of coffee in his hand.

“I still don’t
understand why you are a teacher when you hate mornings so much.”

             
“I don’t understand how you are a musician when you like them so much.” I shot him a smirk.

             
Alex pulled me in a tight one handed hug that pulled me onto his lap. “And to think I was going to miss you.” He leaned in, kissing my neck.

             
“Well, I’ll miss you. I’m going to have to start making my own coffee again.” I started to stand up to get ready.

             
“I’ve had your coffee, so you’ll be begging me to come home after the first day.” He let out a small chuckle. “Speaking of home, I am thinking of giving Sam this house for Christmas. What do you think?”

             
I turned and looked at him for many reasons. One, a house is a huge gift, and two, that meant he would be giving up residency in California and making Michigan his new permanent home. I was excited and scared. Everything was so quick. I knew how I truly felt about him. I was still waiting on him to realize he was taking on too much, or we weren’t enough to make him happy.

             
“What are you thinking about? And don’t tell me you aren’t, because you’re biting your lower lip and your eyes are glazed over like you just smoked a joint.”  

             
I playfully slugged him in the arm. “Nothing, really. Where will you stay when you come back to California?”

             
“Is there something you want to tell me? Are you kicking me out? I mean, I have only been living with you a week, and I thought I was hiding all my bad habits until I got the ring on your finger.” He grabbed my hand.

             
“Ha-ha, no, I was thinking when you come back for trips like this one. Where will you stay?” I still wasn’t comfortable opening up about my fears of him one day wanting to leave.

             
“I’ll stay here. It will just be considered a visit and I’ll be a guest. That way she can write the checks to the help.” He was smiling.

             
“It’s your house, money, and sister. It is your choice what you do with it all.” It was the truth. It didn’t matter if I thought it was a great idea or dumb; it wasn’t my place to tell him what to do with any of it.

              “We can talk about it when I get home.” Alex stood up and wrapped me in a hug. “I’ll head downstairs and get a travel mug ready for you. Johnny should be here any minute. Are you sure you are okay with him going back with you? I didn’t give you much choice. I was just thinking of my conversation with him and knew being in LA was getting harder every day.”

             
I reached up and placed my hand on his mouth to get him to stop talking. “It’s fine. The company will be nice, and I’ll get a better chance to get to know him.”

             
“He’ll be fine in the apartment. You don’t need to babysit him.”

             
“Really? You are going to impose your company on me and then tell me to be rude to him?” I was only kidding, and I knew Alex knew with the tone of voice I said it in.

             
“Get ready, you are going to be late if you keep sitting here making me talk to you.” He gave me a kiss as he walked out of the room with my bag.

             
I quickly threw on my sweat pants and t-shirt and head down the stairs. I figured there wasn’t anyone I was going to be seeing and being comfortable was important on the long flight. When I got downstairs, Alex, Johnny, and Sam, were sitting around the island in the kitchen. They each had a coffee in front of them, and there was fresh fruit cut up in a bowl in the middle of the island. Sam scooped me out some and slid the bowl over to me. I didn’t wait for a fork before picking the fruit out with my fingers and sucking them clean when I was done.

             
Alex came over, wrapped me in a hug from behind, and whispered in my ear, “I’m going to have a hard time letting you go if you keep doing that.” He kissed me on the top of the head.

             
“Alright, lovebirds, the car is about to leave, so get your asses moving.” Sam came over and gently pushed us towards the door.

             
“You’re in that much of a hurry to get rid of me?” I asked jokingly.

             
“No, I’m in that much of a hurry to get back to my bed,” Sam said as she wrapped me in a hug. “And I’m not here to say bye to you, but to Johnny.” She pulled away and gave him a hug. I knew she was saying it jokingly, but I felt some honesty in the statement.

             
Alex drove with us to meet the plane. I settled into his side on the drive. I was quiet because I knew I would be missing him. As much as I tried to fight it or deny it, he had become a permanent fixture at my house and I was beginning to rely on him.

