Every Heart Sings (Serenity Island Series) (16 page)

Josh’s mouth twitched. “Anything good?”

Tony raised his eyebrow and his mouth screwed up on one side. “I am not the best judge. She is my aunt. And that’s just . . . ewww.”

He grinned at the boy. “Enough said. I’ll follow him right now. What’s his Twitter handle?”

“Sidewinder. Pretty simple.” Tony opened the guitar case, pulled a rag from the pick compartment, and wiped down the strings and the body of the guitar before picking it up.

Josh opened the Twitter app on his smart phone, thumbed in the search for Sidewinder, then followed the old man. He sat the phone down on the table beside him.

He picked up his own guitar. “Tell me what you think about this.” Josh played what he’d written so far and sang the lyrics.

Tony listened with his head bowed, looking at the floor.

When Josh stopped, Tony looked up. His eyes bright. “I like it. The only problem I had was with the bridge. Play that section again, leading up to the bridge.”

Josh played it again.

“Stop. Right there. It sounds off.”

Josh played it a third time and listened as if he’d never heard it before. And, damned if the kid wasn’t right. A slow smile spread across his face. “You’re right. You’ve got good instincts, kid.”

The phone on the table buzzed. Since twitter was still open, it meant he’d received a new tweet in his stream. Then a series of short spurts indicated there was a flurry of activity.

Josh picked up the phone. Sure enough, Sidewinder had posted a tweet about the new music café. And the whole village was chiming in, excited about the prospect.

Shit.

“You were right. Sidewinder is spreading the news.” Josh considered the grain of polished wood of his acoustic guitar and came to a decision. He picked up his phone and posted a tweet of his own that confirmed the news. “Looks like the music café is a done deal. We’re doing this.”

Tony whooped and jumped up doing a fist pump.

“Fuck!” The profanity came through the open serving window of the kitchen, then the back door slammed a minute later.

“I’m in trouble.”

Tony studied him. “She’ll get over it eventually.”

“I hope so.” Josh rubbed his chest, feeling the ache drill him hard. Only, experience had taught him that some people never got over things. Some issues were never discussed because they were way too painful. And some people, like him and his grandfather, held on to their convictions and their grudges for a long, long time. For some people, eventually never came on its own.

Maybe it was time to force the situation with his grandfather. See what happened. Find out if their
eventually
had arrived yet.

Jordan was trembling by the time she got home. She wasn’t sure if it was anger, fear, pure adrenaline, or some combination of the three that had her so upset. Her hand shook as she grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured herself a glass of cold water. She’d run part of the way. The family homestead was only a few blocks away, not a far distance, but she was so worked up she’d hardly noticed today.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Grace looked up from her magazine. She sat at the kitchen table looking tired, still dressed in her brightly colored scrubs.

Jordan had been so distracted and upset, she hadn’t even noticed her sister. “You coming off a shift? Or heading out to one?”

“Both. I caught three hours of sleep. I’m covering a shift for Holly. Her daughter is sick. Plus, we could use the money.”

Jordan sat down next to her sister. “I told you we’re okay now. I’ve got money in the bank. You don’t need to continue to work yourself to death.”

“Tony’s a senior this year. I’ve got to save some money to be able to pay for his college, even if it is at the local community college. Education is expensive these days. But, I’ll be damned if that child starts in the hole like I did with massive student loan debt.”

“Gracie, I’ve got it covered.”

“No. You don’t. That money is yours. I can’t take it.”

“Yes. You can. It is for you and Tony. I don’t need much. Besides, if it weren’t for me and my wild days, there would have been money for your schooling. It’s my way of making reparations.”

Grace laid her hand over Jordan’s and squeezed. “You know you had nothing to do with all of that. That was Mom and Dad. And the reason you had no money left over from your acting career was because of them. Not because of you.”

“That’s not entirely true. It was a combination of both. And you know it, but you’re trying to be your sweet self again. Knock it off. I’m a big girl.”

