Authors: Frederick Germaine
The annoying alarm on my cell phone was going off letting me know it was six o’clock in the morning. I lay in the bed on my back facing the ceiling in a blank stare. Without turning, my hand found the device causing the early-morning ruckus and I turned it off. It had been three days since the funeral and nothing really had changed.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” I asked Monica who as lying with her back next to me.
“Yes, Aaron, I’m fine.”
“How did you sleep last night?”
“Not well at all.”
“Maybe you should think about taking those pills your doctor prescribed to help you sleep.”
“You mean those Ambien pills?”
“Yes.”
“No, Aaron, I’m not putting that medication into my body.”
“But you have to try to get some decent sleep sooner or later.”
“Well, I guess it will have to be later.”
Monica finally turned over on her side where she was facing me and placed her arm on my chest. Then she began to slowly rub on my chest while looking at me.
“Do you love me, Aaron?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said a little confused while turning my head away from the ceiling to look at her. “Why do you ask?”
“I just wanted to. There’s no rhyme or reason.”
“I had better get up and start my day,” I said turning my head while looking up at the ceiling once more. “I can stay here with you again today if you want me to.”
“No, honey, you better go to work today. I’ll be alright.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, my mother is coming by later to check on me.”
“Well, that’s good. Maybe you two can go out and do something together.”
“Yeah, that’s what she suggested too.”
Monica then shifted her body away from me and moved out of the bed. She grabbed her robe which rested near the foot of the bed and slowly placed it on.
“So where are you going?” I asked turning towards her again.
“Downstairs to make some breakfast for you,” she replied with her back towards me.
“Monica, don’t worry about that. I can pick up something quick to eat on my way into the office.”
“Okay, Aaron, but I’m going to put on a hot pot of coffee,” she said turning around to face me and closing up her robe. “Do you want some?”
“Sure, I’ll take some.”
My wife disappeared downstairs and my feet found my slippers which were next to the bed. While standing up, I yawned and stretched as the mental anguish over the last few days were finally catching up to me. I slowly walked over to one of the bedroom windows and peeked out the wooden blinds. The streetlights were still on as the sun was beginning to come up. I let out another yawn and then headed to the bathroom for my customary shave and shower.
After forty-five minutes in the bathroom and another fifteen minutes getting dressed, I headed downstairs. Before I did, I passed the twins’ room which hadn’t been touched since their departure. Their twin beds were perfectly made, and even their new soccer ball remained all alone in the middle of the room. I soaked in all the cherished memories for a few more moments then moved on.
In the kitchen, Monica sat at the table sipping on her coffee out of a China cup. Absent was the familiar noise that Brandon and Braylon were known for during this time of the morning. Beside her, were an empty chair and a cup of coffee with steam brewing from it. I took my seat there.
“How did you know I was coming downstairs?” I asked looking at the coffee cup in front of me.
“It’s called a wife’s intuition,” she said after taking another sip of coffee. “Besides, I heard you coming anyway.”
“This coffee is perfect, sweetheart,” I said after I took a sip from my cup. “Two teaspoons of sugar and a hint of cream just the way I like it.”
“You sure you don’t want some sunny-side-up eggs and a few slices of bacon?”
“No, it’s almost seven-thirty and I need to get going,” I said then took another sip from my cup. “So are you sure you’re going to be alright?”
“Yes. My mother called while you were upstairs and she should be over here in about an hour.”
“Okay, but I’ll periodically call you throughout the day while I’m at work.”
I took one final sip from my cup and stood up. Then I leaned over and kissed my wife good-bye.
“I love you, Monica,” I said with a smile.
“I love you too, Aaron,” she replied back.
Driving out the community, I saw Mr. Newman with Jewels like so many times before. I simply blew my horn and gave a friendly wave. As always, Jewels barked and Mr. Newman smiled and waved back.
I decided to take the scenic route to work and traveled down Roswell Road. After driving for a few miles, I decided to make an adjustment in my commute to work. Then I picked up my cell phone and called my secretary, Jane.
