Authors: Alex Kosh
I followed Romius’s glance and saw Chas, still with Nathalie, standing about twenty-five yards away and casting worried glances at me.
“Goodbye for now, uncle. And thank you,” I said as Romius walked away, addressing him like a friend for the first time.
Before the Higher Craftsmen was even a few steps away, Chas came flying up to me.
“What did he say to you?”
How could I answer that? Tell him I’d just declined the phantom of the throne? Or maybe that I was a poor excuse for an Academy adept?
“Nothing special … He took a liking to my music,” I replied thoughtfully.
“And what was he so furious about?”
“Furious?” I echoed in surprise.
“Yes, when he snapped at you like that.”
Ah, so that was it. Chas had obviously caught the moment when Romius told me not to interrupt. That was only natural – no one was allowed to interrupt a Higher Craftsman. Of course, from the outside it must have looked pretty severe.
“Nothing really. I just interrupted him by accident,” I admitted honestly.
“You interrupted a Higher Craftsman? Are you tired of living?”
“Calm down, will you. And where’s your lady love?” I said, trying to change the subject quickly.
“What lady love?” asked Chas, suddenly embarrassed. “What do you mean?”
“Oh come on, what were you doing strolling around arm-in-arm with Nathalie?”
“I just didn’t want to leave the girl in such slimy company, they’d only spoil her, for certain.”
I had to agree with him there. How had I managed to date Liz for three whole months? It was a mystery to me.
“Listen, did you see the girl in white?” I asked, looking for that beautiful white outfit.
Chas didn’t answer.
I turned back to see why he wasn’t saying anything. Chas was gaping at me expectantly.
“What’s up?”
Chas said nothing for another moment or two, then he answered: “I was just wondering if I know you at all. You think you know someone, then it turns out that’s not the way things are at all.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I thought you’d never been very interested in the Academy, then suddenly it turns out that you know the best senior pupils and make polite conversation with Higher Craftsmen. What else don’t I know about?”
I couldn’t come up with any answer to that. He was right in a way, of course. It was a crazy kind of day. And then, Chas still didn’t know that I’d got into the Academy. My conversation with Nick at the entrance had obviously gone in one ear and out the other.
“I don’t really know how to explain it all to you …”
“Well, explain it any way you like.”
“Basically, I’ve been accepted for the Academy.”
Did I already mention that this really was a quite remarkable day?
Chas laughed for a long time. When he finished, he asked: “Come on, be serious!”
To be quite honest, I was rather offended.
“I’m perfectly serious.”
“You’ve been accepted into the Academy? You can’t even light a lamp.”
Now I was definitely offended.
“So what?” I snapped. “We can’t all be unacknowledged geniuses like you!”
Chas recovered his manners and gave me a guilty glance.
“Sorry. It’s just hard to believe.”
“You’ll have to believe it!” I said, still angry.
Then I turned towards the hall and stared apathetically into the crowd, looking from one face to the next. I really was offended and I had to try to calm myself somehow.
Chas put his hand on my shoulder: “Oh come on now. I’m glad you managed to get in, though I still can’t really believe it. It’s really great, maybe we’ll even be in the same faculty. Which was your preferred element in the tests, oh Higher Craftsman?” he added, resorting to sarcasm.
“All of them,” I answered without thinking about it. “And in general, as the very Highest Craftsman, I’d like to find myself a girl for the evening.”
My friend smiled broadly.
“That’s the good old Zach I know. Well, at least there’s a wide choice. There’s the irresistible Sandy …” – he pointed to a slim lady who, at a quick guess, was about five times my weight – “… and the kind-hearted, understanding Liz, and even a rosy-cheeked little charmer with rather long teeth. Who do you prefer?”
He had no idea that he’d hit the bull’s eye – the rosy-cheeked charmer with rather long teeth was the very one I intended to approach. Only I couldn’t pick her white dress out from the crowd.
“I think the last one, give me more details,” I murmured, more to myself than to Chas, but he heard me. He gulped quietly, then collected himself and said, “More details? She can give you more details herself, especially since she’s standing right behind you.”
Sure, I was going to believe that. But just to make absolutely certain, I turned round.
“Oh …” I gasped when I came nose to nose with the delightfully white little face of my recent visitor.
“Hello, Zachary … mmm … Nickers, if I’m not mistaken?”
Some chance that she would be mistaken!
“In person,” Chas butted in. “You see before you the object of his parents’ pride and every girl’s passion, our very own Emperor’s favourite, great (but modest), strong (but kind), handsome (but not vain). Oh, but why am I always talking about myself? Allow me to introduce you … this is Zach. And who might you be, mademoiselle?”
The girl took absolutely no notice of my friend, she just looked at me with a curious expression on her face.
“Er … well, yes,” I said with an involuntary giggle. “But we’re already acquainted, it’s just that I haven’t heard your name yet.”
Chas looked at me suspiciously, then turned his gaze on the girl, shrugged, said something like, “You’re wicked, I’m leaving” and set off in the hope of finding a certain special girl for … well, simply to find a certain special girl.
“Yes, it’s rather awkward. My name’s Alice. I’d like to apologise for what happened this afternoon ... I just thought I ought to come over and apologise, so …”
She broke off, slightly embarrassed, and looked at me. I stood there with an absurd grin on my face. After a couple of seconds my slightly foggy brain sent a message to the muscles of my face, and about ten seconds after that I started looking like a more or less normal human being again.
