Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (12 page)

He was looking deep into my eyes, still very
pissed off, and he was breathing heavily trying to calm himself.

“Lucy,” he finally said, through clenched
teeth. He closed his eyes, “please stop fighting me.” He lightened his grip and
backed up. “Those chains have the capacity to tow semi-trucks, and if you keep
fighting, I will have to add the ankle cuffs.”

“You man-handled and shackled me, asshole!”
I lashed out at him again. “Like some medieval barbarian, or caveman, or
something!” I was ranting, not even sure what I was saying anymore but didn’t care
because I was still fuming.

He looked tired now as he studied my
expressions and movements. “You didn’t give me a choice,” he said, exhausted.

“You always have a choice,” I mocked his
earlier words in a lowered voice, which wasn’t too hard, considering it was
still raw and ragged from all the screaming I did.

He half-smiled, but I was still mad. I head
butted him, and he swung me around by the chains, making me lose balance and
fall to the ground once again. This time he followed, putting most of his weight
on me to still me. I wrapped my legs around him to squeeze him into submission,
but all that earned me were a few quickly-faded bruises on my inner thighs.

He answered back by pushing his body further
up against mine, trapping the chains and my hands awkwardly at my side with one
hand, as the other slid to my neck. He slid that hand down to my chest and held
me down far enough away where I couldn’t head butt him again. The touch of his
hand on my chest made me ultra-aware of my body, particularly my increasing,
fragile heartbeat under that strong hand. It also made me more aware of the
rising and falling of my chest due to the deep heavy breaths I was taking.

The way his eyes bore into mine made those
breaths shorter and more ragged. I became more aware of other parts of my body
and way too aware of certain parts of his body. Feeling his weight pressed
against me left my skin tingling and I felt warmth growing deep in the pit of
my core.

He looked directly into my eyes when he
said, “Just for the record, I never had a choice with you.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but some of
the cloudiness lifted from the brain fog he always caused and his words felt
somewhat intimate. I realized the arch of my back curving up toward his body.
My stomach and chest were pressing firmly against his, and he responded in the
same way, but it was as if he were being more careful, like he was containing
himself. I wasn’t used to this, but I recognized it as arousal.
What the hell!
I was immediately disgusted with myself for being turned on by a vampire.

Before I could resist further, he rolled off
me and let me up. He took the chains off of me, knowing I was finished. I
didn’t want to fight any more, but I was still angry. I couldn’t risk getting
close to him anymore, so I stalked to the passenger door and slammed it as I
waited for him to get in the car.

Remembering those jet black eyes he was
sporting earlier, I shoved aside all unwelcome feelings and replaced them with
distrust and hatred. I watched him redeposit the chains into the trunk. Several
moments passed as I watched cars zoom by on the interstate.

He stood in the grass with his back to me,
and I saw him wipe his hand down his face like he was wiping away his stress
and frustration. I turned my attention back to the highway, and he finally
joined me in the car. We turned off the shoulder and back onto the interstate. I
was prepared for more silence, but he broke the tension.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but if we
didn’t get out of there when we did, we would have both been on their radar.
And I can’t protect you like I do if they come after me too.”

I was about to argue, but he cut me off
saying, “And I know you don’t want my protection, and you don’t think you need
it, but I won’t stop until I die. Maybe I did want to kill them all,” he said
through an exhausted smile. “But not at the expense of your life,” he added
somberly. “It was a mistake to take you there. I’m sorry. I thought you might
be ready for more information, but it was too much. Maybe I just wanted you to
be ready. I don’t know. It seems the more I’m around you, the less I know.” He
was just thinking out loud at this point.

I was too exhausted to think about what that
really meant.
He was right
. Wait, what? Damn my rational thought for
kicking in now. Ok, yes it was dangerous, and we might have both been killed,
but that didn’t mean I was about to start agreeing with the guy on everything. Although
he claimed his intentions were pure, I wasn’t buying it. What vampire protected
a human, or half human, without getting something out of it himself?
This
one did
. Ugh! What was he doing to me? I had enough thinking for one day.

