Exodus of the Xandim (GOLLANCZ S.F.) (68 page)

‘It took me a while to get used to the idea too,’ Aelwen admitted. ‘I thought they would hate me but I couldn’t have been more wrong. They were appreciative and grateful
for the care we showed them, Kelon. Just as they’re appreciative of what we’re doing for them now.’

Suddenly Kelon turned to her and, though still keeping her at arm’s length, put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. ‘I’m appreciative of what you did for me
yesterday, Aelwen. So far as I know, I was the only one of Sharalind’s mortal forces who escaped. Had it not been for you, I would have perished just like Danel and all the rest.’

‘I would never have left you there to die – never.’ Aelwen took a deep breath. ‘Kelon, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I always took you for granted. I
deeply regret that I always ignored your feelings for me because I thought I was in love with a memory from my past. I’m—’

‘Just a minute,’ Kelon interrupted. ‘Did you say you
thought
you were in love?’

Alwen pulled away from him and began to pace. ‘When Taine returned I was overjoyed. I couldn’t believe we’d been reunited after so long. And it was wonderful at first. But as
we began to travel together, I soon began to realise how much he had altered; become harder and more pragmatic. All those long years of living on his wits had left him changed, and while at heart
he was still a kind man and a good one, he could kill, if need be, without the slightest compunction.’

She stopped pacing, and sat down on a tree trunk that had been washed up onto the riverbank by last winter’s floods. ‘He just wasn’t the romantic, idealistic youth I’d
fallen in love with, and made future plans with – and Kelon, once I was exiled from Eliorand, I found that I had changed too. My priorities were different, I enjoyed stability and security.
My life had been completely uprooted, but I wanted somewhere new and safe to transplant myself. I liked my work, and my everyday routines. I could never be a wanderer – and in Taine I saw an
adventurer who would never be content with the kind of life I craved. It was nobody’s fault. We were torn apart and plunged into very different circumstances. We both grew up, and grew
apart.’

Kelon came over and sat beside her. ‘And does Taine know all this? Have you spoken to him?’

‘Not yet – but he knows.’ Aelwen dropped her face into her hands. ‘In his heart he knows as well as I do that we no longer belong together.’ She looked up at Kelon
and smiled. ‘I don’t think he’s realised that his heart lies elsewhere, but it’s only a matter of time. The two of them are more than halfway in love already – they
just haven’t quite worked it out yet.’

‘Which two?’ Bless him, Kelon sounded indignant that Taine might prefer another over herself.

‘Never mind.’ Aelwen smiled. ‘Someone kind, and lovely, and as brave as he is. I hope it works out for them. They both deserve to be happy.’

‘And you?’ Kelon asked quietly. ‘Where does your heart lie now?’

Aelwen reached out and took his hand. ‘Where it has lain for many years – but I was so wrapped up in Taine’s memory that I never saw it. Can you forgive me, Kelon?’

The expression on Kelon’s face was like the sunrise. ‘If you’ll forgive me for being such an ass and running off with those mortals, we’ll call it quits.’

They were in a strange land; they were tired, hurt and homeless and the future was uncertain, but as they embraced in the midst of the Xandim they had loved and tended for so long, Aelwen
thought that she and Kelon had never been happier.

Unheard, unseen, Iriana slid back into the shadows among the willows. She hadn’t meant to overhear the conversation between Aelwen and Kelon – she’d come to
the area where the Xandim were settling down for the night to look for Corisand, but plainly the Windeye was elsewhere.

As she backtracked towards the refugee camp, she replayed what she had overheard with mounting ire and indignation. Poor Taine! After everything he had been through, to be so callously abandoned
by someone he had loved for so long. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. How could Aelwen just cast off such a fine, brave, kind and handsome—

The Wizard stopped dead, her hand pressed to her open mouth. When had her feelings for Taine become so strong? How could she have been so unaware of the secret her heart had been keeping?

Don’t be ridiculous. He calls you little sister. That’s how he sees you. He’s fond of you, it’s true, but no more than that.

It was a relief to feel her common sense take over – even though it cost her a pang of unhappiness that showed every sign of increasing over time. She should forget this nonsense –
but how could she? It was in her head now. Aelwen herself had put it there:

‘I don’t think he’s realised that his heart lies elsewhere, but it’s only a matter of time. The two of them are more than halfway in love already – they just
haven’t worked it out yet.’

Could the Horsemistress have meant Iriana? Taine was already fond of her. With Aelwen out of the picture, maybe . . .

‘Iriana! There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.’

Avithan. Hearing the accusatory edge to his voice, she felt her guts churn with anger.

