Ever: The Ever Trilogy, Book One (Volume 1) (26 page)

The kissing resumed, softly at first, his lips and tongue teasing mine in that sexy way of his. His legs stretched out around me, one of them nestling firmly between mine. His hands left my face, and he ran them over my body, slowly and firmly feeling every inch of me.

I was
so
nervous … but so
completely
excited. I was a jumble of emotions. I felt so
ready
to be with Toby, but I was terrified at the same time. What if I did something wrong? What if it hurt? What if I didn’t like it?

Oh geez, what if he doesn’t like it with me?

What if he breaks up with me again?

What about Frankie … ?

To shut off the millions of terrified questions in my head, I spoke. “Toby … I … I’ve never … .”

“Shh. It’s okay, babe.” He smiled a reassuring smile. “I’m perfectly happy doing exactly what we’re doing right now.” To make his point, he kissed me again, pulling me closer.

Then he sat up, leaning back to look at me. My heart kept skipping beat after beat as I watched his eyes roam over me. My arms instinctively moved to tug my shirt down over my belly, and my cheeks flared up bright-red from embarrassment. I’d never had anyone just
look
at me like that before.

“You have absolutely
nothing
to be embarrassed about, Ever.”

He smiled appreciatively and took both my hands in his, kissing the tops of my knuckles one by one before laying my hands back down at my sides. He leaned down and, starting with my shoulder, left a trail of kisses all the way across my collarbone to the other shoulder. He brought his face down further, lifting up the hem of my shirt just enough to expose my belly, and resumed his kisses, dropping them randomly on my rib bones, then my belly button, and then stopping right at the top of my shorts. I shivered with each one, goose bumps covering my body and embarrassment over my exposed stomach making me blush. With the last kiss—the kiss closest to the uncharted area beneath my clothes—I giggled from both nervousness and because it tickled. He ran a finger lightly across my lower belly, tracing the line of my shorts from hip to hip. I silently cursed my stupid aversion to sit-ups.

He brought his face back to mine and kissed me gently once more.

“I’m glad you surprised me.”

I had worried that he would want to push the sex issue, but he just lay down on his side next to me, curling me into him ‘til my back was pressed tightly into the curve of his body. He reached past me and turned off the light on his desk.

“Sweet dreams, love.”

We lay like that for a while. I found comfort in the feel of his body wrapped around mine, and the knowledge of having him back in my life. The past month would need to be discussed, I knew that, but for now, I was happy to leave it alone. Being near him was all I’d wanted for the past month, and there he was.
Finally.
His pillow smelled just like him, and I was overwhelmed with the happiness that being with him brought me. I dozed off in his arms, breathing in the scent of him and listening to his breath near my ear.

When I awoke from my nightmare, Toby was propped up, peering into my face and rubbing the sweat-matted hair away from my eyes. I turned onto my back to look at him, confused and disoriented.

Blood everywhere. So much blood.

Once again, I remembered only all the blood and fear, nothing else carrying with me from the dream but my concern for Frankie’s safety.
Frankie!
My gaze quickly darted around the room, looking for him, and I realized I wasn’t
in
my room.

“Shh, babe. I’m here. It was just a bad dream.”

I was still at Toby’s house. The sky outside his window was a dark purple—the color of early dawn.

“Shoot! What time is it?”

“Almost four.”

I decided I should hurry back to my room before my mom figured out I’d been gone. Toby put his arms around me and nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. His closeness slowly eased me out of my nightmarish world, his body comforting mine.

He held me and comforted me in a way Frankie never could, but it still wasn’t as comforting as seeing Frankie would have been.

“I don’t want you to go,” Toby said, as he left a trail of kisses just underneath my chin from ear to ear.

“So, come with me.”
Oh! Where had that come from?
The look on his face told me it was too late to take the words back. I averted my eyes so Toby could throw on some flannel pajama pants, and we quietly snuck back across the yards and into my room.

As soon as we were inside, I opened my door to listen for any noise coming from the rest of the house. It seemed quiet enough—as it should at that time of morning—so I closed the door and turned back around only to have the life scared out of me when I came face to face with a
very
angry ghost.

Frankie stood directly in between Toby and me, pure disgust clear on his face.

I was completely devastated by the situation and totally confused as to how to explain Frankie to Toby.

Worse than that, how would I explain
Toby
to
Frankie
?

“Shit,” I whispered.

Toby heard me and came to stand next to me, walking
through
Frankie in the process. I realized that Toby couldn’t see Frankie. Somehow, Frankie was invisible to Toby. I didn’t understand it, not even the slightest bit, but that part was irrelevant.

Why Toby couldn’t see Frankie didn’t matter.

Because Frankie could see
Toby
.

The initial shock of seeing Frankie there quickly turned to embarrassment as I realized what he must have thought of me. I had two guys in my room, and I was pretty sure I had just seriously damaged my relationship with one of them.

I suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed, and my heart broke as I watched Frankie disappear from the room, his disgusted expression slowly replaced with one of pain.

“Oh, god.”

“Hey, what’s wrong? Come here.” Toby pulled me over to the bed with him, covering us both with my blankets, then kissed me gently on the forehead. “Are you still upset about your nightmare? It was only a dream, Ev. Why don’t you try to get a little more sleep?”

If he only knew. I wish it had been only a dream.
The nightmare I had already forgotten—as always—but the look on Frankie’s face … the look on Frankie’s face I would
never
forget.

