Face the Music (11 page)

“Hoping to spot Brett?” I ventured.

“Is Iron Cross arriving today?” Caitlin asked as she picked up some discarded items of clothing.

“Yeah, they’re supposed to get here this afternoon,” said Allie. “Can’t wait to see those guys. It feels like it’s been ages.”

“It’s going to be so great to see both of your bands performing in the same concert,” said Caitlin. “It’s so exciting!”

Beanie made a silly face as she imitated her friend. “It’s so exciting!”

Then Caitlin tossed a pillow at her. “Hey, excuse me for having a good time, but I happen to think this is fun.”

“Yeah, so do I,” said Beanie. “Just not with the energy level that you have. Now, does anyone want to go vintage clothes shopping with me?”

“I do,” called Laura from the other room.

I was relieved because I was starting to feel guilty, like maybe I should offer to go, but I’m really not much of a shopper. Just ask my mom.

“I think I’ll stick around and use this quiet time to work on some lyrics,” I told them. And that’s what I thought I would do. But the truth is, I ended up sleeping for most of the afternoon. Which, the way I see it, was probably smart since I was feeling
pretty wiped from only one week on tour.

Then we did our promotional gig at the church and actually enjoyed a pretty decent sermon on how it’s impossible to “outgive” God. And while I think this is absolutely true, I must express some disappointment that they decided to take
another
offering at the end of the service. I’m not sure why this bugs me. Maybe I think that if God’s telling us to give, then we should just give, quietly and without much ado. I personally believe that God wants me to give generously—and I do, happily. But that’s between God and me.

It was a relief the pastor had requested that no autograph session take place following the service. “If you want their autographs, you’ll have to go to their concert with Iron Cross on Tuesday night at the auditorium.” And that way, we were able to slip quietly back to our hotel and call it an early night.

“I’m going to go check for a package from Omega at the concierge,” said Willy. “I’ll see you girls bright and early for practice tomorrow.”

“Yeah, bright and early,” I tossed back at him. “Like around eleven?”

He gave me one of his Willy looks and then said, “Evening, ladies.”

“Doesn’t anyone want to stick around the lobby and look for the guys?” Allie suggested as we
were heading toward the elevators.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” said Caitlin.

“Why not?” demanded Allie, pausing to put her hands on her hips as if a physical display might somehow help her sorry cause.

Caitlin seemed to consider this. I think this was the first time any of us had really put her on the spot. “Well, first of all, I don’t think it’s proper for young ladies to be hanging around hotel lobbies during all hours of the evening. And secondly, I think that if the guys from Iron Cross want to see you, they can call, and we can arrange some sort of acceptable meeting place.”

“Huh?” Allie looked at Caitlin like she had two heads. “Did my mom tell you to act like this?”

Caitlin just laughed. “No. But she did tell me to keep a special eye on you, Allie, and to call her if you give me any grief.”

Allie groaned. “It figures. Just when I get my mom out of the picture, I get stuck with Caitlin O’Conner, prison warden.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“It’s okay,” I told Caitlin in a quiet voice. “Allie didn’t treat her mom any better.”

“I happen to agree with Caitlin,” Laura said as we went into the elevator.

Beanie leaned against the back wall and
rolled her eyes. “Caitlin’s always been a little old-fashioned, but in the end, we all usually agree with the girl.”

“Gee, it’s so fun being the old ball and chain, the stick-in-the-mud,” Caitlin said as she pushed the button for our floor.

“It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.”

As it turned out, we didn’t hear from the guys last night at all. In fact, we didn’t catch up with them until dinner this evening. But it was a happy reunion. They really do feel like family to us. I think it’s because we have so much in common. We’re basically living parallel lives, and whether we want to share success stories or complaints, we all pretty much understand how the others are feeling.

Well, almost. I’m pretty sure none of the guys from Iron Cross know exactly how I feel when it comes to their leader, Jeremy Baxter. In fact, I’m as surprised as anyone since I’d really tricked myself into believing that I’d gotten a handle on all this during our two-week break at home, and then even a third week this past week. But then I see him—those dark eyes, that serious expression, the way his hands gesture when he speaks—and suddenly all those old feelings come rushing in at me, like a tidal wave. And how do you stop a tidal wave?

