Epic Fail (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

D
iana’s reaction to the news I was going out with Derek Edwards was more upsetting because she was so congratulatory. “Excellent, Elise,” she said, when I told her on the phone later that weekend. “That’s really cool. So you got over the fact that he’s a jerk?”

“I was wrong about that. He’s really not.”

“Because he really isn’t or because his mother’s Melinda Anton?”

“Because he really isn’t,” I said. “And anyway, you were the one who thought I should be friends with him because of who his mother is.”

“Yeah, and you were the one who got all self-righteous about it.”

“I didn’t get all self-righteous.” I took a deep breath. “He’s nice, Diana—that’s why I changed my mind.”

“Right,” she said, and I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not. “So when do I get to meet him?”

“Soon,” I said. “So long as you promise not to talk business with him.”

“I promise,” she said. “But if you see Melinda, you have to tell her about Dad’s catering and how good it is.”

“I can’t do that!”

“I know. I wish you could, though. He needs the work.” Then she said, “But it’s really cool you’re dating him. It’s really, really, amazingly cool.” A beat. “Hey, guess what
my
boyfriend’s father does—”

“What?”

“He’s a dentist.” She sighed comically. “Nothing cool about that at all.”

“Free dental floss?” I suggested.

“Oh, yeah,” she said. “That’s way cool.”

I laughed, but I hung up later wishing I hadn’t once told Diana I thought Derek was a jerk. It made me look like I’d changed my mind for the wrong reasons.

Both Dad’s and Diana’s reactions made me realize how impossible it was going to be to convince people I liked Derek for who he was and not for who his parents were.

I said something about that to Juliana, and she said soothingly, “Don’t worry, Lee-Lee. I know you don’t like Derek because his parents are movie stars.”

“Thank you.”

“You like him because he’s so rich.”

“Very funny. I could easily say the same thing about you and your boyfriend, you know.”

“I love Chase because he’s the nicest guy in the world,” she said, more seriously.

“Yes, well, as much as I like Derek, I can’t—” I stopped abruptly. “Wait a second—you just said that you love Chase!”

“I know.” She hid her face in her hands. “It slipped out.”

“Do you think you do?”

“I’ve never liked any guy this much before,” she said, peeking out. “That’s all I know.”

“And that’s all ye need know,” I intoned.

“Derek?” I said on Friday night, as we walked from the cinema to his car after seeing a junky action movie that redeemed itself only by putting its protagonist in so much peril that I had a constant excuse to cling to Derek’s arm.

“What?” Actually, I don’t think he said the word, but his hand squeezed mine in an unmistakably questioning way.

“Did you start to like me because I was mean to you?”

He laughed. “Why? Do I seem like a masochist?”

“I know it’s a weird question. But I started wondering why you liked me—I didn’t see a lot of good reasons—and I thought maybe it was because so many of the other girls fawn all over you and you hate that. So maybe you liked that I was kind of mean to you.”

He stopped and leaned against a tree trunk, thinking. Then he held his arms out and I moved into them. “It wasn’t meanness,” he said. “That’s the wrong word. But I guess maybe on some level I liked that you were . . . challenging.”

“Challenging?” I repeated. “That’s what you call a little kid who’s a pain in the butt.”

“Fits you, doesn’t it? Plus you were funny and cute and nice to your sister. I liked that you were willing to get wet for her. And I liked that when you were wet, you smelled like mint.” He sniffed at my hair. “Still do a little, come to think of it.”

“That’s this cheap shampoo Mom buys. Juliana uses it, too, but don’t start sniffing her. Or my mother. Or anyone except me.”

“Mmm,” he said, a little distracted now, nuzzling into the crook of my neck.

“Hey, look.” I pulled away from him so I could point up at the sky. “A star. Seen by the naked eye. And Cantori said that wasn’t possible in L.A. these days.”

He put his head back and squinted up at the darkness. “Actually, I think that’s an airplane.”

“Really? It looks like a star to me.”

He shook his head. “It’s definitely an airplane. That’s just the light on the tail—see? It’s moving.”

“Rats,” I said.

“Disappointed?” He pulled me hard against him. “Did you want to make a wish? You still can, you know. Who says you can’t wish on an airplane?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. “Nah, I’m okay.”

I had no problem wishing on an airplane.

I just couldn’t think of anything left to wish for.

About the Author

Claire LaZebnik
lives in Los Angeles with her TV-writer husband and four children. She is the author of the novels
IF YOU LIVED HERE, YOU’D BE HOME NOW; THE SMART ONE AND THE PRETTY ONE; KNITTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE;
and
SAME AS IT NEVER WAS
. She is also the co-author of
OVERCOMING AUTISM
and
GROWING UP ON THE SPECTRUM
. You can visit her online at www.clairelazebnik.com.

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Credits

Cover art © 2011 by Getty Images / Nicole Hill
Cover design by Tom Forget

Copyright

Epic Fail
Copyright © 2011 by Claire LaZebnik

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-0-06-192126-1

EPub Edition © AUGUST 2011 ISBN: 9780062093257

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