He had a nerve.

She turned to face him, glowering. ‘What do you want?’

‘It’s true, you
can
see. I heard the rumours, but . . . I’m so pleased for you, Iriana.’

It rang false. Oh, he was smiling, but the expression was plastered on his face, like a mask. She looked into his eyes, and suddenly she could comprehend, all too clearly, his thoughts. He
didn’t want her independent, free, and out of his control. All the years he’d been there, helping her at every turn, even when she didn’t want or need it, always ready to reach
out a hand in case she stumbled or strayed – and it had all just been a way of controlling her.

And the worst of it was, he probably didn’t even realise what he was doing. He had persuaded himself that she needed him and couldn’t manage without him. Indeed, he’d almost
had Iriana convinced until Athina had taken him out of the mundane world, and she’d discovered just how well she could do without him.

Don’t be hard on him. He just lost his mother; so close to the death of his father.

That was her soft heart speaking. Iriana the Nurturer, she thought, with a touch of self-mockery. It didn’t change a thing.

Yesterday he had betrayed her. Yesterday he could have killed her.

‘Iriana? Why don’t you answer me? I was worried about you.’

‘Were you?’ Her tones were glacial, her fists clenched at her sides. ‘And were you worried when you ambushed me with a sleep spell right in the middle of the battle, and very
nearly killed us all?’

The false smile dropped from Avithan’s face. ‘I was protecting you.’

‘Is that what you call it?’ Iriana snapped. ‘Well, you don’t have to
protect
me any longer, Avithan. I’m sorry, so sorry about what happened to your
mother, but it doesn’t alter the fact that you attacked me, as a Wizard and as a person.’

‘
Attacked
you? I was trying to save your life, you stupid girl.’

Iriana took a deep breath, forcing down the anger. ‘
Girl?
I’m no girl, and haven’t been for some time. I’m a woman and a warrior, and it’s time you
accepted that. Only I could defeat the Moldan, along with Corisand, and that’s what I did – no thanks to you.’

‘And I suppose you’ll be throwing that in my face for the rest of our lives together?’

‘We don’t have any lives together, and if—’

Her words were cut short as Avithan grabbed her by the arm. ‘I say we
will
be together. I’m the Archwizard now, and you’ll do as I tell you, or—’

Even as Iriana lifted her hand to strike him down with a spell, a voice interrupted.

‘Is everything all right here?’ Taine stepped out of the shadows, with an expression on his face as cold and dangerous as the sword that he had drawn.

While Avithan was distracted Iriana made a small fireball, and hit him on the hand. With a cry of pain he leapt back, letting go of her, and Taine stepped up beside her. ‘I don’t
think Iriana wants your company right now.’

Avithan’s look was pure venom. ‘And you have no place here, you half-breed with your filthy Phaerie blood.’

‘Avithan!’ Iriana protested.

‘His foul kind killed my father.’

‘Your father welcomed me,’ Taine said. ‘For years I risked my life as his eyes and ears among the Phaerie.’

‘That’s the only reason I’m letting you stay,’ Avithan snarled, ‘but not for ever. I want you gone from here. You may have Wizard blood but you’ll never be
one of us.’

Taine shrugged, but Iriana could see a tightening around his eyes that betrayed his pain. ‘It makes no difference to me. Do you think I’d want to be anywhere near you, after what you
did? I’ve talked to Corisand, and I’m going with the Xandim when they leave. They need someone with woodcraft and survival skills to teach them how to live in their human
forms.’

Feeling her heart lift, Iriana turned to him. ‘You’re going too?’

‘What do you mean by that?’ Avithan demanded.

‘I’m also going to the Wyndveil with Corisand and the rest of the Xandim,’ she said. ‘Corisand is my friend. We’ve been through so much together, I don’t want
to be parted from her just yet. I want to see the story of the Xandim through. They’ll need a lot of help to settle into their new home, and adapt to their human forms, and . . .’

‘And your own people won’t need help? When did you plan to tell
me
about this?’ Avithan’s voice was cold and hard as stone.

‘When I was ready,’ Iriana replied icily. ‘After you attacked me, you forfeited the right to any say in my comings and goings.’

She fought to control her temper. ‘We won’t be leaving right away. Corisand and I talked it over with the Xandim, and they decided to stay here over the winter if you want them, to
help the Wizard refugees get back on their feet, and then leave for the Wyndveil in the spring. When they do, I’m going with them. I’m sorry, but my mind is made up. I’m going
with Corisand.’

‘Well, if you leave you can stay away – for ever,’ Avithan snarled.

