Everything I Need (19 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Tristan

The rest of the flight is a blur; I stay passed out most of the way. I wake up at the turbulence when the jet begins to descend. Releasing Sophia from my arms, I watch as she stretches out her limbs lazily, peeking her head up. Her hair is completely matted in her face with just a sliver of a part in front of one of her eyes.

Grinning at her, I reach over and pick up my pants. My body fucking aches from being curled up on this fucking bed. I swing my legs over the side, glancing over my shoulder at Sophia. She winces as she sits up, pushing her hair out of her face.

“You sore?”

“A little, I guess,” she says softly.

“Good,”  I reply coldly as I zip up.

Yeah, I’m being kind of a dick, but I want her sore and thinking of me every second she is alone with that other fucker.

The other guys head out first when we land. I think Sophia is kind of embarrassed and wanted to wait behind in the cabin. I open the door and fucking Caleb is standing by it, shaking his head and chuckling.

“Dude.” He points at me, then waves me off as if he was about to go on but on better judgment, decided not to.

Turning around, I reach out to take hold of Sophia’s hand, grinning at her “just been fucked” appearance. She rolls her eyes, smiling before flipping me off. Looking down at my hand, she gives her head a quick shake.

“Tristan, we’re back in LA. Someone might be out there. I told you that you have to wait.”

My hand balls into a fist, which falls angrily down to my side. Spinning on my heel, I head out of the jet. We have to keep up with fucking appearances, I guess.

Not waiting for her, I slip my shades on as I take the steps down. Thank fuck we don’t have to walk through the damn airport. I see my driver already waiting for me.

Coming up to the side of the vehicle, I take one last glance over my shoulder and see Sophia taking her time walking down the steps. He shades are on her face now, too. Even though she’s wearing them, when she glances over my way, I know she can tell that I’m staring right at her. All I can think about is going over there and taking her back with me.

Caleb, loaded fucker, has two places; one in Malibu and the other in a high rise in the city. By the time we reach his apartment, it’s almost six and dinner is only a couple hours away. With fucking traffic and shit here, we’ll have to leave in an hour.

Reaching his floor, I follow him into his apartment at a distance so I don’t have to hear his bullshit about earlier. You can tell that he barely uses the place. He’s only here when we’re recording and the occasional weekend he stays in LA. I don’t know why he even bothers keeping it anymore, but he’s all into investment and shit.

The furniture in here is kind of fucked up looking, like Beetlejuice style. He takes off to the right, up the stairs that have a balcony overlooking the living room. I make my way left to the room that I usually crash in.

I toss my bag down on the bed and step into the bathroom. The whole north face wall of the apartment has massive windows overlooking LA. Everything else is either white or wood. The back wall that my bed is on is completely made up of old wood. I like it. It reminds me of my cabin back home.

After taking a shower, I pull out the first things I find in my dresser drawers. I slide on a pair of dark jeans, then toss my t-shirt to the side and put on a dark gray, long-sleeved shirt. This is about as dressed up as I’m fucking getting.

Lux booking a private room at Cut. . . I wish he would’ve just done something at his place. Fucker has a big enough pad for it up in Holmby Hills. I finish cleaning myself up, lacing up my boots and running my hands through my hair.

Stepping out of my room, I see Caleb’s already ready, chilling on the couch with a drink in his hand. He raises his glass of scotch at me.

“Hey, driver is gonna be here in twenty. Wanna drink?”

Sounds good right about now. I can’t keep my mind off of Sophia and whether that Ben is there with her right now. I know she told me he’s working and that he’ll meet her at the restaurant, but I can’t see that happening. He’s probably all excited and shit that she’s home. Why not? I fucking would be.

I make myself a drink; I’m not really in a talkative mood. Caleb presses a button on the remote then gets up.

“Gotta grab my wallet.”

He takes off back around the corner of the couch and up the stairs. Nirvana’s “My Girl” is on, and I can’t help taking a long drink of my scotch. With Sophia being away from me right now, this fucking song starts eating at me. I know damn well that I’m going to have to endure her making a show tonight.

“Fuck!”

I bring my drink back up to my lips. Finishing it off, I reach over and set my empty glass down on the marble-topped coffee table. Opening my legs out some, getting comfortable, I rest my head back and fold one arm over my eyes. My chest tightens with every passing minute.