“Yeah.” Grace studied her. “And that’s why you’re shaking like a newborn colt at the idea of a music café.”

Jordan jerked her hand out from under her sister’s. “You know? How the hell?”

“It’s all over Twitter.”

“Shit. Already?” She laced her fingers together tightly, her hands resting on the tabletop.

“You know Sidewinder doesn’t waste much time. He’s the biggest gossip in Serenity. Oh, and Ben just pulled back into town, driving a Winnebago. Guess he’s staying at the campground this time.”

“Fuck. That just tops off my sucky day.” Jordan dropped her forehead onto her hands. “This is really going to happen, isn’t it? The music café?”

“Yep. It is.” Grace rubbed Jordan’s back in slow circles. “Deep breaths. It’s going to be okay, honey. You need to learn to manage your past at some point. You’ve had years of reprieve to heal and grow stronger. You’re going to be okay. You’re a different person than you were at sixteen, Jord.”

“I know.” The words came out muffled, as she spoke into the table. She turned her face sideways to look up at her sister. “I’m not sure I can do this.”

“You can do this. I’ve always marveled at your bravery and courage. And when I saw you on stage the other day at the PIC-U performance, I thought, wow, this is what she’s made to do. Didn’t you feel it? This is you. You’re a fabulous actress and director. And you’re hiding here. Wasting the talent God gave you. Why? Because you’re afraid?”

“What if it happens all over again? What if I’m still that bad person on the inside after all these years?”

“You’re not. I promise. I know you better than you know yourself. Remember, I was there back then, too.”

“No, you weren’t with me at my worst. You were saved from that. You got to live here with grandma and grandpa. Safe from the havoc and the disaster that was my life at sixteen.”

“Maybe. But it was no cakewalk being separated from my family at a young age and shuffled off to live with my grandparents.” She stroked Jordan’s hair. “There are days I wonder if maybe you wouldn’t have gone so off track if I’d been around to balance the actions of mom and dad. I don’t know.”

Regret tinged Grace’s words, and Jordan didn’t like hearing that. “No. You couldn’t have known. There’s nothing you could have done.”

“That’s not true. When family loves you, they guide you. They only want the best for you. Like now. The whole village loves you, Jord. They’re your family. And they want what’s best for you. But they also know what Serenity needs. This is good.”

“Even if it sucks Tony into that lifestyle?” A tear trailed down her cheek.

Grace wiped it away with her thumb. “You know I love Tony more than anything else in this life. He’s all I have left of Luke.” Her eyes filled with tears, too. “But, yes, even if the music world—the worst of the music world—sucks him in, this is what’s best for everyone. Him. You. Serenity.”

Jordan sobbed and shook her head. “I’m afraid.”

“I know, honey. I am, too.” Grace put her arms around Jordan and held her while the sobs came, one after the other. “But I’m not going anywhere. This time I’m going to be here for you. Together, we can get through this. I promise you, it’s not going to be as bad as you fear. You’re older. Wiser.”

Jordan’s sobs slowed and shuddered to a halt. She hiccupped. “What about Tony?”

“I’m going to trust that I raised him right. I’m going to love him and support him. And, yes, I’m going to let him pursue his dream, even if it looks scary to me. You know why?”

Jordan shook her head. She didn’t understand at all.

Grace was risking everything by letting Tony get involved in the music industry. It could ruin him. Might even kill him. The business was that nasty, that dissolute.

“Because, just like I know you were made to act, I see something in him. This is what Tony was made to do. He was put on this Earth to perform music. When I hear him, I hear Luke. Only a better, more talented, more driven, and ambitious Luke. This kid can succeed where his father never did. And, God, please, I’m hoping Luke is somewhere up there.” She searched the kitchen ceiling. “Smiling down on his son because he’s proud of Tony and everything I’ve done to raise our boy. But I’ve got to start to let go, otherwise, he’ll run away and never come back to me.”

Jordan squeezed her sister back. “You’re a good mom.”