Toby fell right back into a deep sleep, his arms cocooned around me. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that, however, and I lay there in Toby’s arms, listening to his breathing, torn between my feelings for him and my feelings for Frankie.

There was no denying how much I had fallen for Toby and how much I should have been enjoying this time with him—the closeness of his body next to mine, the warmth of his breath on my neck as he slept. I should have been in heaven. It was everything I’d been wishing about for the past month. Toby was back. And he
loved
me.

But it was clear, now, that Frankie loved me too.

Somewhere along the way, Frankie’s feelings had grown to mirror my own, and just because we couldn’t actually
act
upon those feelings didn’t make them any less real or any less painful. I knew that without a doubt. I’d lived it.

I had broken his heart tonight, breaking pieces of my own in the process.

I would never forget the look on his face.

As I lay in Toby’s arms, I watched the clock tick off the minutes through the early morning. 4:13, 4:14, 4:15 … 4:57, 4:58, 4:59 … when I finally woke up, it was 7:54, and I was alone in my bed.

The little sleep I had helped my mind make sense of what happened. I loved Frankie, and probably always would, but no matter what we felt for each other, whether one-sided or mutual, we’d never be together. I sighed and rolled over, wishing Toby was still lying with me.

When the phone on my desk rang, I jumped out of bed.
Who’s calling this early?
I picked it up, said hello, and smiled broadly when I heard who it was.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hey. Where’d you go?”

“I didn’t want to be there when your mom woke up. I tried to wake you, but you were out, so I let you sleep. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Was I snoring?”

“No,” he answered way too quickly and then laughed.

Damn.
I’d for sure been snoring.

“Meet me outside at nine?”

“Sure!” I answered. “Where’re we going?’

“You’ll see.”

We hung up, and I sighed. A long, cheesy movie sigh.

Toby was back in my life. Everything was okay. I chose to move forward with Toby. I pushed everything else aside and hoped that my feelings for Frankie would eventually go away.

I got into the shower, refusing to think about him, but his face kept popping into my mind, breaking my thoughts into little fragments of nothingness that floated around his dejected expression. That expression would haunt me for a very long time.

By the time I was ready to meet Toby, my heart still ached for Frankie, but the concern was slowly being replaced by my excitement.

I was
finally
back together with Toby.

I
checked on my mom a little before nine. She was sound asleep on the couch, still in yesterday’s clothes. She must have fallen asleep there after she’d said goodnight to me. I had a quick pang of worry and contemplated staying to see if she needed me, but in remembering her words from last night, I stopped myself. She had made the decision to snap out of it, so instead of staying with her—and in turn
mothering
her—I left a note with Toby’s cell number, adding that if she needed me, I would come back home right away.

I was relieved not to see Frankie on my way out of the house, not having the slightest clue what I would say to him. I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever, but for the time being, I just wanted to enjoy my day with Toby.

Toby wasn’t outside, but since it was so early on a Saturday morning, I didn’t want to knock on the door in case his dad was still sleeping. I’d hate to get chewed out by
him
first thing in the morning. I walked over to the driveway and leaned against the passenger-side door of the Mustang.

“So. You want to play games, do you?”

At the sound of her voice, I turned around to see Toby’s psycho ex—
Ariadne
—walking out the door of the house. Toby’s house.
What the hell?
She was wearing a very skimpy navy-blue nightgown with ivory lace trim and lavender ribbon accents that I am
sure
would show her panties if even the slightest breeze kicked up.
If she’s wearing any.
Was this seriously what she slept in while visiting her
ex
-boyfriend—and his
dad?

Slut.

I couldn’t help thinking it, but I didn’t allow myself to say it out loud. I do have some restraint.

Instead, I said, “I’m sorry,
what
?”

“You heard me. You saw us together last night,
Ever
. You know I’m
with
Tobias. So if a game is what you’re looking for, consider this your warning: I don’t play well with others.”

My initial reaction was one of hurt and doubt. Then it occurred to me where Toby had been all night.

“You don’t play well with others, huh? That’s a real shocker. Speaking of last night, Ariadne, where
did
Toby go after the party?”

Her mouth smacked shut and she glared at me, her silence being the only answer I needed. I’d struck a nerve.

That’s what I thought. I guess I don’t play well with others either.
I smiled and looked down the street at the approaching figure walking our way.

He carried two huge Starbucks cups, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. I wondered if I’d ever
not
get butterflies when I looked at him.

Ariadne turned her head in the direction I was looking and, following my gaze, noticed Toby coming down the street. He hadn’t noticed her yet, as she was hidden in the shadows of the porch covering.

Lowering her voice so he wouldn’t overhear her, she continued trying to intimidate me. “Look, little girl, you may be his plaything for now, but mark my words: he
will
leave you. And when he does, it will be
my
name on his lips.” She lowered her voice even more, “And by the way, game
on
.”

“Hey babe, sorry I’m late—” He stopped short when he saw her standing outside his front door, and his face went from an expression of pleasure to something dark. ”Ariadne. What are you doing here?”

“Good morning, Tobias.” She spoke with almost a purr and turned her sexy, pouty smile to him. I swear I saw her inch her nightie up to expose more of her long legs.

“I was coming out to get the newspaper”—a quick glance revealed there wasn’t any newspaper in the driveway—”when I saw Ever here. We were just having a friendly chat. Right, hon?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, turning my attention to Toby.