Faerie (8 page)

Of course, Hawthorn Lodge had only just opened. Connor could have been on the other side of the country before he was sent here. But he was here now and that was all that mattered.

“Someone came to see me yesterday, a woman. I think she might be one of us, fey. She left me this note.” Lily pulled it from her bag and handed it to him. He looked down at it, and smiled.

“Yes, she... is fey,” he said, haltingly, with determined effort, but with a bright intelligence in his eyes that seemed to suddenly come from nowhere. It was as if someone had flipped a switch inside his head and he could suddenly see everything so much more clearly.

“You can tell from this note?”

He nodded, running his fingers over the surface.

“Do you know who she is?”

A shake of the head this time and he seemed to drift away again, that same vacant look coming back into his eyes.

Lily huffed out a sigh.

“It looks as if she’s trying to help us, anyway. I think that we are the white king and queen – the black king is the one that’s been trying to hurt me.” Another nod, slower this time, an effort. “Do you know how we can get home?” she asked.

His face dropped into a frown and he reached for the iPad again.

We are...lqto..lo..st...r.fro

He began to get agitated, obviously not able to find the words, and began banging the iPad against the side of his head, rocking backwards and forwards and mewling his frustration – whatever fleeting moment of clarity he’d had had gone now, and she could see that every thought, every action was pure misery for him. Lily reached out and grabbed his wrist to stop him hurting himself.

“It’s all right, Connor, it’s all right. We’ll work it out. But we’ve found each other, that’s all that matters.”

The look he gave her told her that he understood. He swiped away his tears and typed again. He thrust it at her, the look on his face urgent, pressing it into her hands to impress on her the importance of what he had just typed.

We can go away go away now... i can keep u safe.

Lily stared down at the words on the screen and wished with all of her heart that they could leave, just go and never come back.

She could tell that he was struggling to type even these few simple words; she could feel him trying to piece them together from a great tangle of noises and images in his head. His ability to concentrate and reason seemed to come and go from moment to moment, like a wave cresting and falling.

“No, it’s not the right time. We have nowhere to go. I’ll be all right,”  Lily said. Then she remembered how Connor had reacted when Crichter touched him. “Connor, that woman, Crichter... you’re afraid of her. Has she been hurting you?”

She could tell from the instant change in his expression that her suspicions were right. She sense that Connor was trying to shield his thoughts from her, not wanting her to see the worst, but he couldn’t keep her out. She felt as if she were intruding, knew that perhaps she shouldn’t pry, if he was trying so hard to keep her out, but she had to know. They couldn’t afford to have any secrets between them. And as she dug deeper, she saw the worst of it.

“My God, she’s... been torturing you!”

“Not, just me...” he couldn’t find the words and typed:

She hurts all of us... she locks us under stairs if we upset her... one of the other carers helps her

Lily keened her rage, teeth gritted, fists balled.

“The fucking bitch!  She needs to be reported, she can’t be allowed to get away with it.”

No one would believe us... she does it when minnie and tom are not there

Lily could sense far more from his thoughts now. If any of them upset her Crichter was making them go without food, locking them in the dark for hours on end, and hitting them with wet towels so that it didn’t leave a mark. She and the other male carer were tormenting all of the kids, and they were all terrified of her.  She’d been doing it for years and getting away with it, in whatever home they had been in before they came to Hawthorn Lodge, making their lives an utter misery. The next images were even worse and she shut them out, unable to bear seeing them.

Connor closed his arms around himself, rocking backwards and forwards, an expression of abject misery on his face.  Lily pulled him to her, holding him close until he stopped rocking, burying his face in her neck and wrapping his arms around her. He finally lost the battle and he began to weep uncontrollably, hiccuping sobs exploding from him; whether it was joy or misery, perhaps even relief that he had finally found another like himself, she had no idea – perhaps a mixture of emotions that he had no hope of understanding. She felt exactly the same way. He just clung onto her as if she were the last thing in the world and she could only hug him back.

“Want to go... home, go home with... Lily,” he stammered. His face was pressed against her shoulder, her dress damp with his tears.

