Endless Summer Nights (25 page)

Chapter 10

T
he hopeful expression in his eyes died. “I don’t understand. I know you love me. I can see it in your eyes, and the way we make love, you cannot fake that.”

She nodded and pulled her hands away, withdrawing in the same way she’d done the first time he’d proposed. “The truth is, I do love you, but I can’t marry you because I want you to be happy, and I can’t give you what you want.”

“What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.” A muscle in his jaw rippled. “Does our relationship mean nothing to you?”

“Our relationship means the world to me.”

“Then how could you just end it, again?” he demanded. “I have been living in a mental hell for the past year, because I can’t forget your laugh. I can’t forget the way we made love, the way you gave yourself to me. Whatever your reason for not wanting to marry me, you just admitted it’s not because you don’t love me. We can work through it.”

“It’s not that easy, Rodrigo.”

“Yes, it is. When you love someone—”

“Love is not enough.”

At a standoff, they stared at each other. The conversation was getting heated and they simultaneously took calming breaths.

“What obstacle is so large that love cannot surmount it?” he asked, lowering his voice.

Sidney took another deep breath. “You want children so desperately, but what if we don’t have any?”

“Why wouldn’t we? We’re both young and healthy, and we talked about it before. I told you how close I am with my family, and I want the same.”

She shook her head. “
You
talked about starting a family,” she reminded him. “Not me.”

“Are you saying you don’t want children?” he asked in shock.

“I’m saying, could you be happy if we don’t?”

“That’s a ridiculous question.” He paced away from her, running his hand through his hair.

“Answer it,” Sidney insisted. She had to know.

Rodrigo faced her again, his brow wrinkled. “I want children. I always have, and you know that. I want to be a father. I do not want to be Tio Drigo forever.”

Sidney swallowed and somehow managed to keep her face from crumpling. Just like her ex-husband, Rodrigo had a passionate desire to be a father. How could she rob him of that possibility when she knew what a wonderful father he would be? Her ex hadn’t been interested in adoption, and with the closeness Rodrigo shared with his blood relatives, she knew he’d feel the same. A child with his DNA, who had his features, his love of sports and his business acumen.

“That’s what I thought,” she said. She looked down at her fingers. “This won’t work.”

She started out of the kitchen.

“Sidney—”

She ignored him and hurried into the bedroom before she fell apart. He followed, watching her pack up her clothes.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” he demanded.

“You want a marriage and babies. It’s better this way.”

“And you don’t?”

She didn’t answer.

“What about your precious contract?” Rodrigo asked, bitterness in his voice.

She stopped and swung around to face him. Her heart thumped fearfully in her chest. “You wouldn’t withhold that, would you?”

“It’s obvious that’s all you care about,” he said.

“That’s not true.”

“No?” He laughed mirthlessly. “Fool me twice...” He walked out.

Sidney sank onto the bed, clutching the clothes she’d been stuffing into the suitcase.

“That’s not all I care about,” she said to the empty room.

* * *

Two days later, Sidney woke up miserable. She’d spent the day before in her room instead of going down to the beach or enjoying the hotel’s amenities as she’d planned.

She’d tossed and turned all night the night before, and just when she was on the verge of falling asleep, she was forced to acknowledge the morning when a courier knocked at the door and brought by the executed contracts. She should be pleased Rodrigo hadn’t withheld the order from her, but for some reason it made her feel like crying. The finality of his decision to give her what she wanted meant there was no going back now.

She barely closed the door before tears blurred her eyes.

* * *

“You’re letting her leave?” Rodrigo’s father stood in front of his desk at Moda headquarters.

“I couldn’t keep her, Father. She’s free to go.”

“But you love her and she loves you.”

Rodrigo carefully laid his pen down and sat back. “You seem certain.”

“That’s why I brought her here.”

Rodrigo sat up with a start. “You did what?”

“Don’t look at me like that. You’ve been sulking since you returned from the States and I had to do something to boost your spirits. Having a heart attack and leaving you to run the company on your own certainly didn’t help.”

His father had collapsed in a board meeting, causing quite a scare. The resulting shock waves had rippled throughout the company and the business community at large. Coming so soon after his return from the States, Rodrigo had spent much of his time maintaining order in the company while helping his younger siblings tend to his father’s care at the same time.

“About six months ago,” Gualtiero said, “one of the Belo buyers mentioned Haute Moderne fashion house and some of the pieces in their collection. We were already in negotiations to buy their stores, so that’s where the idea came from to use them as a way to lure her down here.”

Rodrigo ran his hand over his face. Now he understood why his father had changed his mind about him marrying someone from their culture. Because of his romantic nature, his father had intervened again. While his planning had worked for Branca—she’d ended up marrying the man their father had connected her with—his interference in Rodrigo’s love life had proven to be a waste of time.

“You made a mistake this time,” Rodrigo said. “Sidney is completely uninterested in marriage or staying here. You were wrong.”

“I’m never wrong,” his father insisted.

“You are this time.”

Gualtiero leaned on his hands on the desk. “She told you she doesn’t love you?”

“She refuses to marry me. What more proof do I need? She turned me down twice.”

Gualtiero frowned. “Hmm...perhaps I was wrong,” he mused. “But I had this sense... I was so sure...”