Iriana felt the blood drain away from her face. Never to come here again? To her friends, to Zybina and Yinze?

‘You would do
that
to her?’ Taine almost spat out the words.

Avithan folded his arms. ‘It’s her choice.’

‘It certainly is my choice, and I won’t be blackmailed,’ Iriana told him. ‘If you want to keep me exiled, it’s your loss.’ With that she turned and walked
away without a backward look.

‘A word of advice: under the present circumstances, you’ll find it’s not a good idea to be making any more enemies.’ With that, Taine pushed his way past Avithan, who
stormed off towards the encampment, and followed Iriana along the riverside.

When he caught up with her, Iriana’s anger was already abating. She sighed. ‘I hate to quarrel with Avithan like this. He’s been a friend all my life, and he’s lost so
many people that he loved and cared about. But I’m not ready to forgive him for what he did to me – and he’s not ready to give up his controlling ways. I think we need some time
apart so that maybe, in the future, we can be friends again.’

‘Just friends?’ Taine lifted an eyebrow.

‘That’s the way I feel, though I know he feels differently. Before he was wounded and we were separated he kissed me for the first time – but while we were apart I realised how
much time I’d spent fighting his constant attempts to keep me safe, and how much he had undermined my confidence in myself. I suppose I outgrew . . .’

As the words struck a chord in her memory she looked at Taine, suddenly struck by an uneasy thought. ‘How long were
you
lurking in the willows?’ she asked him.

He smiled at her ruefully. ‘Long enough. I came down to look for you, as a matter of fact, but before I found you I heard what Aelwen said.’

‘Taine, I’m so sorry.’ The Wizard put a hand on his arm; all she could offer in the way of comfort. ‘What a horrible way to find out.’

‘One way’s just as good – or bad – as any other.’ He shrugged. ‘It all amounts to the same in the end. Besides, it came as no surprise. There’s been a
distance widening between us ever since we were reunited. We did our best, but Aelwen’s right – we grew up, we grew apart, and we changed. I’m sad and sorry, but it’s the
love we had long ago that I’m regretting, not the feelings we have now.’

He put a companionable arm around her shoulders. ‘Maybe it’s all for the best. Some things are just meant to be. I’ll talk to Aelwen about it later. Unlike some people, I can
let her go without making an ass of myself.’ He smiled at Iriana and took her hand. ‘Come on, little sister. We need to get back to the camp and talk to Corisand and the others. We have
lots to do, and we won’t be the only ones making plans for the future.’

It took Iriana only a heartbeat or two to make up her mind. She had defeated the Lord of the Phaerie and a mad giant from the Elsewhere – surely she had enough courage for what she needed
to do now. Instead of moving with Taine she remained still, so that their linked hands pulled him back to her. Iriana looked searchingly into his eyes. ‘Somehow,’ she said softly,
‘I don’t feel like a little sister any more.’

Taine smiled. ‘Somehow, you don’t feel like one to me, either.’ He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her.

They might not have moved from where they were all night, if Corisand had not come to find them. Tactfully she waited for them to break from their embrace – and waited, and waited. After a
few moments, seeing that they showed no signs of coming up for air anytime soon, she cleared her throat and spoke. ‘Well! I wondered how long it was going to take the two of you to work it
out.’

Their heads came up like two startled deer, and Corisand laughed. ‘I’m so happy for you both.’ She ran to hug them, first one then the other. ‘I hate to interrupt you,
but unfortunately Avithan has called a meeting back at the camp, and he wants everyone to attend.’

The summons to the meeting was going out quickly, passing in mindspeech from one Wizard to another, from the encampment into the settlement. The new Archwizard wanted to
address his people. Most of the Nexians, bundled up in cloaks and coats of warm wool or fur against the cold, dank night, came out to join the newcomers, for they were anxious to hear what he had
to say. All evening, rumours had been flying back and forth that Avithan now planned to make Nexis the major city of the Wizardfolk, and that the independent, libertarian aspects of the settlement
were about to vanish for ever. Though many were angry and resentful at having their home usurped, there were also the greedy majority, who saw nothing but opportunities and potential in such a
move. Meanwhile those Nexians who had loved the little town because of its remote position on the frontier, far away from the city, and revelled in its rough and ready ways, muttered and cursed
quietly as they saw with dismay the claws of so-called civilisation reaching out to snatch at them. Some were already packing, others planning to leave in the spring. Now that the Phaerie had gone
there would be plenty of space in the northern wildwoods where folk could build log cabins and be free to live as they pleased, at one with the wilderness.