Eventide (Her Father, My Master) (20 page)

“He is.”

“So, why me? Why did you agree to do this with me?” He didn't look hurt as he spoke, merely

curious.

“Because...” I groped for the right words. “As great as he is, I still like things that are different from

him, too. I feel like my experience is broad, but limited. I want to remove those limits.”

He nodded. “I think I see.”

I wasn't sure that he did.

We didn't play that day. We just continued to talk, about our lives, our hopes and fears for the future.

Where we wanted to go. Where we saw ourselves in ten years.

It was the first time I really acknowledged that in ten years' time, I wouldn't be with Mr. Hendricks

anymore. Where would I be? I didn't know. And that thought scared me.

When the clock in Derrick's living room struck seven, I nearly leapt out of my seat.

“I'm late,” I said, my eyes round with worry. “I have to go!”

Derrick nodded and stood with me. “To your master.”

I flushed. “Yes. To him.”

“Think about what I said, okay? Think about telling him.”

“I will.”

I didn't think I would, though. I was too scared.

I raced home in record time, and Mr. Hendricks was waiting for me at the door.

“You're late,” he said in a stern voice.

“I know, sir. I'm sorry, sir,” I apologized, not meeting his gaze as I busied myself with slipping out of

my clothing.

“You've never been late before.”

“It will never happen again sir, I promise.”

“It had better not. I'm afraid I'm going to have to make your punishment more severe this time around.”

And he did.

First, the chanting. He had me press my face in a corner on the floor like he always did, like I was

some naughty child that needed to be disciplined. I don't even know how long he had me do that, but it

felt like hours. Maybe even longer.

After the chanting ended, he indulged himself with the vampire gloves. And it wasn't six hits this

time. It was ten, with each spanking more painful than the last.

And then the fucking.

He fucked me hard, like a wild animal. It was all sweaty bodies and thrusting, muscle and sinew

against skin. He forbade me from making a single sound, and at the end of it, he wouldn't let me come.

And that was my ultimate punishment. To revel in all that he'd done to me, and not get my release.

It was agony. But I endured it, every last moment of it. I savored it even.

He left me that night a disheveled mess. And this time he forbade me from cleaning up. I was to

suffer with the scent of him, and the evidence of his activities trickled down my legs as I tried to sleep.

Suffice it to say, I didn't sleep well.

*****

The next morning, I awoke early. I had troubling dreams, dreams of being kicked out of the house and

having everything I loved being taken away from me. I hated it. I woke in a cold sweat, shivering with

fear. I desperately wanted to go to my master, curl up next to him in his bed and feel his take me in his

arms, but I couldn't.

Our relationship wasn't like that.

So I found myself wanting to go to Derrick instead, and feel with him what I couldn't feel with Mr.

Hendricks, but I realized that relationship wasn't like that either. I held Derrick away from me, just as

Mr. Hendricks did to me. He was right, and I was alone. I didn't like that feeling much.

I thought back to the dream, and as I did, I realized my biggest fear wasn't losing material things, it

was losing my relationship, strange as it was. I was afraid of losing Mr. Hendricks, and I was afraid of

losing Derrick.

And I was also certain that if Mr. Hendricks found out about Derrick, our relationship would be over.

I would be kicked out. As much as I wanted to tell him, I just couldn't. I couldn't lose him, but I couldn't lose Derrick. It was such a twisted, conflicting feeling. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I was

being greedy. I wanted to eat my cake and have it, too.

But I couldn't think of how else to move forward.

I didn't tell Mr. Hendricks.

As the months drew on, and winter melted into spring, I continued my sessions with Derrick. As I

trained him, we grew closer. I had him doing some of the same things Mr. Hendricks did to me –

spanking, whipping, bondage, rough sex, and general domination.

It was amazing, as always. What was old with my master was made new again with Derrick, and I

found my excitement for every activity grow with both men. While I hadn't exactly been tired of Mr.

Hendricks, I realized that I'd grown comfortable with him. Derrick helped make my relationship with my

master better, just by being something different. I needed that variety.

But it somehow felt wrong. I wrestled with those warring emotions. I shouldn't be with more than one

man. It wasn't normal, it wasn't right. It made me a slut in a bad way.

Even though I checked the BDSM forums I lurked on frequently, even though I saw other people who

had multiple play partners, even though I knew it was an actual lifestyle for some – polyamory, they

called it – I still felt guilty.

There was a huge part of me that just wanted to be normal, even though that ship had long sailed. It'd

sailed when I signed up for all of this in the first place.

But still, I longed.

Even though Derrick pushed me, I still never revealed his existence to Mr. Hendricks. Maybe that

was why this all felt wrong to me. The secret keeping felt wrong. And it was beginning to tear me apart

on the inside.

“Have you told him yet?” Derrick asked me one afternoon, after we finished our session for the day.

I'd given him free reign with a cat o' nine tails and he had done wonderfully. My skin still seared and

ached from the beating.

I ducked my head. “No, I haven't.”

“Krys,” he said sternly, hooking a finger under my chin and forcing my head up, forcing me to meet his

eyes. “You need to tell him.”

“I know.”

He sighed. “I didn't want to do this, but I'm ordering you to tell him. If you don't, I'll punish you.”

I quirked a half-smile. “It doesn't exactly work like that.”

“It doesn't? What if I deprive you of our sessions?”

I squirmed, trying to look away from him again, but he grabbed my head in both hands now and glared

at me. “I'm ordering you. Tonight. Okay?”

My heart fluttered against my ribs. I didn't want to. I couldn't. But if I didn't, I'd lose Derrick. It

seemed I had a choice to make. Derrick, or Mr. Hendricks. Or so I believed, at least.