Ben better keep his hands off of her,
is all I can think. With my mouth closed tight, I try to calm myself down. You know, don’t think of the worst, and shit.

“Let’s header,” Caleb calls out.

“Christ,” I mumble, dropping my arm.

Caleb is wearing dark jeans, too, but with a dark button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. My lip curls at him. Aren’t we a fucking pair? We’re gonna be busting in on the Beverly Hills crowd dining there tonight and probably frighten them into leaving. Maybe that’s why Lux booked a private room.

Caleb must be thinking the same exact fucking thing, because his grin goes into an all out smile, pressing his lip ring out.

“Are we gonna stick around for a while or crash back here?” he asks as we head for the door.

“Nah,” I shake my head at him, “Let’s check out the Well.”

Caleb grins.

“Cool.”

Swinging open the door, he looks back me, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You want to see if the Settlement wants to join?”

Meaning, Sophia. I run my tongue over my bottom lip as I scratch at my chin, shrugging my shoulders.

“Whatever, man.”

“Whatever, my ass,” Caleb laughs back at me. “Maybe Bill, or Ben, or whatever his name is, will want to join us for a nightcap, too.”

Fucker!

Sophia

Frankie isn’t at my place when I arrive back home, but I did get a text from him a while ago.

c u at dinner tonight. laid out your outfit already ;) thank me later bitch. since you wouldn’t let me change your place while you were gone . . . I WENT SHOPPING!!! ;P

The text makes me giggle. Without even being here, Frankie has managed to relieve some of the tension I’ve been carrying around since landing. Setting my suitcase beside the door, I head back to my room to see what he’s laid out. I’m not wearing anything too sexy tonight, especially since I have to have the ‘talk’ with Benny later. My stomach drops when I picture how that’s gonna go.

I flip on the light switch and my end table lamp comes to life. I like it dark, so I never use the overhead light. Stepping up to the side of my bed, I’m pleasantly surprised at what Frankie has picked out. It’s a simple, black strapless cocktail dress, and not terribly short. Sitting below it are these purple strappy heels accented with little blue feathers and beadwork curved over the straps. That’s Frankie’s style, adding something to ‘pop’ the outfit, but surprisingly, they look sweet.

Bending over and hooking my finger through one of the straps, I inspect them before glancing over and seeing the box beside the bed. I see that he picked these suckers up at Jimmy Choo. Damn . . . maybe it would’ve been cheaper to let him redecorate.

Braiding my hair on the side, right to the scalp, I throw it all up into a chic ponytail. My makeup is minimal, but I do go a little heavier than usual on the eyeliner.

I twirl in the mirror. I really love this dress, and I fucking love the shoes. I’ve just got to take it easy walking around. I slide my silver destiny ring onto my middle finger.

I’m opting to wear this ring because I figure tonight is going to change a lot of things in my life. My mom sent it to me a while ago. It’s so beautiful, with its thick, paper-wrapped style setting that’s embellished with strips that wrap around and layer over. Keeping everything else bare, I grab the bright purple clutch that matches my shoes and head out.

Frankie is waiting for me outside. When he sees me stepping up to his car, he starts to clap. Giving him a huge smile, I take a little bow before opening the door.

“OMG! I loooove it!” he says excitedly to me as I get in.

“You’ve done good, Frankie,” I smile back at him as I start to fasten my seat belt.

“Of course,” he says back to me, like, ‘duh.’

He puts the car in reverse, flipping his flat-ironed hair over his shoulders. He keeps glancing down at me, smirking.

“Benny’s dick is so going to explode at the sight of you, girl.”

He winks at me and my face falls. Frankie glances back over, quirking an eyebrow. Shit! Recovering, I put on a fake smile and look out the window.

“What?” Frankie asks, but I giggle instead, making it seem like I’m embarrassed at what he just said.

“Oh, girl. Please.” He softly slaps my bare knee, keeping his eyes on the road. Phew. “You haven’t gotten laid in a while. I’m sure you two will be fucking like rabbits when dinner is over.” 

Tucking my lips in my mouth, I press down hard on them with my jaw.
Stare out at the road, don’t look his way.
I’m afraid my eyes will give me away. But apparently, it was my silence that did it for me.

