Every Breath You Take (Oasis Book 1) (5 page)

He should have told me he wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship. I told him I loved him and he broke up with me. And the next night he was out with another girl at a bar. Smiling the same smile he used to aim at me. Touching her back, her arm, her cheek. Sharing intimate moments I thought he only wanted with me.

I thought I didn’t need an explanation, but apparently I did.

Leaning my shoulder against the wide pane of glass, I waited while he struggled through the rest of what he wanted to say.

Finn glanced over, eyes piercing. “I didn’t know what to do with how I felt. It’s not a good excuse, I know, but I–it was all so much and so fast–like I had jumped forward in time ten years and I was living my future. The one that was supposed to wait until I was ready.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he straightened and shook his head. “Let me get it all out, please. You’re here and this isn’t the first time I’ve tried to do this. I don’t want to miss my chance again.”

I blinked, and then remembered. He’d called me before. More than once. But after I found out about Oasis, I’d assumed it had something to do with the place. After all, we’d talked all the time about projects and what our plans were for the future. As long as they had nothing to do with love. Finn’s rule, not mine.

“I wasn’t ready for everything we had then,” Finn said quietly. “I was thinking too big–worrying about work and school and getting to where I envisioned I should be. Which didn’t include a relationship at that point in my life. And when you”–he glanced away–“when you told me you loved me.” He swallowed. “I got scared.”

I walked back to my desk, feeling unsteady. Scared. I understood scared. I just didn’t understand why he’d dealt with scared in a way that meant breaking my heart.

Finn returned to his seat across from me, his eyes full on mine. “Not an excuse, I know, but there it is. I’m sorry.”

I held his gaze for a long moment. “Apology accepted.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

He rubbed his jaw. “Good.”

I grabbed my pen again. “Ready to work?”

“Just one more thing,” Finn said.

“What’s that?”

“I want to try again.”

The pen dropped on the pad of paper. “What?”

He reached out, then seemed to think better of it. “I want us. Again. I want what we had before–”

“You can’t have that.”

“Better. I want better than we had before. Charlotte–”

“Mr. Moore. We’re at work. This is a completely inappropriate conversation.”

I said it even as my heart raced out of control. I knew it was stupid, but I had let myself get drawn into his gaze for a moment. I had let myself soften because of the vulnerability in his eyes. In his whole posture. Finn had changed. He had a softer side now, and it was what I’d wished for when we were dating.

But it was too late.

“We’re going to talk about this,” Finn said, voice low.

“We’re in my office. We have a job to do. If you can’t respect that, we can’t work together.”

He clasped his hands together and nodded. I half expected him to stand and say, “Okay, then. We can’t work together.”

But he just reclined in his chair. “Okay, work and work.” Which meant he wasn’t finished, but he’d play by my rules for now. “What did you need to discuss?”

“An assistant.”

“Right. I was thinking Janet from billing because–”

“No, I had a different idea. Tucker.”

Finn’s forehead wrinkled. “Tucker Brooks?”

“Yes. He mentioned he was in between jobs now.”

“I was planning on keeping him on for tech support, and we have a lot more to do on the website. What made you think of him?”

“We ran into each other yesterday. If he’s available, I’d like to speak with him.”

Finn’s jaw shifted. I tried to read what was going on there, but I hadn’t gotten used to this new Finn yet and I had no idea what he was thinking.

After a moment, he stood. “Good. I’ll ask Leslie to get him up here. Let’s start there and then we’ll meet again later once you’ve got that in order.”

He opened the door and strolled from the office. I blew out a breath. I hadn’t expected this morning. I hadn’t expected to get the closure I’d been waiting for these last six years. And I’d gotten it.

But my heart still wouldn’t settle because that wasn’t it for Finn. He wanted a second chance, and I knew from experience, Finn was very good at getting what he wanted.

() () ()

Tucker really was in between projects. He was able to move upstairs two hours after I spoke with him and settle in at the desk outside my office. By the end of the day, it was almost like he’d been there the whole time.

