Envious (6 page)

“Liar.”

A small smile teased her lips. Only Chris would call her out like that. He was too good at reading her mind. “How do you know?”

“Because I know you.”

That should have unnerved her, but it didn’t. Chris was one of the good guys, and she felt fortunate to count him among her friends. She just hoped that wouldn’t change with Lee no longer in the picture. Chris had become someone she counted on, and she needed people like him in her life now more than ever.

“And I’ve been where you are.”

“So Lee told you everything?” She’d taken Hannah to the park early that morning, mainly because she didn’t want to face her husband when he came home to get ready for work. She needed a little time to collect herself before she saw him again.

“Yeah, he did.”

Part of her was mortified, but she knew if anyone would understand what she was going through, it was Chris. His wife had left him without warning too. “I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. We’ve been drifting apart for a while.” She plated her daughter’s sandwich before turning off the burner. If she were honest, she would admit the only thing she and Lee had ever had in common was sibling rivalry and addiction. Without that, they were merely friendly strangers sharing a bed and the occasional meal.

“Still, it’s not easy. It’s easier when it’s just some abstract idea, but when you’re faced with the reality of telling your child her parents won’t be living under the same roof anymore…”

She sighed. “I know. I’ve been thinking about how we’re going to handle that all morning. Lee texted me earlier to tell me he’d be stopping by to pick up a few of his things after work. He suggested we talk to Hannah then.”

“He’s not wasting any time, is he?”

Katie couldn’t deny that hurt the most—he couldn’t wait to be rid of her. “No, he isn’t.”

“I suggested he take some time to think about it. Sometimes people feel differently after they’ve had some time apart.”

Katie closed her eyes when she heard Hannah giggling at her favorite TV program. Telling her would be the hardest part. “I don’t think Lee’s going to change his mind. He seemed pretty adamant that this was what he wanted, what he felt was best for both of us.”

“But you disagree?”

Katie reached for the elastic securing her ponytail when she felt a headache forming. “I don’t know what to think or how to feel anymore. I’m just kind of numb, to tell you the truth.”

“I was going to ask you to pass by the unit with me tonight, but it sounds like you’ve got enough on your plate. We can do it another time.”

“Um, about that…” She didn’t wanted him to be disappointed in her for giving up before she even got started, but she had to do what she felt was best. The last thing she needed was more stress in her life. “This may not be the best time.”

“So I’ll just buy the unit, if you like it. That way it’ll be there for you when you decide the time is right.”

Katie’s mouth dropped open. He would do that for her? “You can’t. I mean, you shouldn’t feel obligated to do that. I’m sure I can find another space when and if I decide to move forward with my plan.” It wasn’t as if she could assume anything. She was going to be a single parent. Even though Lee would do his part by paying alimony and child support, she would feel obligated to get a job and carry her weight. Being a stay-at-home mom with a husband was one thing. It wasn’t feasible for a single mom in their income bracket to do that.

“I liked the space. Even if you decide not to take it, I’m sure I wouldn’t have any trouble renting it out.”

She should argue, but it was his money and his decision. “I just don’t want you to do this for me.”

“I’d do just about anything for you. Don’t you know that by now?”

His heartfelt question roused a little tingle in her belly. Hearing a man like Chris utter those words was… breathtaking. Lee had always been good to her and their daughter, but she never believed he would move Heaven and Earth to make her dreams come true. Men like that only existed on the pages of her favorite books.

“Katie, are you still there?”

“Yes. Sorry, I was just—”

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… Hell, I don’t want to apologize for saying what I feel, but I know this isn’t the time to have this conversation. You have enough going on without me adding to your burden.”

What was he talking about? What conversation did he think they should have?

“Sort things out with Lee tonight, but can you come with me to check out that unit tomorrow night?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, maybe we can even grab a quick dinner afterward. You know, to talk about your vision for the business. I know you may not be ready to take action yet, but it doesn’t hurt to think about it.”