Grace lifted Jordan’s chin and looked in her eyes. “And you’re a good person, too. A great sister. A caring aunt. A steadfast daughter, just to start with a few of your attributes. Believe it. It’s true. I would never lie to you.” Grace stared her down, her wide gray eyes looking particularly somber. “Only you need to start believing in you, in the good choices you’ve made for the past decade and a half. Jord, you need to start loving yourself, hon. It starts here.” Grace tapped Jordan’s heart. “It begins with you. We all know how good you are—Hell, all of Serenity knows how good you are. Now you need to start believing it.”

And it was at that point that Jordan realized she was running from all the wrong things and for all the wrong reasons. It wasn’t the fame or notoriety she feared most. It was herself. Her choices and her inadequacies. She could never out-run her own self-loathing or the critical voices in her head that sounded a lot like her mother’s voice.

So now, it was up to her to decide what she was going to do next, what she was going to do with this profound new revelation. Would she,
could she
, let go and change? Or would she hold on to her fears and be forever stunted, living in a protective bubble where no one could ever hurt her again, but no one could ever truly love her, either?

She pushed herself up, shoving the chair back. She needed fresh air. Space to think. “I’m going out for a while.”

Grace watched her. “You need me to come along with you?”

Jordan put her hand on her sister’s shoulder and gripped it firmly. “No. I’ll be okay. You go to work. I’m going to visit the cannery.”

“The cannery?” Grace looked startled. “God, why would you ever want to do that? No one has touched that place since Gramps died.”

“I know. I used to dream about turning it into a community theater. Before, you know, before I ran away from acting.”

A smile flirted at the corner of Grace’s mouth. Her eyes lit. “Really? Cool.” She nodded. “It’s a great location.”

“Yes, it is, isn’t it?” The cannery sat right on the waterfront. In the old days, fishing boats would dock right alongside the building and off-load their fish. Her grandfather had made lots of money for the island with that business. It was the mainstay of the community for decades. Until he died. If she ever found the money to renovate it, the history of the building and the setting would make it a popular spot for the islanders and visitors.

“It’s about time I started thinking about my future and the future of this island.” Her mouth trembled a little.

“Oh, honey, you’ve been doing that for years.”

Jordan shook her head in denial. “No, for too many years I’ve been hiding, as your wise son told me this afternoon. And I’m hoping with a project big enough, I might just forget to be afraid enough to hide.”

Grace smiled then, offering Jordan her total, unconditional acceptance. No matter what she decided to do, her sister would love her and support her. And for now, that was enough to get her out the door.

“I’ll see you later.”

Grace stood and brushed a kiss on Jordan’s cheek. “Love you, sweetie. Be careful. That place has got to be a rust bucket.”

Jordan laughed at her. “Always the mother and the nurse.”

“Hey, when you know your calling . . . and embrace it, the world is a much better, easier place to live in. Believe me. Seriously, don’t make me pull out the tetanus shot.”

“Love you, sis. Have a good night at work.”

Jordan grabbed a set of keys in the drawer in the kitchen and left the house. She walked the five blocks to the waterfront cannery, hoping to find a hint of her former dream, or have it dashed all to hell because it would take so much money and work to renovate the old building.

Honestly, she didn’t know which she hoped for more.

And, really, she wouldn’t have much say over it. Either the cannery would be redeemable, or it wouldn’t. But wouldn’t it be nice if she could . . .

She clamped down on the old hopes and dreams that resurrected in full force—like a Frankenstein brought back to life. She needed to be careful. See the building first.

Then, she’d figure it all out.

Chapter 13

Slippery Wet

Josh went for a walk after an hour and a half of working with Tony to teach him the Pentatonic scales. He left Tony to practice while he walked through town. He breathed in the fresh sea air, drawing it deep into his lungs.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually just taken a walk to enjoy the outdoors. How the hell sad was that? God. He needed to live life a little more. Stop and take a deep breath.

