Eternal (15 page)

“
Three have gone to scout the neighborhood. Madóran is calling Nathrin and Mirali. And Caeran and Len are saying goodbye.”

I swallowed.
No giving up, OK?

You will see me again.

Soon?

I hope so.

He gathered me into his arms and just held me for a while. I was fighting not to cry again. He kissed my temple and I closed my eyes. He'd found the way to distract me; I turned my face toward him and was rewarded with a serious kiss.

It is amazing to be kissed by someone whose feelings you can feel, and vice versa. It's this incredible—I guess they call it a feedback loop? Anyway, just astounding. I wanted to drag him back to my bedroom for more.

The front door opened. Savhoran kissed my forehead and let me go.

Madóran came in, cell phone in hand. Seeing him reminded me of my healed cut. I glanced up at Savhoran and saw that his face was better, too—a little pink, but not the lobster-like color he'd been when he came in. I just gazed at him, trying to memorize his face, so beautiful and so sad.

He must have heard that, because he looked at me and smiled.
Not always sad.

I wish I could make you happy.

You do.

Caeran and Len came out of their bedroom, Caeran carrying her bag. Len was kind of hanging on his arm.

“
The car is here,” Madóran said. “We will stop at the hotel to pick up Nathrin and Mirali. I will call from there to let you know we are leaving.”

Caeran nodded. “Thank you. We continue to be in your debt.”

Madóran shook his head, smiling. “I am happy to have company.”

Savhoran reached for my bag.

“
No!” Madóran and I said together.

“
The sun is still up,” Madóran said, taking the bag from him.

Savhoran's jaw tightened. I hugged him as Caeran and Len followed Madóran out.

Don't forget me, OK?

Never. You are all I have.

That's not true! You have the clan!

But they fear me, and rightly so. I cannot be close to my own kind any more.

And that grief overwhelmed all his other sorrows. I wiped at my face, not wanting to give him a weepy farewell.

They still love you. And so do I.

He hugged me so hard it almost hurt, then let me go and kissed me lightly.

They are waiting.

I didn't want to go.
Will you be able to talk to me like this?

Probably not over distance. That is a rare gift. And even if I could, I would not want to while we are hunting. It would be too distracting.

Oh. Yeah, I can see that.

Now go, Amanda. This is hard for me, too.

I went to the door and looked back.
Call me, OK? When you're not busy hunting?

All right.

I made myself go out into the sunlight that was now an enemy. Caeran nodded at me as we passed on the walk. His face looked strained.

A beige minivan sat at the curb, not looking like a limo. The driver who opened the door for me was an ordinary human, which meant we wouldn't be able to talk about stuff in the car. I got in next to Len in the back seat and stared at the house.

Caeran was standing on the front porch. I looked toward the curtained living room window. Savhoran was there—I couldn't see him but I knew it. I felt him watching as the van pulled away. I missed him already.

The drive was long and boring. Len apparently didn't feel like talking any more than I did. I stared out the window and thought about Savhoran. We picked up Nathrin and Mirali at a hotel, stopped a couple of times for gas and bathroom breaks, and arrived in Guadalupita about an hour after dark.

My heart was aching, but I couldn't help being glad to be back in that beautiful place. Crickets chirped and the stars glowed overhead while the driver put our bags on the
portal
. I stared up at the sky, thinking about Savhoran. The van drove away, its noise fading for a long time until all I could hear were the crickets.

The clan must be hunting now. I swallowed, wished them luck, then followed the others inside.

They were talking in the entryway. Madóran turned as I came in. “Dinner will be ready in a short while,” he said. “You will have your usual rooms.”

He headed toward the kitchen, leaving us to settle in on our own. Len picked up her bag and opened the door to the
plazuela.
I followed and went to my former room, which had been made up fresh. I put my bag on the floor and flopped onto the bed. I must have been tired, or maybe just stressed. I fell asleep.

A knocking on my door woke me. I sat up, slowly figuring out where I was.

“Hey, Man—you in there?” Len's voice.

“Uh-huh,” I said, still groggy.

“Come on, dinner's ready.”

The second I opened the door the smell of
Mad
ó
ran
‘s cooking got me. My stomach growled as I followed Len across the courtyard.

Mirali and Nathrin were already at the table, talking in ælven with
Mad
ó
ran
who was at the stove. They switched to English when we came in. I gathered they were going to stay at the house for now; Nathrin said something about going to get their clothes in the morning. They had been staying somewhere else nearby the first time I came, but now with the alben running around I guess they wanted more security.

Mad
ó
ran
had made steak, potatoes, and asparagus with lemon sauce. I forced myself not to gobble, to slow down and savor everything.

Len picked at her food. Missing Caeran, I figured. I didn't want to get depressed, so I listened to the ælven as a distraction.

“I will take the first watch tonight,”
Mad
ó
ran
said to Nathrin. “I will call you after midnight.”

“How can I help?” I asked. “I could take a turn.”

Nathrin looked at me. “You need to sleep.”

“Well, so do you guys, right?”

He looked amused and glanced at
Mad
ó
ran
, who handed him the asparagus.

“We do not sleep, Amanda,”
Mad
ó
ran
said. “Not as you do. Our bodies require rest, but not sleep.”

“It's more like meditation,” Len put in.

I looked at her. “So Caeran meditates while you sleep? What does he do when you snore?”

She frowned at me, then cut a bite of her steak. “If I'm restless he goes somewhere else to rest. But he really only needs about four hours a day.”

“
Jeez.”

I ate a bite of potato, feeling inferior. Why did the ælven bother with us at all? Probably they didn't want to, but we were more populous so they had to deal with us or hide in the middle of nowhere.

