Eternal (Eternal series) (22 page)

But the replay was always slightly different, a twisted version of the reality. 

Emma knew deep down that these pictures and feelings that were being played back were the secret thoughts and feelings swirling around inside her head, the ones she didn’t let out while she was conscious.

This last one was especially disturbing.  In it, Micah was holding her hand, and Emma was beaming with happiness.  She could actually picture him now that she knew what he looked like.  His touch was no more than a feeling of warmth and electricity across her skin. 

Then, just like all the other times, she realized she was going to have to leave, and give up everything that this life with Micah held for her.  She was being pulled once again.  But the thought that hurt Emma the most this time, was telling Destry the truth.  She didn’t want to leave him either.  If only she could figure out what it was that was pulling her, then maybe she could find a way to stay where she truly wanted to be.

Emma's heart felt like it was tearing.  She couldn’t let go of Micah’s hand, but at the same time she couldn’t bear the pain of saying goodbye to Destry, she needed him too. Emma wanted the best of both worlds, but there was no way to have them both. Her mind was at war with her heart.  Emma didn’t know how either one could win, without the casualties being too much to live with.

Why was the thought of leaving Destry so disturbing anyway?  She wanted to be with Micah forever… right?  He was her angel. 

This was a war that couldn’t be won and she didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, but she had no choice.  Emma was the cause of it all.  She had unknowingly brought it upon herself and now it was too late to turn back the clock and start over.

Emma still felt exhausted when she got up for school.  Luckily it was Friday so she'd have the whole weekend to recover.  If she could make it through today without falling asleep in class she'd have it made.

She pulled into the parking lot and slid into her usual spot.  As she opened her door to get out, she had to quickly pull it closed again for the truck pulling into the space next to hers.  It just so happened to be a gray Chevy step-side.  What a coincidence.  Not!

Destry jumped out of his truck and came trotting over to Emma's car and opened her door for her.  "Hey there stranger," he said in a pleasant voice.

"Are you stalking me or something?"  Emma asked as she climbed out and maneuvered around the car door.  Destry didn't move out of her way, she was almost pressed up against him by the time she got around enough to close the door.

"Of course.  That's what crazy people do before they kidnap someone," Destry grabbed Emma from behind around the waist and picked her up off the ground.

Emma's ticklish spot was on her hips, and she couldn't stand being touched there without laughing.  She started to squeal and kick and laugh all at the same time.  "Put me down," she managed to say between the laughter.

Destry sat her down on her feet and spun her around to face him, still holding her around the waist.  He was so close that Emma could feel his erratic heartbeat through his chest.

"Are you really going to kidnap me?"  Emma asked to break the strange current flowing between them.

"You never know, I just might," he said grinning.

Emma noticed other kids around them, staring as they passed by.  She pushed Destry's hands off her waist and pulled her shirt down.  She'd become disheveled when he'd picked her up like a rag doll.

"Then I think it would be best if I stayed away from you," she said, teasing.

"That's probably the safest option," he replied, "but what fun would that be?"

"I don't know how much fun it would be, but it would definitely be a challenge.  You're pretty good at sneaking up on me," Emma said.

"I am pretty sneaky," he said with a sly smile, "all those years of playing steal the flag at Scout camp really paid off."

"Apparently," Emma couldn't help but be mesmerized by Destry's confidence, and his smile, and his charm.  "I'm going to run away from you now, because good little girls aren't supposed to talk to scary kidnappers."

"Okay then, I'm not a scary kidnapper anymore.  Now I'm a helpful Boy Scout, and I'm here to help you across this big parking lot safely ma'am," he said, as he gave Emma the Boy Scout salute. 

Emma smiled and rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say."

Destry and Emma made their way through the parking lot towards the school.  Every once in a while, Destry would put his hand on Emma's back like he was guiding her through a dangerous area.  Emma didn't mind him touching her so much anymore.  She'd grown used to the tingles that ran over her when their skin met.

After they entered the front doors Emma turned to go left to her locker.  Destry's locker was to the right.  "I guess this is where we part," Emma said dramatically like she was quoting a movie, "thank you for your help young man."

"Any time ma'am," Destry said, tipping an imaginary hat at her.

Emma turned quickly and walked away.  She was going to be late for class, and all the stares were making her wish she could disappear.

When school was out, Destry was waiting by Emma's car when she came out of the building.  She hesitated, but then strode forward to meet him.

"Did you have a good day?" he asked sweetly.

"I guess, if you call seven hours of note taking and being lectured at "good."  I prefer to think of it as torture, but to each his own."  Emma smirked.

"So, I know you're busy tonight, but how about Saturday?" Destry asked, staring into Emma's eyes.

It was hard to come up with an excuse with him looking at her like that.  "Actually," she lied, "I'm going to be at my Grandma's house all day Saturday.  I promised I'd help her get some spring cleaning done." 

Destry had a defeated look on his face now, and Emma wondered if he could tell that she was lying about Gram's house.  She couldn't bear to have him look like that. 

"I'm free Monday night though," she said with a smile.

Destry's face lit up. "Perfect," he said, "I have that day off work.  I'll pick you up right after school okay?"

"Sounds good," Emma said.  "I'll see ya then.  Have a good weekend."

"You too," he said, "have fun studying and cleaning," he pulled a face to show that he didn't think that sounded like much fun, and Emma chuckled, climbing into her car and shutting the door.

