Eveillez: Deny Your Blood Lust (20 page)

"It's so much more than that. You didn't give up on me, even when I deserved it."

"I know."

"Even when I treated you like shit." His gaze locked on hers. "Angel, God, I am so sorry. I have been nothing but a dick to you."

She smiled and tossed the tissue in the trash. "I told you; I saw through all that. This condition isn't an easy thing to accept and I pushed too hard. The rest of the time you were only doing your job."

"Was I?" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It's no excuse. I couldn't see past the case, past my own bias." He trailed his fingers down the side of her face. "I couldn't see what was waiting for me."

She caught his fingers and pressed them to her lips. "But you can now?"

"I really don't deserve you."

"I don't believe that. You're here."

"I'll never be able to treat you the way you need."

"And how do you think I need to be treated?"

"Like a princess."

"Who says I want to be treated like a princess?"

"Don't all women?"

"No," she said matter-of-factly.
 
"I want a partner, a friend, someone I respect, a lover—of course. But I don't want someone who's going to kiss my ass all the time. I get that enough."

He laughed. "I imagine you do."

"Somehow I doubt ass-kissing is one of your talents."

"Not remotely." He raked his hair. "Okay, before this goes any further, before I cause you any more hurt or pain, there's something you need to know about me. My mistakes … now … in the past… Let's just say when you find out about them there's a good chance you'll want to run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. And I definitely won't blame you."

"I told you before, everyone deserves forgiveness. You deserve it." She caressed his lips with hers.
 
"Tell me what happened to make you feel so guilty."

Brushing a strand of loose hair aside, his gaze locked on her face for a long time. "My guilt is hard earned."

"You can trust me. Please, tell me."

"Get your running shoes out. I think even your ability to forgive will be challenged."

"How will you know if you don't give me the chance?"

"Okay." He seemed to drink in her face for a long time before turning away from her and locking his gaze on the ceiling, like he was too ashamed to look at her while he confessed his perceived sins.

"We were watching the house of a murder suspect. We didn't have enough evidence to arrest him but we all knew he was guilty. The house wasn't fit for a dog to live in, so we reported him to Child Protective Services and luckily got his kid out. But he also had a girlfriend he liked to knock around. We weren't so successful getting her out. We were pretty sure they were going to make a run for it. In fact, we were counting on it. One night, I took watch while my partner slept and ended up dozing off myself. That was all it took. We found them both dead a couple days later." Shame colored his face. "I will never forgive myself," he added quietly.

She was silent for a long time. It was more than she imagined, and she suddenly understood why he'd been so driven to punish people for their role in the deaths of Lohr's victims.

"Understandable," she said. "But unnecessary. Forgiveness comes with time. You didn't know what caused your exhaustion."

"No, but I should have been able to stay awake. It was
only
thirty minutes. I'd consumed enough caffeine to give a horse a heart-attack."

"Caffeine…" she shook her head, "is practically worthless for us."

"I wish I'd known that four months ago."

"But you didn't. Had you ever fallen asleep on a stakeout before?"

"No."

It was her turn to caress his face. "Then you have to forgive yourself. I know it's a mistake that feels unforgivable. But you can't change it. Just like I can't change delivering Melanie Young to her death."

He glanced at her. "You can't take the blame for that. You told me yourself: you didn't know Lohr was a murderer."

"And you tried to get that woman to leave. And you probably saved the child."

He snorted.

"People do horrific things. I wish we could prevent them all, but we can't. How would you have changed things? Even if you'd been awake, are you sure you could have prevented the woman's death?"

"I don't know."

"Couldn't he have just killed her in the house while you sat outside?"

"I'd never even considered that…"

"Then perhaps it's time to let it go," she said softly. "You can either dwell in the past—when you didn't know why your body was broken—or you can move forward, without the albatross of your physical ailment hanging around your neck and holding you back. Think of all the good you can do now, all the lives still left for you to save."

"You know I'm a homicide detective…"

"Then think of all the bad guys you can put away."

"Maybe we can help each other let go and move forward."

"I'd like that."

His kiss gentle, his lips lingered against hers for a long time. "Why are you so good?" he murmured into them.

"Would you prefer I were bad?"

"Hmm, depends on the context."

She swung a leg over his and perched on his chest. "That can be arranged," she said, gently biting his lower lip.

Almost immediately his cock began to swell, the tip pressing deliciously against the edge of her sex. She was amazed by the desire he stirred in her. Maybe Kevin McCoy wasn't the solution to all her problems, but he was definitely a step in the right direction. Maybe she needed him as much as he needed her.

"As much as I want to be inside you again, I need to know what it is you want from me, what you expect from me."

"You mean, besides this," she eased onto him.

"Jesus," he moaned.

"Angel," she repeated.

He laughed.

"I told you. You," she said, leaning forward and kissing him. "I've wanted nothing but you from the moment I met you."

"Good." His strong arms wrapped around her and he pulled her in tight. "Because I don't intend to let you go."

Epilogue

Hail only knew two things when he woke up: it was pitch black and his entire body ached. He had no idea where he was, why it was dark, why his head throbbed, why he was on a bed, or why he couldn't move his arms or legs.

The last thing he remembered was dressing Lohr's shoulder wound, and then the most painful feeding he'd ever experienced.

"Good, you're awake," Lohr's breathy voice sounded in the dark. "I was beginning to fear I'd hit you too hard."

Hit him? "Are we in Africa?"

Lohr chuckled. "Oh, no. I doubt you'll live long enough to see Africa."

Oh, God, what had he done?

In a panic, he desperately tried to move, only to realize his arms were restrained. Just like Kate Miller…

He felt the mattress sink and then something warm next to him. "You see," Lohr said in his ear. "I have unfinished business here, and since I'm underground, I only have one blood source. You." A finger trailed down Hail's neck. "Your blood is so divine," Lohr's hot breath on his skin chilled him to the bone, "I fear I'll drink it all."

He cried out as Lohr sank his teeth into his neck. The pain was excruciating, but the more he screamed the harder Lohr bit him.

And suddenly he knew one more thing; he was as good as dead. He didn't have Slade or Armand or even Darus to come to his rescue. The only hope he had was the police, but in the short time he'd been with Lohr, he knew that was a long shot at best.

Also by C.D. Hussey

La Luxure:
Discover Your Blood Lust

Book One in the Human Vampire Series

de Sang
: Embrace Your Blood Lust

Book Two in the Human Vampire Series

Look for
Expiez:
Redeem Your Blood Lust

Book Four in the Human Vampire Series

Summer 2012!

To stay updated please visit:
http://www.cdhussey.com/

Acknowledgements

Another huge thanks to my beta readers and my editor, and New Orleans for providing so much inspiration.

About the Author

When not writing, C.D. Hussey enjoys a career as a professional engineer. She currently lives in the Midwest with her husband, teenage son and two cats. With an ongoing love affair with New Orleans, expect to see her in the Crescent City at least twice a year.