It occurred to me to wonder if the ælven were approaching extinction. I looked at
Mad
ó
ran
and he gave me a sad smile.

Crap. That shouldn't happen. They were so amazing. And they were here before us—somebody'd said that, probably Caeran.

Deep inside me something stirred. If there was anything I could do to help the ælven, I wanted to. Trouble was, I didn't know how. Following in Len's footsteps didn't feel like enough, and I was pretty sure I couldn't improve on what she was doing.

I envied her a little. She had figured out what she could do. If she and
Mad
ó
ran
really found a cure, then maybe all the alben could reunite with the ælven, and there'd be more of them, and they wouldn't go extinct.

And if she found a cure, maybe Savhoran would get better. My heart clenched at that. It was almost enough to make me change my mind about studying medicine.

Nathrin and Mirali went to their room after dinner. Len and I did the dishes while
Mad
ó
ran
put away leftovers. I continued to mull over what I could do to help.

“What are you good at?”
Mad
ó
ran
asked.

“Huh?”

“Do you have skills, or pastimes you enjoy?”

“Um. Poker. Playing video games and watching movies. That's probably not what you meant.”

“You never know when something may be of use. What are the video games that you enjoy like?”

“Puzzles, mostly. I'm not much into shoot-em-ups.”

Mad
ó
ran
looked confused.

“Violent stuff,” I added.

“Ah.”

I was tired, and Len looked sleepy. When the kitchen was squared away we
called it a night.
Mad
ó
ran
came with us to the courtyard and said goodnight there. I went to my room, and glanced back at the door.

Mad
ó
ran
was sitting in a chair near the fountain, staring up at the sky. It didn't look like he was keeping watc
h, but I knew he was, and that was really reassuring. I went to bed and slept like a log.

The next morning I had to look at my phone to remember what day it was. Friday, right. I had to call in sick. I decided I needed breakfast before facing that.

I got dressed and headed across the courtyard, drawn by the smell of cinnamon.
Mad
ó
ran
had made sticky buns and they were heaven. He smiled at me from the counter where he was cutting up oranges.

Len was at the table ahead of me; no sign of Nathrin or Mirali. I sat across from Len and poured myself some tea.

“Did you call in?” Len asked.

“I will. You?”

“Yeah. Alice wasn't pleased when I said I was taking a week off.”

“Did you tell her it was an emergency?”

“I said family business. Didn't impress her.”

She seemed a little down, so I changed the subject. “Have you talked to Caeran?”

“Yeah. You were right. They found where the alben had been camping in the bosque. Sh
e wasn't there, though. They staked it out all night, but she didn't come back.”

Now I was depressed. I ate three sticky buns, drank some tea, and ate a couple of orange slices for virtue's sake, then went out to the
plazuela
to call the library.

Dave was in. I took a deep breath and told him I was taking the next week off. He was usually a jerk about changes to the schedule, but Poppy must have given him a full dramatic reenactment of my adventure in the ladies' room, because he didn't say a thing except that he hoped I would feel better soon.

I said goodbye and then stared at my phone a while, wondering whether to call Savhoran. He had said he would call, and if he was resting after hunting all night I didn't want to bother him. I decided to wait and if he didn't call by the next morning, I'd call him.

I stared at the courtyard. Bees and butterflies were visiting the flowers. A robin was taking a bath in the fountain, splashing water everywhere, having a grand time.

Len came out and sat in the chair next to mine. “So, here we are.”

“Yeah.”

I looked up at the sky—deep blue up here away from city smog. Oddly, that made me homesick for Albuquerque.

“Wish we could do something to help,” I said.

“We're helping by staying out of the way.” She didn't sound so happy about it.

“I mean something constructive. I wish I'd taken martial arts.”

Len shook her head. “Wouldn't work. She can control you.”

I shivered, remembering. “She can't do that to ælven, can she? Just to us?”

“Right. We're weaker, easier to control. She can do it to ælven, but not as well, and only one at a time.”

“Pepper spray! I meant to say they should all carry it, but I forgot. I couldn't use mine, but if Lomen had had one—will you tell Caeran?”

“Yeah. Good idea.”

Movement caught my eye: Nathrin came out of a door on the west side of the house and walked along the
portal
to the kitchen. He nodded when he saw me watching, but didn't stop. When he'd gone inside I turned to Len.

“Is Caeran afraid of Savhoran?”

“Afraid? No. He's sad for him.”

“Savhoran thinks they're al
l afraid of him.”

“
They're afraid of the disease. Mirali most of all, I think. Can't blame her.”

“
No … but he misses them.” I sighed. “I wish there was something I could do.”

Len grinned. “I could think of a few things.”

“
Yeah, great. Except I'm two hundred miles away.”

Nathrin came out of the kitchen with a tray of food and tea, and went back down the
portal.
Mirali was getting breakfast in bed, I guessed.

“
Mirali doesn't like me,” I said.

“
She's not that wild about humans in general, especially when they hook up with members of her clan.”

“
So she's a bigot?”

Len shrugged. “She's seen her friends break their hearts over humans more than once. She tried to talk me out of being with Caeran. Told me about the last time he got involved with a human. It was pretty sad; I almost gave him up.”

“
Crap! No!”

“
Yeah. But Caeran had other ideas.” She smiled softly. “We're lucky, you know, you and I.”

“
I know.”

Even though Savhoran suffered this disease—or maybe because of it—I was lucky. He wanted me, even needed me. It still amazed me when I thought about it that he should care about me at all. I mean, we must seem like fruit flies to them. Here today, gone tomorrow. Not even worth remembering a name.