Authors: Stacey Espino
He took her hand and pressed it to his chest. “I had an accident when I was young. It left me in bad shape, plenty of scars on my upper body. I know it’s vain and all, but I can’t help but curse the way I look.”
She could understand. Her weight problem was like an albatross on her shoulder. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t look past it. How could she ever judge
Austin
for a physical deformity? It only endeared her to him.
Kayla leaned over and kissed him again, then his neck. Her desire welled up inside her, making her forget to behave. She was ready to fuck
Austin
right on the riverbank. It would help them both forget their physical burdens and just savor each other.
But he pulled back and kissed her forehead.
“Tell me about your painting. When did you start?”
He wanted to know about her? Stop what she was trying to start? Maybe he was the exact type of man she needed in her life after all. She picked up the canvas and held it in front of her for their inspection. Just looking at the unfinished work tempted her to grab a brush and give it life. “I guess I started after my parents died. It was a good emotional outlet.”
“Well, you’re very talented. I’d like to commission you to paint a wall in my house. If you’d agree to it, of course.”
“A mural? That sounds interesting. What did you have in mind?”
“I’d like to bring the outdoors in. The only time I can escape the headaches of life is when I ride the fields. If I could bring those blue skies and golden fields into my room, I’d have a getaway even in the dead of winter.”
It was such an ambitious project—one of her paintings, but the size of a wall rather than a small canvas. It would be a challenge, but one she highly anticipated. If anything, this was a birthday gift to remember.
“I’d love to try,” she said before thinking everything through. It didn’t feel right to charge
Austin
when it’s something she loved to do, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t allow her to do it for free. What was a fair price? How long would it take her? Should she do it on breaks from her bookkeeping job or come in the evenings on her own time?
Before she could even form the first question to ask aloud, he leaned in and kissed her again. She was losing her heart to a third man.
Chapter Ten
Austin
escorted her to the edge of the field on the outskirts of town by horseback. It had been ages since she’d been on a horse, but it felt good holding on to Austin from behind, knowing he was in control and wouldn’t let her get hurt. The experience tore her from reality—the beat of the hooves on the solid, packed earth, the breeze through her hair, and the scent of
Austin
’s cologne as she leaned into him. She could run like this for miles, keep running and never stop.
He’d eventually helped her down from the horse with another sweet kiss. A promise.
She waved good-bye and jogged up the street, feeling giddy. It only took her five minutes to get to the hardware store from where he’d left her. Her stomach tightened with excitement. When she was with him everything became a first, even the smell of flowers and the color blue in her paint jar. He’d awoken a passionate, vulnerable woman who desperately wanted to feel something real.
Austin
hadn’t taken advantage of her like other men tended to. He was gentle and caring, every kiss and touch holding meaning. Ben had even told her that his brother hadn’t stopped thinking of her. It was flattering to know she wasn’t one-sided in her feelings.
By the time she’d changed and fixed her hair, Clay was knocking at her door. He was early, but she had nothing else to do but reflect on all the recent events.
As soon as she opened the door, he rushed in, bringing the freshness of the outdoors. He was in good spirits, as usual.
“Happy birthday, Kayla.” Clay pulled her close, lifting her off her feet. “You’re growing up too fast.” He kissed her atop the head as he set her back on the ground.
“I’m a woman. If I’m growing, it’s just wider.”
“Nonsense. Now, grab your stuff, we’re going to my place.”
Kayla slipped on her shoes and hooked her purse over her shoulder before turning off the main light. She knelt down to pet Sepia one more time before locking up.
When they arrived at Clay’s ranch, a new unease surfaced inside her. This was his home now, one with roots. It’s what they each sought all these years but never attained. It was always just the two of them. But now that Clay had found his place in the world, where did that leave Kayla? She felt like an intruder in her brother’s life rather than family. He lived with Angel and Landon since his marriage, and Kayla’s needs were secondary, even though Clay would never admit that. He was a great brother, and she only wanted the best for him.
Kayla just wished she could have her own happily ever after. Her life had been thrown off course lately, not that it had ever been a straight road. First Grant, then Ben, now
Austin
. Each man was so different, unique in his own way, and deep down she wanted all three, which was ridiculous. Ben would never want her for more than an affair, which left Grant and Austin. How could she choose between them? They were both good men—honest, strong, compassionate, and sexy as hell. If only she could have her cake and eat it, too. If
Austin
had of dropped off her sweater, maybe he’d have agreed to share her with Grant. Then maybe, just maybe, they could have started a ménage of their own. Just like half the damn town. She’d never expected to want such a nontraditional relationship, but two men showering her with attention wasn’t easy to turn away.
“So how are things at the feed store? My parents driving you nuts?” asked Landon.
“They’re sweet,” she said. “But I’m hardly there anymore.”
Clay passed her a glass of soda and joined her on the sofa. “I still don’t understand you, Kayla. I offered you a nice, secure job with good pay and hours, but you just give it up to work for a stranger.”
“It has nothing to do with you, Clay. You know that.”
“Of course it does. You were always hell-bent on being independent of me. I don’t understand it, darlin’. If I want to support my little sister, that’s my prerogative.”
Angel came out from the kitchen and sat on the arm of Landon’s chair. “It’s also her prerogative not to accept that support. I can understand how it feels to be overly coddled by a brother. It feels good to know you succeeded on your own, with no help from anyone.”
“Don’t encourage her, Angel,” Clay warned. His wife only rolled her eyes, not worried about the sharp tone of his voice. “Kayla, did Grant ever call on you again?”
