Ever After (10 page)

I was starting to panic now his words were touching me and totally freaking me out all at the same time. I could not comprehend what he meant by “normal people,” what in the heck was going on!

I took his face in my hands. He blinked fast; he was terrified. I took a deep breath.

“William, you must tell me who you are, or what is going on.” I used my soft, calm voice, trying to ease him. I could see he was absolutely on edge here, and I had to help him open up to me somehow.

“You mean
what
I am Corrine.” He looked down, unable to look at me; I didn’t try to make him look into my eyes.

“No Will, you mean
who
you are. You can’t be a
what
, okay, that’s not the way you say it.”

“No… Corrine, you are wrong, that’s the whole problem, and I am a
what
or a thing…I don’t know how you say it.” He seemed frustrated with himself as he looked at me. “I can never exist without you, it would destroy me, but what I am could very well destroy
you
.” He looked up at me now, his stunning blue eyes locked on mine. “Think, Corrine. Think of all the things you have noticed about me, that just aren’t right. I know you have noticed them. I have not been able to hide many things from you since we are together so much; do not lie to yourself either.” I did as he said; my “
William
list
” was again in my thoughts. I sat there silent, not really wanting to do this, and maybe I didn’t really even want to know the truth anyway.

I felt my heart speed up; Will seemed to sense it immediately. He looked at my pulse on my neck without hesitating. Of course, another odd thing I had forgot he did a lot. My neck seemed to be of great interest to him.

“William, you tell me!” I said softly. I still had his face in my hands, his cheeks flushed as my own from the cold and intense emotions going on. “I beg you. If you have ever loved me, if you really still love me right now, tell me the truth please.” I studied him, his eyes never left mine, but his face relaxed slightly. He looked at me as if I was supposed to be saving his life, like if I turned away from him he would disappear or crumple to the ground.

“Corrine.” He sighed, and shook his head his face was tense. “I am a vampire, that is the ‘
what’
that I am. It is the
thing
that makes me different from you and it could destroy us both.” I froze

in shock. Yes, the thought did cross my mind, but vampires were not real, were they? Was one actually kneeling at my feet right now? I could feel my heart racing. One side of me said run like hell, the other side wanted to take him into my arms and tell him it was going to be all right. He was waiting for my reaction now.

“You are afraid of me. I feel you shaking now.”

“No it’s not that I’m okay. I just have to process all this.” I was trying to convince him and myself it was really okay, but it was very difficult. I mean it’s not every day your boyfriend tells you he is a vampire. I mean come on! I replayed in my mind the teasing words Beth, Kara, and I said when we had talked about Twilight and vampires. Never in one million years did I ever think anything like a vampire really existed, it was just insane.

I couldn’t lie to Will or myself. I was really scared now; all this was just too much. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I forced a smile. I could see he was scared. I could see he was waiting for me to run away, but I was too scared to move and afraid to even take a deep breath. I swallowed hard as I stroked his cheek, trying to slow my breathing. I could feel my heart racing in my chest as he looked away from me.

“Are you okay?” His voice was shaking as he placed his hand over mine still on his cheek.

“I’m okay.” I fumbled for words. I knew I needed space and time to think about this all, but I couldn’t bear to hurt him by running away. “Do you want me to take you home?” He looked at me tenderly. “Do you want me to leave?”

“William, I just….” I choked up again. “I’m worried. Are you okay? I mean maybe this whole vampire thing is in your head.” I patted his cheek nervously. “I’ve heard of syndromes where people believe they are things they couldn’t possibly be, it could be all in your head. I’m sure we could find you a counselor to talk to about all this stuff, or maybe even my own therapist at the teen center. She is really great….” He put his finger across my lips gently silencing me mid-sentence.

“Corrine, stop this please.” He dropped his hands sitting back on his heels, still kneeling in front of me in the icy snow. He still held one of my hands tightly. “I was born in 1894, okay… and I’m pretty sure it would be impossible for me to be here sitting at your feet if I was still 100% human.” I gasped at his announcement. I was in total shock now worse shock than before. I started shaking, and I put my hands in my pocket to hide the trembling.

“You… you were born in 1894? Oh my God William!” I took a shuddering deep breath. “But…what…I mean my God Will. How…I did this happen? I just do not understand it all. You are freaking my out!”

“I died in 1912. I mean my human life ended that year. I was barely eighteen years old at the time.”

I didn’t realize I had backed away. A flash of hurt flooded his eyes as I realized what I had done suddenly. My movements to him meant rejection. A cold gust of wind hit me hard, as I stared at the pain filled look on his face.

“I don’t mean to back away Will. It’s just so hard to get a handle on this. It’s blowing my mind.” I tried desperately to relax. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me, or at least I hoped he wouldn’t.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I guess I just…” He sighed, shaking his head. “I wanted to forget the truth, to pretend I was normal, that we had a regular relationship. I spend the majority of my time trying to hide what I am, trying to be normal. It’s a constant battle. I am a danger to you, a real and true danger. I couldn’t let us get any closer until you knew the whole story. I could never hurt you that way; you can go now if you want. I can see it in your eyes. I terrify you.” He looked down at the snow, defeated. “I won’t try to stop you, in fact, you’d probably be better off to go now, before we get any more attached to each other.” I was heartbroken by the tears in his eyes; he was allowing me to go even though it was killing him to do so.

“No, Will. I’m not leaving you. I can deal with this…somehow.”

“Don’t you see Corrine? It’s too dangerous. When we kiss, we touch. I smell your skin and the blood in your veins, it calls me in. It’s not good.” He looks into my eyes now. “I could lose my self- control. I could do something very bad, and not be able to stop.” I knew what he meant. I had seen movies that were crude and horrific about how vampires needed blood to survive. I was a human happy meal sitting here in front of him right now.