For the first time since he’d arrived, he noticed the run-down frayed edge to the town. It wasn’t overt. You couldn’t tell unless you looked hard to see the slightly peeling paint on the wooden Cedar Shake siding of the beachy looking pastel-colored Victorian buildings. He peered in one shop window. The sparsely decorated storefront window and the lack of merchandise a big clue that it lacked for customers.

There was a bakery, who’s siding looked the color of a pale-pink confection, an old general mercantile painted blue, which he’d bet was the local hardware store, candy shop, toy store, and five-and-dime all in one. A prim white building housing the village pharmacy stood on the corner. A sea-green-colored bookstore with big paned windows and bold black lettering announced the presence of The Book Nook across the street.

And down the block he saw the sign for the local library. Across from that stood a big stone Episcopal Church with its slate roof and stone cross reaching high into the sky. Huge rhododendron bushes with blossoming purple flowers created a natural hedge between the churchyard and the street, but a low black wrought iron fence bordered the sidewalk as well to partition off the graveyard behind the church, giving it the proper respect it deserved.

Josh stood in front of the church, remembering the hours and hours they’d spent as a family together inside St. Paul’s in his hometown in Kentucky. Not Orthodox, they’d split their time between St. Paul’s and the synagogue; the resultant tug-of-war between the family’s Jewish and Catholic heritages. Father Murphy’s rich sonorous voice came to him, a reminder about forgiveness. Father Murphy had quoted Anne Lamott, something about drinking poison and waiting for the rat to die. The point the father had made was that holding a grudge, not extending forgiveness, was more poisonous to the one holding the grudge than to the one we were holding out against.

Josh fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed his grandfather’s telephone number. He held his breath. Sidewinder was right. It was time. Time to extend the olive branch. He’d held on to this bitterness for too long. They both had.

“Saul Cohen, here.”

Josh paused, not knowing what to say. Fear gripped him by the throat and his heart hammered at the base of his neck like a small animal trying to get out of a cage. It had been years since he’d heard his grandfather’s rich, steady voice.

“Leave a message. I’ll call you when I can.”

A beep sounded.

The answering machine.

Josh hung up, breathing hard, like a man who’d just surfaced from the ocean depths. Pain squeezed his chest.

Shit.

Maybe he wasn’t ready to talk to his grandfather yet.

He rubbed the back of his neck, then his pounding chest. He took several deep gulps of air. Okay. He could do this. Maybe not at this exact moment. But soon. He decided to keep walking.

Josh rounded the block and saw Jordan crossing the street to stand in front of an old building along the water. Worn faded-gray lettering still identified the huge whitewashed brick building as Drake Fish Cannery.

He stuffed his phone deep in his pocket.

He’d think about the situation with Saul later.

Honestly, he was a little relieved. A distraction was good. And Jordan Drake was the best distraction he could hope for right now. He smiled as he made his way toward her.

She stood in front of the building with her hands propped on her curvy hips. She wore her favorite jean cut-off shorts. Josh loved them. They were so worn, they were almost white in color, and a threadbare spot on her thigh showed a healthy dose of tanned skin through it, making his mouth water to see the rest. Again.

He’d seen her stripped down to her panties and he was anxious to get her naked again, this time, not in a public place, though. He wondered what color she wore today under her clothes. Pink again? Or maybe blue? Or black. His breathing became shallow just thinking about her lingerie.

He didn’t intentionally sneak up on her, but Jordan was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t even hear him approach. He stood behind her and a little to her right. The sea breeze carried her scent into him—an earthy, grounded fragrance. Sage and lavender with a hint of orange. He inhaled deep. Enjoying the moment.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked.

Jordan slammed the flat of her hand onto her chest as she gasped and her whole body startled in a violent little jump. “Don’t do that!”

He took a little involuntary step back, but grabbed her arm to steady her.