“Oh Connor, that’s all I want as well. But right now Hawthorn Lodge is your home, and you have to go back there, they’re probably freaking out that you’ve gone missing. You have to go home.”

“Lily is home,” he said, clinging onto her even more tightly.

He took some moments to recover, hiccuping little sobs.

Lily suddenly blinked, staring across the empty field and suddenly feeling dizzy; strange shapes began to form, trees, plants, and flowers that couldn’t possibly be there. Worse, wherever that other place was, it was dark, and although there was no moon or stars in the sky above, still the world was bright with silver light, as if there was some invisible moon in the sky, shedding its light over everything. For a moment she felt dizzy and then it turned to outright nausea, as she realised that she and Connor were sitting in the middle of a half-there tree. She pulled back, staring around in wonder and horror, then realised with a jolt that she was seeing, if not through Connor’s eyes, then at least being shown what he was seeing. Two realities had superimposed themselves one over the other, both as real as the other, night over day, yet both intangible. It was like sitting in the middle of a huge hologram of two different scenes, shapes and forms creating an amorphous mass that seemed to be ever changing, each reality growing more solid and then receding with every passing second. It explained Connor’s sudden moments of almost clarity, a brief respite, that passed all too soon, giving way to madness again. It was almost too much to bear – and this was in an empty field, she couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if she had been in a town or city, with people and traffic bustling all around her. Her head was spinning and she felt nauseous. She could hear sounds overlaying this reality, sounds that couldn’t possibly be there, singing and laughter, the sounds of the fey, and darker sounds, screeches and shrill cries. It was a great cacophony of sight and sound that would drive anyone mad. Was this really Connor’s reality?

“Connor, is this how you see the world all of the time?” she asked, focusing on his face, because he was the only real and solid thing she could see.

There was a nod.

“How can you live with this? Oh, Connor, we have to find a way to stop this. You’re living in hell.”

And then she saw them – Shadow People, coming out of the darkness of Otherworld, creeping out of the shadows, as if they had suddenly become aware that there was some weakness in the barrier between their reality and the world of men. Lily had always known that this tree was special, that perhaps there was an opening here between worlds, she had just never known how to find it before – but they had found it, these monstrous creatures who fed on darkness and fear. They moved across the darkened landscape towards them, and Lily called out, ‘Connor’, a warning that came only just in time as dozens of them surged towards them. She stumbled backwards and fell back against the tree, cowering against it, trying to shield herself from them, dragging Connor towards her, but Connor stood and moved in front of her, a protective shield, in a battle stance. He roared a ‘No’ at them, a great bellow, and Lily watched in a mixture of wonder and horror as the dark forms exploded into dust, a thousand particles hovering in the air and then finally disappearing, along with the other world. Lily was left staring at the empty field again.

“You are okay?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. I promise.”

Connor stopped for a moment, tipping his head as if he was listening, his face troubled.

“They know you’re missing. I can sense it. You have to go Connor, please. Go. I’ll come and see you tomorrow. Everything's going to be all right. I just know it is. We have to believe that.”

“Yes.” he said. “I will... keep... you safe.”

In that moment she knew that she really was safe with him. He was more powerful than her, even in his present state, had magic that she couldn’t hope to match. How could she let him go, knowing that he was the one person that could keep the Shadow People away from her? She stood on tiptoe to place a kiss on his chin, and he bent forwards to put a kiss on her mouth. She stopped him with her fingertips on his lips.

“You could be my brother, Connor.”

It took him long moments to think through the full implications and then he nodded his understanding, and wrote:

Not brother... I am other bit of u

She didn’t really understand what he meant, but nodded her acceptance. Did Connor see her as more than filial thoughts towards her? She thought perhaps he did. When she thought of Connor she didn’t think sex – she thought brother or friend. She couldn’t picture herself ever having sex with him. That just wasn’t how she saw him; she even felt uncomfortable thinking about it. It would be wrong, like trying to seduce a child; that was what he was to her really, a frightened child that she wanted to protect. How could she even imagine having a sexual relationship with him? It was just icky. She would cross that fairy bridge when the time came, for now she had enough to worry about.