I stared out the window at passing fields
that were now stripped bare from the fall harvest, and the light bouncing off
the reflectors in the center of the road came toward me like a video game. I
was mesmerized. Quickly slipping in and out of consciousness, it was only a
matter of time before I succumbed to exhaustion. The cold seeped into my bones,
and the chill in the air forced my arms around my body. I felt his eyes on me
as mine drifted closed.

The last thing I remembered was feeling warm
air on my skin as it blasted through the vents, and he was saying something
about looking into the suicides in the next few days then getting back to me on
what he found out.

†

I woke up to mid-day light streaming through
the narrowly-slit blinds in my bedroom. I was wrapped in fluffy softness like a
cocoon. With all the craziness that’s taken place in my life the past few
weeks, it felt so good to bask in the comfort. It was as close to spa-like
relaxation as I would ever come, so I lied there a while to appreciate the ease
of the moment. I cleared my head of mysterious vampires, ancient assassin
vampires, faux suicides, and confusing, unsolicited emotions. I pulled the
comforter up to my chin and curled my body in as I lay on my side facing the
filtered light of the window.

I knew Clint wanted me to be at work today,
but I had another hour before I needed to leave, so I lied in bed the entire
time until the last possible moment before rolling off the new pillow top
mattress. I grabbed a quick meal comprised of a chicken salad sandwich and
Doritos, and then took pop tarts on the go as I strolled down my usual path to
the music shop.

There were a total of seven customers during
my whole five-hour shift, and by the time I left work, I was ready to move a
little. It was still early for vamps to come out so I went for a long and very
fast run.

The cold night air stung my face, but the
accompanying adrenaline rush was well worth the discomfort. I crossed downtown
St. Louis in minutes, ducking through alleyways and leaping dumpsters then
circled back. As the rush tapered off, I slowed to normal jogging pace and my
feet stamped heavily against the sidewalk while I came to a stop. I leaned over
putting both hands on my knees to catch my breath, and when I looked up, my
eyes caught on the building in front of me and kept going up the stone façade
until stopping at the familiar figures on top.

Are you kidding me, Lucy?

I thought seriously about going in to take
out my returning confusion on him, then thought better of it. I was still
enjoying the simple normalcy of my life too much to jump back into all my new
found issues, so I focused my attention back on patrolling those other vampires
who had very clear, very evil intentions. Life was so much easier when it was
all killing, death, and seclusion. I was really beginning to miss those days.

I roamed the streets all night hoping for
one of those normal pieces of my previous life to return, but I came up empty.
There were no vampires out at all, which only made me suspicious. This was
definitely not normal, but indicative of my new confusing problematic life. It
was really feeling more and more like the calm before the storm. In my case it
was probably more like a hurricane. I had no idea what was to come, but I was
hoping Gavin would find something out about the suicides so I had something to
go off of. As much as I hated relying on anyone for anything, let alone a
nightwalker, I didn’t have any leads of my own.

Feeling a little deflated at tonight’s
inactivity and impending doom, I headed back to my apartment, almost excited at
the thought of slipping back into my comfortable bed. I had to admit it was
growing on me. I hoped Gavin wouldn’t ask for all his stuff back, because he
wasn’t getting it.

I passed Busch Stadium on the way back home,
and in a world of hits and misses, tonight was a definite strikeout. With my
luck, they were all waiting to come after me at once when I least expected it.
I guess I was just going to have to be on my guard forever.

The next few days passed much the same.
There was little going bump in the night, and I was beginning to feel pretty
useless. Before getting too depressed about my non-life, I decided it was time
for a little pick-me-up. My fingers dialed the memorized number, and the
familiar voice chimed in on the second ring, “Hey biotch.”

I cringed at the annoying nickname, and my
jaw clamped together with an audible click. “What’s up? What are you doing?”