She shrugged, not liking where the conversation was heading. There was no way she would sit there and explain the complexities of her love life when they confused even her at this point. “We’re just friends.”
Angel made a noise of protest. “Of all my brothers, I’m closest with Grant. He isn’t one to keep many friends or show genuine interest in a woman. When he looks at you, I see a light in his eyes I’ve never seen before. I certainly hope you’re not playing with his affection.”
“Dammit, Angel. Watch that tongue of yours. It’s Kayla’s birthday today.” Clay scowled at the beautiful blonde. “Just you wait until tonight.”
When Landon smiled after the comment, Kayla cringed, trying not to envision her brother getting it on after she left. It was one of the reasons she hated visiting. There was always so much sexual innuendo thrown around that it made her nauseous. She preferred it when Clay would shelter her from his love life. But she was a grown woman now, even though he often refused to admit it. It was time for her to get serious about a real relationship of her own.
She thought about Angel’s subtle warning. Kayla had no intention of hurting Grant or breaking anyone’s heart. She was more worried about her own heart. It baffled her why three of the most eligible men in town would consider settling down with a chubby like her. She ate well but supposed she could exercise a bit more. Regardless, she would never be supermodel fit like Angel or some of the younger women in town.
They ate dinner, laughed when Kayla had difficulty blowing out the thirty candles on the homemade cake, and opened gifts. By the end of the evening, she felt relaxed and happy. She could feel the love between Clay, Landon, and Angel. She envied them, not in a spiteful way, but it did remind her how lonely she’d be when she returned to an empty apartment.
While Landon cleared the table and Clay went to warm up the truck to bring her home, she sat on the porch with Angel. They looked off into the night sky, twinkling with starlight. The endless fields droned with the symphony of insects she’d grown to love…and hate.
“Do you like my brother?” Angel asked.
“He’s sweet. And a tease. I have fun when he’s around.”
“But do
you
like him?”
“It’s not a simple thing to answer. I mean, look at us. He’s Grade A beef and I’m Hamburger Helper. Not to mention I’m thirty now and he’s at least a couple years younger.”
“Four years younger. Grant’s twenty-six.”
She threw her hands up, feeling like the truth was a slap in the face. Four years was a lot when Grant had four more years of youthful twenties left. “There you go. In today’s society, men hook up with younger women, not older.”
Angel twirled her long blonde hair into a makeshift bun. “Sounds to me like you’re making excuses. Ever hear the expression, love is blind? Well, it’s true. Besides, Grant’s always been the mature one. Matthew's the loose card.” She shifted her body to face Kayla. “Look at it this way…would you feel better or worse knowing a man chose you, or supposedly loved you, because you had a perfect figure, a huge bank account, or the biggest tits? I doubt it. My brother wants you for you, so I’d say that’s more flattering.”
She nodded, saved from continuing their conversation when Clay called for her to join him in the truck. “Thanks, Angel. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
* * * *
Once back in her apartment, she put her covered piece of cake in the fridge and then leaned against the counter to study the roses Grant had given her yesterday. She’d had a crush on him since she moved to town. Then they’d fucked against his barn. She thought that was the end of it, but he’d come back. If she was smart, she’d put her full effort into a relationship with Grant. She wasn’t getting any younger. In fact, her birthday had put her in a black mood once the sun set. If she didn’t settle down soon, she may be trapped in a loveless life forever. Just her and Sepia.
What would happen when she returned to the Richmond Ranch come Monday? She’d fall under
Austin
’s sweet spell in a flash. Kayla still remembered his gentle kisses and the genuine interest he’d shown in her painting. His dark eyes put her in a spell, an erotic trap she wanted to become entangled in. Maybe Grant would be willing to try a threesome again, this time with
Austin
. God knew he enjoyed himself when Ben joined in. Everything flowed and had been choreographed seamlessly, as if they were meant to engage in the intimate dance. It seemed so unlikely, the way they’d fight outside of the bedroom. But she knew how sex could change people, especially men.
There was a bang on her window. It sounded like a bird flew into the glass, but it was too dark out. She cautiously approached the window that she sat by when she painted. There were only wheat fields for as far as the eye could see in the light of day.
“
Kayla
.” She could have sworn she heard her name, but it had been so faint she could have imagined it. “
Kayla
.”
This time she cranked open the old window, glad she wasn’t on the main floor. It could get scary some nights when living on her own. In the shadows below she caught movement. Then the small flicker of a lighter captured her attention. It was Grant.
“What are you doing down there? Do you realize what time it is?”
“Around ten?”
“Nearly eleven.” She leaned out the window as much as she could.
“It’s your birthday. I had to see you.” Kayla smiled to herself, flattered he’d thought of her. “Happy birthday, darlin’.”
“Thank you.” She found herself trying to whisper, even though there wasn’t anyone in town after hours besides her. It felt like a ghost town after Mr. Ryder closed up shop each night. Some nights she appreciated the solitude, but others she felt like the only woman in the world. Being alone now, knowing she was officially thirty, put her into a depression. She wanted to live a full life, the one her mother was unable to have, but all she’d done so far was squander it.
“I have something for you. I’ll leave it by your door.”
“You can come upstairs and give it to me yourself. What is it?” As much as she should steer clear of any and all men tonight, she couldn’t leave him standing out in the cold.
“It’s a surprise.” There was a moment of silence when all she could hear were the crickets. He was so still, she wondered if he’d left. “I’ll call on you this week to see how you’re getting along.”
More silence. This time she called out to him, her own voice in the hushed surroundings making her jump. “Grant?” There was no reply.