Endlessly (2 page)

“Helloooo, Verloren?” Chris said waving
his hand in front of my face.

I turned and stared at him.

“Where did you go man?” he demanded.
“You totally spaced out on me, and your eyes kinda rolled back in
your head all crazy. I thought you were gonna pass out or have a
seizure, or something.”

It hit me that Chris was seeing
something I wanted hidden. He knew nothing about me being a
vampire, nor did he recognize the weird collection of supernatural
beings that ran in and out of my store for what they really were.
He didn’t need to. Chris’s ignorance protected both of us. I
quickly composed myself, and lied. “Man, I haven’t been feeling too
good lately.”

“You need to eat something, ya scrawny
fucker. I got some cold pizza in my store if you want
it.”

“No,” I replied. “That’s ok, I’m
cool.”

Human food. Ugh. Chris was right, but
he couldn’t have imagined what that meant. I did need to feed, but
meals aren’t that simple for vampires. There’s always getting rid
of the dead bodies. Though I could eat human food, that couldn’t do
a vampire any good.

I started looking around for the girl
while Chris went on about bands, music, and whatever else crossed
his mind. I stood up tip-toed, peering over the aisles of books,
CDs, and clothes. Chris’s voice droned on. Music played on the
store speakers. Finally I caught a faint aura by the books. Then I
saw a flash of light.

I was pulled back to the normal world
by Chris’s voice. “Hey buddy what’s up? You look a little
puzzled.”

“It’s…it’s just been a long
day.”

What the hell was happening to me? The
auras, yeah…I could see them, but what was this? Some weird
delusion brought on by my vampire hunger?

I turned to see Jessica Quinn’s petite
frame bouncing around in the back with the new age stuff. The
witch’s silver aura and mass of red hair were too bright to view
without sunglasses. The New Age section disguised merchandise
witches and shamans used in spells. What was she doing
there?

Witches know everything. From the
beginning of history they’ve carried their knowledge through many
lives, never losing memories despite undergoing reincarnation. That
is why we refer to them as the born knowings.

“Well man, I’m gonna get out of your
hair,” Chris said, “which you need to do something about…and those
pants too. I’ll come back tomorrow.” He laughed as he grabbed his
CDs and left. I felt a curl of cold air waft in from the dark night
as the door shut behind him.

I wasn’t going to change my
shoulder-length, black-and-lime-green hair…or my baggy pants with
their hanging chains. After all, if you looked at my misfit crowd
you would realize I was just trying to fit in. Some were human and
I had to try and act like I was human too. The vitiligo was hard to
cover up, and I hated spray tans. It was so much easier posing as a
goth.

I didn’t need to wear contacts because
the vampire virus didn’t affect my eyes. They were pale blue, and
reasonably human-like. Still the light forced me to wear sunglasses
even on overcast days. I preferred the winter, when the sun set
early and I could often forget wearing shades.

As Jessica approached I said: “I need
to talk to you in private before you go home.” I gave her a look,
just to reinforce the “in private.”

I saw the girl looking through the
clothes on the rack. She had a book in her hand. Her back was to
me, and her raised black hoodie and beanie cap hid any trace of her
features. All I could see was tawny hair falling straight from
beneath the hood. It was halfway to her waist.

She had a strange aura, rainbow-like,
so I assumed she must be an incarnate. Most incarnates auras show
all the colors of the spectrum evenly, but hers was outlined in red
with the rainbow spreading around it. Red auras were usually
confined to werewolves.

I was recalling that when the werewolf
walked in, as if my thought of him had been a summons. He was in
his early twenties, just as I seemed to be, but in all other ways
his appearance contrasted with mine. Jason was tall, tanned, and
wore his brown hair in spikes. He’d entered through the back door
that led to the apartment we shared. He saw her, then flashed a
smug smile at me.

I watched as he walked up to her, and
suddenly I realized the pervert was going to ask her for her
number. For the thousandth time I recognized that the only reason I
put up with Jason was so that he could eat the human bodies that I
left behind. It was the only way he, or any werewolf, could shape
shift into his form—by consuming human flesh. Having someone around
who could eat the drained bodies, bones and all, was damned
convenient. I had no choice but to kill them. If I didn’t the virus
would spread through their bodies, and they would become vampires
too. The Quatre didn’t give permission for that too often. I’d
pushed it once with them, and didn’t want to see them again. Their
one rule was that we keep ourselves beneath human radar. As long as
we went unnoticed we could live among them.

Jason was rearranging items on shelves,
planning to drop one, then do the “Oops! Sorry I bumped into you.”
thing, but he couldn’t get close enough. Every time he came within
range she moved. They looked like two opposed magnets bouncing off
each other. Maybe she sensed his pervert vibe.

I chuckled as Jason chafed at the cat
and mouse game. Jason’s acute hearing matched mine, so it was no
surprise that he heard my reaction to his moves on the
girl.

He walked over, leaned on the counter,
and said: “Well?” While raising his eyebrows.

“Well what?”

“You know what you fucking asshole?” he
breathed.

A chuckle came from somewhere in the
back—the demon again. Where was that black smoky aura? I didn’t see
him, but I knew that he could hear us. “She doesn’t know what she
is yet,” I whispered as I watched her flip through CDs. “She still
smells human.” All of this begged the real question: What was
she?

“An incarnate?” Jason
wondered.

Just then Jessica strolled up and set
her seminar flyers on the counter. I glanced at them. Some of the
nearby stores hosted seminars where incarnates might start learning
about who and what they were. Would the girl want to go to
one?

Jessica followed our gazes, saw the
girl, and muttered: “Hmph! Men.”

