“Don’t comfort her. She must learn.”
After another minute of the cold solution coursing into me, a horrible overwhelming need to use the restroom overcame me. I raised my head, breathing faster and making urgent little sounds.
“Here,” Perla said. She motioned to a bucket against the wall.
The dreaded fucking bucket.
My momentary horror was overridden by another painful stomach cramp. I crawled in a rush to the container. Perla dropped her eyes, but Marco, Luis, and another of Marco’s gigantic lackeys watched me as by body expunged its contents.
It was the most awful, degrading moment of my life. The skin on my backside shouted its anger, so I tried to hold myself up, grasping the sides of the bucket. Another wave of cramping came and I squeezed my eyes shut, cursing myself when I felt a tear slip from my eye. Without hesitation, Marco’s big man whacked the side of my face with his open palm, effectively drying my tears and nearly throwing me off the bucket.
Everything I thought I knew about myself and life, all of my views, shifted and changed in that room on that day. Ideas of privacy and entitlement and freedom slipped away. The meanings of strength and weakness morphed and failed to matter anymore. All that mattered was survival with minimal pain. Maybe pain made some people feel alive, but not me. Pain made me feel hated and ashamed, like a dog tucking its tail when its master kicked it. If survival without pain meant obeying, that’s what I would do.
When I was finally done my arms shook from holding myself up.
“Stand,” Marco said.
I pushed myself, wobbling and unable to stand straight from the leftover pain in my abdomen and backside. He pulled the bandana down from my mouth and caressed my jaw with his thumb.
“What would you like to say to me, Angel?”
Twenty-four hours ago I would have thought of all sorts of cutting things I’d like to say to him, but with the shape I was in all I felt was glad that my punishment was over, and a deep desire to be in his good graces. My answer was immediate. “I’m sorry I disappointed you…Master. I’m sorry I cried.”
He gave me a brief, warm, affectionate smile.
“Take her back to the quarters and have her clean herself and the bucket,” Marco said.
With Luis on one side of me and Perla on the other, I walked naked out of the room, holding the bucket, my head lowered in absolute humility.
When we entered the quarters I went straight to the bathroom, ignoring the stare from Josef and the malicious giggle from Jin when she whispered, “Mira el culo!”
Look at her ass!
Why did she hate me?
“I remember yours looking like that once.” Josef teased her in Spanish and Jin laughed.
I dumped the bucket in the toilet and flushed, then cleaned it in the sink, trying not to gag. Once I finished I turned the farthest shower on cold and stepped under it, wincing. I caught Josef leaning in the doorway, watching me with a worried expression. I dropped my eyes and when I looked back up he was gone.
Drying off was painful. A glimpse in the mirror showed ugly welts, the edges of some with tiny red blood blisters. The old me only knew how to deal with pain and emotional distress by crying and popping Motrin. That was no longer an option. I didn’t know how to deal now except to keep going.
Just keep going.
I wrapped the towel around myself and passed the others, going to my bed to lie down on my stomach and pass out until it was time for Mr. Creepy Voice to have his way with me. I couldn’t even bring myself to worry about what was in store for myself with him. I could only handle one horrible event at a time and I was currently maxed out.
I was woken by Josef some time later. I immediately tried to get up from where I lay on my stomach, and sucked in a gasping breath from the plethora of pain splicing across my backside.
“Shh…” Josef stilled me with a hand to my upper back. He then touched my collar, which was still slightly damp from the shower. “You can take this off when you come to the room.” He wasn’t wearing his. I nodded. From now on I’d take it off immediately up entering the slave quarters.
He reached down and gently nudged my face up, then brought his lips to mine. I froze with surprise, first at the fact that he was kissing me, opening my mouth with his, and second that he was pushing something into my mouth with his tongue. Just as quickly as the kiss began it ended, leaving behind a pill. I only hesitated a second before discreetly working it to the back of my throat and swallowing it. I had no idea what it was, but I didn’t think Josef would try to hurt me or steer me wrong.
He left me, going to the closet. The three girls were over there, too, getting ready. My stomach spun and dropped. Tonight… That man with the deep voice who got off on me being beaten.
Oh, God.
I didn’t want him to touch me.
Was this really going to be my life? Day after day of being raped by strange men? And even worse than rape because I would be expected to pretend to enjoy it. What if he expected me to be all sultry, like kissing down his body and giving him an elaborate blow job? The very idea of being an active participant made me want to puke.
I sat up, but my butt hurt too much, so I stood. Everything was sore now, and my head pounded. Perla called me over. I’d fallen asleep with the towel around me, so I adjusted it and went across the room.
Mia was sitting at the vanity dressed in her dominatrix ensemble, shiny black boots coming up to her thighs. Her brown hair was coifed in a perfect bob and she was applying make-up to stage perfection. She looked dangerously sexy with darkened eyes, the only splashes of color being across her high cheekbones and full lips. She saw me in the mirror and nodded. I nodded back, kind of intimidated by her awesomeness.
Jin came out of the closet wearing a black corset top and black mini skirt. She looked me up and down with a smirk and then lifted her hair, saying to Josef, “Lace me.”
With deft fingers he made her tiny waist appear even tinier. She winced at the tightness, but said nothing. When he finished she grinned a seductive smile and thanked him. He nodded and went in the clothing room to get ready. Jin frowned when she saw my eyes follow him.