             
Johnny and Alex talked about the studio session with Paige the day before. The way Alex made it sound, she was pretty high maintenance and had an attitude. Johnny informed Alex that he should be used to working with attitudes. I felt he was referring to himself. Johnny seemed to be delivering a positive pep talk. I was only catching bits and pieces because I was lost in my own inner thoughts. When we pulled into the airport, it was a bittersweet feeling. I was glad everyone got out of this trip what they needed, and that it was over so I could return home, but I was also sad that Alex would be left behind for a week. I had to keep telling myself that it was only a week and to stop being that girl, the girl Lexi and I always made fun of, the one who couldn’t function without a guy. I had always been independent, even when I was married, and I didn’t want that to change. Maybe this short separation would be good for me. I already had plans on a catch up dinner with Lexi this week. 

             
I climbed out of the car and Alex held my hand as we walked to the back to grab the bags. Johnny had a few suitcases. He walked over and shook Alex’s hand and Alex pulled him in for a man hug. “Remember what we talked about. Actions speak louder than words. Now don’t burn down my goddamn house.”

             
Johnny pulled away and didn’t say anything, but nodded. I wasn’t sure what the exchange was about, but thought I could get it out of Johnny on the plane. He was a talker and liked to share. I liked to sit back and listen while probing for more answers.

             
Alex reached over and pulled me in for a long kiss, followed by a kiss on the forehead. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him in tight. I inhaled his smell. It was something that I loved. He rarely wore cologne. There was just something about his smell that did me in.

             
“I love you, and I wish I was getting on that plane with you, but I’ll get this shit wrapped up and be back in time for Thanksgiving.” Alex rested on the top of my head. “I packed you a few of my shirts in your bag in case you start to miss me.”

             
“Promise you’ll be there for Thanksgiving?” is all I said as I looked up at him.

             
“Promise. I wouldn’t miss my first Thanksgiving with my family and friends for anything. If it’s not wrapped up in time, I’ll cut her. This deal isn’t that important.” I heard what Alex said and it made me feel relieved.

             
When I finally pulled away, I grabbed my bag from his hands and headed up the steps to board the jet. I looked back and saw Alex standing next to the car. I was going to miss him.

~11~

             
When we got on the plane, I noticed we had a different flight attendant than we had a few days ago. I was slightly relieved at this. I placed my bag in the cabinet, on top of Johnny’s. His suitcases took up most of the room in there.

             
I walked back and saw he was sitting at the seat with the table. I took the seat diagonal from him across the table. I didn’t really want to sit there, but thought I would be rude if I sat in the single seat across the aisle. The flight attendant told us right after take-off that she would be back with coffee and muffins. I couldn’t wait for the coffee. I was in need of another cup. I shouldn’t be so tired with the time change. My body couldn’t have adjusted that quickly to the time change, but I also wasn’t used to the late nights. I knew I would be in bed right after I tucked the girls in that night.

             
Neither of us spoke at first. I placed my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes. Johnny was looking at the newspaper that was sitting on the table of the jet. Once we were in the air and received our coffee and muffins, we both seemed to get a little more life in us. Johnny was the first to talk.

             
“Thanks again for letting me come. If you had said no I wouldn’t have blamed you.” There was something about him, something akin to gentleness. If someone had told me this guy and the guy in Portland a few months ago were the same, I never would have believed them. I could now see how addiction could affect people.

             
“Honestly, I am glad you came. I think you will enjoy it. Be prepared though, because it isn’t even half as warm as LA.”

             
Johnny slid his coffee cup and muffin plate aside and rested both hands on the table. “Hey, did Alex talk to you about the conversation I had with him?” I didn’t respond, but just shook my head. “I’m surprised he let me come. I don’t think he will ever forgive me for what happened, and I don’t expect him to either. I hurt someone he loves and it is really unforgivable. I told him the only thing keeping me clean right now is what happened. I’m so sorry, but what I did to you was my ultimate low, and I’ve had some really shitty nights.”

             
“Hey, you need to stop apologizing. I can see you aren’t the same person. I would have written you off before this trip, but I’m glad I gave you a chance to apologize.” I reached over and grabbed his hands in mine.

             
“Alex told me if I really felt bad that I needed to stay clean and prove it. I want you to know that I intend to do that, and by you letting me come, it has helped relieve a lot of that pressure.” I looked at Johnny, and for a strange reason I felt bad for him. I had so much hatred in me towards him just a few days ago, but looking at him, I felt sympathy for him.

             
“Well, I’m only going to forgive you if you stop bringing it up. Seriously, it is water under the bridge.” I was serious and meant what I said. I was tired of talking about the topic.