She swatted him on the shoulder. “You’re trying to give me heart failure, aren’t you? First the new direction of the café. Now creeping up behind me like that. What the hell? Knock it off.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Everything about you scares me,” she said in almost a whisper. She stared at him with wide, honest eyes. He could almost see to her soul.

He stepped closer and lowered his head so that he could look right into her eyes. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”

She gazed at him with somber eyes and nodded her head minutely. “Yes, I do.” The words came out whispered, raspy.

He touched her chin.

It trembled.

A tear spilled onto her cheek and collided with his thumb where it rested on her jaw near the corner of her mouth.

“Don’t, please.” It’s all he could say. He touched his mouth to hers in a soft, sweet kiss meant to reassure her that he’d never hurt her, because he wouldn’t. Not if his life depended on it. He could also see the fledgling hunger in her to step up to take charge of her life again and he wouldn’t let her hide any longer. Yes, this was going to be hard. She might end up hating him, but he couldn’t let her languish away here living a life handicapped by fear. He pulled back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“For another month.” Her voice sounded wobbly.

He grinned at her. “Plenty of time to work on your fear factor.” He stepped toward her again, intent on getting her hot under his hands.

She backed up. “Oh, no. No. No.” She held up her hand to ward him off. He didn’t follow her. He gave her room to breathe.

“So what’s this?” He pointed to the building.

“The cannery my grandfather owned and ran for decades.”

Josh cocked his head and scrutinized the building. “I’ve driven you back into the fish business?” A smile danced at the corner of his mouth. He knew better, but he wanted to find out where her head was at the moment.

She scowled at his jest. “Like you have that much power. No. I’ve been thinking of renovating this building for years. Now might be the time, since I’ve fully unloaded the café on you and I’m at loose ends.”

“Hmmm. Loose ends, huh?” He tweaked her ponytail. “Can I see the inside of the building?”

“Why?” she asked, wariness clouding her face.

“Come on, Jordan. What can it hurt? I’m curious to see the condition of the inside. Not everyone is out to screw you.” He ran his eyes up and down her delectable curves and the exposed bare skin of her long legs. “Well—Sorry. Bad choice of words. You are a beautiful, desirable woman. Maybe everyone is . . .”

She bit her bottom lip and kept her eyes on the sandy ground.

“Okay, there’s nothing I’d like better than to fuck you,” he drawled, slow, lazy, and filled with pent-up longing.

Her head snapped up and she stared at him, clearly shocked by his candor.

He continued. “But that’s not what I’m talking about right now. What I mean is not everyone is out to hurt you. Not everyone wants to take advantage of you. I just want to get to know you better. Find out about your hopes and dreams. What do you say? Show me around, please?” He extended his hand to her.

She hesitated, searching his face for something.

He held his breath.

She must have found whatever she was looking for, because she shyly extended her hand and slipped it inside of his. Her cool skin made his feel feverish in comparison. Skin to skin. Heat flashed through his body. It would be good between them. Hot. Explosive.
Once-in-a-lifetime
. The last thought shocked him. He shook his head to dislodge the troublesome thought.

Jordan tugged him around the side of the building. “I haven’t been inside in a while. I come here sometimes to think.” She dropped his hand to dig a key out of her pocket and unlock a side door. She stepped into the darkness and hit a light switch, the interior flooded with lights.

Josh stepped through the doors. He whistled low. “This is a great building.” He looked over at Jordan.

She watched him closely. She’d caught the edge of her nail between her teeth and she peered out over the space, her arm crossed her body pushing her breasts higher so that they crested over the edge of the low, rounded neck of her top. “What do you think about a community theater?”

“Here?” He turned to the large, open concrete floor and high metal ceiling and I-beams. “Yeah. I can totally visualize this space as a theater.”

She pointed to the far side. “The stage would be over there.”

“What about the windows?” There were high windows skirting the two adjacent sides and the back, toward the ceiling. “Won’t that make stage performances harder?”

“I like the natural light. I could install blackening shades for daytime performances.”

“That would work.” He did a slow turn. “What historical details would you want to keep?”