It felt as if it had been months since she and Lee had been out for dinner together. Looking back, she realized it had really been that long. It
would
be nice to get out of the house and enjoy the company of an adult for a change. Katie cherished every moment she spent with her daughter, but wearing something other than leggings and ballerina flats would be a welcome change. “I’d have to ask my mother or Cassidy if they’d mind watching Hannah.”

“No problem. Call or text me tomorrow to let me know.”

“Okay.” Katie knew she shouldn’t feel so excited about the prospect of having dinner with Chris. It wasn’t as if it was a date. It was a business dinner with a friend, for Heaven’s sake.

“Good luck tonight. I hope you and Lee find some resolution you can both live with.”

“Thanks, so do I.”

Lee felt as if he’d swallowed a mouthful of sawdust by the time he entered his home that evening. The smell of beef stew in the slow cooker assailed him as soon as he walked in the door, and he realized he wouldn’t enjoy many home-cooked meals anymore.

“Hi,” Katie said, entering the kitchen. “I thought I heard you come in.”

“Where’s Hannah?”

“She’s next door playing with the Peytons’ little girl. I thought we should figure out how we want to handle this before I go pick her up.” Katie sat down at the oak table dominating the small kitchen and looked at her watch. “We have half an hour before they’re expecting me.” She gestured to the chair at the other end of the table. “Have a seat. Can I get you a coffee or something?”

“No, thanks.” Even though it had been his home only yesterday, he felt like a guest.

“So…” She sighed. “Look, I don’t know what I’m supposed to think or how I’m supposed to feel. Obviously, I’ve never been through anything like this before.”

“I know.” He felt just as lost, navigating unchartered territory. “The most important thing is that we’re on the same page. Now that you’ve had some time to think about it, you agree this is for the best, right?”

Katie smoothed her thumb over her unpolished fingernail before looking at him. “I should be devastated that you’re leaving us. My head keeps telling me that’s how I should feel.”

“But how
do
you feel?”

She let out a long, slow breath, as though she was taking her time to respond in case she changed her mind. “Kind of relieved. I know that sounds terrible, but—”

“No, it doesn’t. It sounds honest.” He smiled, trying to draw a smile from her. “We’ve been through a hell of a lot together. I don’t know that I’d be a recovering addict today if it weren’t for you. Hell, I don’t even know if I’d be alive today if it weren’t for you.”

She nodded. “I feel the same way. You helped me more than you’ll ever know. Hannah coming into our lives when she did gave me the reason I needed to slay that beast once and for all.”

“She’s our little miracle, that’s for sure.” Lee’s chest tightened when he thought about what the divorce would do to his innocent little girl. “I still want to be a big part of her life. This is her home, here with you, I know that. But seeing her on weekends, that’s going to be brutal. I’ve seen what it does to Chris, having to wait until Friday nights to pick up his little girl.”

“That means you’re not going to fight me for custody?”

“I thought you knew me better than that.” Lee sighed. “I have to work all day, she’d only be in daycare. Why would I wanna do that when she could be with her mama instead of some stranger?”

“You can come by and spend time with her whenever you like, Lee. I’d never try to stop you from seeing her.”

“I appreciate that.” He’d suspected she would feel that way, but it was nice to hear. “Obviously, I’ll contact my lawyer and get him started on the paperwork, a formal custody agreement, and divorce proceedings.”

“Sure, whatever.”

He knew divorces weren’t always so amicable. He assumed Katie was being so agreeable because she wanted out of their marriage as much as he did. “I talked to Chris about your business plan. He really wants to help you make this happen, and you couldn’t have a better partner. He started that trucking company from nothing, and look where they are now.” Aside from Drake, there was no one Lee respected more than Chris.

“I know Chris’s something of a genius when it comes to business, but starting a pre-school is a lot different than running a transport company.”

“True, but I’m sure whatever challenges you guys might face, you can figure them out together.” When she frowned, he knew he’d probably tipped his hand. He wanted Katie to have someone who loved her, who was committed to taking care of her, and he was scared to death of some stranger playing stepdaddy to his baby girl. If someone had to fill that role, he would sleep a lot easier at night knowing Chris was that man.