“Nothing right now. I have a class in a
couple hours. Why? You want to meet up for a few?” she perked up at the chance
to do something. She was always the type that had to keep moving.

“Yeah. Twenty minutes?” I suggested.

“Sounds good,” she confirmed, and we agreed
on a café not far from her place.

†

I got there first, and the lunch crowd was
just clearing out so I grabbed a table by the big picture windows in the front
of the café and ordered a hot chocolate and blueberry muffin, which I picked
apart impatiently, morsel by morsel.

Holly showed up, exaggerating the outdoor
atmosphere by stomping her oversized boots on the front mat and wrapping her
arms around herself while shivering dramatically. She rubbed her gloved hands
up and down her arms to create heat and clomped her way over to the table
shrugging off her giant winter coat and pulling off her matching hat and scarf.

It was only 37 degrees outside, mild
compared to the bitter temps we would endure in months to come. But that was
Holly. She openly hated the cold and constantly wished for summer. I couldn’t
argue with that, though.

“I hate the cold,” she voiced unnecessarily.
“So what’s up? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” she said taking the
seat opposite mine.

I didn’t exactly want to delve into the
craziness of my present life. I was hoping for more of a distraction from all
of that so I redirected the conversation back on her. “Nothing exciting. Same
old, same old. What’s been going on with you lately?”

“Well, I’m seeing this new guy I met in one
of my classes. We’re going out tonight,” she said excitedly.

“Wow, you seem happy. Is this guy the one or
something?” I hedged, hoping for a long conversation about their meeting and
the whole relationship so far.

She looked at me incredulously, almost
repulsed by the thought, “It’s just the newness of it all. It’s exciting. I
like this part of the relationship, but I doubt it’ll go much farther than a
month or two. He’s hardly the
one
,” she said mocking my tone on the last
word. “I don’t want to get married, ever.”

“Ever? What if you meet Mr. Right?” I asked.

“There’s no such thing as Mr. Right, just
Mr. Right Now. I just don’t think it’s right to tie yourself to one person your
whole life. That’s why so many people get divorced,” she said, convinced.

“But there are people who get married that
stay together, like, your parents,” I argued.

“Yes, they do seem to be the exception, but
most of those people that get married are miserable because they end up driving
each other crazy,” she continued.

“Wow, I didn’t expect so much cynicism from
you,” I said.

“Yeah, I guess I have a broader view of the
real world than most,” she said pointedly.

“Hmph, yeah, I guess you do.” She got me
there. It’s harder to stay optimistic about life with so many bad things in the
world, and the more bad things you see, the harder it is to find the good
things in life.

“I’m shocked you would defend the
constitution of marriage. I didn’t expect to be the more cynical one when it
came to this topic,” she said, cutting off my thoughts and surprising me a little
with the accusation.
Me
? The hopeless romantic? Yeah right. “What? Are
you planning on getting married someday?” she asked bluntly.

“I, uh, I,” I stammered with the ridiculous
picture of me in a white gown at the alter that popped in my head. “Are you
kidding? Hell no. You know me, what I am. You think I’m cut out for that whole
cookie cutter family, picket fence, changing diapers crap? Not a chance in
hell, which coincidently, is where my future lies, that big fiery inferno,” I
shot at her.

A slow smile spread across her face,
“Really? Cause you got a little defensive there, sweetheart. And your cheeks
are a nice shade of pink,”

I cut her off, “It’s the cold,” I snapped.

“Oh, still defensive. So is there a
particular someone that’s got you thinking the sanctity of marriage might not
be such a bad thing? Is there a certain someone that you could picture spending
the rest of your unnatural life with? Are you picturing someone right now?”

Before I could clear my head of this
nonsense, there was a quick flash of familiar ice blue eyes and strong jaw
line. I barely had time to erase the disturbing image from memory before she
picked up on the hesitation. Too late.

Holly’s eyes grew wider than I had ever seen
them, and she slammed both palms down on the table and cocked her head forward
as if choking on something. It only emphasized the bulge of her eyes from their
sockets.