“It was a fish cannery.” Jordan scrunched up her nose. “So I’m not wedded to much, but the exterior and the infrastructure. I’d like to keep the industrial feel and the original brickwork where I can.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“This way, the village could begin to generate a little more revenue. Bring in outside performers if they’d like. But we’d also have a bigger venue for the PIC-U program. Maybe do a fundraiser or two. There are families who are struggling with the high-cost of cancer treatments for their kids. And I don’t ever want money to be a consideration for these families. Not if I can help it. They shouldn’t have to play roulette with their kid’s life because they can’t afford the treatment they need to keep them alive.”

“Jordan, I think that’s a great idea. What’s your timeline?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t got one yet. I’m not even sure I could finance the project right now.”

“You have a good start on it with the sale of the café.”

She burrowed her hands in her back pockets and swayed back and forth. “Yeah, but I’m saving a chunk of that for Tony’s college education.”

Josh looked around again. “I’ve done quite a bit of construction in my day.”

She arched an eyebrow at him.

He held up a hand. “No, don’t get me wrong. I’m not offering to do this, but I have a friend who is an architect who might be willing to come give you an estimate of what it would take to build a stage and add seating. Enough to get you up and running before I leave.”

“Why before you leave?”

“Because I’d like to know you’re moving forward before I go.”

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and traced a pattern on the floor with her shoe. She looked at him. “Okay.”

He grinned. “All righty, then.” He pulled his phone free of his pocket and selected a number from his contacts.

Within ten minutes, he’d scheduled his buddy Jack to arrive in two days to take a look at the building and give Jordan an estimate on the renovations. And while he hadn’t cleared it with Jordan, he’d vetted Jack’s schedule. The man was free immediately to start on this theater project. Even if Jordan was only ready for phase one. He just hoped she wouldn’t make him fight her fear every step of the way.

They stepped back into the bright sunlight after being inside the darkened cannery.

Jordan shaded her eyes against the sun.

Josh lowered the sunglasses he’d pushed to the top of his head back to the bridge of his nose. Too bad. She loved his blue eyes with their long lashed fringe. She could totally see why the women fell for this bad-boy rocker. Gah. Josh Nicodemus was deadly as a rock star, however, as a considerate guy with those looks, he was lethal. Shit.

She sucked in a deep breath and looked over at the marina.

Salty had just docked his boat. And he was helping a bedraggled, soaked guy from the boat. His bloated orange life vest hung crooked and his hair hung wet and lank in his face.

“Is that Ben?” she asked Josh.

“Where?” Josh said. “I thought he’d gone home.”

“At the marina.” She shaded her eyes with her hand and pointed up the boardwalk to the boat docks. “Grace said he pulled back into town today driving a camper. Guess he’s staying at the campground.”

“God.” Josh blew out a frustrated breath and turned to look. “Yep, that’s him. Looking like a wet dog, I’d say.”

Ben slumped to the dock.

“Think he’s okay?”

Josh chuckled. “Ben wears a motion-sickness patch when we travel on the band’s bus. I can’t imagine how he’d be on the open ocean.”

“Gets even the most seasoned sailors, at times.” She locked the door and brushed her hands together. “Salty did say he’d try to keep him occupied. I’m sure he’s got it under control.”

Ben threw up on the dock.

“Yikes.” She shook her head. “We’re going to owe Salty.”

“Anything. Anything at all. It’s worth the peace, believe me.”

“You have a difficult relationship with your manager?” Jordan studied Josh, trying to read his face, even though his sunglasses covered his eyes.

He looked off at the sea, arms crossed over his chest. “I wouldn’t call it difficult. Ben tries to mother me. I already have a mother. I don’t need a second one. I need a manager to do what I tell him and let me worry about the creative aspect of my business. Ben’s been around for a long time. He knows a lot, which makes him think he’s the talent sometimes, not the manager. He tries to guide me in directions I’m not interested in going.”