“Donaldson and Bradshaw this is Jane speaking,” said the always friendly voice on the other end.
“Good morning, Jane, this is Aaron.”
“Morning, Mr. Malone, it’s not too often you call before you come into work.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just letting you know I’ll be in about an hour late.”
“Is everything okay, Mr. Malone?”
“Yes, I just have to take care of some early-morning business.”
“So how is Mrs. Malone doing?” she asked.
“She is doing better but it just takes time.”
“I can imagine, Mr. Malone. Well, my heart and prayers will continue to go out to the both of you.”
“Thanks so much, Jane. I’ll see you in little bit.”
“Okay, I’ll see you when you get here.”
After I hung up with Jane, I pressed down on the car’s accelerator. Unlike the interstate traffic, Roswell Road was moving pretty smoothly. I didn’t know where I was going but needed to clear my head and sometimes driving for me was the best antidote.
Roswell Road eventually merged into Peachtree Road as I had now made it to the Buckhead district of Atlanta. I noticed the morning traffic was picking up among the early commuters as I traveled south. There was a landmark that was very familiar to me as I continued my drive. It was St. Vincent Catholic Church and well known to many people. It was the sanctuary I frequent every Sunday with my foster family with whom I lived with during my last two years of high school. Rapidly, I made a u-turn in the middle of Peachtree Road and headed back towards the church. Once there, I parked in the almost empty parking lot and decided to walk into the church.
Inside the tranquil view brought back so many memories from the past. It was like I had stepped back into time and nothing had changed with the church. The enormous colored pastel windows were still there along with the rows of red colored padded pews that never seemed to be worn out. I walked forward on the red carpet that was throughout the church and noticed the same picture of the Virgin Mary and also a picture of the crucifix of Jesus. Then I continued until I entered one of the confessionals.
The confessional was cozy yet spacious enough. I realized I hadn’t sat inside one of these in years and felt a sense of guilt about it. After going off to college, it seemed like church was never a priority anymore. A door opened and closed as it was the priest taking a seat in the compartment next to me. There was a small grid that allowed us to speak to one another.
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned,” I said softly somewhat ashamed of my actions I was about to admit to.
“Yes, my son,” said the familiar voice. “What seems to be your transgression?”
I gathered my thoughts before I answered trying to put a name with the familiar voice I had heard so many times before. Then it was as if a light bulb came on and I realized the priest was Father Flanagan. After all these years, he still presided at the church.
“I’m ashamed to say I have broken one of the Ten Commandments, Father.”
“Which one have you broken, my son?”
I took a moment and paused still not sure whether or not to answer. It was awkward for me to tell the priest what I had done.
“I’ve committed adultery, Father.”
“And now you’re here to repent, my son?”
“Yes Father.”
“Do you actually know what it means to repent?” he asked.
“I believe to ask for forgiveness, Father.”
“My son to repent is not a penance for guilt or a quick prayer for forgiveness. Repentance is a complete change of heart which you must utilize in your walk throughout life.”
“I see, Father.”
“What else seems to be troubling you my son?” asked Father Flanagan. “I sense a heavy burden in your voice.”
“My wife and I have recently lost our four-year-old twin boys in a car accident.”
“I’m sorry to hear that from you, my son.”
“I want to know is this the Lord punishing me for my sin?”
“Our father in heaven, Jesus Christ, does not send harm my son. He may allow a crisis in your life as a test of your faith to him and to capture your attention.”
“Yes, Father, but I am having trouble comprehending the death of my sons.”
“One must not question our father in heaven as he knows what is right. Let yourself be healed in Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. Go in peace, my son, as I will continue to pray for you and your wife.”
“Thank you, Father.”
I wiped a few tears that had flowed down my cheeks before I exited the confessional. I guess speaking with Father Flanagan was the release I so desperately needed that had built up inside of me. When I reached the inside of my car, I noticed it was barely past nine o’clock.
The mood in the office was still about business when I walked through the large glass doors at Donaldson and Bradshaw. I straighten my tie as I could see Jane’s desk in the near distance. When I reached her, she stopped me before I could utter a single word out.
