Everything But (25 page)

“
Whatcha
think, girl? 
Making a baby.
  We’re still in ovulation week.”

Erin laughed even though her heart wasn’t all the way in it. 
It was just nice to not talk about
her own
problems.  “I bet
Carl’s loving
it.”

“Actually, no.
  I think he’s getting pretty sick of it.”

“Really?
  That’s a first.”

“I think it’s because I’m demanding and…well, he accused me of being ‘clinical’.”

Erin smiled.  “Maybe you should romance him…you know, do what guys have to do
to get us in the mood
.”

Ron looked uncomfortable to Erin as she peeked over at him.  He acted like he wanted to come over and talk but didn’t want to participate in the subject matter.  He was reading the bulletin board.

Jackie laughed. 
“But nice try.
  We were talking about
you
.”

“We’re
done
.”  Jackie raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

Ron took the gap in the conversation as his chance. 
“Morning, ladies.
  Erin, I heard the squad made just as much money as ever, that having Carmichael out of the equation didn’t make much difference.”

“Really?
  I hadn’t heard.”  She hadn’t thought about the goddamned cheerleaders since Saturday night.  She’d been a little distracted.  Next week was cheerleading tryouts and she was frankly happy to not have to deal with the drama this week.  Well, that was, any drama except her own.

“I’m sure you had a lot to do with that.”

“I actually didn’t, Ron.  I had no clue what I was doing.”

He shrugged and sat next to Jackie so he could face Erin.  “You pulled in a lot of cash.  Carmichael never made that much on her own.”  Erin felt the heat rising from her chest up her neck, but she thought it best to say nothing.  He cleared his throat. 
“Too rich for my blood.”

Where was he going with this? 
Best to not say much.
  “It was pretty generous of him to help out his alma mater.”

“Yeah…I’m sure that was his only reason.”

Jackie set her pen down.  “Oh, come on, Ron.  Do you expect Erin to tell you she wasn’t flattered by the gesture
, a hot rock star dropping a serious wad of cash on her
?”

He furrowed his brows.  “Well,
no
, but I think it’s pretty obvious what the guy wanted.”

“And what would
that
be?”  God, Erin loved her best friend.  Jackie just never pulled any punches.

Ron raised his eyebrows.  “I am
not
going to say it.”  He cleared his throat and smoothed out his button-down shirt.  “I…uh…just hope you’re doing all right, Erin.”

She had to admit that was sweet.
  He’d wanted to find a way to talk to her and had stuck his foot in his mouth.  So she nodded and tried to smile.  “Thanks.  I think I am.”  Okay, so that was a lie, but she wasn’t going to tell him about that.  She hadn’t wanted to tell Jackie, either, but
she couldn’t deny her friend.

But sweet wasn’t
gonna
cut it, not when she had Riley in her system.  In fact, she was starting to think no other man would ever stand a chance.  She and Ron had never gotten along well anyway, and it wasn’t in the sexual-tension kind of way.  More than that, though, she didn’t
feel
anything for him.  Riley had somehow ignited something inside her, something fueled by him and him alone.  It was more th
an just his looks, although those
didn’t hurt.  But it was something visceral about him, something intangible inside him that spoke to
her, that
told her she was his.

Even though she really wasn’t and probably never would be.

Even so, she was drawn to Riley
,
and her heart never could belong to anyone else as long as she was in his hold.  And it was with these thoughts in her head that she tried to make it through the day, but it was hard to talk about comma splices and fused sentences when your love life was more fucked up than even the worst essays her students could throw at her.

Chapter Twenty-five

FUCK.  RILEY WAS
stoned out of his mind.  It almost helped with what he consider
ed
pain.

But
he couldn’t get his mind off having a little Jack Daniels.

And a little pussy.
  Some bad pussy, though.  The best way to get over a woman was several women.
 
Yeah…so not a
little
pussy, but a lot.

But there was nothing to get over yet, was there?  He still had a chance.  Erin hadn’t told him to go fuck himself, so he was still in the running.

As
much as he tried to convince himself,
though,
it
did
hurt and he wasn’t sure how to stop throwing his fucking heart out there.

He had a plan, though.  Maybe if he treated her like he treated most women, it would help
him pull his emotions out of it.
  And that’s
exactly
what he intended to do.

* * *

Erin called Riley after school
was over
and asked him to come by around seven.  Her mother had always told her that stupid saying was true:  “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  Well, even though she’d found the saying stupid, she was going to test it tonight
anyway
.
  She had nothing to lose.

She’d never considered herself to be a master chef, but she could cook a few things well.
  She made a mean chicken
piccata
and a decent balsamic vinaigrette dressing.  So she decided on chicken, baked potatoes, and
salad,
and she made an amaretto cheesecake for dessert. 
Then she put on a simple
beige short-sleeved dress with light brown sandals
and pulled her hair up in a ponytail.
  She had a surprise up her sleeve, though.