“Oh come now, it’s not every day you get a crossbow fired at you. By the way, I still have it at home, you can collect it today if you like.”
After I said it, I realised I’d said something wrong. And I compounded my blunder by adding: “Although perhaps you’d better not.”
Blockhead!
“Well, all right then,” she said, pretending she hadn’t heard. “I think I’ll be going, since I seem to be
persona non grata
around here. You shouldn’t associate with me, it might put a dent in your family’s reputation.”
She shouldn’t have mentioned my family. The very thought of my aunt and the number of times a day she reminded me about our reputation was enough to make me furious. It seemed as if the only thing my aunt was interested in was reputation, even her own nephew didn’t mean a thing to her, he was merely a component of her reputation.
I must admit I didn’t want to let Alice go, but now I was like a man possessed. Then the music started playing and I reached out my hand without speaking to ask her to dance.
Naturally, she didn’t refuse.
It was most opportune, as I realised later, that there was a lot of empty space around us. People were deliberately ignoring my new friend, and I was automatically enveloped in the same atmosphere of alienation. Although there was music playing, nobody but us showed any inclination to dance. We took advantage of our freedom of movement to perform several dance steps, and suddenly other couples started joining us. Later I had the suspicion that Chas and Nathalie were the first pair, but there was no way of telling for certain. We danced for a while. I must say she danced divinely: surrendering herself to the rhythm, she was supple and responded subtly to every movement I made. Her white robe fluttered in the air, making her seem ethereal and creating the impression of flight.
But then the music ended, and we moved back to the wall in silence. Naturally, the space around us was suddenly empty. I chose my habitual spot behind the aspidistra – it concealed us from half of the curious gazes, at least.
When she got her breath back a bit, the girl said: “You dance quite well, only your sense of rhythm lets you down a bit.”
I was about to launch into a speech about how I was taught to dance by the finest teachers in the capital, but then I noticed the glint of merriment in her eyes.
“Yes I’ll try to improve on that next time,” I replied meekly.
“Yes, do try,” she said with an enchanting smile. “Only I’m afraid there won’t be a next time. Didn’t you notice the looks your aunt was giving you?”
“What aunt? I don’t have any aunt. And I don’t give a damn for her social whims.”
Alice shrugged: “Fine, I don’t care much for all these airs and graces either.”
“How do you mean?” I asked her.
“Vampires attach too much importance to formalities. Even more than humans do,” the girl said with a rather thoughtful air.
I couldn’t help recalling the old legends from my childhood. There was something about the life of vampires; something about blood relationships, someone being someone else’s master. But who knew what they were really like?
“What’s it like … being a vampire?” I asked, taking even myself by surprise.
The girl shrugged and answered my question with a question of her own: “What’s it like being a human?”
“Okay,” I replied, slightly taken aback. “A human’s always a human, even in Tabernacle.”
“And a vampire’s always a vampire, even in Tabernacle,” Alice replied rather irritably, obviously not keen to pursue the subject.
“I see,” I said thoughtfully.
The conversation had died the death, but I still didn’t want to give up, and as I was trying to find something to say, Alice suddenly kissed me. Just like that, out of the blue. No, of course I didn’t mind, but those teeth were sharp and my lips naturally suffered in the process. When she finally moved away I exclaimed emphatically: “Oooh …”
“Sorry about that,” she said in a surprisingly neutral tone (bearing in mind that we had just kissed). “Nothing personal, I just needed to annoy someone.”
“That’s okay,” I murmured. “Glad to oblige any time.”
“See you later,” she said with a nod and suddenly slipped out from behind the aspidistra and disappeared from view.
I raised my eyes to the heavens (or, in this case, to the ceiling) and enquired of someone up there (in the heavens, not on the ceiling) what transgressions I had committed for all this to be visited on me. I even thought I saw the shadows on the ceiling suddenly start moving, as if they were encouraging me, or, on the contrary, warning me about something …
It took a while before I could start thinking more or less sensibly. What on earth made me do it? I didn’t even like dancing very much. And why did she go so suddenly, leaving me, so to speak, with my feelings in total disarray?
“Well, now watch out!” said Chas when he appeared from behind the aspidistra. “Have you already decided which death you’ll choose? You could hand yourself over to the Tabernacle Inquisition, I think their tortures will seem like innocent children’s games compared to what your aunt will do to you.”
I was still suffering from a certain degree of confusion, so I decided not to say anything. Especially since, to put it mildly, this was no joking matter. Knowing my aunt, I really might decide to commit hara-kiri (whatever that might be) … Wait, what was “hara-kiri”? Where did I get the word from? Ah, I remembered. I thought I’d heard something of the kind in one of my strange dreams …
But now wasn’t the time for me to be thinking about dreams. What had happened to my aunt?
Struggling up out of my deep reverie, I focused my attention on Chas’s voice.
“… And what does she see when she walks up to her beloved nephew? He’s kissing the one individual that even the most unbiased of people turn away from. And when she tries to explain to the impudent hussy that her behaviour is, at the very least, improper, the reply she receives is that you’ve set the wedding for the third month of spring. What do you have to say to that, future father of little vampire babies?”
The future father had lost the gift of speech before he even recovered it fully.
What wedding? Did I miss something? My aunt would have a fit … if she hadn’t had one already. And if she hadn’t, I would, with some assistance from her.
“Er … Chas, is she very … angry?” I asked, almost starting to hiccup.
“Angry? Well, how can I put it? I’d say she was berserk with fury, scattering thunderbolts, ready to tear you apart with her bare hands …”