Ever (12 page)

“Later,” Jaren murmured, as he squinted at me out of the corner of his eye.

I caught the way he was looking at me, askance, like he was focusing on my energy. Maybe that was how he seemed to know what I was thinking. I wondered what colors I was putting out.

Jaren practically had to drag me away from the tree as we continued on the path to observe the other redwoods. Each tree felt a little different, and the energy was less intense than that of the big one—The Grizzly Giant. I could stay here all day, tuning into the different sensations each tree evoked.

I was starving by the time we stopped for a snack break. After all, I had skipped breakfast and gone flying with a raven. I glanced at Jaren, wondering if I should tell him about the raven and the seed. Would he think I was crazy or would he be able to explain it to me? Somehow I knew the latter was more likely to be true. Jaren pulled two apples and some cheese out of his pack and offered some to me. I was desperate for cookies but I had eaten the ones from the buffet on the bus.
Fruit equals sugar.
Gratefully, I took the apple and our fingers brushed. I felt that same tingly jolt that seemed to constantly unnerve me around him, and I jerked my hand out of reach.

“Sorry,” he said. “Sometimes I forget to rein it in.”

I felt my cheeks heat up at my reaction to his unexpected touch.
Real cool, Ever,
I chastised myself. I heard our chaperone say that we had the rest of the morning to explore the grove, but we had to be back on the shuttle by two o’clock. Dara and Naomi looked winded as they trudged up to the fallen log we were sitting on. Dara’s cute sweater was dusty, and her perfectly straightened hair was starting to frizz at the temples.

“Um, hey, Everleigh,” Dara said, her voice high and…nervous? Was she actually nervous?

“Hey,” I replied, sounding calmer than I had a right to be. I mean, I was sitting here next to Jaren Wilder, sharing his snack with him, after holding his hand for practically the entire hike. How could I possibly act like this was in any way normal? We looked like were
togethe
r or something. This was so not okay—and Val was going to kill me.

As the negative thoughts registered, I felt myself flush a little. The sheen on the trees and plants seemed to fade. I felt heavier and unsure of myself. Like a crumpled ragdoll, I slumped on the log as reality set in. There was no way any of this was happening. I was a total freak. I didn’t have the blond hair, the curves, or the cute clothes that guys like Jaren Wilder were into. I was either dreaming, or suffering from like, low blood sugar or something. What else could cause me to hallucinate? I wondered, thinking again about the mugwort incident.

“Can we talk to you?” Dara’s arms were folded across her chest as she stared at the apple in my hand.

His apple.

“Sure.” I said, sliding off the log. “Uh, see you around?” I could feel that Jaren wanted to say something to me, but I suddenly had trouble meeting his eyes.

He nodded, trying to meet my eyes again, but I avoided them. “Bet on it.”

Oh crap!
His parting comment sounded ominous. Dara and Naomi drilled me with questions about Jaren until I felt like my head was about to explode. I was in a weird daze and I felt so tired. I remember mumbling that I had to use the bathroom, knowing that the other girls wouldn’t set foot in the outhouse-like facility.

Somehow, I ended up back on the bus, alone. My head was so heavy and foggy. I told the driver that I wasn’t feeling well, and curled up on the very last seat with my head on my knapsack. My head felt like a bowling ball. The driver radioed Ms. Hardwick, and she took the seat next to me for the ride back to make sure I was okay. Which I wasn’t. I feigned a migraine, which really wasn’t that hard to do since my temples were genuinely starting to ache.

I deliberately kept my eyes closed and my head down the entire way back so I wouldn’t have to see Dara, Naomi, or…him.
Especially him!
I was suddenly certain that I had imagined the all of the weird things that had been happening. I was obviously going crazy. That was it. Going nuts seemed a lot more plausible than any other explanation. My mind seemed to be on a rollercoaster as I conjured up every negative scenario possible. With each thought, I felt worse and worse. As I huddled there, trying not to make physical contact with Ms. Hardwick, I could hear the whispered comments racing up and down the aisles and realized that everyone seemed to think I was either drunk or on drugs.

