Everneath (10 page)

But I didn’t get to try. Too soon, the field disappeared and I was back in my bedroom, acutely aware of how hard my chair felt against my body and how heavy the air was here. It was like coming down from a high.

Cole struggled for breath beside me. He lay down on his back, put his hands over his eyes, and tried to even his breathing. He looked like he’d just crossed the finish line of a marathon.

“Are you okay?” I asked, distracted. I wanted back inside the vision.

“Nothing a little mouth-to-mouth won’t cure,” he said, but he couldn’t muster the energy to laugh at his own joke. “You’re no good for me, Nik,” he said in between gasps.

“What do you mean?”

His breathing slowed a little and he looked up at me. “I can’t say no to you.”

I scoffed. “If that were true,” I said, “you’d find a way to let me stay here. For good.” I knew it was impossible; when you choose to be a Forfeit, you belong to the Everneath, and the pact is as strong as any other force in the universe. Defeating it would be like defying gravity, a power beyond Cole. Maybe I said it to show how weak he really was.

He closed his eyes. “You know I can’t challenge the Shades.”

He was telling the truth. The Shades only cared about the harvesting of energy, and in the Everneath, their word was law.

“The vision … did it work?” Cole asked hesitantly. He breathed easier now, and sat up next to me, watching me for my answer.

“I saw the Fields.”

He waited as if he expected me to go on and on. When I didn’t he said, “And were they as amazing as I told you?”

“Better,” I said. I didn’t continue, because I wasn’t sure of my own strength. If I could press a button right now, here in my room, that would take me straight to the Fields, would I be able to refuse? I didn’t know.

“So are you coming with me?”

“Would I have to drain people?” I reminded myself it always came back to this.

“Why do you get hung up on things that don’t matter?” He grunted in frustration. “Nik, if you come with me, together we could make a run for the throne, and that would mean you wouldn’t have to drain people.”

I raised my eyebrows skeptically.

“Other people would do it for you if you were the queen. That’s the power of the High Court. The queen’s deepest fantasies become reality. She never has to search for her own food.”

“You’re saying slaves would do it for us.”

He nodded. I thought back to the night at the Shop-n-Go, how Maxwell had talked about making offerings to keep the queen and her court fed. How the old man, who may have disappeared that night, was reluctant to go.

“Do you have to do that for your queen? Do you … bring her sacrifices?”

He hesitated and then narrowed his eyes, and I worried I’d said too much, but then he gave me a mischievous grin. “I’d tell you if I could, but I can’t. I mean, I’m physically bound not to tell you. Unless, that is, you say you’ll come with me. Then I can tell you everything.”

I let out a small sigh. I didn’t want him to know I’d seen him at the Shop-n-Go, because I wanted to learn more first.

“Look, Nik. I can’t lose you. We can be partners. With you by my side, and with the band backing us, we could take over. I want you by my side in the High Court.”

“What does that even mean? We’d be … together? Like,
together,
together?”

Cole gave a sly smile. “We’d rule hand in hand. And as far as being
together,
we’d be as together as you’d allow.”

Annoyingly, my cheeks got all warm, and I turned away, frustrated at my reaction. I stood and went over to my desk chair to sit down.

Cole chuckled. He pushed himself off the floor and walked closer to me, and the Shade at my shoulder pulled toward him. I wanted to hit it.

“Stay over there,” I said.

“Why?” He held his hands up, all innocent-like. “Does my nearness affect you? That’s what happens when you spend a century with someone.”

I had to keep him away, so when he’d gotten close enough, I scraped my fingers down the strings of his guitar, the resulting noise loud and disjointed. Anger flashed in his eyes as he jerked it away from me. Finally, a true reaction.

I smiled as if I had discovered some sort of weakness. “Leave me alone, Cole. I may be bound to the Tunnels, but I’m not bound to you anymore. You have no power over me.”

“You have no idea what I can do,” he said.

I leaned in closer and lowered my voice. “I’ve been with you for a hundred years. I know exactly what you can do.”

“Did you know I could still Feed off you?”

Before I could stop him, he grabbed behind my head, pulled me toward him, and kissed me. For a moment, I didn’t fight it. For a moment, I let him steal the deepest layers of my pain. Desperation replaced reason in my head. He seemed surprised that I hadn’t pulled back, and he briefly opened his eyes, searching my face. I didn’t move, and he kissed me again.

The moment became longer. With the touch of his lips, he literally removed my doubt, my guilt, my fears. I felt good for the first time in a long time. Cole could shield me from the pain of this world, and for that moment, I wanted to go with him.

No good-byes. No second chances. No disappointing the people I loved. Or at least I’d be in a place where I didn’t care if I disappointed anyone.

But it wasn’t real. And I’d been down that road before. I knew where it led. With my lips against his, I reached a conclusion I’d been trying to avoid: the easy path in this whole mess would be to go with Cole, and I couldn’t let myself make the easy choice. I had to make the
right
choice.

With all the strength I could muster, I pushed him away from me.

His face was as shocked as mine felt, and his cocky grin had disappeared completely. “Nik… I—”

I held my hand up. “Don’t. That had nothing to do with you.” I forced myself to look him in the eye. I spoke deliberately. “It will never happen again.”

His face grew hard, and he gave me a smile that made him look sinister. “We’ll see about that.” The smile stayed on Cole’s face as he climbed out my window. “One of these days you should sample the emotions floating all around you. If you let me, I can show you how.”

“I’d rather produce my own. I’ll never steal from others.”

“Never say never, Nik. I won’t.” He leaned his head against the window frame. “I’m not giving up on you.” He shoved the window down and disappeared.

