Ethereal Underground (Ethereal Underground Trilogy) (22 page)

“It’s normal for bonded to feel each other’s feelings. The two of you just have to decide if you want to fight it and put up walls, or allow it to be of use to you. The bond makes the two of you an oddity. First bond to be created in thousands of years. I’m sure the Elders aren’t happy about it either. They closed off the seraph realm in order to preserve those of us who wanted to be kept safe from the treachery of…mortals…” she cleared her throat as if to change the subject and continued, “But of course, some of us were left behind and never heard of again. The rest of us tried to move on without being bonded. However, it was never discovered what the missing link was that actually caused the bond. Even when our realms were still connected, creating bonds became more difficult over time. Some tried after the worlds were separated and it never worked. Those seraphs who had left their bonded behind became lonely, filled with mortal emotions and unsure how to deal with them. That’s why counterparts were created. To tend to that part of us that would like a companion, and protect one another. It was also then that the females began to reap the souls and place them in the Grand Hall and the males began to take mortal charges. I do not really know what the point in this was, only the Elders do I suppose.”

“Is there a way to get rid of it?” Ash asked, not moving from his spot or looking up.

Annalise’s heart sunk in her chest, sadness creeping over her and surprising her. He did not want to be around her. He did not want to be able to share feelings with her, be bonded to her. It cut her deeper than she had thought it would, but she had her answer to if he cared for her or not.

“There are rumored ways to end it, but I do not know that you would be willing to try them. We will have to speak of those things another day,
” Natara said, standing up and folding her hands in front of her, “I believe you need to get some rest before we dig out the weapons tomorrow and send you on your way.”

Ash nodded, standing up and walking down the hall without saying a word. Annalise jumped up from her space on the couch, hesitant to follow him but wanting to speak
with him in private. She gave Natara a smile, “Thank you for your information and your help.”

“It’s no problem my dear friend, just watch that
mortal.”

Nodding to the fallen, Annalise walked down the hallway and into the bedroom where she felt the feelings radiating off her friend. She stepped inside the room slowly, feeling slightly uncomfortable to be alone with him with such feelings swarming around her. There was fear, anger, uncertainty, excitement, all wrapped up into one big confusing aura floating over to her.  He was sitting on the edge of the large bed, hands folded in his lap, serious look on his face. She closed the door behind her, considered taking a seat in the chair at the side of the bed, but decided to sit beside him so they could talk.

Folding her hands in her lap to mimic him, she tried to avoid the increasing awkwardness in the room, “I am glad that Natara is helping us on our journey. I will watch over you again so you can sleep. I have this gun now. It shall protect us.” She laughed slightly, pulling it from her pocket and examining it again. Such a weapon was never needed by her before and she really did not even enjoy touching the material that it was made out of. Cold and hard, she moved as if to toss it into the chair by the bed.

“Be careful with a loaded gun,
” Ash scolded. He reached out to grab the gun and set it gently next to his own weapons on a side table.

She placed her palms on her thighs, fingers moving to pick at the fabric on the jumpsuit. Uncertain of what else to say, she stared at her own hands while the feelings from her friend continued to flow to her. She could tell he was trying to hold them back so as not to bother her, but they were so strong, and there were some that she did not understand. She wanted to ask him about them, but she did not want to push him if he was upset.

“Perhaps we should try to contain these feelings?” she asked, pulling one leg up onto the soft fabric and making herself comfortable sitting sideways on the fabric to look at him.

He looked back at her, eyebrows still pulled together in concern as if he were trying to figure something out. After several minutes, he finally nodded, “Sure.”

Annalise let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding, her heart racing the entire time he had been quiet. She turned her hands over, palm up, on her legs, “Take my hands, we will figure this out. If we are to fight, it would be best if you could better manipulate the water when I create it. That should help us. These feelings as well…they are so intense.”

