Evade (The Ever Trilogy) (14 page)

“Yeah. You were. You can’t just come back into her life like nothing happened.”

“I know, I—”

“Just go, Toby,” I said. I was annoyed that they were talking about me and
my
life like I wasn’t even in the room, but I didn’t really have any other words to say. Frankie had pretty much covered the part I would have said already.

And I’d never openly admit to the spark of joy I felt seeing Toby’s face at my window again.

A few moments after Toby disappeared from sight, Frankie walked to the bedroom door. He turned the knob, then paused to look back at me. “You really should talk to your mom, Doll. Think about what she’s going through, not just how shocked you are by all of this.” He sighed, his eyes downcast as he left the room. “Good night, Ever.”

I
hated today.

I’d been awake for all of ten seconds and I already
really
hated today.

Today was ‘confront mom about
not-actually-dead
sister’ day for me, as well as ‘leave everyone you love and go into hiding’ day. Both of which totally sucked. Both of which involved conversations with people that I didn’t want to have. I had no idea what my mom would say to me about this huge lie she’d been harboring all my life, and God only knew what Toby would say when I told him I wanted him to collect on my soul’s branding. Or whatever.

I couldn’t see either convo ending very happily, honestly.

On top of what today meant for me, I awoke with this horrible sinking feeling in my gut and a desperate need to see Frankie. Something was off, and it wasn’t just Toby’s unwanted appearance in the middle of our make-out session last night. Though I can’t imagine much else cooling a guy’s sex drive quite as sufficiently as seeing the girl’s ex-boyfriend show up in the middle of making out.

Yes, Ever, this is your life.

I headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth, the sick feeling in my stomach refusing to abate. I’d tossed and turned all night. Hell, my mind tossed and turned all night. Toby and Frankie. Frankie and Toby. I’d become
that
girl again. I hated
that
girl. I swear I’d thought I was past all this, but now I wasn’t so sure. Toby’s sudden appearance back in my life had thrown my heart for a loop. Combine that with Frankie’s distance—real or perceived, I hadn’t yet figured out—and I was a regular pinball, bouncing back and forth between the two of them in my mind.

Ugh.
Ariadne was right.

What was wrong with me? I had everything I wanted. I finally had Frankie. Toby was a brief part of my past. All subsequent thoughts of him should have remained there as well. I should have been focusing on this time with Frankie. Especially since I only had a limited amount of time until I’d have to tell Toby my plan and leave all of the people I loved behind forever.

And I had to spend part of that time confronting my mom and the plethora of lies she’d been feeding me for the past eighteen years.

I hated this ugly day and my ugly sister.

Okay, fine. Ariadne wasn’t actually ugly, per se, but her heart was. If she even had one. My evil, conniving, merciless half-sister, just might be half-devil on her other side.

Maybe
Ted
was the devil.
Hmm.

When I finished in the bathroom, I headed back into my room, pulling off my sleep shirt as I went. Frankie stood in front of my bed, a suitcase near his feet. His contacts had been replaced with his old, familiar black frames.

“Shit! Frankie!”

His eyes widened at my near-nakedness, and I scrambled to get my shirt back on. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before, but for whatever reason, maybe just from being startled, we were both shocked by my exposed chest.

“I’m sorry, Doll. I should have let you know I was in here. The door was open a bit, and I just…”

There was something off about his voice. Holy crap, this was it.
Maybe I should sit down.
The initial shock of walking out topless slowly dissipated, as a sense of foreboding replaced it. Something was wrong. As much as I’d seen this coming, even before the trip to Mexico, I’d tried to convince myself I imagined the distance in his eyes. My heart crumpled now as I gauged his somber expression.

I briefly wondered if he’d figured out my plan, if he knew I was going to leave him. If he knew I was saying goodbye to him soon so I could let Toby collect on my soul. I’d always joked about Frankie’s ability to follow along with my thoughts, but could he actually do it?

I slowly approached him, somehow knowing as I did so that this would be the last time.
What the hell? Where had that thought come from?

He glanced down, and I followed his gaze to the object at his feet. I didn’t need the suitcase to tell me what was coming, though it made its point very well. Sitting next to Frankie’s black Converse, that unassuming navy blue suitcase spoke volumes. It told me everything I needed to know, so I knew what he was going to say before he even said it.

