Fae (23 page)

I remembered the little
girl, starving and dying of thirst. And I remembered how I'd filled
my palm and then a jar with water. Those days in Cailen's room
where I'd tried to make rain. I hadn't felt any resistance at
all.

"But why do you care?" I
said. And then I realized with cold dread that he must have
summoned the others because he didn't know if he could kill me
alone. I turned my head, suddenly sure someone was about to grab
me. But I didn't see anything except the galaxy of molecules that
were always floating in front of my vision now.

"We're tired of being the
outcasts," he said. "We want the Aurume to choose us. But we needed
to make sure you were strong enough to hold your own, first, or
there might have been resistance from some."

I turned back to look at
him. "So what's your verdict?"

"Will you lead us?" There
was a smile in his voice. I could tell he thought he'd won some
kind of victory.

"Ella, please don't do
this." Ranen's words came slow and forced, desperate. "The
prophecy. I tried to warn you about this."

The message on my wall. So
it had been sent from Ranen. I turned to him, waiting for him to
continue.

"We'd always thought that
if you'd gone to Kalhandthar to be sacrificed that it would be the
end of you." He paused to catch his breath. "That you would die if
it ever went that far. But we were wrong. The house of Orsili did
not see. The prophecy meant that the universe would be doomed. Not
you." His black eyes turned to First and I understood. I'd
attracted the Fae'ri when I'd destroyed Kalhandthar and its star.
And now the Fae'ri wanted me to join them. This choice would decide
everything.

"Don't go with them,
Ella," Ranen pleaded, practically whined. "You must choose
El."

I struggled to focus on
Ranen, but the harder I tried, the more it became clear I just
didn't care. El had been long gone and the more I killed, the less
I cared what he thought. It had all been for Meir, really. And if
he was safe...

"Meir's really
safe?"

"Very." First's voice came
out thick with satisfaction. "They'll treat him like he's one of
us. Like a god."

Not even Cailen had done
that. He'd almost let Meir die. I sank to my knees as I realized
all my preconceived notions could be wrong. Everything I believed
came from others. And whenever I'd thought for myself, trusting my
instincts, my own views of the world, they'd clashed with
everything I'd been told.

I wasn't like them. I was
something more.

I looked at First again,
memorizing the shape of his black orbs, the way the green molecules
danced around them, eager to obey this boy who was so much more.
"Yes," I said. "I'll go with you."

Chapter Nine

A New Home

In many ways, the Fae'ri
ship was very similar to Cailen's. They had the same bioluminescent
walls, the same jungle rooms, the same floors that felt like
walking through grass. But there was a lot that was different, too.
The most glaring difference being the slaves.

Very few of the ship's
inhabitants were Fae'ri. Most of the people walking around with
their downcast eyes were regular human beings. First—whose real
name was Lachlan—explained to me when we first arrived that most of
them considered it a great honor to serve their gods on the ships.
He said there were still countless planets out there full of people
who had no way to travel the universe. And some planets didn't even
know there were other civilizations in existence.

As I sat in my room,
resting, waiting for the chance to see Meir again, I thought about
what it must be like to live so isolated from the rest of the
universe. Could the people possibly be happy? Were there
wars?

I imagined they weren't
too much different from us, except perhaps their wars were smaller.
I decided then I'd visit one of them someday, study them. Perhaps
even get lost for a time.

For now, though, I'd
picked my fate. And it was with the Fae'ri. It seemed natural, now
that I thought about it. El had made me the Destructor. Of course I
was a goddess among men. And obviously their leadership had been
lacking. Lastrini and the emperor had ceased to operate in their
people's best interest. They needed someone like me to take over.
They'd thank me eventually. And when they did, I'd destroy them. A
goddess needed to live up to her name, after all.

If nothing else, I'd
learned that no one looked at me seriously unless they looked at me
in terror.

I spread myself out on my
bed, willing myself to sleep. My body needed the rest, so I pulled
back the drilium coursing in my blood. The molecules blinked away
and I was left in darkness, pure and complete. I closed my eyes and
let fatigue hit my very core. I sank so completely into the
cushions of the bed, I was sure I'd never be able to get back
up.

Hours later, I woke with a
nice sheen of drool pooling from my chin to my neck. Lovely, of
course, but boy did I feel good. Not just rested—even though I was
and it was much needed after days of sleeping with my arms hoisted
above my head—but stronger, refreshed. My body practically sang in
gratitude. And I made a vow as I clutched my pillow around my head
that should I ever find out the inventor of the mattress, I would
thank him—or his ancestors, since he was probably dead.

That brilliant, brilliant
man. Or woman. Whichever.

But since my rumbling and
achy stomach indicated I'd been sleeping for a while—not to mention
just the sheer mass of drool on my face—I decided to shorten my
avowals and look for food. Priorities, after all.

I pulled the drilium
through my blood and a galaxy of molecules flitted before my eyes.
It was harder to see in this place than The Block. The bunker's
walls on Soltak had been dead, cold steal, but these were alive and
flowing with molecules. The very walls breathed air and red, hot
heat coursed within its layers. So, of course, marking out the
structure of the ship by separating what my dead eyes couldn't see
with what my mind could was pretty much impossible. But I supposed
that should be expected when your ship is a living
organism.

Since Lachlan had escorted
me to my room and even eased me onto the bed, I hadn't really given
much thought to how hard it was to see through all the molecules
buzzing around my head. It was like standing in the middle of a
constellation while trying to make out its shape.