He’d retrieved me a new phone during lunch and returned with a BLT as well since I’d decided to work through the hour. I’d picked at it during the afternoon and got into a rhythm checking in with him about certain topics since he’d been working on Project Oasis for a year longer than I had.

Around five, I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. I stretched my legs under the desk and rolled my shoulders.

My phone buzzed.

I hated that my stomach clenched. That after a year apart from Mark, I was still tense. It was just because of the phone calls last night, that’s all. I’d gotten a new number that only a handful of people knew. Tucker had programmed in the ones I’d need for work and I’d added my mom, sister, and a college friend who I hadn’t seen in weeks.

A short text appeared on the screen. It was from Finn.
Heads up
.

Frowning, I looked up. My office was surrounded with windows as well, glass panes that let me peer into the lobby and see Tucker’s desk off to the side, but I’d closed the blinds. A moment later, Tucker walked in with a large bouquet of flowers.

He smiled. “Looks like a welcome gift.” He set it on the edge of my desk. “You like tulips?”

“They’re my favorite,” I said.

“Someone knows you well, then.”

“Thanks,” I murmured, reaching for the card in the center. “I think I’m going to be another hour or so, but I don’t need you to stay.”

“You sure?”

I grinned at him. “Yeah, just getting caught up. A few more weeks of this and maybe I’ll feel like I’m up-to-date.”

“I’ll help,” he said. “You have my number, too. I’m in Tower Two at Housing so I’m close if you need anything.”

“Good to know. Have a good night if I don’t see you before you leave.”

He nodded and returned to his desk.

I opened the envelope and spotted Finn’s handwriting.
Have dinner with me tonight?

I gritted my teeth. He’d remembered my favorite flowers. And he still wasn’t keeping it professional. Snatching my phone off my desk, I stalked to his office. Leslie smiled at me. I pointed at the open door to Finn’s office.

“Go on in,” she said.

He stood at the window, staring out with his hands in his pockets, stance relaxed. He looked too good. Which made me even angrier.

“You can’t send me flowers at work,” I said.

He turned and smiled, carving a dimple into his right cheek. “It was a welcome gift.”

I glanced to the door and lowered my voice. “‘Have dinner with me tonight?’ That doesn’t sound like a welcome gift. It sounds like an invitation to dinner. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. This is work.”

He walked to me, eyes glittering with amusement. “I’m sorry.”

“You already said that earlier.”

“I meant about the flowers. You’re right. Next time I’ll send them to your apartment. So, how about dinner? You’ve been in that office all day. I know you didn’t leave for lunch.”

I frowned. “That’s none of your business. And no, I won’t go to dinner with you.”

“Why not?”

“I have–plans.”

“What kinds of plans?”

Unpacking. A glass of wine maybe. I might even go over to Paige’s and check in. “Again, it’s not your business.”

“I want it to be my business.”

I sighed. “Finn. Why are you doing this?”

To my surprise, he reached out, fingers brushing my cheek. I was too paralyzed by shock to stop him.

“I want something between us again. I want…” He eased closer, close enough for me to feel the heat of his body. “You.”

I swallowed and stepped back. “I’m not something to be had. Besides, didn’t we already do that?”

“I told you I was sorry. I meant it. You’re not the kind of person to deny second chances, Charlotte. I know you.”

“I’ve changed.”

He returned his hands safely to his pockets. “Your heart’s still the same. Give me a chance.”

“I don’t…” I didn’t know how to do second chances anymore. “This is too much right now.”

“I’ll take it slow,” Finn promised.

I stared at him. How could this really be happening? I might have gone for it before. I probably would have fallen straight into his arms without so much as a thought. I’d loved him that much. But I wasn’t the same Charlotte.

“Is this why you wanted me to come work here?” I asked.

“No. Don’t even get that idea in your head. You’re here because this project belongs to you just as much as it belongs to me. Don’t forget, I did try to reach out to you. More than once. I wanted you here from the beginning because you’re perfect for the job. As for the rest…” He sighed. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

I squeezed my phone tight in my hand, like it was a lifeline to sanity. To answers. To peace. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll consider it. Say I still have a chance.”