Truthfully, suitcase or no suitcase, I’d known this moment was coming. Maybe I hadn’t admitted it to myself, but deep down I’d known. It’d only been a matter of time.

I think maybe that was why I’d been able to come to my decision so easily in the first place.

Leaving Frankie would be one of the hardest things I’d ever have to do. But if he left me, I’d have that much less to cling to when I went on the run with Toby, and eventually allowed him to turn in my soul for its increased value, instead of someone else.

Frankie was leaving me.

I sighed and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He wrapped his long arms around me, pulling me tightly to him, smashing my face into his chest. I loved that chest. He was comfort and love and safety.

Three things I no longer had a use for, really.

“I have to leave for a while, Doll.”

“I know.” The words came out muffled against his white t-shirt.

“I figured you did. I just… I can’t stay here anymore. I shouldn’t have stayed all this time, but you needed me and…and I guess I needed you, too. I finally had you. Could finally hold you and kiss you. Could finally call you
mine
.” His words were wistful and sad, and my heart clenched in response. “But I don’t think this is where I’m supposed to be.”

“Frankie, I—”

“No, Ever, don’t. Please don’t say anything. I wouldn’t trade these last few months for anything in the world, but I can’t let you talk me into staying. One word from you and I’d probably never leave this house again. I’ve been given a second chance at life, and I stayed here longer than I should have. Even if it was only for a short time, I wouldn’t take it back. And I still love you, Ever, I always will. But—”

“But you don’t love me like
that
anymore.”

“I don’t really know. I do love you, so much, it’s just…it’s like there’s a piece of me missing. And I think I have to leave to figure out what it is.”

My eyes tingled, the tears I’d been holding in threatening to flow. A sob escaped my lips as I realized we really were saying goodbye. I’d never been without him.

Frankie pulled me even tighter. “Don’t cry, Ever. I love you. I will always love you. But I can’t keep you from following your heart, and I can’t keep myself from my own path either. I have to leave. And I think you know that you have to leave, too. You have to go with Toby. I can’t protect you from all of this.”

I knew he couldn’t, but hearing his words mimic my thoughts made the statement all the more true.

“Where will you go?”

“I’m going to find my dad.”

“Oh. So Chicago, then?”
Really far away from me.
I don’t know where I’d thought he’d go, but hearing that it would be so far away upset me. But he was right to leave. I hadn’t fully been his since Toby returned. Possibly even before then. I couldn’t tell. And he’d been pulling away from me for a little while now, too.

“Yeah, he’s in Chicago, last I heard. I have an aunt there, so I’ll try her place first. I don’t know. I have to at least try.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to leave. You can—”

My words were interrupted by his fingers on my chin. He pulled my face up to look me in the eyes and kissed me. His soft lips pressed to mine in a familiar, loving way, though he made no attempt to deepen the kiss, and there was no passion behind it.

I’d been trying to fight it, trying to ignore the feeling, but the distant look in his eyes had been mirroring my own feelings with eerie precision. We’d been each other’s first friends. We’d been each other’s first loves. He would always be the first boy I gave my heart to. The first boy I gave
myself
to. It would always be Frankie, and no one could take that spot away from him.

He stopped and pulled back, releasing my chin and kissing me quickly on the nose. His smile almost hid his pain, but I’d known Frankie too long for him to hide his emotions from me. And vice versa. Which was what brought us to this point. He’d known all along that my feelings were conflicted because he knew me. And I’d known he was pulling away from me for the same reason.

“I know you better than you know yourself, Doll.”
There he goes, reading my thoughts again.
He took a long deep breath. “We’ve both tried to ignore this, tried to hold onto the idea that we were meant to be…but I think we both know the truth. You don’t belong with me, Ever. There’s just something that…isn’t there the way it should be.”

I started to shake my head, wanting so badly to argue, even though his words rang true. I hadn’t stopped loving Toby, and I hadn’t stopped loving Frankie, but I could see in his eyes our love was of a different kind. It was forever. It was strong. It would be there always. No doubt. But it wasn’t the kind of love you devote your life to. It wasn’t deeply-rooted passion, or a can’t-live-without-it ache, regardless of how many times we’d been intimate.