             
Johnny agreed to let it go and stop bringing it up as long as I understood how awful he would always feel about it. We both acknowledged the other person’s request, and I could see he how remorseful he felt. The rest of the plane ride was uneventful. He taught me to play poker and black jack. I finally understood when to hit, double down, and when to hold back. I knew the concept, but never enough to realize there was a strategy to go along with it. I tried helping him out when I told him what to expect in town and how the town was basically the size of his neighborhood.

             
I felt like I was sharing the ride with Lexi or Derek. There was never a moment that the silence felt weird. The conversations flowed and the silence was comfortable. I thought back to how I hated this man months ago and compared it to my feelings now. I knew in my heart that I did the right thing by not telling Alex. There would be no friendship between the two men if I had, and I don’t think Johnny could have gotten himself clean.

             
We finally landed in Green Bay, and Bruce was waiting for us. Like always, he was happy to see me and I was happy to see him. When we got off the jet, he walked over to meet us. I hadn’t told him Alex was staying back and Johnny was taking his place. When Bruce saw Johnny, he seemed a bit stunned. I was thinking my dad had told him what had happened. My dad and Bruce seemed to keep few secrets from each other.

             
Bruce scooped me up in a hug. “LA must have gotten under your skin. You traded one rocker for a new one?”

             
I laughed. “Kind of, Alex needed to stay back and take care of some business with a new artist he is signing. Johnny came back with me to keep me company and he was coming for Thanksgiving anyway.”

             
Johnny finally made his way completely over to us. “Bruce, this is Johnny. Johnny, this is Bruce.”

             
“It’s very nice to meet you. Everything I’ve heard about you has been great.” Johnny reached out his hand to shake Bruce’s.

             
Bruce reached out his hand. It looked like he was slightly reluctant to take Johnny’s hand. “I wish I could say the same.”

             
I let out a small gasp. I was shocked, because Bruce was not known to be rude to anyone.
              “I have been an ass and I’m trying hard to make amends.”

             
“Wait,” I interjected. Johnny didn’t need to feel scrutinized by Bruce, and I was currently feeling really bad for him. “We talked about this on the plane. You are done apologizing.” I then turned to Bruce. “As for you, he is company, and last I checked, we treat company with respect.”

             
Bruce tipped his ball cap at me. “Yes, ma’am.” Bruce reached over and grabbed my bag out of my hand. “Let’s get this show on the road. We have a dinner to make.” It was already around two in the afternoon, and we still had an hour and a half flight. It would still be a good twenty to thirty minutes before we even left the ground here.

             
We got all the bags stowed and I had Johnny jump in the back. I normally would have offered for my guest to sit in the front, but after Bruce’s comment I felt it was best for him to sit in the back.

             
There was small talk on the plane, but Bruce didn’t go out of his way to include Johnny in any of the conversations. I did my best to include him when I could. Johnny didn’t seem too interested in interjecting. I’m sure Johnny felt the vibes coming from Bruce and probably sensed it was best to back off and not push himself into the conversations, or just to be pushy in general.

             
Once we landed at the airport in town, I saw my dad waiting by the hanger. I was worried, since I hadn’t told him about the change in plans or the fact that Johnny was coming. It was too late to call last night when the decision was made. I figured my dad would treat him worse than Bruce did and I was already feeling bad. As soon as we stopped, I turned to Johnny before I climbed out of the plane.

“I’m sorry.” He looked at me
, puzzled. “About my dad, I’m sorry.”

             
  Johnny smiled. “I deserve everything I get, so don’t be sorry.” I reached over and squeezed his hand. I would have said the old Johnny deserved it, but not the guy I was looking at behind me on the plane.

             
I climbed out and slid off the wing. I waited for Johnny to come out of the plane doorway. My dad was already approaching the plane walking towards me. My dad stopped in his tracks when he saw Johnny emerge from the plane. I was not looking forward to this meeting and was hoping my dad would keep his cool until we had a chance to talk about my visit to LA. I was usually able to reason with my dad, but this was a different situation than what we dealt with in the past.

             
Johnny slid down and walked up next to me. My dad started moving again. Johnny reached out his hand to shake my dad’s. “It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m Johnny.” My dad looked at Johnny’s hand and made no attempt to shake it. After a few seconds and seeing my dad was not going to make an attempt to take his hand, Johnny pulled it back.

