Eternal (Eternal series) (28 page)

“
I guess not,” Destry blurted through his laughter.  “Maybe you should give it another try.”

“
Do you have a helmet in your truck?”  Emma asked, starting to laugh herself.  “I think I might need one, those little stinkers are hard.”

Destry laughed harder, his eyes were starting to water.  “They are called sinkers, not stinkers,” he was gripping his stomach with both hands now.

“I know,” Emma said, still rubbing her head.

He took three steps toward her and wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up off the ground and hugging her.  He was still laughing, but Emma had stopped.  She had to resist the urge to hug him back.  She wanted to badly, and that confused her even more. 

Emma couldn’t bring herself to push him away again, so she waited for him to set her down.  He finally did, and he looked her straight in the face, only inches away.  He wasn’t laughing anymore, but he was still smiling hugely.

“
Are you mad at me for laughing?” Destry questioned her as he took in her face.

“
No,” Emma murmured, looking down.

“
Then what’s wrong?  You’re not embarrassed are you?”

“
A little,” she spoke quietly, peering up at him from under her lashes.  It was the best excuse for her behavior she could come up with for the moment. 

Emma couldn’t hurt him, couldn’t tell him the truth.  Letting him believe that her immediate problem was mere embarrassment seemed like the best solution for now.  She justified it by telling herself that she was sparing his feelings.

How much longer could she put it off though?  The heartbreak was inevitable.  Emma knew that dragging it out was just making it worse, but she couldn’t stop. 

She was a horrible person for not being able to leave this poor boy alone.  She needed to let him move on and find someone else to woo with his warm touch, dazzling smile and beautiful eyes. 

That was part of the problem actually, Emma couldn’t stand the thought of him moving on, or finding someone else, even though she knew that's what had to happen.

Destry placed his hands on Emma's shoulders, pulling her back to the here and now.  “Don’t be embarrassed,” he whispered.  “I think you’re adorable, and that really was a good first try, no joke.”

“I’m fine,” she assured him.  “It’s getting late though, and I need to make dinner.”

“
I need to get back too,” he grinned slyly, “I have a date tonight.”

Emma had forgotten all about that.  She couldn’t believe he still wanted to go out.  They'd already spent the whole afternoon together. 

“Oh really,” she finally said. “Who’s it with?”

“
Just the most beautiful girl in school,” Destry said confidently.

“
Yeah, whatever,” Emma mumbled, looking down and kicking the dirt with her toe.

Destry reached over and took her chin in his hand, tilting her face up towards his so he could look into her eyes.  “It’s the truth,” he said softly.  “That’s how I see you.”

“I really don't get it,” Emma admitted. “You could have any girl in the school.”

“
When I moved here I wasn't looking for a girlfriend Emma,” Destry said, sounding exasperated, “I thought I was already complete and I was happy with who I was.  But I ended up finding something I didn't know I was even missing.  You're exactly what I needed, you make me feel whole.”

Emma could feel her face turning red.  She wasn’t any better at taking a compliment than she was at being insulted. 

Emma finally snorted, “It’s a free country I guess. You're free to believe whatever you want, whether it’s true or not.”

“
You are so strange Emma,” Destry smiled at her, releasing her chin.

“
I know, I’ve heard that before,” she said.

“
Come on, let’s go.” He grabbed the pole and tackle box and they headed back in the direction of his truck. 

Destry took Emma's hand again and led her up the hill.  He didn’t release it this time when they reached the top.

It felt awkward having his fingers intertwined with hers, but strangely comforting at the same time.  Emma didn’t want him to hold her hand, but she didn’t want him to let go either. 

She was a walking contradiction. 
I really am strange
, she thought.

Destry tossed the fishing gear into the back of his truck and opened the driver’s side door for Emma again.  She slid in, not bothering to scoot over as far this time. 

Destry hopped in and started the truck and they headed back down the bumpy road toward her car.

Chapter 23:  BATTLE

“I’ll see ya later then?” Destry asked casually, as he placed Emma's quilt back in her car.

“
Are you sure?  You just endured a whole afternoon with me, aren’t you sick of me yet?”  Emma questioned.

“
I don’t think I could ever get sick of you, Emma,” Destry chuckled, “you’re too much fun!”

“
I’m glad I entertain you,” Emma muttered sarcastically.

“
I’ll pick you up around seven,” he called back, as he walked toward his truck.

“
Great,” Emma answered, and then mumbling to herself, “let’s just dig the hole deeper, so you’ll never get out Emma.” 

Destry waited for Emma to start her car then pulled away from the meadow.

Emma watched as his truck disappeared in a cloud of dust around the bend. She slowly edged her car forward onto the dirt road toward home. 

What was she going to do?  Emma's mind was swirling again and her chest ached.  These few hours spent with Destry had been some of the most confusing of her entire life.  How could she feel these kinds of feelings when she was with him?

The stress of the impending decision was taking a toll on her.  She felt jittery and weak.  She was having a hard time focusing, and felt as if she might start hyperventilating at any moment.  She began taking deep breaths in and out, trying to calm her hammering heart that threatened to bust through her rib cage.

Emma reached over and turned the radio up as loud as it would go.  She didn't want to think.  The noise helped to overpower her conflicting thoughts.  Her eardrums pounded and her head hurt but at least that made it hard to think about anything else.