He turned to walk away, a look so sad on his face that it broke Lily’s heart. Taking one last look back over his shoulder, he started to run down the hill.

Chapter Seven.

Lily walked back home, trailing her scattered thoughts behind her like Hansel and Gretel’s bread crumbs; every time one dropped from her head, another thought took its place, and none of them made the slightest bit of sense. Her first and foremost thoughts were of utter contempt and hatred for the woman Crichter; she had already decided to lay her worst curse on her, something so awful that it would ruin her life, just as she had ruined Connor’s. She would make her suffer the worst miseries she could rain down on her, blight her with every foul thing known to Feykind. It would free Connor from her once and or all, even if it didn’t free him from his other sufferings.

What had happened in the field had shaken Lily to the core. That vision of worlds within worlds, of one reality shadowing the other had been as close to hell as Lily ever wanted to get. How could anyone live in that terrible half reality, trapped like that, between worlds? It was more than anyone could bear. Somehow she would find a way to either bring Connor fully into this reality or find a way to send them both back to Elphame. But how the hell was she supposed to do that?

She suddenly had a startling clarity of vision – that was what it all boiled down to really, wasn’t it? Clarity of vision. If a fairy ointment could help mortals see Otherworld, then why couldn’t it help Connor to see this one? She already had most of the ingredients she would need to prepare an ointment and she should be able to collect the other things she needed from her herb garden. She had long since taken over the large garden behind the house, because Claire would rather have her fingernails ripped out than do any form of work, let alone gardening. She thought that carrots grew on trees. Lily had planted every herb she might need for any potion, and flowers and plants that had medicinal or other properties for lotions and charms – and everything grew and flourished, nurtured by her magic. Better still tonight was a full moon and that was the very best time to pick them and make potions. She had to try at least, didn’t she? Usually, if a human made an ointment, it would take weeks to mature, but with fey magic she could bring it to maturity in a day or two and take it in to Connor the day after tomorrow. It all worked out perfectly. She’d already decided that she wasn’t going to sleep. She could manage a night without sleep, although it would make her a bit tired tomorrow. Better that than risk a visitation from the djinn. She had no doubt that they would try to come back – they had had far too much fun last night.

When Lily got back home Kieran was lying stretched out on the sofa, his socks trailing off the end of his feet, a family sized bag of crisps clutched to his chest, watching Futurama. Sarah and Liam were nowhere to be seen.

“Where is everyone?” Lily asked.

“Claire’s gone to Bingo and I don’t know where the kids are,” he said in a monotone, his eyes still glued to the TV. “You’ve got to get dinner and put them to bed.” He shovelled another handful of crisps into his mouth, still ignoring her.

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean what I said about your dick,” she mumbled. “Sorry.”

He kept his attention focused on the screen, running his tongue around the inside of his mouth to free trapped shards of crisp.

“Forget it,” he said. “I didn’t mean what I said about your pussy. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Lily had to smile.

“No, not really. You didn’t break anything. Pax ay?”

He looked up then and offered her a crisp as a peace offering. She took it to seal the agreement.

“Yeah, pax. I shouldn’t have punched you. You don’t punch girls.”

Lily raised an eyebrow, a little startled by this unexpected attack of morality.

“You were supposed to be watching the kids,” Lily said, trying not to sound too condemnatory.

“Nah, it’s dope. They’ve been quiet,” he replied.

Lily rolled her eyes, and groaned.

Last time they had been left alone with Kieran, Sarah had got into Claire’s make up and done a face paint job on herself and Liam, and it had taken her a good hour to clean the mess up. She rushed upstairs to find Sarah and Liam in their bedroom, quietly playing with their Lego. She smiled and scooped Liam up, giving him a hug.

“Well done, you two,” she said. “Nice to see that someone’s got some sense around here. What do you fancy for dinner?”