Jessica marched to the back of the
store, with Jason following. With girls, incarnate girls, human
girls…any girls—he couldn’t stop himself. He had a one-track mind.
I loved the fact that, no matter how much he pestered Jessica, she
always shot him down. It was comical to watch.

With Jason diverted, I returned to the
mystery of the girl. What could she be? I had never seen an aura
like hers, seemingly a mix of incarnate with werewolf. Was she from
another planet or realm?

The girl turned toward the counter and,
for a split second, her brilliant blue eyes stared into mine. A
wave passed through me. She looked down. In that instant we’d been
drawn to each other like magnets merging.

I glanced at Jessica, and realized she
was in shock. Her perpetual smile faded, as her mouth fell open and
her eyes bulged. This wasn’t supposed to happen to a born
knowing.

I stared at Jessica’s face, and felt a
strange sense of panic. That’s why I didn’t notice the girl
approaching my counter.

Chapter 2

AWAKENING HEART

“Excuse me…um…sir,” she
said.

I cleared my throat, trying to calm my
nerves. “Uhhmm…sorry. Can I help you?” My attraction to her might
be better described as panicked magnetism. A part of me wanted to
embrace her. A part of me wanted to run. The conflict left me
rooted where I was.

“Uh, uh…yeah,” she said, almost
stammering. “I’m ready to check out.” Her eyes darted everywhere. I
could hear her heart beat faster.

I suddenly realized the girl was
embarrassed. Her cheeks reddened, and sweat coated her forehead.
She fidgeted. Jason, Jessica, and the rest of the store became
distant, quiet, and not quite there. I saw her book: a guide to
reincarnation. So, she was trying to figure it out. Something was
off. Had there been some change in her aura. Had she been feeling
strange?

“You know, we’ll be getting a shipment
with some new titles about this on Wednesday,” I said, ringing up
her book while trying not to stare at her aura.

She squinted at the price on the little
screen, then counted out her money. When she blushed, the sight of
blood blooming into her cheeks made me hungry. My stomach growled,
but the music drowned it out. As she handed me cash I noticed the
tattoo on her knuckles. I saw it for a split second, and could not
make it out. As I bagged the book and gave it to her, I glimpsed
her aura again. It was like no other. Our eyes met again, like
magnets aligning. She was unaware of her sweating. She didn’t even
know she was trying to hide it.

“Um…Wednesday you said?” she
murmured.

Why was it so awkward? She was just
another incarnate becoming aware, wasn’t she? She must be
struggling with the weird feelings. So? Weren’t we all? She was
starting to think she was crazy. That made her just like so many
other misfits. What did she have that they didn’t have?

“Wednesday,” I said, with a nod. “Come
back then. We should have the new books out by the time we
open.”

Whenever I looked at her aura it
changed, as if in response to my stare. Her eyes evaded mine, yet I
felt sure she was as drawn to me as I was to her. Finally she
looked straight at me and said: “Ok. Thanks.” She clutched her book
to her chest and put her head down. She walked out.

There were born knowings who coaxed
ones like her into the store. Born knowings enjoyed helping
incarnates learn the true nature of their own souls. The process
was a lonely one, but it got easier once you knew there was
something bigger. We had books about that, and then there was our
diverse clientele…

As I watched her walk to her car, I
still felt the aching pull. When I glanced back at the counter
there was Jason, Cheshire cat smile and all.

“What?” I snapped.

“I might ask you the same thing,” he
said.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t hide it. It’s not like anybody
hit you with a stun gun. The real question is: are you gonna fuck
her or eat her?” In the back of the store Jessica
snorted.

“Neither,” I replied. “She’s an
incarnate.”

“What is she? A werewolf?”

“No. We should only be so
lucky.”

“What?” Jason demanded. “What’s wrong
with werewolves? You got a problem with me? Ya don’t like my kind?
Maybe my kind is her kind too, and you wouldn’t want to go there?”
Finally his sarcasm faded as he asked: “So if she’s not like me
then what is she?”

I watched as the demon slipped out.
Only one human male, with the limited hearing of his species, was
left in the store.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” I
said softly. “She’s not a born knowing or a werewolf.”

“Then you are going to fuck
her.”

“You know I can’t do that,” I said,
wishing he would shut up. I was way too hungry to even think about
it. “I can’t risk doing that kind of damage. I’ve been there
before.”

“You tried to do it without hurting a
girl?”

I didn’t answer. I’d said too
much.

“What is it with you vampires anyhow?”
he hissed, his anger showing. “Why can’t you guys fuck somebody
without biting them? Can’t you control yourselves?”

“It’s what I am,” I said. “That’s why
the Quatre ruled that vampires must only mate with other
vampires.”

“So,” Jason said, nearly satisfied,
“the other girl— did you kill her or change her?”

“Who?” My mind was still on the girl
who’d just left.

“The one that you fucked and couldn’t
keep from sinking your teeth into.”

“I killed her,” I said. “I didn’t have
permission to change her. I was too terrified that I would be
killed if I let her transform.”

The memory of my meeting with the
Quatre made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I hadn’t
thought about that in awhile. Still it brought the fear.

I’m not a guy who talks about my sexual
habits, and the last person I would share that with would be
Jason.

“Then you need to get some dead, cold,
vampire pussy,” he countered, roaring with laughter as he slapped
the counter. He clutched his arms around his waist.

I rolled my eyes and pointed at him.
“You’re such a little shit.”

Jason straightened up. “Little? Look
who’s talking.” He walked toward the back, saying: “Hope you can
keep up with all this traffic in here. I’m gonna take a nap before
we take off tonight.”

“Is that a crack about my height?” I
craned my neck to see over the tops of the aisles.

He passed through the back door still
chuckling.

Tonight–Jason was reminding me I needed
to feed. Talking about all this with Jessica would have to wait
until tomorrow.