I'd just about decided to
call for help when my door slid open and a tightly-compacted human
shape form of racing and throbbing lights stood before
me.

"Lachlan?" I
hoped.

"Huh. I keep forgetting
you're blind." Yes, definitely Lachlan. I hadn't met many others
who could pull off such a haughty tone in regular
conversation.

"Wish I could forget as
well."

He extended his hand
toward me and paused. "May I?"

Since I couldn't tell
shapes apart in this place anyway—besides human, of course—I
decided I didn't have much option but to accept his help. So I
placed my hand on his arm and let him lead the way.

Everywhere he led me,
people moved to the side to let us pass. I knew they were slaves,
but still. It kind of unnerved me in a way. In a good way. I liked
it. And after a while, I noticed my face had grown sore from
smiling.

We stopped at an orchard
room that smelled thick like syrup. Lachlan picked a fruit that
swarmed with green molecules and handed it to me. I took it and
smiled my thanks before sinking my teeth into its velvety flesh.
Its warm, wet innards burst into my mouth and ignited my taste buds
on fire. I fought off coughs as I forced it down my
throat.

"You don't like
it?"

"It's hot!"

"Wait a moment." I could
hear the smile. And sure enough, after a few seconds, the fire on
my tongue and in my throat transformed into a mellow sweetness,
fresh and cool.

"What is it?" I moaned
before taking another bite. The fire didn't surprise me this time.
In fact, the sweet aftertaste from the first bite blended
harmoniously with the fiery second.

"Just something we picked
up from a planet we inhabit." He chuckled as he watched me eat. "I
wouldn't ever have more than one in a sitting if I were you. They
can get quite addicting and more than one will make you
drunk."

I finished off the fruit
and licked my fingers. "Good to know." I paused with a finger in my
mouth as something occurred to me. "In fact, how do you know so
much? You're younger than me and you've been the Emperor's First
for years."

His lighted form shrugged.
"Yes, but every Fae'ri is taught these basic things before they
receive their training and assignment. Come on. We can come back
later. There's someone who wants to see you."

My heart jumped.
"Meir?"

"No, not yet." Lachlan's
voice turned soft, apologetic. "We had to sedate him."

I stopped and yanked my
hand off his arm. "What?"

"He attacked the slaves
assigned to him." Disdain was back in his voice. "One of them
probably won't make it. We may be advanced, but a crushed skull is
hard to fix."

"Why would he do that?"
That didn't sound like Meir at all—my gentle savior.

In answer, he took my hand
and put it back on his arm. "Not all our pets behave."

"Don't you ever see them
as friends?"

"No."

Sadness gripped me. "Meir
is my friend."

He made another sound with
his throat. "I guess there was one slave I saw as a friend once. "
He paused. "But then I grew up."

I didn't say anything more
and neither did he. Perhaps I was being childish. How could I see
some of them as insects and one of them as a cherished father
figure? It didn't match up. And yet, wasn't I remembering my real
father? Did I still need to replace him?

I thought back to the
memories that had recently surfaced of my father. He was...perfect.
His laugh, his eyes, the way he held me and kissed me on the cheek.
I wanted him back so badly it hurt. Why did I have to remember
right when I'd lost him forever?

Everything had been easier
before my memories had started coming back. I hadn't doubted
Cailen—though now I see how he'd manipulated me all along—and I
hadn't yearned for any other father but Meir. And more importantly,
I didn't feel bitter inside, because I realized now that's what I
was. I'd counted on so much that turned out to be false. I'd let
others shape my morals because I'd trusted them and wanted to be
like them. Now I saw I needed to follow my own morals. So perhaps
it
was
childish
clinging to Meir like he was an equal.

Chapter Ten

Old Friends, New Enemies

Before long, Lachlan and I
had reached a far less populated section of the ship. And the
people I did see here were all Fae'ri. I could see now how the
molecules they controlled all reacted to their movements. Mostly
air and water, but there were some Firestarters, too. Everyone
stopped what they were doing when we passed and saluted by exposing
their wings. I didn't think they were saluting me, though. Lachlan
was a Marid, after all. And that meant "special."

We finally turned into a
room and stopped in front of a man who did not salute. In fact, by
the rigid way his lighted form stood, I imagined he didn't salute
for anyone. I waited, motionless, for him to say something. For
Lachlan to say something. No one spoke. So I looked straight into
the black orbs of his eyes while my peripheral vision detected the
way the blue lights danced around him. A Windbringer.

Minutes passed as we sized
each other up. When he finally spoke, my heart jumped into my
throat because this was another voice I'd recognize anywhere. Well,
at least since I'd heard it again in my memories.

Galen.

"I'm sorry, what?" I said.
In my shock, I'd missed what he'd said.

"I said, it's nice to see
you again, Ella."

"What are you doing here?
On this ship? With the Fae'ri?" I couldn’t keep the shock out of my
voice no matter how hard I tried.

He chuckled. "Yes, I'm
sure it
is
a
shock." That wasn't an answer to my question, though. I
waited.

"Is that all you have to
say?"

"What would you like me to
say?"

"How about some
explanation for why you're letting your son fight out there against
you."

"Ahh, yes. Cailen." Again,
not an answer to my question. He was good at that. In a very
annoying way.

"And?" I said, leading him
to continue.

"And we aren't technically
fighting. Yet. So I'll worry about that when we get
there."

"That's nice."

"I'm sorry I disappoint
you."

I almost laughed at how
horribly absurd that statement was. "You disappointed me the day
you committed Cailen to Anna."