“I have spent many years abstaining from taking human lives, but you being so close to me so often is pushing me to the brink, to my breaking point. I’m barely hanging on. I can’t lose you because of what I am. I have some days that are so very difficult for me to keep from…” He looked away in shame. He didn’t need to finish that sentence. I knew what he was saying, and it was not good at all. I felt a deep rip of fear grip my chest. I loved him but I was also terrified by him, a more complicated disaster I could never have imagined.

We sat in silence, both exhausted. The emotions running so high we had no words to speak for a time. Will slowly got up. He was shaking. I thought vampires were always cold. I thought to myself. He seemed to be bothered by the frigid wind. I wanted to ask a million questions but I thought I’d better not. He sat down next to me but was not touching me. I could tell he was afraid to touch me. He put his face in his hands, leaning over, resting his elbows on his knees in sheer exhaustion.

I couldn’t tell you how long we sat there, both freezing, both of us seemingly in shock. William was waiting for me to confirm his worst fear that I was leaving him forever. I was waiting on myself to unlock my brain and try to even think if I could handle this, to accept it all. To accept him, for what he was, or thought he was. I still had doubts, and now I actually hoped he did have a mental delusion of vampirism; it would be much easier to deal with.

“I can drive you home if you want, it’s getting late.” His voice wavered as he spoke. He didn’t look up at me as he always did.

“I guess it is.” That was all I was able to force out of my mouth, and I’d said it in a barely audible whisper. I knew as I stood there at this very point in time, my next decision would affect both our lives forever. I knew my action in the next few minutes would alter all things for me. I never really had a concrete plan set in stone for my future; merely surviving week by week until William came along was the main objective. The plan since he came was to have him in my life and to never let him go.

I now was at a point I would never have imagined. To stay with him would mean to love him and love him completely for all he was, for all he ever had done, and for who he was to become. I couldn’t begin to comprehend how this relationship would work out. I did know vampires didn’t age, and I was getting older just as we sat here. I looked over at him. A tear slid down his cheek, and I could literally feel my heart clench. I was feeling his pain and his fear of my rejection. I knew what that felt like, as I had thought he was rejecting me not but an hour ago.

I knew at that exact second, nothing mattered. I would die for this man, and there was nothing I would not do for him. I knew my love was strong enough to overcome this extreme difference between us. I could deal with the vampire thing, although I really didn’t know the details yet. I just knew I couldn’t handle one day without him in my life. I simply would not allow it to happen.

“Are you ready to go? I am sure you don’t want to be here with me any longer than necessary.” He slowly got up, still refusing to look into my eyes. He quickly wiped the tears off his cheek. I knew he was hoping I didn’t see them.

“No. I’m not going to go William.” He looked up at me suddenly, his eyes wide in shock.

“What?” he gasped, sitting back down hard. Snow swished out from the bench as the icy wind picked up again.

“I love you William, for who you are.” I scooted closer to him, pulling his shaking hand from his coat pocket, and placing it into mine gently. “You are all I ever need or want in my life. I do not care about anything you did in your past, no matter how bad. I have loved you since the first time you looked into my eyes by the river. I have been yours since that very day. I will not abandon you because you are different. I don’t want to hear anything more about why we cannot work through this, whatever it takes. I will not lose you. You are my life William and you are my world.” I looked into his eyes, locking them with mine, my strong steady gaze further proving my fear of him was indeed gone, only my love remained. I could see the relief wash over his beautiful face. He leaned over hugging me, burying his face into my long wavy hair as my hat slipped off.

“Oh Corrine, thank you.” He pulled me tighter to his chest. “I don’t know what I would have done if you had sent me away.”

“Never would I do such a thing.” I whispered into his ear, nuzzling his coat collar.

“Are you certain you are okay with all this? I mean… with me?”

“Yes Will, we will get through this. Whatever happens we can

handle it.”

“I have a lot to explain to you, it’s really complicated.” He sighed and smiled slightly.

“I expected that.” I looked at him more closely. “I have a lot of my own questions too, ya know.” I smiled at him. “I do have one quick one to ask.”

“Shoot.” He winked at me.

“It’s cold out here, so uh… why does it bother you? I always heard vampires were naturally cold or something like that.” I pursed my lips thinking hard. “Oh, and shouldn’t your skin be cold or something too?”

“Ah…the movies, the folk tales.” He laughs softly.

“Yes, the cold shouldn’t bother me and yes my skin should be much colder than a normal person’s.”

“What?” I shook my head totally confused now.

“You see, I am not a full-blooded vampire.” He smirked. “Pardon the pun there. When I was changed to a vampire my body, by some genetic fluke or whatever, rejected a majority of the venom or it was not strong enough to fully change me.” He squeezed my hand gently, still smiling at me. “I retained many human qualities thankfully, but I also have many vampire traits as well. I’m a half-breed, if you want to call me something… I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders as he blew the air out of his mouth loudly.

I was not sure what to think. A half-breed vampire? Did that mean he didn’t really like blood? I had so many questions, but I didn’t want to overwhelm him. He seemed in a fragile state of mind as he held onto my hand tightly. I could feel him shaking; it was very cold, but I knew better. He was still very nervous after telling me his secret. I knew I had to be strong for both of us now.

I had to reassure him. I was not ever leaving, and I was trying to keep a handle on myself. I had to prepare for all the extremely weird and freaky things I was about to face being in love with a half-human, half- vampire. Getting myself to even accept such a thing was real, was going to be my first hurdle for sure.

“You have to be freezing.” He smiled, rubbing my hands gently.