“I don’t know,” I repeated, backing to the door. My instincts were kicking in. Whenever I felt uncomfortable, the safest thing to do was run.

“It’s him, right? Your ex?” Finn made a low noise, almost like a growl. “I swear, if he did anything to hurt you–”

“Finn–Mr. Moore–”

“I’m not him.” His lips pressed into a thin line. But he dragged a hand through his hair. “I’m nothing like him and you know it. I can be patient. I’ll show you.”

My back touched the wall by the door. “I have a few more things to get to before I leave for the night.”

“I’ll show you,” he repeated.

“You do that.”

His smiled returned, not quite as cocky as before, and he straightened, shoulders relaxing. “Of course. Have a good night, Charlotte.”

Just like that? It wouldn’t have been that easy with Mark.

“Good night,” I mumbled. I hurried back to my office and closed the door. I might have to get that glass of wine after all.

Chapter Four

The entire next day, Finn didn’t mention anything about the flowers or his intentions. He talked about work when I saw him, discussed the fundraiser–a masquerade ball–and asked for a report by the end of next week on each community.

In fact, he said so little to me, I thought he might be angry. Either way, it gave me a day of peace where I could set aside my thoughts and focus on work.

When I returned to Housing well after six the next day, I stopped in front of my door and felt a flicker of guilt. I hadn’t stopped by Paige’s last night and hadn’t seen her around at all in between.

I walked to her door and knocked. When I heard loud music booming from within, I knocked harder. After a moment, the volume of the music lowered and she appeared at the door.

“Charlotte!” Her smile flashed before she yanked me inside the apartment.

I stumbled in with a laugh, and wrinkled my nose when I smelled something like paint fumes.

“It’s paint,” Paige said with a nod.

Her hair was tossed into a haphazard braid that hung to the middle of her back. A splotch of creamy green paint dried on the shoulder of her tank top.

“Come on,” she said.

The inside of her apartment looked much like mine, a hallway leading to the bedrooms and an open concept kitchen where you could peer into the living room and see out the tall windows. Her view didn’t stretch west, however, it overlooked the rest of the buildings of Oasis and showcased an impressive bank of storm clouds brewing over the city.

“Blue or green?” Paige asked, leading me to the master bedroom.

“You’re painting? I haven’t even had time to unpack everything.”

“I’m just testing colors.” She gestured to the wall with a patch of blue on it. “It’s technically called Seaside, and that one”–she pointed to the wall with green on it–“Lily Pad. Which is ridiculous to say I painted my bedroom Lily Pad, but it’s pretty, right?”

“If my feet weren’t killing me, I’d be able to focus.” I pulled off my heels. “How about I go change and grab a bottle of wine and then come back with a clearer head?”

Paige grinned. “Perfect.”

As I walked from the room, she called, “Have you eaten dinner?”

“No.”

“I’ll order something.”

I left her apartment, thinking Paige knew her way around here pretty well. I was going to have to pick her brain later, see what worked and what didn’t. Get her take on what could be improved in each community. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to other tenants as well. I needed to start using the facilities, too.

Even though my feet protested, I made a tentative plan to go to the gym downstairs tomorrow morning.

When I got to my door, I heard the elevator ding and looked over. Finn exited, smiling when he saw me. His eyes dropped to the heels hanging by my fingertips and then to my bare feet. “I like this look on you. We should change the dress code at work.”

“Mandatory bare feet? Sounds like a health code infraction.”

“Infraction,” he said with a smile. “That you can say that with a straight face and bare feet really turns me on.”

I frowned, which made him smile wider. “Well,” I said, “you being here is an infraction and–”

“It’s after work hours. I’m not being unprofessional.”

“We still work together.”

He scratched his chin. “And we’re both adults.”

