Authors: Kim Amos
“Then don't,” he said, backing her against the bed. He towered over her, his weight pushing her on the downy comforter, until he was perfectly positioned on top of her. “This can be a real-life fantasy. I'll spend all my days working to make you happy if you'll let me.”
His lips found her neck, nuzzling the tender skin there. His breath was warm as he placed kisses on a delicate spot behind her ear. “You already make me happy,” she murmured, feeling drunk on affection and disbelief. This man loved her. He would always love her. She knew it as surely as she knew her own name.
She reached for the button of his jeans but he pulled away. “No, baby. Not yet. This is all about you for a minute.”
“I want this to be all about us.”
He smiled. “Oh, it is. Believe me, I'm having a wonderful time. But give me a second here.”
She could hardly refuse the touch of his fingers between her legs. She inhaled as he slid them inside her. “You're so wet and beautiful,” he said, his voice filled with wonder. “I could do this all day.”
“Please do,” she begged as he found a rhythm inside her. She arched her back wanting him deeper, harder.
“Like this?” he asked, his other hand gently finding her clit. The walls shimmered in her peripheral vision, the whole world bent as he touched her.
“Don't stop,” she begged. “Oh, Abe, don't stop.”
“I will never stop,” he whispered, his body firm against hers, his lips in her ear, his breath coarse with emotion. “I will always be here for you. I will love you forever. No matter what.”
The words were as glorious as the orgasm that broke her apart. She flew away in pieces that scattered everywhere, like sand grains in the wind. Oh, but Abe called her back home. He was the glue, and she was mended again as her mind slowed its spinning course, as her body relaxed, as she came back to the present and settled into her body once more. She sighed, feeling spent and yet somehow filled up. “That feltâ¦that was⦔ she fumbled for words. “That was life altering.”
He grinned, a light box of happiness. She understood then that her pleasure was his. Her list had never accounted for that, she realized. Her list had only ever been one-sided: it was Casey taking what she could get. In her wildest dreams she never imagined that she'd find a man who was so dedicated to her satisfaction that it would be enough for him, too. Not that she would let it
end
with her pleasure. But how amazing, how wonderful, that it could.
“What about this?” he asked, as if reading her mind. He stripped off his jeans in one swift move. He settled between her legs as heat spread through her anew. “What does this feel like?” he asked as he pressed the tip of his penis against her. She groaned, clawing his back, trying not to crack into pieces all over again. Not yet, anyway. She was desperate to hang on to the present, onto the realness of Abe and what they felt for one another.
“Wait,” she pleaded. He stilled.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. I just want this.” She clutched his body with her thighs and rolled to her left, taking him with her. He let her place him on his back, and settle on top. His rock-hard penis pressed deliciously against her clit.
Against her but not inside her.
Not yet.
He ran his large workman's hands up her sides, across her shoulders, palming her breasts. She threw her head back and he groaned, deep and primitive. “My God, you're like a queen,” he said. “You're so full of power.”
She felt like a queen, somehow. That she could command him to do anything she wanted, and he'd do it. But it was more than that, too. It was knowing she'd do whatever he wanted as well. He could ask anything, and she'd give it freely.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew at that precise moment that her list was no more. The things on it were gone. It had crumpled into a deep, forgotten part of her where she never needed to look at it again.
She understood without a doubt that she would get everything on her listâand so much more. She had wished for five things, but now she would get five thousand things. Perhaps even five
hundred thousand
. Because that was what love did: it went well beyond what you had imagined and gave you an entire ocean, when this whole time you thought you'd only needed a single drop.
“I love you,” she said, reaching for a condom from the bedside table and rolling it on him. She rearranged her body so he slid into her in one perfect move. He threw his head back, his jaw muscles clenched, as she rocked against him.
“Oh, Jesus,” he murmured, “this is too perfect.”
He tilted his hips just slightly and thenâdear God, thenâit
was
too perfect. Casey shuddered and came again with Abe's hands on her hips, coaxing more pleasure out of her with each thrust and swell. She clenched around him.
“Casey.” Her name was on his lips as he came right along with her, their physical connection a knotted, writhing thing that tied them both together. Bound, they ascended their breathtaking summit together and there, Casey imagined, was the whole of their relationship: the past, the present, the future, and all the possibilities therein. The sight of it in her mind's eye was enough to have her choking back tears.
“I've got you,” Abe said, as they relaxed together. She collapsed against his hard chest, hearing his strong heartbeat there, knowing that the steady course of it had already guided her home. “I've got you forever.”
She snuggled against him. It was true. It would always be true. Her heart swelled with the thought. “I've got you, too,” she said, kissing him. “Forever.”
“Then I suppose we should make plans to be together on Christmas.” There was a playful look in his golden-green eyes.
“Christmas? I thought you said you'd been naughty this year.”
“I have, but it turns out I got what I wanted anyway.” She could feel his smile as he kissed her.
“All right. What did you have in mind?”