I would never stop loving Frankie for who he was to me, who he had always been. He was my life, my childhood, my memories. I couldn’t remember a memory without him in it. You don’t stop loving someone who is that connected to your life story.

“It will always be you, Doll.”

I smiled up at him; his uncanny ability to mirror my thoughts, just one more indication of how in tune we were with each other. It was also what made me realize right then that no matter where life took us, together or apart, Frankie would be in my heart forever, and I in his.

“I love you, Franklyn Davis.”

“I know.”

He kissed me once more on the nose, then grabbed his suitcase. Without another word, he walked out the door. I briefly wondered how he was getting where he was going without a valid ID card or Driver’s License—since he was technically dead—and I thought about running after him and offering him a ride somewhere, but I knew he wouldn’t take it.

I also knew he wouldn’t want to see me again after walking away. We had our goodbye, and that’s what Frankie wanted. I knew him well enough to know that much. I followed him as far as the front door and watched him walk down the street until he was no longer in view.

As my first love walked out of my life, I wondered about our futures. With a countdown on my soul and the decision made to let Toby turn me in, I doubted our paths would ever reconvene.

Would I see him again? Logically, I didn’t think so.

But my heart swelled with a resounding
yes
.

S
ometime later, I remained at the window, though Frankie was long gone. Tears still occasionally flowed, a varied combination of feelings fueling them. I was scared, and sad, and something inside me felt…content. Like everything had fallen into place as it was supposed to. Even though it meant Frankie had to leave, and that broke my heart, I knew it was
right
.

I knew he’d find his dad—it was what he needed to do—and I would never keep him from that, so I had to focus on me now, and what I needed to do.

My mom cleared her throat behind me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I guess this meant it was time to confront my demons. Pun intended.

What the hell am I even going to say to her?

I turned to look at her, noticing that her tear-streaked cheeks probably matched mine. She’d been crying—all night long by the look of her swollen eyes.
Shit.
All of my resolve slipped away after one look at her, and suddenly I was in her arms, crying right along with her. I’d always been such a baby when it came to my mom, especially since my dad’s death, and this time was no exception.

I’d tried to be such a hard-ass, ignoring her all day and night, and here I was, crying in Mommy’s arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Her words were muffled into my hair. The one word held so much—sorry for Frankie’s sudden departure, sorry for the secrets Mom had kept from me, sorry for everything she and I had been through in our lives.

“I know, Mom,” I sobbed, my words muffled as well.

“I’m sorry about Frankie.”

“He’s gone to find his dad,” I told her, in case she wasn’t aware.

“I know, baby. I helped him get travel arrangements taken care of. I also called his Aunt. She’s expecting him.”

“She is?” I wondered how that conversation went.

“Yeah,” my mom said with a smile, “It wasn’t easy, but once she heard the entire story, she believed me. Or at least wanted to. And really, that’s all it takes. Her need for the story to be true made however farfetched it was pale in comparison to the idea that her dead nephew could be coming to see her soon. She’s going to be there waiting for him, and she promised to help him find his dad.”

“Yeah. He’ll need all the help he can get in that department.” I remembered back to my conversations with his dad when I’d tried to convince him Frankie was a ghost in my home. It hadn’t gone well.

“I know, honey. That’s why I had to do what I could to help him, and taking a chance on his aunt, and hoping she had some maternal heartstrings I could pull on—it was the only thing I could think of. Toby helped too, you know.”

“What?”
Toby?

“Yeah, baby, he helped Frankie get a driver’s license with a new name. Stuff like that.”

Oh. “Well, thank you, Mom.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I think we both knew this was coming. I just… I love him, I really do, but I don’t know if it’s the kind of love that moves you forward or holds you back. Does that make sense?”

“More than you know. When did my little girl become so wise?”

“I’m not wise, Mom.”

“You are, baby. Have a little faith in yourself.”

She pulled me to the couch and we sat down a few feet away from each other. Simultaneously, we tucked our feet up underneath us and turned to face one another, our actions proving to anyone outside of the two of us how very related we were.