And in fact, he looked a lot less professional than he did at work as well. He wasn’t wearing the suit and tie. He had on a pair of dark jeans and a T-shirt. Almost normal. And very much like old times.

I slid my key card into the slot on the door and walked into my apartment. Finn waited in the doorway, one hand propped on the frame.

He grinned. “I won’t come in unless you ask me.”

I sighed. “I’m heading out after I change.” Then I flashed him a smile. “But if you need to talk, you can make an appointment with my assistant.”

“I might do that. Where are you heading? Dinner? Because I could keep you company.”

I walked down the hallway to my room, calling behind me, “You can come in!”

Needing order, I set my shoes in my closet in the same spot I’d retrieved them from this morning and found a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. I tossed them on my bed and returned to the living room, pulling my hair into a ponytail at the same time.

Finn stood at the window, taking in the view again. I wondered how many times a day he did that. Wondered, just a little, what he was thinking when he did it. And how he could look so peaceful, like nothing in the world could touch him.

“I’m not going to dinner,” I told him. “I’m having dinner in at my neighbor’s.”

He turned, eyebrows raised. “New friends already. That’s good. Is this a…female neighbor?”

I laughed. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I could find out pretty easily if I wanted to.”

“You won’t do that,” I told him.

Walking to the kitchen, I ducked into the pantry and grabbed the only bottle of wine I had. I was going to have to make a trip to the store.

“Is there a liquor store in Main? I didn’t–” I broke off when I stepped out of the pantry and Finn was there, blocking my way.

“Why did you say I won’t do that?” he asked. “Find out about your neighbor?”

“Because that’s obsessive and rude, and if you want to get anywhere with me, that’s not the way to do it.”

He smiled. “So you’re giving me a chance?”

“I’m not saying yes, I’m just saying you absolutely won’t have a chance if you pull any kind of shit like that.”

I was through with men like that. I didn’t need them in my life, as friends or otherwise. If I had to work with them, I’d stay professional but that was it.

A loud clap of thunder boomed outside and I jumped, nearly dropping the bottle of wine. Finn reached out and took it from my hand to set it on the counter.

“Why don’t we just keep this safe over here until you’re ready to go,” he said, frowning.

I pressed a hand to my chest, my heart thudding beneath my palm. I tried to laugh it off. Finn was already suspicious and I didn’t need him to get even more so. “Just a little jumpy today.”

“And yesterday.”

I met his eyes. The blue around his irises was so dark, it was almost black. Like staring into a deep pool of water. “It’s nothing. Just stress.”

“I wasn’t lying yesterday when I said I’m here for you. I’m a good listener–even better than you remember.”

“I remember,” I murmured.

This time when his hand came out, I was ready for it. “Finn,” I warned.

He didn’t listen. He cupped my cheek in his palm, brushing his thumb under my eye. “You look tired.”

In that moment, I almost mentioned the phone call and the trouble sleeping. Just to have someone to talk to. Someone I knew would listen. Finn was right, he was a good listener.

He moved in, his scent surrounding me. My eyes closed in response, and I felt the slightest brush against my lips.

“Charlotte,” he murmured.

Thunder growled again. I could do it. I could lose myself here and now. Part of me wanted to. Not just to take away my thoughts and worries, but because I still had feelings for Finn buried deep inside. He made me feel safe, and that’s what I needed most right now.

I opened my eyes, almost stumbling when I stepped back. “No, I can’t.”

He lowered his arm and propped his hand on the lip of the counter, bowing his head. “Dammit, that wasn’t…I didn’t plan that.”

His words made me smile.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“Having to live in the world like the rest of us, where some things don’t go as planned. Sometimes it’s better that way.” Or at least, love was. In my opinion. That’s what made it so amazing and what made it feel so good. It didn’t hit you how you expected it to. Sometimes it even knocked you over, but it didn’t hurt.

Until it was taken away.

“I was thinking dinner and wine and…I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I was going to be smooth. Suave.”

I laughed. “You didn’t do too bad. But it’s not…no, I can’t do this. Besides, I have to get going.”