“Mr. Malone, its perfect timing to see you,” she said placing the phone from her ear back on the receiver.
“Why do you say that, Jane?”
“That was actually Mr. Bradshaw’s secretary calling for you. Mr. Bradshaw would like to see you in his office right away.”
“Well, you are right Jane. It seems as if my arrival is perfect timing.”
“Would you like for me to call his secretary back and let her know you have arrived?”
“No need for that, Jane. I can just make my way down to Mr. Bradshaw’s office now.”
I kept a straight face as I turned in the direction of Mr. Bradshaw’s office. I didn’t want Jane to get any hint of confusion I was actually experiencing now. As I walked briskly, I knew the revitalization project was still on track and all the previous deadlines had been met. So I was a little anxious to know what the boss could want with me now.
“I’m here to see Mr. Bradshaw,” I said to his secretary as I walked up to her desk.
“Yes, Mr. Malone, he is expecting you,” she said. “Please go ahead right on in.”
She motioned for me to enter and presented a sweet smile as always. Then I proceeded forward through the large doors into his office. When I saw him, he was standing behind his desk talking and gesturing with his hands. He was dressed in one of his tailored suits as usual. His audience included Mr. Black and surprisingly, Sebastian.
“Aaron, please come right on in and join us,” said Mr. Bradshaw stopping his conversation once he noticed me. “Your secretary informed me you would be running a little late into the office this morning. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, sir, everything is fine,” I said as I moved closer and finally stopped in front of his desk. “I just had to take care of some unfinished business I had been avoiding for a while.”
“Very well, Aaron,” he said with a concerned look on his face. “As you can see we are joined by Mr. Black and Sebastian.”
“Yes, I see,” I said turning to both of them. “Good morning, gentlemen.”
“Good morning, Aaron,” said Sebastian eagerly.
Mr. Black, on the other hand, remained silent as always and simply nodded in response. I noticed he had his patented mini briefcase by his side.
“Well, Aaron, please take a seat,” suggested Mr. Bradshaw while he continued to stand.
I took a seat in front of his desk wondering what this meeting was all about. Next to me sat Sebastian and Mr. Black who looked on.
“Aaron, I know you’ve been going through some emotional and tough personal setbacks within the last few days,” began Mr. Bradshaw into his short speech. “And I know it can be very challenging as well. Therefore, in order to help alleviate any stress you may have encountered, I decided to reassign the revitalization project to Sebastian.”
“What?” I said looking a bit confused and shocked.
“It’s only a temporary assignment, Aaron,” said Mr. Bradshaw. “I’m also going to suggest you take a few weeks off, with pay of course, from work.”
“In all due respect, Mr. Bradshaw, I feel I’m fully capable of handling the revitalization project solely by myself as before. And I rather not take any time off.”
“Well, Aaron, I admire your commitment and generous loyalty to the firm but my determination is based solely as a business decision.”
“Sir, never in all my years here has my work fluctuated on any project assigned to me.”
“I am aware of that, Aaron,” continued Mr. Bradshaw. “But never in all your years working for Donaldson and Bradshaw had you to deal with a personal situation like you’re going through now. Believe me, Aaron, this is a decision based on the firm’s best interest. We just have too much at stake to be compromised.”
“Yeah, Aaron, it’s just on a temporary basis,” reiterated Sebastian from his chair. “It’s still your project and I’m here to act as a resource for you.”
“I feel Sebastian is well qualified to keep the project moving forward,” said Mr. Bradshaw. “Like you, he’s a senior designer with years of experience. Although he hasn’t had the major projects you had in the past, I feel he’s quite qualified to keep the revitalization project afloat on an interim basis.”
There was no need to try to fight against what Mr. Bradshaw has already made up in his mind. Maybe some time off would help me clear my mind and couldn’t hurt me. And besides, the extra time off from work would help me comfort Monica.
“I guess you’re right, Mr. Bradshaw,” I said slightly disappointed but tried not to let it show. “The extra time off is probably the remedy I need.”