“Ever, honey, I’m so sorry for lying to you all these years. What can I tell you? What do you want to know? I’ll answer any questions you have.”

My first question was
why
Ariadne of all people, but obviously I couldn’t ask that. And I didn’t want to make my mom feel bad about how shitty her other daughter was. It really wasn’t her fault, since she didn’t get to raise her and everything. I mean, for all my mom knew, she was…

“Wait. Did you really think Estelle—I mean, Ariadne—was dead all these years? Or was that just part of the lie?” The questions came out slightly snarky, which wasn’t my intention, but there they were.

Sadness smoothed my mother’s features, cloaking her in softness. She looked down at the ground, then squeezed my hand. She didn’t have to say anything; I knew the answer. She truly thought her daughter had been dead all these years. Wow. I thought back to my idea of Ted being the devil, and now it didn’t seem too far-fetched. How could he do that to her? How could he let her hurt like that all these years? Then I remembered something he said.
‘We developed a plan.’

Oh my God. We.

“Dad knew.”

Tears welled up in my mom’s eyes again. “Yes. It would appear that he did.”

So, Ted wasn’t the only one at fault here. “Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t you start apologizing to me. Daddy shouldn’t have been lying to me, and we shouldn’t have been lying to you. I’ve raised you to be honest, always, and here I was lying to you the entire time.” She looked down again. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“I hate her, Mom.” My hand flew over my mouth, but the words were already out.

“Oh, honey, this isn’t her fault, you must understand that. Estel—
Ariadne
—is just as innocent as you are in all of this.”

Innocent
and
Ariadne
had no business being in the same room together, let alone the same sentence. They didn’t even share the same plane of existence.

“But that’s just it, Mom. She’s
anything
but innocent. She’s horrible.”

“Well, I know that she’s Toby’s ex-girlfriend, and that’s never a good way to start a relationship, but you have to give her a chance. We both do.”

“I can’t, Mom. It’s more than who she is to Toby, who she was—that part doesn’t matter. What about what she did to Frankie? What she did to me?” My thoughts were all over the place. My mind raced in an effort to understand why my mom had so easily accepted this, how she’d so easily forgotten the fact that Ariadne was the reason I had less than a year left to live. “And now, with the Seekers…she’s the cause of all of this, Mom. And so much more. There’s so much you still don’t know. Stuff about Toby, and his mom.”

“I know a bit more than you realize, but those things can wait. Right now I want to focus on us. I want us to be okay, Ever. I need us to be okay.”

She squeezed my hands, watching me with wide, pleading eyes. A loud, pounding on the front door stopped our conversation dead in its tracks. My heart thumped in my chest as Toby’s frantic voice carried through the house.

“Ever! Are you home? I need to talk to you! Please open up!”

My mom quickly left my bedroom for the front door, and I followed her, stopping in the doorway to the living room as Toby rushed inside. He stopped just a few feet away from me, his wide eyes searching my face, then tightening as he probably noticed the dried tear streaks and redness around my eyes. I’m sure I was a mess.

“I’m okay. What’s up?” I wasn’t completely okay. But I would be.

“They’re almost here. The Seekers. Ever, we have to get you out of here.”

“How do you know?”

Toby scanned the empty room around me, and I realized with a shiver that he had a direct connection to the world of lost spirits and wandering ghosts.

“They
talk
to you?” I whispered.

“No, not really. Not always. But they’re agitated”—his eyes darted around my living room once more—“We have to keep moving. We’ve stayed in one place too long.”

My mom pulled me to her in a strong embrace, then kissed me on the head and quickly pulled away. “Go with Toby, honey. You have to. I’ll find you soon.” She released me and headed to my room. “You have to pack some things. Come on. I’ll get started.”

“What? Mom? Wait!” I looked at Toby. “What’s going on? She’s not even upset?” I shook my head, trying to clear my mind and make sense of everything.

“Ted was here late last night, Ever. I think your mom knows more than you thought,” Toby answered, mimicking similar words my mom had spoken just a few seconds earlier. “And she’s right. Either way, you have to pack, and we have to go.”

“What? I don’t understand. Where will we go?”

It was what I had planned all along, to run away with Toby, but now that it was actually happening, I couldn’t control the shock…or the fear…that now gripped me.

