Eve of Destruction (48 page)

But at least the trip had managed to keep her mind off all their other problems, and she was actually more relieved than afraid by the time they reached the city. None of Chaval’s Dusty thugs leapt out to confront them at any point, and within an hour of the crossing into the city limits, Danev had led them to the southwestern corner of the city. The area was even more run-down than Pollard’s apartment had been, but he assured them his people had already “taken care” of everything here as a backup after they’d first arrived a few days ago.

“It’s not exactly luxury,” Danev said as he looked upon the haggard apartment building, “but it is reasonably discreet.”

“And you don’t think Aram told the Enclave all about your hiding spots?” Zach asked pointedly.

Danev’s cheek twitched slightly. It was the same subtle shift in body language he repeated every time Aram’s name had been mentioned during the trip. Clearly the betrayal still stung each time it was brought up, and just as clearly he didn’t really want to show it. Eve wondered idly if the defection had wounded him more personally or professionally.

“It’s far too trivial a detail to worry about given everything else that was going on,” Danev said dismissively. “They’ll have a lot more trouble finding us than Chaval’s people.”

“We just need to bunker in until Maltus arrives tomorrow evening,” Shaedra commented.

“And get some food,” Zach added. “I think at this point I’m hungry enough to eat raw vretarg.”

“And you say I’m the monster,” Shaedra muttered, walking ahead of them and pushing open the door. Her wounded arm was still clearly slowing her down, but it had healed a bit. Her attitude, on the other hand, hadn’t improved in the slightest. Not that anyone had expected otherwise.

They made their way to the third floor to their apartment, which was really just a glorified room with two beds and a table. It didn’t have any plumbing as far as she could tell, and there was only one window.

“Maybe Pollard was doing better than I gave him credit for,” Zach commented dryly as he examined the cracked ceilings.

“I guess Danev and I get this one,” Shaedra grumbled as she pushed open the adjacent door. It was just as rustic as the first room. “Did I ever tell you that I used to be nobility?”

“There’s a pub across the street that probably serves food,” Danev said, ignoring her and tossing his things inside the doorway. All of his white suits were stained with either dirt or blood, and he looked odd in his functional dark vest and trousers. At least his cane had survived the trip. “I’ll go and pick up whatever they have.”

“I’ll help,” Zach offered. A second later he belatedly glanced over to Eve as she flopped down on one of the beds He was probably wondering if he should leave her alone with Shaedra. Even a few days ago he never would have considered it, but at this point…

 “Go ahead,” she told him. “There is a tub here somewhere, I assume?”

“You’ll have to settle for a communal basin,” Danev said. “At least for the moment.”

She made a face. “Right.”

The two men left, and Eve leaned back on the pillow and closed her eyes. She felt like she could have slept for about a week straight. And maybe if she did, she would wake up and find out this nightmare was already over…

But no, she wasn’t going to retreat again. After two days of travel and all the introspection that came with it, she’d decided she was sick of trying to bury her head in the sand and pretend none of this was happening. It was time to face up to it, one way or another.

And there was only one way to do that. 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Eve murmured as she leaned up and worked off her boots. “Or what you’ve been saying.”

Shaedra glanced up from her crippled arm and cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“My instructors liked to tell me that all fear was ultimately born out of ignorance. I don’t know if that’s true, but I think in this case it might be.” Eve took a deep breath. “I don’t understand how I’ve been able to weave these spells so easily, but I need to figure it out. I’m just not sure what I can do.”

“You need to test yourself,” Shaedra said. “You need to find your limits and push against them. It’s simple—you can’t be expected to control something you don’t understand.”

“But how do I do that?”

The Vakari smiled crookedly. “You use me.”

Eve blinked. “What?”

“Soldiers train against target dummies, but that won’t work for you,” Shaedra explained. “Your powers are born out of crisis, so I don’t think standing here and trying to hurl spells at a bale of hay is going to help you learn anything. You need real action, but unless we’re willing to go and round up a bunch of Dusties to throw at you, the only chance you have to get it is against me. You can’t harm me—not permanently.”

“But doesn’t it…” Eve paused and took a deep breath. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

“You mean getting shot or burned? Of course it hurts.”

Eve winced. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Shaedra laughed. “A few days ago, I’m pretty sure you wanted your boyfriend to shoot me. Now you’re worried about causing me a little discomfort?”

Eve glanced down at the woman’s limp arm. “You seem like you’re in enough pain.”

The woman’s smile vanished as she clutched at her wound. “It feels like there’s still a sword jabbed inside me.”

It was, Eve decided, an odd sensation to suddenly feel pity for a being so maligned and twisted as a Vakari, but it washed over her regardless. Whatever the woman’s motives, she had defended them against Chaval’s people on more than one occasion, and she had saved them from Aram, too. She might have been a caustic, bitter monster, but if actions were ultimately what defined someone, she had been as staunch an ally since they had met as anyone else. Zach hadn’t been able to accept that yet, but maybe she could.