The consensus of opinion fell in favour of fish fingers and chips, although Sarah insisted that she wanted fish fingers and custard. Nice and easy, and as Lily was cooking it, edible ‒ if she left out the custard. The kids were both very quiet through dinner, subdued and not their usual chatty selves. Lily couldn’t help but wonder whether it was because they knew she was leaving and didn’t want her to go.

“Everything all right?” she asked. And there were two nods back, that really didn’t reassure her much.

“We don’t want you to go,” Sarah said, her bottom lip trembling.

“Oh, I know sweetie, but I’ll come back and see you all the time, I promise.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

They seemed slightly mollified, and seemed to forget about it for the rest of the evening. Lily got her chores done and read to them before she put them to bed. Whether Claire liked it or not, Lily had already decided that she was not going to abandon these children to the She Devil’s tender mercies. If she had to, she’d bloody well kidnap them and take them back to Elphame with her.

Lily went up to bed at ten, and Claire still wasn’t back, which probably meant she’d won some money and gone to the pub after to celebrate. It also meant that she could get on with her potions in peace. Kieran was already ensconced in his bedroom, and Lily could hear Shaun of the Dead playing on his TV, so he wouldn’t be bothering her in the near future – the first zombie hadn’t even turned up, so she had plenty of time.

Lily went to her wardrobe and pulled out her mother’s grimoire, her Book of Shadows. In it were all of her spells and recipes, passed down from generation to generation and added to by each daughter in turn. It was a massive tome, about the size of four A4 sheets of paper put together, and almost a foot thick. It weighed a ton and she could barely lift it. The cover was a dark leather, mellowed with age, like polished mahogany and embossed with a beautiful design, scrolls and curlicues, mystic sigils that made it look every inch of what it was. Its pages were old and tattered, fingered by so many witches over the years, made of some kind of parchment, and written in blotchy ink by ancient hands.

There was a difference between fey and witch magic, but there were a great many similarities as well. She could use all of these spells, but her mother would not have been able to use much of her fey magic. Her power didn’t usually need potions and ointments to work, she could simply will something and it would be done. Hers was the power of visualisation, the most powerful magic of all. She suddenly realised that she had a lot more to move to her new flat than she had first thought – she wasn’t going to be able to do all of this in one, or even two trips; her herbs and pots of ingredients would take a couple of trips all on their own. She only hoped that Gary had a strong back to take the weight of the grimoire, without anything else.

The recipe for the ointment wasn’t a particularly complex one. She had found a basic recipe: To reveal that which is hidden, and added her own ingredients to it, to give it a bit of a boost. She had tried out various recipes and found that when she got the ingredients right there was a kind of sparkle or gentle buzz to them – power of some kind infused into them. She had tried this particular recipe once in the spring, to help her see the Shadow People, but soon realised that as soon as she opened her eyes she could see them anyway, and if she couldn’t open her eyes there was no point in the ointment – so she’d abandoned that idea. She still had a lot of the dried ingredients, though. Not as good as fresh, but better than nothing.

Holly berry juice

Lavender

Rain water

Aloe

Olive oil

Hawthorn leaves

Eyebright

Elecampane root

Yarrow flowers

Marigolds

Hollyhocks.

The hollyhocks and marigolds she had growing in the garden. She could easily sneak out and get them without anyone knowing. It was dark now, not deep night, but deep enough for her to slip out unnoticed, although the thought of going out in the dark terrified her – she had no doubt the Shadow People would be out there waiting for her and this time she didn’t even have the false comfort of some imaginary protection. The trouble was, picking the blossoms by moonlight made the chance of the recipe working far greater, and she had to take the risk for Connor’s sake.

She slipped downstairs and out into the back garden, leaving the back door on the jar so that she didn’t make too much noise and could get back in quickly if she had to. As she stepped out she couldn’t help looking around, checking the shadows to see if there was any sign of movement. She’d brought a torch out with her, even though she didn’t need it to see. It had a bright ultra violet beam and if the enemy did appear she might be able to use it to drive them away. If they were there, they were keeping very still and quiet. The whole of the back garden was lit by startling silver moonlight, and she could see as clearly as if it were day; it looked so beautiful – she would have loved nothing more than to come and sit out here, looking up at the stars and feeling the fresh night air caressing her as she sat and played her music. There were many kinds of fey in the woods around the house: fauns, elves, banshees, goblins, pooka, she knew it, but they were all hiding and she couldn’t blame them.