Chapter 18:  ALONE

Emma got up with the sun the next morning.  This was uncharacteristic behavior for a Saturday; normally she loved to sleep in.  But she’d been up most of the night thinking about Destry and Micah.  Her thoughts had been warring with each other again and she couldn’t stay in bed any longer.  She got dressed and went to the kitchen.  She grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard and chewed it quickly, washing it down with a glass of orange juice. Her mom had already left for work and Cody was in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating a heaping bowl of cereal.

“I’m going to Gram’s," she called to Cody, mostly as a courtesy.  She knew he didn’t care what she was doing, but it felt rude to walk out the door without saying anything.

“
Whatever, nerd," Cody said with his mouth full.

Emma ignored him and grabbed her jacket off the back of the kitchen chair and slipped out the door.

Going to help Gram was a pretty normal thing for Emma to do.  She used to hang out there almost every Saturday before she met Micah. Saturday’s around Eden had never been very exciting.  There wasn’t much to do.  The only source of excitement was the tourists who sometimes drifted in from the surrounding ski resorts or those who came to fish the reservoir.  But they were always here today, gone tomorrow.

She felt guilty for not spending as much time at Gram’s lately but she had been so pre-occupied with Micah and now Destry that Gram had fallen by the wayside.  She told herself that’s why she was going to Gram’s today, but she knew that most of it was that she’d told Destry that’s where she was going and she didn't want to be a liar.

Gram found plenty of stuff to keep her busy.  She must have been making up for lost time.  Emma was gone all day and when she got home she only had enough energy to throw a frozen pizza in the oven and collapse into a chair while it baked.

All through dinner she chewed her nails and stared off into space.

“Are you okay honey?” Catherine worried about the distant look in Emma’s eyes.

“
Hmmm?” Emma said, barely noticing that her mother had spoken.

“
I asked if you were okay,” her mom repeated.  “You look like something is wrong.”

“
No I’m fine,” Emma lied.  “I’m just really tired, that’s all.”

“
Well that’s understandable.  If there’s anyone who can run a person ragged in one afternoon, it’s your Grandma.”

“
Yeah,” Emma agreed lightly, losing her mom’s voice in the muddle of her thoughts.

Emma decided that there was no way she was going to be able to avoid her mother’s concern any longer.  She pushed her unfinished pizza slice away from her and got up from the table.

“Good night mom,” she said softly and bent down to kiss her mother’s cheek.  “I’m bushed, I’ll see ya in the morning, okay?”

“
Sure,” Catherine replied with an anxious look on her face.  “Get some sleep.  Sweet dreams.”

“
Thanks,” Emma mumbled.  She hoped that her dreams would be sweet for once.

Even though she was totally worn out, she still had trouble falling asleep. 

She couldn't stop thinking about Micah and Destry.  It seemed they couldn't occupy the same thought; her mind warred back and forth between the two of them.

How could she have let things get this far out of her control?  

Had there been a purpose to Micah’s putting her and Destry together?  Was it something Emma had needed to experience in her life, or was it meant to be some sort of trial? 

It made Emma mad to think there may have been no purpose behind it all, because now it was making her life very difficult.

She wondered if confronting Micah about it would help, or make it worse.  Emma decided she had nothing to lose by giving it a try.  

“
Micah,” Emma called softly. 

There was no reply, no shimmer of the air around her to announce Micah's presence.  It seemed she'd been left wondering where he was a lot lately. 

“Micah, where are you?”

Emma was starting to get a little irritated sitting alone in the dark in the middle of the night waiting for Micah to show up.  She started to worry that maybe his absence had something to do with showing himself to her.  Maybe he had regrets; maybe he'd changed his mind about taking their relationship to the next level.

It didn‘t really matter what his problem may be; he at least owed Emma the courtesy of answering her. 

She tried hard to quiet her internal ranting.  Her eyes were heavy with sleep, or the lack of, and she eventually drifted off.

Something must have awakened Emma, because she didn’t remember dreaming this time, but her eyes shot open.  She rubbed them, and sat up trying to focus as she peered around the dark room.  Nothing. 

She glanced at the clock…4:27 a.m.  Her sleep cycles were really messed up.

Emma felt a wave of warmth wash over her.  Micah had finally decided to grace her with his presence. 

Emma was a little upset that he'd waited until now.  Where had he been before?

“You’re here,” Emma stated, trying to push the agitation out of her voice.

“
Did I wake you?”

“
Where were you?” Emma kept her voice quiet, trying not to sound accusing.

“
I’m sorry Emma, I’m late aren’t I?”
His voice was smooth, but she sensed an underlying tone of guilt.

“
I thought you weren’t coming,” Emma mumbled.

“
Did you need me?”
Micah was avoiding the subject, so Emma decided not to push it.

“
I just wanted to talk.  I was having trouble sleeping,” she yawned involuntarily.

“
Are you too tired?  I could come back later if you need to sleep.”

“
No," Emma said a little too quickly.  "I don’t think I could fall back to sleep anyway,” she added, hoping to hide the desperation in her voice.

“
Okay then, what was it you wanted to talk about?
”

“
I was wondering... I guess..,” Emma stuttered on the question, not sure if she should ask or not.  “What was the reasoning behind you putting Destry and I together that first time?” 

Emma regretted asking almost immediately, the regret was backed up by the long pause before Micah answered.

“I don’t think I understand your question,”
he said solemnly.

Emma decided to re-phrase and add a whole new element to it. “What is the nature of
our
relationship exactly?  Where is it headed, and what does Destry have to do with it, if anything at all?”