“How about you come over to my parents' place with me? Stu will be there, and we've vowed not to eat the bland food from the retirement home. You'll get a home-cooked Christmas meal.”
She pulled back to gaze at him. “I didn't realize you cooked.”
“Eh, I'm okay at it. You sort of have to learn how at the firehouse. Stu's even better, though. I promise you won't be disappointed.”
She pretended to think it over, even though there was no place she'd rather be. “Well, seeing as how we're
engaged
, I suppose I should make an appearance.”
Abe pulled her closer. “It would be scandalous if you didn't.”
“The front page of the
Dane County Herald
.”
“On the news board at the Lutheran church, even.”
“Oh no, anything but
that
. I guess I'll have to go, then. But⦔ She readjusted her position so she could look at him fully, could take in every line of his strong jaw, every strand of his dark blond hair, every rise and fall of his chest.
“Yes?”
“I was thinking that maybe Carter could come, too? That is, if his mom's not quite out of rehab and his new foster family seems strangeâ¦maybe he could hang out with us? I suppose we'll seem just as strange but, I don't know, it was just a thought.”
“I love it,” Abe said, kissing her forehead. “It's brilliant. We can at least ask. And there's someone else I was thinking of as well.”
“Who's that?”
“It's this older woman named Viola, who calls the fire and rescue a lot. She lost her husband a few years ago, and she's all alone. I'd like to invite her as well.”
Casey's breath caught at his thoughtfulness. “I think that sounds wonderful.”
Abe raked a hand across his chin. “The only thing I'm wondering about is space. Suddenly that seems like a lot of people crammed into my parents' little retirement apartment.”
“Oh,” said Casey. She could feel her face falling. “Because I was just going to ask if Audrey and Kieran could come, too. So maybe we should have it someplace else?”
“The Elks Club? Now it sounds like half the town will be there.”
Casey laughed. “No. But maybe here? It's already decorated, and I'd love to have a big family Christmas.” She swallowed. “I never had that growing up.”
Abe traced her cheekbone with his thumb. “As long as that sounds right to you, it sounds wonderful to me.”
“Imagine,” she breathed, hardly daring to believe it herself, “a huge group together, with a turkey and carols, and presents.”
“We'll have to kick them out before too long, though,” he said slyly, “so you can getâwhat was it?âyour stocking stuffed repeatedly on Christmas Day.”
Casey laughed. “Oh, I think I'm done with the list. I've got something even better.”
“What's that?”
She touched his cheek. “You.”
He leaned into her hand, and her chest ached with joy. “It seems too wonderful to be real,” she said.
He kissed her tenderly, sweetly. “It's real.
We're
real.”
“And this Christmas will be real.”
“Let me show you how real.”
Abe pulled her into his arms as a quiet snow began to fall behind the gauzy curtains, blanketing everything in sight, making the world new againâCasey's heart included.
Six months later
T
he sun was high and bright as Casey walked up the sidewalk to Robot Lit, humming happily to herself. Above, the summer sky was a bright, cheerful blue, and at her feet, poppies were exploding to life with color and fragrance.
Inside Robot Lit, Rolf was setting out pencils and paper, getting ready for a write-a-thon that afternoon. She waved and chirped good morning, feeling excited about all the kids who would be pouring in the doors in an hour or so, each of them having committed to writing for eight straight hours. She'd promised to help with snacks, stretch breaks, and anything else the kids (or Rolf) needed.
Even better was the fact that Carter was one of the write-a-thon kids. He'd said he was finally ready to try to write about his experience with the crow, only he told her he wanted to call Scotty by name. “I want to write about it like it really happened,” he'd confided in her the week before, when he'd signed up. She'd hugged him, commending him for being brave, and told him she'd be there if he needed anything. She hoped the writingâplus the fact that both Scotty and Bridget had charges filed against them for child neglect and abuse and would be facing trial in the next few weeksâwould bring Carter some closure. He was back with his mom, who'd been sober for almost six months now, and both of them had a light in their eyes that hadn't been there at Christmas. Casey said a small prayer, hoping the light would only continue to get brighter.
As she walked to her office, she briefly wondered where everyone was. Usually Ellie was running around helping Rolf, while Ingrid was leaving chewed pencils and cold cups of coffee everywhere as she printed off copies of grant proposals and called donors.
It was entirely too quiet.
Figuring maybe everyone had made a Rolling Pin run for fresh crullers, she shrugged and pushed open her office door.
And stopped cold.
Inside was a four-foot-tall pine tree decorated for Christmas. A warm glow radiated everywhere from its multicolored lights, while tinsel sparkled amid the needles. “What theâ¦?” she whispered.
As she stepped forward to investigate, her lungs nearly collapsed. Pulling in air was all but impossible. Because her tree was decorated with her missing ornaments.
No way.
It couldn't be.
She reached out and touched the cow wearing reindeer antlers. Nearby was the snow globe with Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. She saw the cardboard-and-tinfoil star that Audrey had made for her, and the ancient candy canes she'd collected in college. How had this happened? Who hadâ?
“Happy belated Christmas.”