She drew in a deep lungful of air and called her fey magic to her, because even picking the ingredients for the ointment was part of the magic. The hollyhocks and marigolds were close to the house and she could pick them in no time at all, she nipped off blossoms and popped them into the basket, not taking too many from one plant so that it could still thrive. 

And then she became aware of the movement in the bushes. She started and turned towards the sound, her hand frozen in mid air as she was about to pluck the next blossom. The movement again, and she felt her heart quicken. The kitchen door was just six feet away – if she was quick she could get through it before anything could reach her. There was another rustle amongst the leaves, and she let out her breath in a great gush of relief, as the rabbit hopped out and sat just a few feet from her, looking up at her with bright eyes. She gave a nervous and very relieved laugh, which died almost instantly from her lips. Streaming from the bush, just behind the rabbit, swarmed a tsunami of huge black spiders, a seething mass of scuttering legs, moving with horrifying speed. They engulfed the rabbit before it had time to twitch a whisker, pouring over it, thousands of the creatures, completely burying the poor little thing, until all she could see was a swell of black scuttling shapes...

...and they were coming towards her.

“No!” she hissed, clicking on the torch and aiming it at them, swinging it in an arc across the seething sea of black shapes; there was a terrible shrieking sound as the light touched them, and there was a hiss of misty grey smoke where their flesh had been seared. They moved away from the light and she felt a thrill of triumph as she saw the damage she’d done.

Then the bulb blew and she was plunged into darkness again.

Fear had driven away her reason – no, not fear, sheer blind terror. She called on Hecate, the goddess her mother had always taught her to pray to, begged her for protection, watching the creatures heading inexorably towards her. She wanted to move, to run, but her feet seemed pinned to the ground, as if someone had driven invisible knives through them. Her whole body was paralysed, whether by magic or fear she didn’t know, all she knew was that as hard as she tried to move, she just couldn’t. They didn’t stop, but seemed to swerve around her, carrying on past, as if they had bumped into some kind of invisible barrier that they couldn’t break through and which they needed to flee from. Had she done that, had that been her power or Hecate’s? The black carpet of wriggling and scurrying shapes moved around her, disappearing off into the darkness, but more kept coming, and as she watched them, transfixed, arm outstretched, like Moses parting the Red Sea; they seethed around her, leaving her in an untouched island of bare grass. She watched in stunned horror as they seemed to swell up from the ground, sweeping upwards to form one great tidal wave, which morphed, twisting and turning in the air, forming itself into another shape. Limbs crept outwards from the central form, a head, elongating and becoming... something else.

For one terrible, heart stopping moment, she thought it was changing into Him – into that man-creature that she dreaded so much, that haunted her day and night, but instead the dreadful silhouette of a great black hell hound, leapt through the air towards her, yellow green eyes blazing, teeth bared. It smashed head first into her. The world exploded in darkness, as the black smoke poured inside her, forcing its way down her throat, choking her, filling her lungs and paralysing them so that she couldn’t breathe. Her head filled with chaos as a thousand images filled her mind, and she collapsed to her knees, lost in a world that was far removed from this reality, yet overlaying it. The world was on fire, burning buildings spewed flames into the crimson-gold sky, and huge billows of smoke poured upwards from a thousand infernos. Skeletons of twisted metal, stood stark against the mangled concrete of once great buildings, a vast modern city laid to waste. Great rolling clouds of sulphurous gases roiled overhead, an eternal maelstrom, shooting fireballs down onto the decimated world below. Lily could feel the heat from the fires scorching her face, see the molten streams of lava pouring over the rubble of what had once been buildings, cars... and God help her... people. Great piles of ash duned across the landscape, all that was left of humanity. Was this the future or some other reality? She felt the searing heat consuming her, and she let out one long scream.