Emma drove extra slow down the dirt road; she didn’t want to catch up with Destry.  Gradually she noticed everything in the cab of her car beginning to get fuzzy.  The air seemed to be hot and moving like in a mirage.  Maybe she was about to pass out from all the stress.              

There was a discernible shimmering. 

“Holy Cow!”  She screamed, and skidded off the road coming to a stop in a cloud of dust.

Sitting in the seat right next to her, was Micah. He simply stared at her with his perfect eyes, and a questioning look.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”  Emma screeched.

“
I’m sorry Emma.  I didn’t know I would startle you that way.”

“
Well how did you think I would react to someone suddenly showing up in my car while it was moving?” she demanded.

“
I said your name a couple of times before I appeared.  Did you not hear me?”  Micah asked curiously.

“
No, I didn’t,” Emma sighed, trying to calm her erratically beating heart.

“
That’s been happening a lot lately,” he said with an air of accusation.

“
I’m sorry Micah.  I’ve had a lot on my mind I guess.”  Emma didn’t want him to be upset with her.  She stared at his perfect face, and smiled softly.  He looked oddly out of place sitting there in her ratty old car in all of his perfection.  “Did you need me for something specific?”

“
No, I was just thinking about you.  We don’t get to talk the way we used to,”
he said pointedly.  “I miss our easy conversations—I miss you.”

“
We just talked last night.”

“
You’re right, but I had the feeling you were irritated with me.”

“
You weren’t there when I needed you,” Emma said quietly.  “I was afraid you might not come back.”

“
I’m sorry about that.  I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“
I really needed you to confirm your feelings.  I need to know where this is going for sure.”  Emma looked into his deep blue eyes, hoping she hadn’t offended him.

“
Why do we have to rush things Emma?”  He said, irritated at being cornered.

“
Don’t you remember what I told you before Micah?  I don’t have endless amounts of time like you do.  I need to live life while it’s here, before it moves past me!”  Why was he having such a hard time telling her his feelings?

“
I’m sorry my slow pace torments you,” he said, no feeling in his voice.

“
I need to know Micah,” Emma stated firmly.

“
Is it because you were with Destry today?”  His words had a hint of accusation, but he held eye contact, showing no emotion on his lovely face.

“
Does it really matter?”   Why did he keep coming back to the Destry thing?

“
It does matter, actually.”

“
Why, Micah?  Why can’t you just answer my questions and leave Destry out of it?  Are you jealous?  Are you angry that I spend time with him?  Are you hoping I’ll forget about you?”

“
No,” he said flatly.

“
What do you mean no?  Which part of my question are you answering?”

“
I’m answering all of it,” he said simply.

“
So you’re not jealous, and you’re not angry….”

“
And I don’t want you to forget about me,” he interjected with his velvet voice.

Emma stared at him, confusion twisting her face.  If Micah didn’t want her to forget about him, but he wasn’t jealous of Destry, then where did he stand?

“I’m still confused,” she said meekly, “you never answered my first question.  What exactly do you want from me?  What do you need me to be for you?  I don’t want you to leave me, but I don‘t know what my role is in all of this.”

“
I won’t leave you Emma,” he spoke calmly.  “I just want you to be you.  That’s all I need from you.”

“
But that’s not all I need from you!” Emma demanded.

“
I told you from the beginning that this would be difficult.  If this isn't enough for you, you're free to walk away.  We can’t have any more of a relationship than we have right now, we're from different worlds.”

“
But you can touch me,” Emma argued.

“
Not in the way that you need it.”

“
We could work something out.  Last night, all those things you said, they made me think you wanted this too.”

“
I want you to be happy Emma, that’s all I want.”

“
You make me happy,” she yielded to his glowing perfection.  She didn't want to fight with him. She was worn out from the constant back and forth of her mind.

He reached out and stroked her face, sending tingles through her body.  “You make me happy too.”  His voice was soft.

Emma smiled at him and reached out to touch his face.  Her hand felt him, but there was nothing really there.  It was like sticking your finger into water.

“
You’d better get home,” he reminded her.

“
I guess you’re right,” Emma sighed.  She tried to push the empty feeling from her mind.  “My mom will be upset if there’s no dinner.”

He reached his finger out and ran it along her cheek again.  It felt like a feather tickling the tiny hairs that covered her skin, but she couldn’t really feel it.  It was more like a whisper of a feeling. 

An almost indiscernible look of pain and longing crossed his face before his form became fuzzy and tiny points of light replaced the air where he had appeared to be just moments before.  Emma watched him break apart, feeling the sadness of his leaving break her into pieces as well.

“
I love you, Emma,”
came the echo of his voice, and he was gone.

Emma's heart did a few flips in her chest.  Micah loved her.  He did have feelings for her. 

Emma felt light as air, almost weightless.  She talked to an angel, she saw him, and he loved her. 

Then Emma remembered there was another boy that made her feel the same way.



Destry's breathing finally slowed as he reached his house and got out of his truck, closing the door and leaning against it. 

For some reason his heart had started racing the moment he'd left Emma at her car.  He was really in deep.  Something about this girl had him being thrown for loops.