He did as she asked and placed his rough hands on hers, but he continued to look at her. She dropped her eyes from his, focusing on something else other than his intense blue eyes staring back at her. There was no other time she had felt so unsure of herself, so uncertain of what to do or say. They had been alone before and it hadn’t felt like this. There was something about the way he was holding himself, whatever he was thinking, that was making her uncomfortable. Trying to avoid it, she closed her eyes and focused her power to their hands. His skin on hers made the emotions even more intense, but she tried to block it out. For a second, she
opened her eyes to look at him. He was still looking at her with that intense gaze, words on his tongue that he wanted to say.

Annalise tried to glare at him, knowing it wasn’t the most successful expression she had ever tried, “This will not work if you do not take it seriously.”

“I know.”

Dropping her gaze back to their hands, she gave his a slight squeeze and he let out a sound of disapproval. She muttered an apology, realizing his hand was still injured, and pulled her hands out from under his. He was making this much more difficult than it needed to be. His short answers and unwillingness to show any sensible emotions had her so
confused. “I, um, need to heal you. I am sorry I have not done it earlier. I just, I do not know…” Letting her voice trail off, she held her palms over his hand and let her power fulfill her. It was the second time she had shone bright around him, but the only time he had been able to see it without being close to death. The light underneath her hands shone onto his and she began mumbling her blessings to work her magic. Healing his hand was simple, nothing compared to bringing him back from the brink of death. She smiled in approval as she moved her hand from his to see his healed hand underneath.

Suddenly, Ash grabbed her hands, and she looked up at him in question. “What are you doing?” she asked, trying to pull her hand away from him. She wondered what she had done to upset him, not understanding why he would be upset with her for helping him. Those emotions she did not understand were making her so confused, he was upset, but
yet he was not.

“Are you going to do what Leon asked you to? Are you going to kill me?”

“What?” she exclaimed, shock coming over her face as she looked up into his worried eyes. It was obvious to her now that he had stewed over this since they had left her realm, but she had been trying to ignore this connection and hadn’t realized it. She had to make him understand, there was no way she would do that. He was her friend. They were in this together. She owed him that because she cared about him. More than she had allowed herself to admit before. It hit her then, these feelings that she was having for him. “No, I would never. Ash, I think-”

Annalise wasn’t able to finish her sentence, because he was leaning in to her, his eyes closing as he closed the distance between them. She froze, her body unable to move in anticipation of what was about to happen. She felt her heartbeat speed up as his face inched closer. He had
leaned in like this previously, on the beach, but only kissed her hand. Annalise felt her body begin to tremble once again, but she hoped he would not stop this time.  His lips connected with hers then, sending a thrill of electricity through her body. She felt him run his hands up her arms and take her face in his hands. Her hands moved up to his arms to steady herself, doing the best she could to kiss him back. It wasn’t something she had done before, and she could only hope that it was correct. He pulled her closer to him, so she assumed it was just fine. Deepening the kiss, she tried to follow his lead. He was slow and steady, not rough and quick like Leon had been in their quick goodbye, but Annalise could feel the passion in it. He was letting out all of the things he hadn’t said to her, and she in return was showing him how she felt about him. If he wouldn’t let her say it, she would show him.

She let him lead her, moving his hands back down her body and eliciting shivers throughout her skin. Had he
r wings been there, they would have presented some problem, he continued to move his mouth against hers and pull her closer to him. Running her hands up his chest, she wrapped them around the back of his neck and pulled herself closer to him. She found her breath coming quicker with each movement, odd sensations rolling over in her stomach.

“Ash,” she whispere
d, making him pause to look at her as he played his hands along her side.

“Yes?”

Again with the short answers, but this time his voice was softer, those intense angry emotions fading away.

“I do not want you to hate me.”

“Anna, I don’t hate you,” he said with a laugh, a lazy smile coming over his face as he leaned down to kiss her again.

This must be what mortals speak of when they write about bliss in their poetry. This need to just be held by the one you care about. Being in his arms now made her realize that she had longed for it since the time they had met. She had thought several times of the way he held himself, of how
blue his eyes were, his adorable smile when he would joke around with her or think she was funny because of her cluelessness.  She trusted him, with everything she was, in a different way than she had Leon. It wasn’t just with her safety and loyalty, but her heart as well. She was a part of his life now, and he was a part of hers, whether or not either of them wanted to admit to it. They would never be the same again, and she knew it.