Jeez, I thought to myself, as I heard the giggles and whispers. God forbid anyone actually get sick around here! Or, have a bizarre spiritual experience complete with delusions that the hottest guy in school was holding my hand.
Oh, God
. Being virtually invisible to my peers had been bad enough, but I certainly didn’t want to become known as “the girl who flipped out on the school field trip.” I moaned audibly, which made Ms. Hardwick twitch with concern.

My behavior earned me a compulsory trip to the camp infirmary, where I fell asleep on a rickety little cot waiting for the doctor or intern or whomever to arrive. I woke up to a mild pounding in the recesses of my brain and the scrape of a door as it was opened. Someone brought me food on a little plastic tray. I was so hungry I couldn’t think. I wolfed down a healthy serving of hearty vegetable stew followed by a huge chocolate chip cookie, to the delight of the outdoorsy, dreadlock-wearing girl who gave it to me.

“It’s organic,” she commented, as I licked the crumbs off of my fingers. After eating, I felt a knot somewhere deep inside me uncurl and the pain in my head finally subsided. Aside from my blood pressure being a little elevated, I was pronounced perfectly fine. Granola Girl waved me out the door with a note verifying that I was not in imminent danger of dying or anything.

I headed back to the tent cabin feeling a little out of sorts, but much improved. I could hear the buzz of excitement as our group prepared for the campfire that evening. Great. The last thing I wanted to do was sit around and sing “Kumbaya.” If anything, I wanted to be alone. I found myself hoping my cabin mates would still be at dinner. No such luck. I could hear the girls inside giggling, and the smell of expensive perfume almost knocked me down when I opened the door.

I walked in, and of course, the first person I laid eyes on was Val. I could tell in an instant that she was angry. To her credit, she covered up her irritation with me pretty swiftly. It was like a mask slipped down over her scowl and replaced it with a wide, plastic smile. Oh, she was pissed all right. No degree of pretending could hide the thick, reddish-black energy smoke that encircled her head.

“Hey,” she said icily.

Well, at least she was talking to me. As I looked at Val, Dara and Naomi, I was struck by the bizarre social behavior of high school girls. I suddenly recognized how Dara and Naomi were walking on eggshells, waiting to see what Val’s reaction to me would be. By speaking to me, Val gave the other girls the “all-clear” to interact with me, but it was obvious that they should craft their words with care. I could see that everyone deferred to the angry person in the room. People instinctively wanted to avoid the blast of aversive energy that occurred when the angry person exploded. I struggled to figure out something to say that would dissolve some of the tension in the room.

“Uh, I just got released from the camp infirmary,” I offered.

Hearing my own words, I became irritated. If Val had gotten sick, the rest of us would have been camped outside the infirmary to make sure she was okay. It didn’t escape me that my “friends” hadn’t done that…and I was sure Val was to blame for the group neglect. Another power play! I couldn’t believe I hadn’t picked up on this little game before.

Naomi looked genuinely concerned…and guilty. “Was it a migraine?” she asked.

Her mother suffered from migraines, so she knew how debilitating they could be.

“Uh, yeah. It was awful,” I said. “I hardly remember the hike.”

Val gave me a dirty look and muttered, “Yeah, right!” under her breath as she rummaged around in her duffle.

“Dara!” she barked. “Which top should I wear tonight?”

She held up two low-cut tanks. What was she thinking? It was seriously freezing outside. Then I remembered that Val met a guy last night. She was probably planning to meet him at this campfire or whatever it was, and she wanted to look hot to impress him. She pointedly ignored me as she discussed her outfit options with Dara and Naomi.

Why did I need this girl’s approval? Maybe I didn’t—maybe I just needed the negativity to go away. I felt weak, and I had a feeling that any more negative energy smoke would make me feel worse.

