Everneath (35 page)

My house. Hours left.

I
n the morning, Jack left to go pick up Will, and I went to my kitchen and took out a pen and two pieces of paper. My dad and Tommy deserved letters this time. They were the closest thing I had to a real good-bye. In the letters, I tried to explain that I was gone, and that I wasn’t coming back. I tried to express my love. I tried to make it all okay. I tried.

When I was finished, I folded up the letters and placed them under the milk carton. Except for the rare dinner of French toast, the only time my family ever drank milk was at breakfast, so I was pretty sure my dad wouldn’t discover the letters until tomorrow morning at the earliest. If I made it back, I could get them before they were ever read.

Jack was back on my porch within the hour. “Sorry, it took me a little while to find Will.”

“Is he sober?” I asked.

He nodded. “Mostly. Enough to drive his own car. You ready?”

I glanced behind me, toward the empty house and the letters to my family, and then I turned back to Jack. “Yes.”

Jack took my hand and pulled me toward his car. I looked up at him as we walked. The sun was behind his head, burning through his hair, and I had the feeling that the way he looked right then would be the picture in my head forever. “Jack, do me a favor?” I said.

“Anything, Becks.”

“Don’t let go of my hand. And if the Tunnels come for me, don’t let go until the last moment.”

“If the Tunnels come for you, I’ll hold on, and they won’t be able to take you.”

I smiled at the sentiment, even though I knew that no one would be able to hold on.

Jack and I drove toward the condo in a new state of mind. We’d both been stripped of all the evasiveness, all the lies, everything we’d ever kept from each other. Layer by layer, we had given up our defenses and our excuses and our demands for whys and hows, and what was left were two broken beings. Clinging to one last shred of hope. Tethered to each other.

I couldn’t speak as to what occupied Jack’s mind on that drive, but I knew what I was hoping for. That Jack would be able to recover. That he would heal. That those who loved him would soon repair the broken sheathing around his raw soul, and that his memories of me, while tender, wouldn’t define him. I couldn’t tell him this, because then he would know the doubt in my mind, and now wasn’t the time for doubt.

First, I hoped we would succeed in destroying Cole’s guitar. The other things were a silent prayer, kept close to my heart, for just in case.

As we got closer to Cole’s condo, Jack and I went over our plan again. It wasn’t very complex. I would let Cole believe I’d chosen him over the Tunnels, and then when we found the guitar, we’d make a break for it and toss it off the balcony and into the cement courtyard. Or smash it against the floor. But tossing it sounded better, because then nobody would be near enough to fight us.

We didn’t talk about my dad, or Tommy, or Jules. We didn’t talk about failing. We didn’t talk about how the mark was about a finger-width’s distance from my wrist line.

I remembered the bend in the road that would reveal the massive condo on the hillside closest to the resort ski lift. I’d made this drive almost exactly one year ago. That time, there’d been an early spring, and the road was clear. Now it was covered with a couple of inches of packed snow.

Jack parked as close to the door as possible, and we climbed the stairs. Outside the front door, I looked at Jack and he nodded. I knocked. Maxwell opened it, and I shoved my way past him.

“Where’s Cole?” I said. Before he could answer, I raised my voice. “Cole! Get down here.”

“Nik?”

I looked up in the direction the voice came from. Cole was leaning on the second-floor railing that looked over the spacious living room. I couldn’t see his guitar.

I held up my arm. “I’m out of time, Cole.”

“I know. I’d almost given up.” He looked from me to Jack, and his forehead creased with pain for a flash, and then it was gone. Replaced by a calm expression, his eyes suddenly dark. “I hope you didn’t come here to ask for my help. You know I have no power over the balance of the Everneath.” He glanced at Jack. “Sorry, bro. Even with your biceps, we can’t fight the force of nature.”

Jack’s mouth tightened, but he held back his response.

“Cole, look at me,” I said. Cole hesitated for a moment and then swung his gaze back to me, and I met his stare. “I’m going with you.”

He froze. Didn’t move for a full thirty seconds. Maxwell and Gavin appeared from the back room, silently watching.

Cole stood up straight. “I’m not buying it.” He turned around.

“Wait!” Jack called. Cole stopped. “It was my idea.”

Cole turned to face us slowly.

“I convinced her to go with you. She’s going away anyway. Better to rule hell than serve it.”

I stepped forward and raised my arm, showing my wrist. “Cole, please come talk to us.”

He narrowed his eyes, skeptical, and I thought it was over then and there. But then he said, “Be right there.”

He turned back and disappeared down the hall that would lead to the stairs. I looked up at Jack. He whispered, “Let’s hope he brings the guitar.”

But when Cole descended the last flight of stairs, his hands were in his pockets. No guitar strap over his shoulder. I tried not to let even a hint of disappointment show in my face. We had a backup plan.

Cole followed us outside to the balcony of the condo, and we made sure that his back was to the front door. The air outside stirred with a rush of unseasonably warm air. I looked at my wrist. The marks had stopped moving. I pulled my sleeve forward to cover it and stared at Cole’s face. I had to focus extra hard on watching Cole, so my eyes wouldn’t flick one bit when Will made his move.

Will knew exactly what to do. The army had trained him for this. When he appeared in my peripheral vision, behind Cole, he was wearing his army fatigues and camouflage. I fought a smile as he slipped inside the open condo door. He would be in and out before the rest of the band even knew what was happening.

Jack stepped aside, shuffling his feet against the wood to mask any noise, and leaned back against the wall. He looked away as Cole spoke to me.

“What’s this all about, Nik?” Cole said.

“I’m going with you. I don’t want to be in the Tunnels.”

“But you’ll have to Feed.”

“I know. Why are you being like this?” I said. “I thought you’d be happy.”