             
“Dad,” I said in a stern and almost scolding tone. He looked at me and then back at Johnny.

             
“I’m Charlie O’Hare, but I’m sure you already knew that.” I was annoyed, but I was pretty certain that was the best and nicest introduction my dad was going to do at the moment. My dad grabbed my bag and started towards the car. I reached over and placed my hand on Johnny’s arm and mouthed
I’m sorry
again. I was feeling awful. I was wishing I hadn’t shared what had happened with my dad. The only good thing at this moment was my mother didn’t know, so at least one adult he would be meeting tonight would be nice to him. I wasn’t worried about the girls. I was sure they would be putty in his hands by the end of the night.

             
When we got all the bags in the car and climbed in, my dad spoke first. “Am I dropping him off at Alex’s then?” I wanted to shake my dad at the moment.

             
“No, stop at my house and I’ll grab my car. I’ll throw my bag inside and take Johnny over to the guesthouse and get him squared away.” I was looking at my dad, actually glaring at him, but he didn’t seem to notice. “We’ll be back at your house for dinner.” My dad finally looked over at me and gave me a look. I knew he didn’t want Johnny over at the house, but since I had put it out there, my dad wasn’t that impolite to revoke the invitation.

             
“Honestly, it’s not a big deal. I can just make something at Alex’s. I don’t mind.” Johnny was trying to keep things from being awkward, and that frustrated me more.

             
“No, there is plenty of food. My mom thought Alex would be here so you can take his spot. Plus, there is no food at Alex’s. He hasn’t been home in weeks. You’ll need to go grocery shopping, and I will take you after school tomorrow.” I was wondering what Alex even had at his house. He was there during the day – well, most days – so there had to be at least some snack food.

             
“No, you will eat a good meal tonight. Abby invited you and you are her guest.” My dad tried to make it sound nice, but he seemed to make it pretty clear that Johnny was not his guest at his house. I was already dreading the night. I was glad the girls would have so much to say that there wouldn’t be time for any uncomfortable moments at the table.

             
My dad dropped us off at my house. I was hoping I could figure out a way to pull him aside to talk, but there was no way to do it without it looking obvious. Instead I just went to the front door, unlocking it and placing my bag inside. Johnny piled his bags in the back seat of my car and we headed over to Alex’s house.

             
“Oh my God, this place really is as beautiful as he said,” Johnny said as we pulled in and got the view of the house with the bluff and lake behind it. I loved this house. Growing up, it was always my favorite house in town.

             
“I know. Alex is lucky, and this is a great house with the best view in town.” I pulled in front of the guesthouse that was still technically a guesthouse, but the recording studio was now on the main level in place of the living room and bedroom that were down there. The kitchen and a half bath were still on the main level, but the master and full bathroom were upstairs. “Come on, I’ll show you where you will be staying. Are you sure you don’t want to stay in the main house?”

             
“No, Alex and I can’t live together, believe me. We tried it years ago on several different occasions and the outcome was always the same.” I was picturing all the different meanings behind that statement.

             
I let Johnny in and let him haul his bags up the steps. I left him time to get somewhat settled. I then walked over to the house to grab the keys to the Jeep. I figured it was easier for Johnny to follow me, and that way he was able to leave my parents whenever he wanted to. I didn’t want him feeling like he had to stay, and giving him a chance to leave when he wanted or felt he needed to would best for everyone.

             
When we pulled up to my parent’s house, the girls came bolting out the front door. Josie was waiting for the Jeep to pull in and stop while the other girls were running to me. I tried to let Josie know about Alex, but Johnny was parked and out of the Jeep before I could. Josie stared up at Johnny and then ran over to me. Lily, on the other hand, walked over to Johnny and immediately started questioning him and talking. While she was busy doing that, I explained to Josie where Alex was and hugged and kissed her as much as I could.

             
Lily finally managed to allow us to walk into the house for dinner. My mother was placing bowls on the table and a bottle of wine. I quietly walked over, took the wine off the table, and placed it back in the wine fridge.

             
“What are you doing?” My mother was questioning me, and I wasn’t sure how to respond without making Johnny feel awkward.

             
My dad walked into the room and answered for me. “We have company and our company doesn’t drink.” I was thinking I could have explained it nicer, but my mother didn’t question it. She went to the fridge and grabbed ice tea and milk in place of the wine.