She turned around to see Abe standing in her office doorway, leaning against the frame. His face sported a grin brighter than the tree itself. The sight of him made her skin tremble. It always did.
“You did this?” she asked. “How? When? I thought you were at work?”
“I told you I'd try to get your ornaments back if I could. It took me a while, but here they are.”
Casey went to him, twining her arms around his scarred neck. She'd kissed them all, each one a smooth, pale reminder that, come what may, every second, every minute with this man was a gift. Now, her lips found his, and she relished the perfect fit of their parts the way she always did. And just like always, it felt achingly familiar and blazingly new. She shivered slightly.
“Where were they?”
“In a lost-and-found office in Fargo. I got them a couple days ago.”
“And you managed to do all thisâ¦when?”
“I can't divulge my secrets. It's against regulations.”
She was going to argue, but she was silenced when Abe pointed to a wrapped present under the tree. It was the size and shape of a shoebox. “Santa brought you something,” he said.
“Is it footwear?” she asked, arching a brow.
“You'd better find out.”
She knelt next to the tree, inhaling the heady, piney scent. She giggled, thinking about how crazy this wasâbeing in her office in June and unwrapping Christmas gifts. With trembling hands she tore open the shoebox, only to find Styrofoam packing.
“It's empty,” she said, confused. “Did I miss something?”
“Look around. It's there.”
She fished and fumbled and was about to tell Abe to stop kidding around already when her hand bumped against something.
She grabbed for it and came up with a tiny black box. Her heart hammered. A velvet jewelry box.
Abe crossed the room and knelt next to her. She wanted to lean into his massive frame for support. She wasn't sure her hands would ever stop shaking, but somehow she managed to lift the lid to find a sparkling ring blinking back at her.
“Abe,” she whispered. It was the only thing she could think to say.
Gently, he took the ring into his huge, strong hands and held it in front of her. “Casey, I love you and can't imagine my life without you. I wanted to ask you to marry me this coming Christmas, but I just couldn't wait six more months. So I faked Christmas here. In your office. I hope that's okay.”
Tears were sliding down her cheeks. It was okay. It was more than okay.
“So here I am, in the middle of June, asking for your hand. I guess I'm asking for your heart, too, because you have mine. You've had it since the first moment I met you and I never want that to change.” Abe swallowed so hard she could see his throat working. “Casey Tanner, I'm asking. Here and now. Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she whispered, so trembling and overwhelmed she hoped he could hear her. “Yes, I will marry you. Absolutely.”
He slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her until she saw stars. Or maybe it was just the light of the Christmas tree through her closed eyelids. Either way, she didn't care. It was Christmas in June and Abe Cameron loved her and everything was perfect.
“Oh, I have to call Audrey,” she said when they broke apart.
“No worries,” Abe said, winking at her. “She's already here.”
Casey turned and saw Ingrid, Rolf, and every one of her co-workers, as well as all the women from Knots and Bolts, plus little Callie and Abe's parents and brother. All of them were smiling at her. Audrey raced forward and swept her into a hug. “Congrats,” she said, clutching Casey tightly. “I'm so happy for you.”
The locket that Casey had purchased for her sister last Christmas sparkled in the low light. Inside was a picture of them when they were kids. Audrey hardly ever took it off.
Casey had managed to find the right gift after all.
The tears started anew, streaming down Casey's face. Someone handed her a tissue, though she couldn't say who. The entire room burst into applause and cheered until Callie started screaming, red-faced.
“I'd better not bring her to the wedding,” Willa said, patting Callie's back soothingly. “She'll let you have it when the pastor asks those opposed to the union to speak now or forever hold their peace.”
“I'd better stay on my toes, then,” Abe said. “Make sure she has nothing to object to.”
“She won't be able to think of anything,” Casey said, sidling back up to Abe. He put an arm around her, strong and protective. She'd never been happier, never felt more loved. She pictured the fostering paperwork she'd recently printed out, and how she and Abe would fill it out differently now. They'd planned on fostering together, of course, but now it would be as husband and wife. The thought made her smile even bigger. Someone switched on Christmas music and popped champagne.
“You thought of everything,” she whispered as he handed her a glass of the bubbling liquid the color of a holiday star. His jaw flexed.
“I didn't think of anything until I thought of you. My dad was right. Before you, I was an idiot.”
“Before you, I was a jerk.”
“I guess we were meant for each other.”
“I'll drink to that,” Casey said, smiling.
They sipped the cool, fizzing champagne while the lights twinkled and flickered and the holiday music played.
“I have an idea for the honeymoon,” she said suddenly, feeling as effervescent as her drink.
“Already?”
“It's the only place I want to go.”
“Then you'd better tell me so I can start planning it.”
“I think you already have the details worked out. We're going to Freiburg.”
Abe's eyes widened with surprise, then delight. He laughed and kissed her again.
Casey knew then that she'd been given the best gift anyone could giveâand that here, next to the tree, surrounded by friends and family and wrapped in Abe's arms, she had everything she'd ever wanted.