“Because it seems so unlike you. I’ve never followed someone during the Return, but I know for a fact nobody would choose the Tunnels over the Court. Except you. You’re stalwart in your selflessness, to the point of self-destruction, which is why I’ll ask you again. What are you doing here?” Softer, he added, “You would never come with me.”

Behind him I saw movement from the doorway of his condo. Will was at the threshold, Cole’s guitar in his hand. I grabbed Cole’s arm to stop him from going any farther.

“I didn’t think I would. But there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Jack,” I said. Cole looked at Jack and then back at me. “I’m scared, Cole.”

Cole’s expression immediately softened, and he blinked quickly a few times.

I kept going. “I promised Jack you’d take care of me. That I’d be safe with you.”

“Of course, Nik. I won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again. You’ll be a queen. You’ll be safe. And you’ll live forever.” He reached for my hand.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Will step quietly out the door. He had four feet to go to the railing, where the cement below would ensure the guitar’s destruction. Three feet. Jack shifted his stance and looked back at Cole. But before he did, his eyes flicked for the tiniest second toward Will.

Cole whipped around as Will reached the edge.

“Will! Throw it off!” I screamed.

Will hoisted the instrument over the side of the railing an instant before Cole charged him and tackled him. He went flying back and landed with a thud on the ground, Cole on top of him.

But it was too late. I heard the crunching sound from down below of a guitar exploding on the cement.

I yanked up my sleeve. I didn’t know what was supposed to happen, but the mark was still there. Still frozen at my wrist line.

The wind picked up, twisting my hair into a spiral that lifted off my back.

Cole pushed himself off Will and stood. His eyes cut over to me and he reached into his pocket. “Were you looking for this, Nik?” He took out a tiny triangular piece of plastic. His guitar pick. “My heart. You missed.” He frowned, his eyes sad. “You’d actually kill me?”

I held my breath and put my hand over my wrist, rubbing the skin. Jack stepped in front of me, blocking Cole.

“Becks,” Jack said. He was staring behind me with the most pained expression I’d ever seen. I knew what he saw there.

I had seconds left. Seconds.

Cole raised his voice over the sound of the rushing air. “This is it, Nik. You have nothing, except for one last chance to come with me.” A small trickle of blood escaped the corner of Cole’s mouth and ran down his chin. He wiped it with the back of his hand and looked behind me. “Decide, Nik. It’s coming for you.”

I turned around. A dark mist was forming behind me. At first, it had no distinct shape, but then it started to swirl in the air, forming a giant spiral, the center of which was far away, darker than everything around us. It began to look like the funnel cloud that had taken Meredith.

“No!” Jack growled from beside me. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.”

Cole held out his hand toward me. His voice turned pleading. “Please come with me, Nik. Rule with me.”

“You can’t let it have her,” Jack said to Cole. He lowered his voice. “I know how you feel about her.”

Jack told me he knew what loving me looked like on a person. Cole stared at me with an expression that seemed almost vulnerable. His lips were parted and his mouth was open, and with each breath, his shoulders trembled. His hands were clenched in fists at his sides, as if he were ready to hit someone if it would help. “I can’t feel,” he said, but his words betrayed the obvious emotion painted on his face, as if he had never felt anything so deeply before in his life.

Jack shook his head and looked away, incredulous. “How can you watch it take her?”

Cole didn’t answer right away. His gaze shifted to the Tunnels. “I have no power over it. I tried to make her see.” He shook his head and looked back at me, new fire in his eyes. “It’s not too late, Nikki. It’s not. As long as you’re still here, you can change your mind.” He took a step closer. “Come with me.”

Jack turned to me, and I could see the defeat in his eyes. He took a deep breath. “If it’s better than the Tunnels…”

“What?” I said.

He grabbed my shoulders. “Meredith wanted this chance. She died for it. There’s a whole culture of girls who would give anything for it.”

“Why are you saying this?” I searched his face.

Cole stepped forward. “I know her. She’ll never do it.” Jack shoved Cole hard against the condo wall and then turned to me again. The roar around us seemed to dampen everything except Jack’s voice.

“Because, Becks. I don’t want to see you suffer.” He looked at my wrist. The one with the mark. He raised it to his lips and kissed it. “If it’s better than hell, go with Cole.”

I put my hand on his cheek and urged his face toward mine. “Never. That would mean selling my soul.” I pulled his head toward me so our foreheads were touching. “If there is an afterlife, I want my soul intact. And then maybe I’ll see you there.” I smiled, somehow calm now that I was facing something inevitable. I was getting the good-bye I’d always wanted. Jack’s face was in my hands. He was mine again at last, and it was more than I could’ve hoped for.

I could feel the suction at my back growing stronger. It flicked a few strands of hair around my face. “Jack. You should leave.”

Jack clutched my hand in his. “I told you I wouldn’t let go. We promised Meredith we wouldn’t let anything separate us.” He blinked right then and tilted his head. Something seemed to click for him. “Meredith. She told me to be strong like Orpheus. She said it was his choice … to be a hero.”

“It’s over,” I said. I started to turn toward the Tunnels, but Jack’s hands kept me facing him.

“I love you, Becks.”

“I love you too.”

“Do you remember in Mrs. Stone’s classroom how you said there’s no such thing as redemption?” His voice cracked a little.

I shook my head. “Forget about what I—”

“Do you still believe it?”

“Yes.”

He looked past me. I could feel what he was staring at. The growing tunnel. The suction was so strong that the hood of my jacket was perpendicular with the ground. It was almost ready. Will and Cole watched silently from a few yards away. Cole had the strangest look on his face, unbelieving, as if he were watching something he’d never seen before.

Jack pressed his lips against mine one last time. He pulled back and looked at me, as if he didn’t know what else to say. There wasn’t anything else to say.