She also put in a little music.  Based on the music they both seemed to already like, she threw in several CDs she thought Riley might like:  some older Alice in Chains,
Korn
, and more Spawn at the end.  And she had to ask him about the song she’d heard on the radio today, a song called “Still Alive.”  She hadn’t caught the DJ’s introduction, because it was already playing when she got in her car, but she just
knew
it had to be Riley’s new band, because it sounded like his voice
, and she knew his band’s new single was due out this week
.  And it was so different from his stuff with Spawn.  She liked Spawn and would always love all their music, but
if
the song she
’d
heard was from Riley’s new band, she was impressed as hell. 
Totally different but really good stuff.

Riley was late.  That wasn’t like him.  He’d been prompt every time they’d gotten together.  Granted, she hadn’t even known him an entire week, but he hadn’t seemed the irresponsible type.  The food wasn’t getting cold, because she had the chicken on low covered with a lid and the baked potatoes were in the warm oven, but everything was going to get dry and chewy if it stayed in the holding pattern for too long.  And
then
there would be no heart access via stomach routine.

But her doorbell finally rang at ten after.  She hoped everything was okay and she tried not to seem overly eager when she answered the door, but she knew she probably couldn’t help the expression on her face.

When she opened the door, it was Riley all right, but he seemed a little out of it.  He had a bottle of white wine in his hand, unopened, and he handed it to her. 
“Figured we’d have a little
s
uh-em
s
uh-em
with dinner.”

Erin drew in a breath.  “Didn’t you say the other day that you’d been sober for three years?”

He started laughing.  “Good memory.  I’d say now’s a great time to jump off the wagon.”

She took the bottle from him.  “I…uh…don’t think that’s such a great idea.  Besides, I have to work tomorrow, so I know
I
won’t be drinking tonight.”

“Great. 
More for me.”

She stood back to let him in and shut the door.  Something weird was going on, but she wasn’t sure just how to handle it yet.
  She hadn’t known him long enough—maybe this was typical behavior for Riley.
 
As they walked toward the kitchen, he said, “Smells good.”

Erin couldn’t stop hersel
f.  “Is something wrong?” 
S
o much for subtle.

Riley grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up close.  “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

In spite of how confused she felt, being up close to
him
stirred something in her.  She swallowed.  “You’re acting a little…strange.”

He smirked.  “I’m just high.  You’ll get used to it.”

Well,
that
made no sense to her. 
“Marijuana?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“So…you gave up heroin and drinking, but you still smoke pot?”

“Yeah…so?”
  She shrugged but said nothing and pulled away, under the seeming pretense of putting food on the table.
  She lifted the lid off the skillet.
 
“Like you really give a shit.”

She put down the spatula she’d just picked up and turned to face him.  “Seriously, Riley, what’s the problem?”  If getting high made Riley an asshole, she didn’t like him that way.

He frowned and looked down, almost at her knees. 
“
Nothin
’.”
  She sighed.  “Let’s just eat.”  She didn’t know that having dinner was such a good idea, but maybe a little food in his stomach would help even him out.  “I got the munchies real bad.”

She decided to just pretend like everything was normal…for
now
, at least.  “Go ahead and have a seat.  There’s a bowl for salad.”  He took the hint and scooped up some salad out of the big bowl while she loaded
each
plate with a chicken breast
piccata
-style, a baked potato, and steamed broccoli.
  She sat in the chair next to him and grabbed the carafe of ice water to pour some in her glass.  “Do you want some?”

He shrugged.  “Sure.  I’ll save the wine for later.”  They ate in silence for a couple of minutes until Riley said, “Shit.  This is some good stuff, Erin.”

Well, at least she’d scored there.  “Thanks.”  She took a sip of her water and asked, “I don’t suppose the name of your
new single is ‘Still Alive,’ is it?”

A smile spread over his face, the first genuine one she’d seen since he walked through the door this evening. 
“Yeah…why?”

She smiled back.  “I heard it on the radio this afternoon.”

He put down his fork. 
“
Hot damn.
 
What did you think?”

“Awesome.  It kicks ass.  It’s so…different from what you did with Spawn.”

He grabbed his glass and knocked back the rest of his water.  “Good or bad?”

She took a deep breath.  “Well, don’t get me wrong.  I love Spawn, but this stuff…
is
really, uh…mature.
 
Unique.
  Not much like it out there.” 
Shut up, Erin.
  You sound like a fucking
fangirl
.
  “Anyway, I want to hear it a few more times
.”

“Make sure you really like it?”

She laughed.  “No…I
know
I like it, but once
is
just enough to get a taste, you know?”  She looked up from her plate. 
Holy shit.
  What was that look he was giving her?  It looked…ravenous.  That was at least a little closer to the Riley
she’d been getting to know and,
well
,
not
love
but start falling for.

He blinked, his eyelids almost moving in slow motion, and said, “I’m glad you like it.  Just don’t make me listen to it.”

She wrinkled her brow, remembering how he’d come out in her living room and turned off the Spawn CD she’d been playing.  “Why don’t you like to hear your own stuff?”

He shrugged.  “The music’s okay. 
T
his might sound weird, but I really hate hearing myself.”