Hardly a single day goes by where there’s not something on the schedule. Sometimes it’s only an hour-long commitment to sign CDs at a music store in a mall. Sometimes it’s two concerts in one day. But it’s safe to say we’re all tired. And it’s starting to show.

Allie and Laura got into a fight today. I don’t think I’ve seen those two go at it since the early days when Laura thought Allie was a complete idiot for being interested in Wicca. Well, today Allie would be the first one to agree with her on that account. But they couldn’t agree on where we should go for lunch. I mean, how stupid is that?

“I
want
something junky and greasy,” Allie was practically yelling when I came into the hotel room.

“Well, I don’t,” snapped Laura. “Man, don’t you ever listen to your mom, Allie? Elise was always telling us about the fat content and empty carbs in fast food.”

“Too bad, my mom’s not here now.” Allie flopped down in the chair by the window and pretended to pout.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Allie’s throwing a hissy fit because I don’t want to eat at Burger Boy across the street.”

“It’s not a hissy fit.”

“So why don’t we just go our separate ways today?” I suggested.

“Because Willy wanted to meet us for lunch-all at the same place,” said Allie in a dramatic voice. “And Laura wants to go to the stupid
Garden Terrace
—la-di-dah.”

“And Allie wants to go slumming at Burger Boy.”

“And I want to go use the bathroom.” I shook my head. “You think you guys can sort this out while I’m gone?”

Apparently, they couldn’t. Now they had Beanie and Caitlin involved, and it wasn’t getting any better. Beanie had taken Laura’s side. And Caitlin, even though she doesn’t like fast food, was feeling sorry for Allie. Go figure.

Then the phone rang.

“That’s Willy,” said Allie. “Looks like you’re the tiebreaker, Chloe.”

I picked up the phone and told Willy we’d meet him at the hotel restaurant downstairs. I could hear the groans behind me, but I really didn’t care.

“That’s pretty creative, Chloe,” Allie said in a snitty voice. “It’s not like we don’t eat half our meals in hotel restaurants.”

“Look, Allie. You can get a burger and Laura can
get a salad. You should both be happy. It’s just food, for Pete’s sake!” Then I stomped out. Don’t even ask me why. Maybe I just felt like being dramatic.

I think we all felt a little sheepish when we were seated at the restaurant table and Willy made his little announcement.

“Congratulations, girls. You now have two CDs on the bestsellers chart.”

“No way!” I exploded.

He nodded. “Yep. Omega called this morning.”

“That is so cool,” said Allie.

“Awesome,” said Laura.

Then the two of them did a cute little apology thing, and suddenly we were all friends again.

“Now the downside of this is that you girls will have to work really hard to keep this going,” said Willy. “You need to stay focused and keep yourselves balanced.”

“I’ve been meaning to mention this myself,” said Caitlin. “I know I’m always the wet blanket around here, but I’m thinking each of you needs to be taking better care of yourself.”

“How do we do that?” Laura asked as she took a bite of her salad.

“Like Willy says, that means balance. I’m talking about better routines. Going to bed earlier, getting a little exercise and fresh air, eating right.” She eyed Allie’s cheeseburger.

“Caitlin is right on,” said Willy. “And as your
manager, I’m telling you to take this girl seriously. I don’t know how someone her age got so much common sense, but you can thank the good Lord that He put her with us.”

“I have to agree with Caitlin too,” said Beanie. “The way you girls are living reminds me a little of my first year at college. I thought I could just go and go and keep on going. And before I knew what hit me, I was wiped out by Christmas. You girls have a really demanding schedule, and you’ve got to pace yourselves or you’ll burn out.”

We all sat there kind of stupidly nodding. I think we all know that they’re absolutely right.

“So does this mean no more late night videos?” asked Laura.

Caitlin nodded.

“And no more junk food?” Allie looked crushed.

“Limited junk food,” said Caitlin.