“I told Chris I don’t think I’m ready to take that step.”

“Don’t discount it just because of what you and I are going through. I think it would be really good for you to have something positive to focus your attention on. Especially now.”

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

“Do more than think about it. Do it.”

She shook her head with a slight smile. “Why are you so anxious for me to do this?”

“Because I want you to be happy, and I think this will make you happy.”

Her half smile turned into a full-blown grin. “I don’t know many men who put their ex-wives’ happiness high on their list of priorities.”

“You’re not my ex yet,” he said, returning her smile. “Besides, you’re always gonna be the mother of my child. If you’re happy, Hannah’s gonna be happy. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Thank you for saying that and for your support.” She rested her chin in her palm. “Just think, if we’d been able to talk like this before, we may not be getting a divorce.”

“Yes, we would be. Some people are meant to be a part of your lives forever, others for just a short time.” He believed Katie came into his life for the same reason he entered hers—so they could help each other get off drugs, repair their relationships with their siblings, and create a beautiful baby that gave them both a reason to want a better life.

“We’ll always be a part of each other’s lives because of Hannah.”

“Not to mention Cassidy, Drake, and Shyanne.”

“Right.”

Reaching across the table, he said, “I still consider you a friend. I hope you feel the same way.”

“I do.”

Kissing the back of her hand, he said, “I’m going upstairs to throw a bag together. I’ll run it across the street while you pick up Hannah. Sound like a plan?”

“You’re staying with Chris?”

“Yeah, I was planning to stay in a hotel, but he called this afternoon and offered to let me stay in one of his guest rooms until I found a place. He said it would be nice to have the company.” Lee saw her eyes soften when he mentioned Chris’s name. If he’d had any doubts, he didn’t anymore. Katie had feelings for his best friend. The question was, how long would it be before she was willing to admit it to herself and to Chris?

***

Lee and Katie sat on the sofa with Hannah between them. She was getting more articulate and inquisitive every day. Katie knew she would have a lot of questions about their new arrangement. She just hoped she had the answers to put her daughter’s mind at ease.

“So, baby,” Lee said, taking one of Hannah’s little hands and kissing her fingertips one at a time. “Mommy and I have something to tell you.”

“Are we goin’ to Disney?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.

They’d talked about taking a family vacation after Christmas. Obviously that wouldn’t be happening. “Um, no, sweetie, that’s not what we wanted to talk to you about,” Katie said, stealing a glance at Lee over their daughter’s head. He looked just as miserable as she felt.

“Then what?” Hannah asked, her little bow mouth puckering.

“Daddy’s going to be moving across the street with Chris for a while,” Lee said, clearing his throat. “But I’ll come by and see you all the time. Every day if you want.”

She tipped her head back and looked at him. “Why?”

Katie knew she had to rescue Lee. They didn’t want Hannah to see her daddy as the bad guy turning her world upside down. “Sometimes mommies and daddies live together, and sometimes they don’t. Bianca’s mommy and daddy don’t live together anymore, but they love her just as much as they always did, right?”

Hannah lifted her shoulders. “I guess. But I want my daddy to live here with us. Don’t go, daddy.”

Katie saw Lee swallowing and knew he couldn’t respond if his life depended on it. She stroked her daughter’s hair. “Baby, your daddy and I love you so much, but we just don’t love each other anymore.” In that moment, Katie realized how true that was. Lee was a great guy, but he wasn’t the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The sooner they helped their daughter understand that, the better off they would all be.

“But why?” Hannah asked, a tear rolling down her plump cheek.

“Honey, love isn’t something you can explain,” Katie said gently. “You either feel it or you don’t. You can’t force it, no matter how much you might wish you could.”

“Hannah, we’re always going to be a family. No matter what.” Lee brushed a thumb across her cheek. “I’m always gonna love you like nobody else, and whenever you need me, I’ll be right here. I promise.”