He hesitated. Lightning flashed outside the window, followed by another peal of thunder. He didn’t look convinced. I almost didn’t want him to be.

“I’m tenacious,” he said quietly.

“I know.”

Then he smiled and backed up. “I look forward to the rest of the week.”

I blinked. He was already turning to the door. “Enjoy your wine!” he called after him. And then he was gone.

Sagging against the counter, I sighed. Maybe I hadn’t thought this all the way through. I figured I’d be able to handle Finn. But that had been on a business level. On a personal level…it wasn’t going so well.

I needed someone to talk to. Paige? God, it had been so long since I’d opened up to anyone about my personal life. Only my friend Christie knew about Mark, and even then I’d left out most of the details. It was safer that way.

The important thing was, we weren’t together anymore. And that was the best possible scenario for me.

Now that I’d also put several hundred miles between us, it was time to start over.

Which meant it was okay to have friends again, and maybe, just maybe, okay to share part of myself.

() () ()

“I want to hire a personal chef to make this for me every day for lunch,” I said. Paige had ordered from the restaurant downstairs and theirs was the best French dip I’d ever tasted. I pointed to her meal. “And then, I’m going to have him–”

“Or her–”

“Or her make me what you’re having for dinner every night.” I leaned back on the couch, folding my hands across my stomach. “And I won’t get fat either because I’ll get up early every day and exercise at the gym downstairs.”

Paige lifted her glass of wine and saluted. “I’ll be there. Every other day, though.”

“Yeah, maybe three times a week.”

She laughed. “Right. Everything in moderation.”

“Speaking of moderation,” I said. “I haven’t had dessert in days. So it’s okay to have some of that chocolate cake you ordered too, right?”

She nodded. “And more wine.”

When I only smiled, she filled my glass again until I shook my head. “Okay, okay. I still have to work tomorrow.”

But it felt good. To bond over something as simple as food and wine, and know I could have more days like this. I could have a life here if things kept going according to plan.

Instead of eating at Paige’s dining table, we’d brought our meals and drinks to the living room and both sat around the coffee table. Paige still wore her tank top with splotches of paint on it, her hair messy in a braid that rested over her shoulder. She had to be close to my age, maybe a few years older. Already it felt like I’d found someone I might be able to confide in.

“Speaking of work,” Paige said, rising and going for the kitchen. She removed the cake from the refrigerator and drew down plates. “What do you do over there in the Business towers? Are the offices nice? Have you met the big boss man yet? I hear he’s dreamy.”

I almost choked on my wine. “Big boss man. You mean…Finnigan Moore?”

“That’s him. I saw him walking outside the daycare once, with an entourage of business suits. He commands a presence, that’s for sure.”

If there was ever an opening to talk about work and my personal life, this was it. I took another encouraging sip of wine and nodded.

“Yeah, I know Finn. We’re actually sort of…working together.”

She walked out of the kitchen with a knife in her hand. It was covered in chocolate icing. “You work with him? Like…in the same office?”

“Yes.”

“Holy shit. How come you didn’t tell me this?”

I laughed. “Because I only met you two days ago and I’ve been stuffing my face with French dip since I got here. And the wine…I was too relaxed to talk about work.”

“I’m not talking about work, I’m talking about Finnigan Moore. As in, dark eyes–blue, right? He was kind of far away, I couldn’t really tell. And dark hair. And suits that make me think he visits the gym a lot more than I do and rarely indulges in chocolate cake. Definite eye candy.”

The combination of her words and the wine made me giggle. I had to give her that. Finn was attractive in an edgy way. He was too rough to look like he really belonged in the world of business suits and fancy dinners and million dollar houses, but too polished to hang out down at our level. Even in college, people had talked about him. Old money, a father who’d built an empire, and his two sons that stood to inherit. Finn’s father and mine had both died during college, within a year of each other, and maybe that was what had bonded us the most in the beginning.

Paige set pieces of cake on two plates. She brought forks with her to the living room and handed me mine with a mischievous grin.