“Aren’t you worried I could make it worse?” Eve asked softly.

Shaedra snorted. “Unless you know how to weave cellium spells, no.”

“But I was able to harm you earlier, back in the forest after the train,” Eve said. “When you came at us, I knocked you away.”

 “You unraveled the spell he’d placed on me. That’s not exactly the same thing.”

“But magic can affect you. Aram was able to do it, and that means the Enclave has a way of doing it.”

Shaedra’s eyes flickered and a faint smile crept across her lips. “There are ways. And if you really are the Avenshal, then you might be able to command that power too.”

“So if I do spar with you, then it could be dangerous,” Eve said. “Maybe it’s not such a good idea.”

“Look, we don’t really have a choice here,” Shaedra told her. “You need to understand your powers, and the only way you’re going to do that is to unleash them again. For that, you need me. Let me worry about the details, and save your pity for someone who deserves it.”

The Vakari stood and walked over to scowl out the dirty window. Eve sat in silence for a few minutes and watched her. Somewhere beneath the acerbic attitude and tattered clothing was a woman who had probably been quite striking once. Between her formidable height and fierce glare, she’d probably commanded respect just by walking into a room.

Eve took a deep breath and wet her lips. “There’s something else I’ve wanted to ask you.”

“And what’s that?”

“Your home,” Eve said softly. “There are all kinds of stories and legends. I wanted to know what really happened.”

For a moment, it almost looked like Shaedra shrunk, like a great shadow had fallen across her shoulders and pushed her down. But then she blinked it away and raised her chin.

“I happened.”

Eve frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to,” Shaedra said dismissively, turning around. “It’s not relevant anyway. What’s important here is you, and figuring out what we’re going to do.”

“My mom told me once that the Enclave destroyed Vakar for disobeying them,” Eve pressed, unfettered. “Mr. Maltus said it was more complicated than that.”

Shaedra just stared at her for several seconds, and it was hard not to wilt beneath the power of that green gaze. But Eve forced herself to stand strong, and eventually the other woman shook her head and sighed.

“They weren’t punishing us, exactly,” she said finally. “They just didn’t care about saving us.”

“Saving you from what?”

“The Lesseks.”

Eve frowned. “Isn’t that some ethnic group in Esharia?”

“Now, yes,” Shaedra said. “Three centuries ago they had their own country right next to ours. We’d never really gotten along, and eventually they decided to attack. We weren’t ready for it, and the Enclave did nothing to help.”

“Were they supposed to? I didn’t think they got involved in wars like that.”

Shaedra snorted and sat back down in the chair. “They get involved in whatever they want as long as things can be manipulated to their advantage. But apparently we weren’t worth the time.”

Eve nodded. “So they let you be conquered.”

“They would have,” she whispered. “And it didn’t feel like anyone cared. Except me.”

She fell silent, and Eve let it hang for a few minutes as Shaedra seemed to gather herself. Her eyes lost their focus, and it was like she was staring off at something in the distance…

“I tried to come up with a way to stop them,” she went on eventually. “It was based on bits of research I’d gathered over the years. I thought I could unleash enough power to destroy them all, to completely wipe their soldiers from the map…”

“That doesn’t seem possible,” Eve said softly.

Shaedra shrugged. “Maybe it wasn’t. I don’t know, but the Enclave was scared of it—terrified, even. They tried to stop me the entire time I was researching it. First one of their agents tried to convince me to give it up. Then he tried to sabotage what I was doing. Finally when I attempted to actually weave the spell, he and a bunch of others attacked me.”

“So what happened?”

“They killed me.”

Eve frowned and leaned forward. “I don’t…”

“Not before I could unleash the spell, or at least part of it,” Shaedra explained. “I was bleeding, dying, and I knew I didn’t have the strength to face the Flensing. So I Defiled, and the spell was…not what I expected it to be.”

The woman ran a hand through her hair and looked up at Eve again. “I created us. I created me. And in the process, I wiped out thousands of Lesseks. They never took Vakar because I destroyed it first.”

Eve swallowed and shook her head. “With
one
spell? I don’t see how that’s even possible…”

“Don’t you?” Shaedra asked. “That’s exactly what we’re talking about with you, isn’t it? Except you’re not just a normal mage like me—you’re the Avenshal, corrupted by the power of a dark god. If I could destroy an entire country—if I could create an entirely new race of monsters—imagine what you could do if you don’t learn to control it.”

“I…”

Shaedra waved a hand and stood. “I’m not very useful to you as a historian, but maybe I can be as an example. I was a Defiler—I
am
a Defiler—but not because I intended to be. I sundered the Fane out of fear and desperation because I didn’t understand what I was capable of. The Enclave never let me test my spell or my theories. Instead they did what they always do—they bury the knowledge instead of trying to understand it. They hide from the truth and then act surprised when it comes back to haunt them later. You don’t need to make that mistake.”