“Wear the lacy one,” I cut in. “It makes your boobs look super huge.”

All three girls turned to stare at me. Val’s expression was unreadable for a second, and then she broke out into a toothy smile.

“You think so?” she asked.

“Totally,” I said. “You wore that to the mall and I noticed a whole bunch of guys checking you out.” It was a bald-faced lie, but it worked. I saw the reddish-brown swirls around her head flicker before they disappeared.

Val pulled the tank on over her head as I made my way to my scratchy cot. I pulled out my light blue thermal shirt and threw it on. Then I grabbed a navy hoodie and pulled my brown beanie onto my head. I have no one to impress, I thought. Or do I? Thinking about what had happened at the grove made me feel awkward. When I bent to grab my brown sheepskin boots
,
Val plopped down next to me, the heavy scent of her perfume invading my nostrils.

“So…I hear you like,
know
Jaren now.” There was no mistaking the accusation in her tone.

“Uh, yeah I guess,” I replied carefully.

“Did you like, just start talking to him or something?”

I could see the reddish-brown swirls begin to appear out of the corner of my eye and I knew I was still on dangerous ground.

“Not really. You know, he just sat next to me on the bus and started talking to me,” I explained. “I wasn’t feeling well. I guess he was just trying to be nice to me.”

“How sweet,” Val said sarcastically.

The reddish-brown swirls were back, and I could practically feel them hooking into my own energy and sucking it up, like a vacuum. I struggled to get my golden circle up but I was still so tired. I pushed hard but could only get it to flicker around me.

“Look, I wasn’t going to be rude to the guy!” I burst out. “Plus, he’s not my type.”

Oh my God, where were these lies coming from? Jaren Wilder was so my type that I could barely think about him without dissolving into a puddle.

“Are you even into Jaren?” I asked, in a tone that was totally out of character for me. “I mean, I thought you met some guy last night when you guys snuck out…
without me
.”

I emphasized the last part, even though I could care less that they hadn’t included me in their little after-hours party. But I wanted to point out to Val that she in fact, had wronged me first. If anything, we were even in our little social game.
Your move, Val.

As I spoke the challenging words, I caught a swirl of reddish-brown smoke swirl out from my temple and tickle Val’s ear. Almost immediately, I felt a surge of adrenaline. I had just leveled up by knocking her down a notch! Dara and Naomi smiled to themselves and I knew they were aware of our competition, even though they couldn’t see the energy. My chest swelled as my status increased. It felt good, too good, to take Val’s energy.

Addicting.

Val looked a little shocked. “Well, uh, you know, I’m seeing Mike tonight…and I wanna see where that goes. He’s hot,
and
he’s like, twenty-four.”

I could tell she didn’t know what to say about them ditching me. Instead, she tossed out her high-status card: She had attracted the attention of an older guy. I shrugged. Whatever. The guy was probably a loser anyway. My reaction did not have the desired effect, and I could see Val’s energy diminish so that it was nearly transparent. I, on the other hand, suddenly felt like I was on top of the world.

“Do you really think this top makes me look bigger?” She looked uncertain now.

I nodded, smiling, as I watched the energy smoke turn a choppy yellow. I had the upper hand now. I felt myself swell with energy, but instead of feeling they way I had felt when I was near the tree, this current sensation felt a little artificial. But there was no denying how good I felt. Confidence bordering on arrogance bordering on a feeling of being…invincible.

“Um, guys…we’re gonna be late,” Dara said, eyeing Val and me uncertainly.

I snickered as I took in what they were wearing. The three of them were totally going to freeze.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Campfire Stories

T
he campfire turned out to be this totally contrived setup at the main amphitheater. We had to check in, so I guess it was our school’s way of making sure none of us were lost in the woods. The three of us took a bench in the very last row and sat down. A few minutes later, a lanky guy in a hoodie appeared and gave Val The Chin.