My fingers clenched the edge of my desk. His words sounded like a threat.

Mrs. Stone’s classroom. Four months left.

T
he following day, Jack and I were sitting alone in Mrs. Stone’s classroom, working, when Cole made good on his promise. A boy, maybe a year older than me, showed up in the doorway. He was tall enough that with a few more inches, his head could have touched the top of the frame.

Jack looked up from his desk, his pencil halted midword.

“Nik? Is that you?” The boy’s voice wasn’t familiar.

His face wasn’t either. He looked like a typical teenager, with thick black hair that was purposely mussed up. His lanky body leaned against the doorjamb, casually. His ears had several piercings, as did his eyebrows, which framed dark, familiar eyes.

Eyes that didn’t belong here. Eyes that I would know anywhere.

It was Cole. No question. But he had somehow changed his appearance, down to his hair and his skin.

Whatever he’d done, though, he couldn’t change his dark eyes.

“Don’t you remember me?” His lips curled upward. “Neal? From the party?”

I could feel Jack’s gaze from beside me. I narrowed my eyes at Cole and shook my head.

“I’m not surprised, really. You probably don’t remember much from that night,” he said.

Mrs. Stone was out of the classroom. Cole probably timed it that way. I said a silent wish that she would return soon.

“You must have me confused with someone else,” I said in a quiet voice.

“I’m sure I don’t,” Cole said. “Nikki Beckett. Seventeen. Sweet. Great little tattoo on her shoulder that tastes faintly of … charcoal.”

My face flamed red and I could feel the tears behind my eyes, but they didn’t come. What would Jack be thinking? I could hear him tapping his foot beside me.

“Go away,” I whispered.

“That’s not a nice way to treat an old friend. I go to school here now. I’m going to graduate someday, just like you.” He took a few steps forward. “I’m gonna clean myself up. Just like you.”

I could sense Jack shifting in his seat next to me. I bit my lower lip, leaned down, and shoved my books into my backpack.

“You’re not giving up, are you, Nik?” Cole sang out, his voice an eerie melody.

I hoisted my bag over my shoulder, lowered my head, and scrambled to the door. He blocked the exit.

“Sorry, Nik,” he whispered, barely audible. “You forced my hand.”

“Let me go,
Neal,”
I said, using his fake name.

“If only it were that easy.”

“Let her by,” Jack called out from his seat at the back.

Cole set his gaze on Jack, a snide lip curl on his face. I knew that look.

I put my hand on his arm. “Don’t—”

“Quiet, Nik,” Cole cut me off, keeping his piercing gaze on Jack. “Listen, friend. Little Nikki here doesn’t want me to let her go. Trust me. She likes a guy to take charge.”

Jack pushed his chair back, and I knew I had to do something. I ducked my head and threw my weight against Cole’s arm, barreling my way past.

I didn’t stop running until I had reached my little red, rusted Rabbit. Once I was inside, I put my head against the steering wheel and took in some deep breaths as I thought of a harsh fact I didn’t want to face—if Cole was going to follow me everywhere, there was a good chance someone important to me would get hurt.

I shivered at the thought.

My bedroom.

“What was that?” I said, unable to keep my voice lowered. “How did you … change?”

It was later that night. Cole had shifted back to his regular form, blond hair and all. He waved his hand, as if he were swatting a fly. “It’s not a big deal. Sometimes we can use our energy to alter our appearance. It’s a waste, though. I only like to use it on special occasions.”

“And today was a
special occasion?
Making Jack think…” What? I had no idea what he thought about it, but it couldn’t be good.

I turned away from him and put my face in my hands. I wanted to hurt him.

He sat next to me on my bed, and when he spoke again, his voice was gentle. “I had to see what the big deal was. You Returned for this guy, but I have to admit, watching the two of you together… I’m just not seeing it.”

My eyes started to sting, even though I was sure I hadn’t recovered enough emotions to cry. I pulled my knees into my chest and rolled onto my side on the bed. “We’re not together. I only wanted to see him again. Before I go.”

“In that case, I did it for your own good, Nik,” he said. I couldn’t believe anything less right now. “Now that he knows what you’re really like, it’ll be easier to stay away from you. Besides, why would you want to live through pain like that? You’ll lose everything again.”

“What do you care?”

“I can’t explain the need to understand your heart. But I’ve been feeding off it for so long, it’s almost my own. I have to know, because it doesn’t make sense why you would choose to Return.”

“It wouldn’t to you.” I sighed.

“Tell me, Nik. Please.”

I pushed myself into a sitting position, feeling defiant. “You want to know how I could pull off lying to you for one hundred years about forgetting everything? Because I had his face behind my eyelids. And I thought if I could see him, even just for a day, it would be worth the hundred years. One day is all I deserved, and I’ve had so many already. I’ve won. I’ve won!”

He shook his head and looked at me as if I were delusional. As if I didn’t know what winning was all about. Then he put an arm around me and it was almost like he was mourning my life with me. “I don’t understand the things you would give up for mortal relationships.”

“You better hope you never do, Cole.”

“Why?”

“All you know about is the search for the next energy source. Your only relationship is with something you can Feed off. If you ever understood what you were missing…” I shook my head and realized how much I wanted him to understand. Maybe then he would feel, for the first time, real pain.

“Why don’t you help me understand, Nik?” He raised the corner of his mouth in a devilish smirk and tightened his grip around me.

I shook his arm away from my shoulders.

I remembered the first time I’d met Cole. On the other side of the hundred years. Did he know then that I’d end up following him? That I’d allow him to drag me to the Everneath?

February. One month before the Feed.