Ah. So that was it. Did they have something going on? Or was it just Jin who had feelings? I couldn’t imagine them being allowed to have something, seeing as how we slaves weren’t even allowed to masturbate. I guess they didn’t want us wasting any of our valuable sexuality.
Blech
.
Perla, completely naked, pulled the towel off me and I let out a small sound, covering myself.
“No.” She stood in front of me and put her hands on my wrists, slowly bringing them down. “Es beautiful, sí?” She ran the backs of her fingers from my collarbones down my chest and over my breasts, making my nipples pucker, then down my stomach. Mine looked so small compared to hers, and my tummy seemed too rounded next to her flat one. Perla bent, and to my horror stared right at my crotch, then ran her fingers over the small patch of hair there. I gasped and stepped back.
“Es no too long. Okay for tonight.”
Out of curiosity I looked down and saw that she was smooth and hairless. Perla took my wrist and pulled me into the closet. I had a crazy urge to laugh at her openness, but I didn’t. Had it really only been a few days ago that laughter felt appropriate and normal?
Josef was in the corner in a black leather thong, a black studded collar, and matching cuffs around his wrists and ankles. His loose hair look like it’d been lightly gelled to tame it. He gave us a wink and strode from the closet. Was that his whole outfit? Wow.
Perla dug through dressers of stuff until she found a pair of black lace thongs for me and a sheer black negligee that was just loose enough not to hurt my back. I put them on, being careful not to move too fast—I was afraid of one of the welts opening and bleeding. Next, Perla found some black high heels for me. She put her foot up to mine and we had a moment of camaraderie when we found we wore the same size. And just as it had happened with Josef, I experienced a tenderness when I realized I really liked her. In all this mess, I was grateful to have her and Josef—two people who didn’t want to hurt me.
Perla put on a red bustier-styled negligee and red spike heels, then we did our hair. As I wound the fat curling iron around the brown strands of my hair I felt a wave of sad bitterness. Why should I try to make myself look pretty for this asshole?
Then I remembered the belt across my skin.
I would do my hair because Marco wanted me to. My arm suddenly felt too heavy, but I held it up until the last strand was curled.
I didn’t think I could ever have feelings of acceptance about this situation, or be content with my lot the way the others seemed to be. But I could fake it, just to get me through until I was rescued, and then I’d put it all behind me. It couldn’t be too much longer now…
When Luis came to get us, something strange happened. As each slave exited the quarters, they fell to their hands and knees and crawled. When it was my turn I did the same, feeling ridiculous as people stared when we passed. Some of the patrons stepped closer to examine each of us, like trying to decide which lobster to pick from the tank for dinner.
And then there were the humiliating titters regarding the state of my ass. I kept going, making eye contact with no one.
I can do this. Keep control.
One good thing happened as we crawled across the house…whatever Josef had given me started to kick in. The stinging and heat on the back of my body seemed to sooth, and the burning against my knees as I crawled eased up. I felt almost buzzed, lightheaded, calmer.
I wished I could thank Josef and tell him that I freaking loved him.
Without fanfare we went our separate ways. I kept my head down, like I’d seen the others do, so I didn’t know where they went or with whom, but Luis stayed by my side and I followed at his feet down a narrow hall until we got to a room.
“Up,” Luis said.
He took me into a beautiful bedroom and my eyes went to the gigantic window as he led me around the four-poster bed. I hadn’t been allowed near any windows since I’d been there. I craned my neck to see the sunset sky and sparkling ocean. I wondered how it smelled out there— the Mediterranean air. Freedom…
“On the bed,” Luis said.
My nostalgia for the outdoors disappeared with a snap as I came back to reality, staring at the high bed. I started breathing harder. Luis nudged me. I crawled up and he climbed up, too, taking my wrists and telling me to lay down on my back. I did as he said, and though it stung and pulsated, I knew it wasn’t half as bad as it would’ve been without that pill.
Luis pulled out a chain attached to the headboard and clamped both of my wrists in it. The door opened and I instinctively brought my knees up. Marco walked in, closing the door behind himself.
Unease curled in my belly. Had there been a change? After having me beaten, did Marco want the honors of screwing me himself? I didn’t know which would be worse, him or Marco. And then I decided Marco would be worse. So far he hadn’t done anything to me himself, and I wanted to keep it that way.
He pulled a hip up onto the bed and looked me over. He touched the edge of my hip where one whelp ended.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, seeming concerned.
“Yes, Sir,” I whispered.
“Yes,
Master
.”
I paused only briefly, remembering that after I’d been whipped I called him Master on instinct. The memory of how broken I’d been in that room this afternoon humiliated me.
“Yes, Master,” I said quietly.
He ran a hand over my arms, then my legs, speaking to me all the while.
“Your patron tonight is a very important man, Angel. Señor Feliz is a great supporter of my work and I don’t wish to upset him. He has been told of his limitations with you, and he is being watched. You are safe.”
My eyes darted around the room. The ceilings didn’t have any of those video camera domes. Marco chuckled.
“I wish my patrons to have a sense of privacy, but I must also protect what’s mine. Don’t you worry. Everyone is being watched at all times. Never forget that. Trust me to take care of you.”