“And no more smoking and drinking and chewing?” I threw in just to be funny.

“That’s right,” said Caitlin. “It’s time to clean up your act.”

“Do we need to sign a contract?” asked Laura.

“I think your verbal agreement is good enough,” said Willy. “After all, this is in your own best interest.”

So we all sat there and solemnly promised to get serious about the program.

“And we need to encourage each other,” said
Caitlin. “If we see someone struggling with a certain area, let’s talk to her and pray for her and really be like the body of Christ.”

I must admit I feel a certain sense of relief that we’ve come to this place. And I’m glad that Caitlin was strong enough to be the “bad guy” and call us to accountability. Because the fact is, we have two and a half months to go before we finish this thing. And I have a feeling we’re going to need every ounce of strength and sanity to do it.

Caitlin surprised me today. “Let’s talk,” she said after we’d all walked back from visiting a church near the hotel.

“Huh?”

“Just you and me, Chloe. Let’s go have lunch together.”

Laura had already announced that she was ordering room service and crashing with an old movie channel for the afternoon. And now it looked as though Beanie and Allie planned to join her, so I agreed.

We go to a Greek restaurant that Caitlin noticed yesterday. I’m not that familiar with Greek food but decide to trust her on this one.

“I want to say something to you,” she says after they bring the first part of our meal out, cheeses and flatbreads all artfully arranged on grape leaves. “But I don’t want to offend you.”

I wave my hand. “Hey, go ahead, take your best shot. Is it bad breath? BO? Smelly feet? I can take it.”

She laughs, then sobers. “Hey, I was trying to be serious.”

I lean forward now. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Okay, I’m probably sticking my nose into where it doesn’t belong, but I think I’ve noticed something—something between you and Jeremy.”

I sigh. “Sheesh, is it that obvious?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I mean, is it that obvious that I’m still trying to get over my crush on him?”

She shakes her head. “No, that’s not exactly what I mean. Oh, sort of. But I’m thinking this guy may have feelings for you too, Chloe.”

I drop my piece of feta cheese and stare at her. “Are you nuts?”

“I don’t know. And now I really do feel kind of stupid for bringing it up, but I just figured that you must’ve been aware of it, and maybe it was making you uncomfortable too?”

“This is too weird, Caitlin. I mean, I think you may be imagining something. Jeremy has a girlfriend, the same one he’s had for about five years. I think they’re going to get married. Kind of like—” I stop myself. I was almost going to say kind of like her and Josh, but then realized I’d probably just irritate her since every time I bring it up she seems a little distant, not to mention grumpy.

“Well, I don’t know anything about a girlfriend, but I’ve seen the way Jeremy looks at you, how he talks to you, and I think something’s up.”

I shake my head. “Really, he thinks of me like a little sister, Caitlin. That is all, I guarantee it.”

“I’m not so sure.”

Now I start feeling this wild mix of emotions, and I almost think I’m going to cry. I’m not even sure why. “Caitlin!” I say loudly enough to get Several pairs of eyes looking our way. Then I lower my voice. “Look, this is just what I DON’T need right now.”

“What?”

“You, of all people, planting seeds in my mind about Jeremy.”

Her hand flies to her mouth now. “Oh, Chloe, I did NOT mean to do that. I realize that you had feelings for him before, but I guess I thought you were over it now. And I felt worried that he might have feelings for you, and he’s so much older, and I’d hate to see either of you getting hurt.”

“Yeah, I can understand that. But don’t you realize I’ve already been hurt …” I feel tears actually filling my eyes now. Stupid tears. I am so stupid. Or maybe I’m just tired.

“I’m so sorry, Chloe. I thought this was over and done with, at least on your end of things. Tell me what’s going on with you now.”

So I tell her the whole story. Not that I had a little schoolgirl crush that simply blew away, but how I feel like I have to deal with it over and over, and how often I pray about the whole thing and think I’m doing better, but then I see Jeremy and it all just seems to unravel again. And
Caitlin, as usual, is a very good listener. And what’s really funny is how I actually feel better afterward.