“Okay,” I said quietly. I could feel tears welling in my eyes as I thought about the inevitable loss. I

just couldn't decide who it would be.

“It won't be so bad,” Derrick soothed, forgetting his dom training and gathering me up in a hug now.

This was how he was different from my master. We had this friendship as well, friendship that I was

deathly afraid was blossoming into something more. Or maybe I wanted it. “Everything will be okay.”

He petted my hair as he spoke into my ear.

I returned his hug, sucking up every last drop of compassion that he had. It was just something I

desperately lacked with Mr. Hendricks. I never saw my master as an equal, but Derrick... Derrick was

different. So different. “I have to tell him tonight?” I said, my voice muffled from being buried in his

shoulder.

“Yes. No. Okay, just tell him before next Saturday.”

“What if he kicks me out?”

Derrick gave me a squeeze. “You can stay with me until you figure things out.”

“Okay.” That somehow made everything a little better. I was worried about myself, of course, as

well as the relationship. It was good to know that I had someone I could depend on.

“But you have to tell him.”

“Okay. I know.”

Just then, the clock struck half past five, and I shuddered in Derrick's embrace. He grabbed my

shoulders now and pushed me away from him. “Are you sure you want to go back?”

“Of course I do.” Derrick knew the extent of my relationship with my master now, and it was

something that made him nervous, to this day. It didn't seem normal to him. And it wasn't. But that didn't mean it was unhealthy.

“Okay,” he said skeptically, but he let me go.

“I have to get my things,” I said quietly. We both knew it was time for me to go. I had to go face the

music.

I was on pins and needles during the drive home. Though Derrick said I had all week to tell Mr.

Hendricks about him, I decided to do it as soon as possible. As soon as I got home.

And I also decided to be obscure about it, at first. Present the situation as a hypothetical and see how

he reacted. If he reacted poorly, then I wouldn't tell him about it, no matter what Derrick said. Then I

would have more lies to maintain. I was never good about lying.

He was waiting for me, as he always was.

“Good evening, pet,” he said, whip already in hand. I was on time, so my punishment wouldn't be so

severe. I had been late since that fateful night a few weeks ago.

“Hello, sir,” I said, obediently stripping.

“Come with me.” He turned away from me.

“Wait, sir,” I held out a hand, stopping him before he could leave the room and ascend the stairs. He

turned around and looked at me, his eyes glittering darkly.

“What is it?”

“I... I have a question.” My nerves were rising quickly. I just wanted to scream and run out of the

house.

“And the question is?”

“If – I – that is,” I paused and gathered my thoughts. “What if I met someone else on my off the leash

time?” That came out poorly. I didn't want to leave Mr. Hendricks. Far from it. I just wanted both of

them.

He didn't say anything at first. He just looked at me.

“That's what I intended for you to do,” he finally replied.

“It... it is?”

“Yes. To have some human interaction outside of me.” He approached me again. “You need this

time outside, not just for yourself, but to foster other relationships. You need friends, like any other young girl.”

“But, what if-”

He interrupted me. “I don't want to know what happens during your off the leash time,” he said

sternly. I thought we'd made that clear when we arranged this.”

“Yes, sir,” I said meekly, dipping my head in submission. That was it. He didn't want to know. I felt

relief lift from me like a heavy weight, though I still felt guilty. I wanted to tell him, but he didn't want to know. It was a very confusing situation, and a confusing feeling, to say the least.

“Is that all?” he asked me.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Don't bother me with what you do outside my house. I gave you this time for a reason.” He

turned and made to go up the stairs once again. “Now, come. Receive your punishment.”

“Yes, sir,” I said and quickly followed him.

I had my answer.

My punishment was swift, and pleasurable. Mr. Hendricks always made sure to do something I

enjoyed, when I came home on time. It encouraged me to come back to him. Tonight, it was spanking.

No vampire gloves, just the feeling of his bare flesh striking against my own. I loved this, most of all.

My skin sparked with electricity whenever his hand slammed down on my ass. The feeling was

overwhelmingly erotic. And it wasn't just the feeling, it was the fact that it was him, my master,

delivering the punishment.

I was a bad girl. A naughty girl.

As he fucked me I sank into a blissful happiness. I was in good standing with both of my play

partners, and I could fully enjoy the play with both of them now. Mr. Hendricks excited me, and now I

could be with Derrick, and not have that overshadowing worry loom over my head of what Mr. Hendricks

would think, because he simply didn't want to know.

I really could have it all.

When I went to Derrick's the next Saturday, I carefully rehearsed what I would say to him. I didn't

think he would accept that I hadn't really told Mr. Hendricks any details at all, but that was exactly the

way my master wanted it. He didn't want to know what I'd done during my off the leash time. That was

exactly the point of it, after all.

“So?” was the first Derrick said when he saw me.

“I told him as much as he cared to know, I promise,” I replied.

“And how much was that?”

“Not much,” I admitted as I shrugged my bag off of my shoulder and onto his couch. “But he didn't

want to know. I swear.”

Derrick narrowed his eyes. “I'm not sure I like that entirely, but okay.”

I shook my head. “I've seen this before. I know someone else who has a similar arrangement. She

has a husband, and a play partner. The husband is vanilla, and doesn't want to know what she does when

she's with her other partner.” I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. “It doesn't exactly seem healthy to me, but he's my master, and I have to respect his wishes.”

As soon as I said the word master, I noticed Derrick cringe and draw away from me. I knew it. He

didn't like being secondary in my life, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I couldn't be a slave to both of them, that was for sure. Mr. Hendricks had given me this off the leash time to go out and

experience the world, and keep in touch with humanity. I certainly couldn't do that if I was beholden to

yet another master.

“I'm sorry,” I said as I watched the pain on his face.

Through it, he managed to smile. “You shouldn't apologize so much.”