As their kisses became more urgent, he pulled her closer to him and continued to kiss her. She didn’t want to speak again, ruin what they had as his kisses moved down her neck. But she couldn’t help herself, there were so many bad things that could happen the next day and she felt like they needed to talk about them. “One of us could die tomorrow, Ash,” she said, breath coming slightly labored as she pushed at him.

He pulled back from her and shook his head. His hand came up to cup her face, his finger caressing the side of her face as he spoke, “I know, Anna, and I don’t want any regrets. I’ve not been able to get you out of my mind since I met you. I know you say that us being together is forbidden, but we’re already on the run…and I don’t want to miss out on this connection we have. Do you?”

She considered it for a second. If he died tomorrow when they went on their journey, would she regret the choice to not spend time with him, just enjoying his company and his lips on hers? She cared about him, that much was clear now. As much as she knew this could never work and she wanted to be home so badly, she knew she could never forgive herself if she let this opportunity pass her by. The inability of herself to pull away from him, look away from his eyes now, showed her that he had changed her life.

“No, I do not. Just be patient with me,” she said softly, still concerned she would do or say something wrong.

He laughed, lowering his eyes to meet hers, “I’m not even worried about it. I will take care of you. You are safe with me.”

It was something that she already knew, because he had never been anything but protective of her. Annalise gave him her best smile and nodded, happy and content where she was for the first time since she had brought his soul back. He kissed her again, more passionately, as his hands moved around her neck. She wrapped her arms around him in response and tried to pull him closer, unable to think clearly as his fingers began to undo the knot at the base of her hair. She began to feel self-conscious. She reached up to stop him, feeling more nervous as he was surely more sure of himself than she was.

“
Trust me,” his voice cooed as he let go of the fabric and took her hands in his. He placed kisses down her knuckles and looked deeply into her eyes.

Annalise felt the breath catch in her throat as he pressed their hands to his stomach. She grasped the bottom of his shirt and he nodded. She pulled it upwards, slowly, anxiously, her hands trembling as he dipped his head to allow her to remove it. Tossing it off to the side, she allowed herself to take in his chiseled and tanned form, the muscles moving along his body as he leaned forward to kiss her neck again. She closed her eyes as electricity ran through her body as he did so.

“Ash,” his name slipped from her lips and her fingers played up his body and gripped his shoulders firmly. This was where she belonged, she was sure, in his arms and with him. Bonded and together. Until they would be forced to separate. She just hoped that he would ask her to stay so they could be like this again, and live in love with each other. She knew now, that this feeling every time he came near was love, and that she never wanted that to stop. That’s all she wanted as his hands glazed softly against her skin and she lost herself in the sweet smell and indulgent touch of his body.

Ash

Ash wandered through the familiar tunnels outside of Natara’s home. He knew each turn and path to take as he slowly made his way through the dirt, rock, and metal. He wasn’t planning on going far; he just needed to get some energy out. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Jedzia. Her face as that cowl-eating fallen snapped her neck.  Ash felt bad for sneaking out of the bed with Annalise. He knew she didn’t need to rest, but they had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. He hadn’t felt a connection with another person like this before. Most of the other girls he had been around were just a way to have fun or pass the time. The girls would always come running to him after a fight. They were pushy, and didn’t require any thought on his part. Sleep wouldn’t come to him, however, guilt crept in every time he closed his eyes. Guilt for the part he played in Jedzia’s death. Guilt for dragging innocent Annalise into his revenge trip and getting her banished, and unfortunately, guilt for kissing her. Who was he kidding? He had been holding back his feelings for her since the moment she saved his life. He had tried keeping those feelings in the back of his mind where had they stewed and ate at the brick wall he had built; until finally he had given in and kissed her. The moment she told him that she wouldn’t kill him, he had been so sublimely happy. There was no way he couldn’t
not
do it. Being with her was probably the biggest mistake he had ever made, and he had made a lot of them over the years. He didn’t care though, today he was happy and that was all that mattered. He had strayed from everything he had been taught to be able to do these things, and feel these things. Why had he defied the Officials if not to fall in love or do what he wanted?  If he could only get this fallen mess behind him, he could focus on Annalise and him. Maybe he could convince her to keep the bond. Ash stopped walking as he realized he had made a wrong turn somewhere. Everything around him looked the same, but he had to be close to the house. In front and behind of him were nothing but metal walls. He hadn’t been paying attention; just lost in his thoughts as usual, and this had become all too normal for him. He felt his spine tingle as his keeper instincts kicked in. Someone was close by. Ash put his hand up, ready to fight whoever or whatever was around the corner. Creatures normally lurked in the tunnels, but Ash wasn’t scared. He could take seven of them with no weapons and not even break a sweat. He slowly took a step forward, turning the corner to jump out and face his opponent. Instead of a hideous creature, he came face to face with an old friend. Anger and hate showed plainly on the man’s face. Ash didn’t dare lower his gaze, instead he looked right into Jaron’s dark eyes. Jaron’s brown hair stuck up around his head like a thorny crown and his eyes were bloodshot and tired.