“Holy shit!” he gasps, and I slowly look over at him. He’s just staring at me with his mouth hanging open while still driving, not bothering to look at the damn road. His eyes are so wide, it looks like someone just told him that LA has run out of collagen fillers.

“Frankie.” I point at the road, trying to get him focused, but he just veers off to the right and slams on his brakes. Cars honk behind us.

“Fuck! Frankie!” I yell at him, not because I’m pissed, but because I’m scared. That shit happened fast!

Frankie, all dramatically, flings his seatbelt over his shoulder and turns his upper body my way so he’s giving me his full attention. Pointing at me, the bracelet on his wrist jangles at the force his hand just used.

“I fucking knew it! Don’t lie to me, either! Remember, every time you lie to your gay friend, an angel doesn’t get their wings.”

What? Now it’s my turn to quirk my eyebrow up at him. Crossing my arms, I roll my eyes at him.

“I’m not leaving this fucking spot, okay, until you start talking.”

“Frankie, nothing-”

“Psh, that’s one angel. Try again.”

Getting frustrated now, I speak up louder.

“I’m telling you that nothing-”

“That’s another one!”

He waves his well-manicured hand in my face. Narrowing my eyes at him, I pound my hands on my thighs. I just wanna go. I’ll tell him everything once I’m done with Benny.

“Frankie, please! I’m telling you.”

“Sophia!” His voice goes screechy. “All the angels in Heaven are dropping like flies, now tell me the fucking truth!”

Shit! Shaking my head, I look back out the window.

“Fine,” I say back to him through gritted teeth. “At least get out of here before you get a ticket or someone rear ends us.”

Frankie waits until I peer over at him. My eyes pretty much say it all. He exhales slowly and shifts back in his seat, putting the car in drive again.

“Speak,” he commands softly.

Looking down in my lap, I start twisting my ring around my finger.

“Tristan and I . . .” I shrug my shoulders. “Well, Frankie . . . I’m in love with him.”

Glancing over at him, he’s gone back to staring at me with a wide-open mouth, not even paying attention to the damn road again. Letting out an exasperated laugh, I go on.

“I know, right? Wrong person to give my heart to, huh?”

Frankie’s hand reaches over and squeezes mine.

“No, girl, it’s not.” He gives me a small smile. “Your heart was always with him. It’s about time you figured it out.”

My eyes start to sting as tears well up. Frankie lifts his hand to my face and gently runs his thumb under my eye, catching the tear before it falls.

“Love your makeup. Let’s not ruin it, okay?”

Smiling at him, I lean my face into his palm as he continues driving with one hand.

“Thank you,” I whisper to him.

He moves his hand away from my face and places it back on the wheel.

We drive in silence for rest of the way. Once we pull up to the valet, Frankie touches my leg, halting me as the valet person opens my door.

“Wait!” he whispers as if someone will hear him. “What about Benny?”

“I can’t do it here,” I say, sinking back into the leather seat. “But tonight I’m going to end it with him.”

Frankie nods but his eyes are huge.

“Good luck,” he says to me as I carefully step out of the car, trying to keep my knees together so I don’t have one of those embarrassing pics going around of my geed.

I’ve never eaten here, but I’ve heard it’s a celeb hang out. Thus, the reason why this place is swarming with paparazzi. I get a couple snaps my way but thankfully, I’m not “Hollywood” big, so they pretty much leave me alone.

Frankie hooks his arm around mine and I finally take in his suit. Very nice. It’s light gray with a red silk shirt underneath. His suit jacket is open and judging by the shoes on his feet which are the same color as his suit, I’m guessing he spent a pretty penny on it as well.

We make our way back to the private room which has a sleek bar and wood paneled walls. It’s a little darker back here compared to the open airiness of the front. Stepping through the doors, I realize Frankie’s little stunt has caused us to be the last ones joining the party.

Everyone is seated at a long table and my eyes shoot to Tristan’s briefly before sliding over to Benny’s. He stands instantly and pulls out my chair, his eyes bright and his sandy blond hair styled to perfection. He’s wearing a suit as well, dark with a light, buttoned up shirt. He definitely knows how to fit in out here.

“There she is!” he says happily.

“About fucking time!” Roger bellows through his laughter, nudging Jeff’s shoulder.