“There’s no time. If the Seekers are almost here, we have to go. We need more time to figure out how to beat the clock, and you have to stay hidden until we figure it out. As long as we keep moving, not staying in one place for too long…I can’t let them take you. You understand that, right? I’ve failed you so many times.”

“No, I mean, I can’t leave yet. I still have to—”

“Dammit, Ever!” Greg shouted as he entered the front door. “Just go with Toby, okay? You don’t have a choice right now, and we don’t have time for you to be stubborn!”

Jessie entered behind Greg, her eyes rimmed with redness and tears.

“Greg? Jessie? What are you guys doing here?”

“I called them. I knew you’d want to say goodbye. But there’s not much time. Where’s Frankie?”

“He’s gone.”
As if you didn’t already know that…

“Ever!” my mom shouted from my room. “Hurry up and come pack!”

Jessie grabbed my hand, pulling me toward my room. “Come on, Ev!”

I followed Jessie down the hall, meeting my hurried mother in my room. I heard Greg and Toby in the kitchen opening drawers and cabinets and talking in a hushed, urgent tone.

My mom had two large duffle bags open, both of them overflowing with clothes. Jessie wasted no time running into my bathroom to collect my toiletries and makeup.

As I watched the chaos around me, I realized I hadn’t even had a chance to unpack after the Mexico trip from hell.

“Wait!”

My mom and Jessie both turned to me, stunned by my outburst.

“I haven’t even unpacked yet. And where am I going? Do you know? Because I sure don’t! I don’t even know what I’ll need!”

A silly worry for a silly girl, but this was all I could muster. Everything was happening too fast, and it seemed like it happened around me, but I wasn’t actually a part of it. My life whipped around like a tornado, and I was helpless to stop it.

Jessie stepped forward and took my face in her hands. “Ever, I love you, but you have to stop being stubborn, and you can’t worry about what you’ll wear at a time like this.”
Says my fashionista best friend.
“Your mom is packing everything you’ll need, and Toby will take care of the rest, okay? Greg says we’re going to meet up with you soon, if we can, but for now, you have to go alone.”

“Jessie, how are you so calm? What do you know?”

“I don’t know much more than you, if anything, but I trust Greg. And if he says you and Toby have to go, then I believe him.” She handed me jeans, a tank-top, and a hoodie, without meeting my eyes.

She was hiding something.

I opened my mouth to argue with her when she held an outfit in front of me and said, “Here, put this on so I can throw your jammies in one of those bags.”

I did as I was told, pulling on jeans and a gray hoodie over a white tank-top, and Jessie handed my discarded pajamas to my mom, who in turn stuffed them into one of the duffels.

“Honey?” My mom stood up and walked over to me with two bags that would barely close because of all the contents. “I promise you that I will find you guys soon. And I promise that when we meet again, we will talk about everything and I will tell you all that you wish know. But for now, you have to trust me. And you have to go with Toby.”

She quickly kissed my cheek, then pulled back to look at me once more. I knew arguing with her—or any of them—would be useless.

“Now, baby,” Mom whispered.

I turned and headed down the hall, my pace quickening as I saw Toby’s expression, his eyes narrowed as he scanned the room around me, watching things—
beings
—I couldn’t see. He met me at the doorway to the living room and grabbed the bags from my hands. Jessie filled my now empty hands with my toiletries bag and a beach bag she’d filled with a jacket and whatever else she’d deemed necessary for my unknown travels.

“We love you,” Jessie said as I flew out the door. “Stay safe! And Toby, if anything happens to my best friend, I will kill you myself.”

“She won’t need to, James, because I’ll do it for her,” Greg said.

When I glanced back at them, my mom looked more worried than I could remember ever seeing her before. Jessie rubbed my mom’s back, and Greg stood with his hand protectively gripping Jessie’s shoulder. My mom’s eyes were wide, and her forehead was creased, and I knew that with that determined, worried look in her eyes, if anything happened to me, she’d kill Toby before Jessie or Greg could think to do it.

As I climbed into the Mustang, Mom inhaled a deep breath and squared her shoulders. With a curt nod, she told me everything would be okay.

I hoped her strength would spread to me soon…because I felt
anything
but okay.