“Jaron,” he acknowledged.

Growing up as a keeper, it was like growing up in a different world. They weren’t allowed contact with the outside layers. They only knew each other and the higher Officials. There were no parents, family or fun allowed. The days consisted of schooling, training, eating, and sleeping. On the occasional days off, Jaron and him would sneak off from the keeper conservatory and get into whatever mischief they could find. Swimming in the manmade ocean, hitching a spaceship ride with a trader, sometimes they would even lie out under the night sky and watch the dozens of planets in the sky. The same planets that brought war and destruction to their sector of the galaxy, these were the planets they fought. They had grown up being taught that keepers were the glue holding the planet together. Without them, the planet would be taken over. The citizens were safe underground, while the keepers kept the war off of the surface. Ash shook his head slightly as he thought about all the lies he had been fed growing up. The keeper’s intentions might have started off as honorable, but these days they spent more time trying to control the people than actually saving them.  Keeping the peace wasn’t an easy job, most of the time. Ash had to turn the other cheek and do things he felt were wrong, all because the Officials had given him orders.  He had been ordered to stop traders from bring supplies to the lowest layers. He had been ordered to take out rebels in the underground. He took orders, they all took orders. These days, no one was giving him orders and he liked it. He savored the way his freedom tasted. Now he savored something else entirely: revenge. Jaron has been the one to turn Ash in; he had betrayed him all so he could get in good with the Officials. The past couple of years; Jaron only cared about power. With Ash out of the way, Jaron had a better chance becoming Jedzia’s partner and a better chance at becoming an Official. The day Ash had been chosen to train for an Official position over Jaron, was the day Jaron had turned his back on their years of friendship.

“Feeling the guilt yet Ash?” Jaron asked. He looked rough with his long black coat and dirty boots.

“I didn’t know they would follow me there. You have to believe me; I would never do anything to hurt my friends.” Ash tried not to let his emotions show; he didn’t want to give Jaron the satisfaction. If Jaron let his guard down, it gave Ash the advantage to attack.

Jaron laughed and rubbed his unshaven chin with his hand. 
“
How did he even get down here? He must have followed us from the bar and hid in the tunnels,”
Ash thought. He silently cursed, he should have stayed hidden.

“You don’t care about anyone but yourself. That’s why the Officials are looking for you, and that’s why I’m going to bring your dead body back to them.”  Ash felt his fists start to ball up, Jaron had hit a nerve. Ash had no idea how the fallen tracked him and Annalise down since she was teleporting. Still somehow they had found the keeper nook.

“I’m not going to listen to this.” Ash held his hands up and tried to take a step around Jaron, but Jaron followed his move and blocked him. “Don’t do anything you are going to regret. I am going to kill that fallen,” Ash told him.

Jaron’s right arm swung out to knock Ash down, but Ash was a keeper and he knew exactly how Jaron fought. He grabbed Jaron’s forearm tightly before pushing him away.