Gawd! Lux rolls his eyes and I understand now why he reserved this room. Looking Roger over brings a genuine smile to my face. He’s made no effort to dress up. At least his jeans don’t have holes in them and he has a clean shirt on. That’s pretty good for Roger.

I look around the table at my boys’ faces. Jared looks handsome in a dark shirt and vest, which fit very well against his body. Matt looks like a Hollywood heartthrob in simple black slacks and a button down; his sleeves are rolled up and his dark hair is gelled. Jeff has dressed pretty much the same, only his hair is longer, and he’s sporting his signature hat.

When I reach my chair, Benny embraces me, pulling me into him.

“God, I missed you,” he whispers in my ear.

Holding on to him, I take in his scent one last time. Designer fragrance. I’m not going to miss it, sadly. But I will always cherish it because he is such a good person. I pull back first, but Benny leans in and places his lips on mine, catching me off guard. I should’ve known. We are technically a “couple” and this is how couples greet each other. My skin literally feels the familiar heat on it and as I pull back, Tristan’s eyes are locked on mine, shooting daggers at me. Shit!

I take my seat and Frankie sits across from me. He’s only a couple of seats down from Tristan, who is seated kitty corner to Ben.

“Well, now that everyone is here,” Lux raises his glass, “Let’s make a toast to yet another tour with the best musicians I know.”

He smiles at all of us and I see that Benny has ordered me a gin and tonic. I feel his hand go to my back, rubbing small circles through the delicate material of the dress.

I glance at Tristan. His eyes look so dangerous that I’m scared he’s going to flip at any moment. He gives me a hard glare, then narrows his eyes at where he sees Benny’s hand on my back. His jaw clenches and I see the tendons in his neck flexing. His shirt tightens up at the shoulders as if he were balling his fists underneath the table.

Taking hold of my drink, I look the other way. Lux is talking about something, but I can’t even pay attention. Suddenly, everyone starts laughing, so I plaster on a fake smile. What the hell did he just say? I look over at Frankie, whose eyes are darting back and forth between Tristan and me. He twirls his damn hair and shoots a teasing smile my way. I scowl back him. Just then, Benny starts tapping his glass with his knife as he stands up.

“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?”

The laughter quiets down as all eyes look over at Benny. Well, except for Tristan’s, who is still glaring at me. Biting my lip, I look up at Benny and give him a weak smile. His eyes are warm and he is looking down at me right now in adoration. Clearing his throat, he continues. Is he nervous?

“I’m honored to be here with all of you wonderful people tonight, celebrating with you the beginning of your next tour.” He looks around the table at everyone before meeting my gaze again. “I just want to say that I’m so lucky to have met everyone here and that I’m the luckiest man on the planet to have this beautiful woman as my girl.”

My stomach drops as I peek over at Tristan. He’s starting to become restless, pushing out his chair and leaning back with his arms folded over his chest.

Looking back up at Benny, I will him to get this speech over with so I can order something to eat and get the hell out of here.

“Sophia.” His eyes soften even more as he smiles down at me. “I love you. This past year and a half has been the best days of my life. For a long time now, I’ve tried preparing speeches and planning trips, trying to make this moment perfect. But what I realized is, no matter what I do, or how I plan it, it will always be perfect because of you.”

I glance over at Frankie. I’m starting to feel nervous. All he’s doing is looking back and forth from Ben to me, taking gulps of his Cosmo. I can tell he can feel something’s up, too.

I swallow hard, nodding my head up at him. He slowly kneels in front of me, pulling something out of his inside jacket pocket. I feel sweat forming on my skin and my knee begins to bounce. He opens up the box in front of me.

“Will you marry me?”

Everyone starts clapping. My mouth falls open but nothing comes out. I glance around the table but everyone begins to morph into one another like a fucking Picasso painting. I can’t hear anything . . . everything sounds as if I’m underwater. Trying to breathe, I look straight at Frankie. He’s trying cover his wide-open mouth with his hands. His eyebrows are raised so high that his forehead looks like it’s gonna split.

My eyes dart back to Benny’s face. In a panic, I stand up so quickly that my chair hits the wall behind me. His sweet face drops, but before I can get a long look at it, I bolt out of there.

“Wait!” I hear someone call after me, but I don’t stop. I push my way through the ladies’ room door and make my way into the first stall I see. Bending over the toilet, I start throwing up, with tears burning my cheeks.