“Let it go, Father. I have plenty to do before I catch my flight this afternoon, and this conversation is very distracting.”
And disheartening,
Rodrigo added silently. He continued signing the documents in front of him. “You missed the mark this time. I wish you hadn’t, but you have.”

Chapter 11

S
he had to tell him. She couldn’t leave him with doubts about her love for him.

Sidney gnawed on her lip as she stepped off the elevator. Today a receptionist greeted her when she stepped off.

“Is Rodrigo Serrano in? He’s not expecting me, but if you tell him Sidney Altman is here, he may be willing to see me.” The receptionist didn’t say a word, perhaps wondering how she thought she’d be able to see the head of the company without an appointment.

The woman held up her finger. “One minute.” She spoke into the mouthpiece of the phone and then hung up. “I’m sorry, madam, but Senhor Serrano is out of the office on business and won’t be back until next week. Would you like to set an appointment for then?”

She was too late.

Sidney’s stomach plummeted in despair. “No,” she said quietly. “That won’t be necessary.”

Head bent and heart heavy, she took the elevator to the bottom floor. With nowhere else to go and nothing to do since she’d already checked out of the hotel, she decided to go straight to the airport.

On the way there, she made one last call to his cell phone. It went straight to voice mail. Before she lost her nerve, she let the words rush out.

“I know you’re on another business trip, and the last thing you expected was to hear from me, but I wanted you to know that I came by your office to tell you the truth. I do love you, and I’ve never stopped. And I would love to marry you. I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want that. I—” Her voice broke and grew thicker with the pain she carried. “I want to give you those beautiful babies, but I can’t, and it’s not fair to you. I can’t have children, Rodrigo. If you get this message and you think...” No, she was being selfish. “Goodbye.”

* * *

Hours later, Sidney sat at the airport with the phone to her ear, talking to her mother.

“At least you told him,” Agnes said. “Honesty is always the best policy, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Sidney sipped her soda through a straw. “He hasn’t called back,” she said glumly. She’d been watching her phone screen to see if he’d called, but, nothing.

“Maybe he’s tied up.”

“He couldn’t handle it. Just like my ex couldn’t.” She wiped a tear from her cheek and listened as they called her flight for boarding. “Mom, they’re boarding. I have to get on the plane.”

“Bye, honey. Have a safe flight, and when you get home I’ll have a pint of chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream waiting for you.”

Sidney smiled through her teary eyes. “Sounds like a plan.”

When they called her zone, she boarded with the other passengers and buckled in. She pulled the flight magazine from the seat pouch in front of her and flipped through the contents, but there was nothing in there that captured her interest. Gazing out the window, she felt an overwhelming sadness at losing Rodrigo for a second time.

Even though she hadn’t wanted to tell him the truth, she didn’t have any regrets now. The burden of her infertility was off her mind, and at least now she could say she’d come clean. She looked at the photo of her soon-to-be daughter, Alana, and managed a bittersweet smile. Soon, she’d be holding her in her arms, and she had Rodrigo to thank for that. He could have denied the contract, but he hadn’t, and with such a large order, she was ensured a huge commission and financial stability to put the adoption agency’s mind at ease. She’d even be able to take time off—a sort of maternity leave—to bond with her new baby girl.

“Excuse me, Senhora Altman?” The flight attendant looked at her with concern, leaning over the man beside her and speaking quietly. “There is a problem with your passport. They have asked me to escort you off the plane.” A burly man stood behind her, as if they thought she’d resist.

“My passport? What’s wrong?”

“We must discuss this off the plane. An airline representative will greet you when you disembark.”

Sidney’s co-passenger let her squeeze out, and the burly male took her carry-on and walked with her off the plane. She felt like a criminal and didn’t even know what the charges were.

Another flight attendant greeted her at the gate. “Please wait here,” the woman said. “We are waiting for an official to arrive.” She then walked away to speak to the large man who’d escorted her off the plane.

Sidney sat in the almost empty area of the gate. Surely they hadn’t confused her with someone on the no-fly list. She’d never been stopped before, but she’d heard horror stories about identification mix-ups, where passengers were detained because security thought they were terrorists or criminals.

She called her mother, eyes sweeping through the crowd of passengers walking down the moving sidewalk and those rushing to their gates. “Mom, I don’t know what’s going on, but I just wanted you to know I won’t be on the flight. There’s something wrong with my passport, but they haven’t told me what’s wrong. Everyone’s speaking in Portuguese, so I don’t have any idea what they’re saying. I hope—”

In the crowd, a familiar dark head appeared, dark eyes and a dark suit coming across the terminal toward her. Her heart started racing, and all she could do was stare.

“Sidney, what’s wrong?” Her mother’s voice was sharp with alarm.

“Let me call you back, okay?” She disconnected the call and watched as Rodrigo came closer.

He stopped only a few feet away. Her heart was beating so fast she wasn’t sure if she could speak. Slowly, she rose to her feet.

“How could you leave a voice message like that and then run off?” he asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how.” She bit her bottom lip. “My ex-husband... He couldn’t handle it. I felt so empty and useless...and ashamed.”

“And you thought I’d be like your husband,” he said, a grave sadness in his voice. “You didn’t trust me. You didn’t trust my love for you.”

“It wasn’t just about you. What about your family? It’s so obvious how much they want you to be a father, and even if we married, I—I didn’t want your family looking at me with indifference. I’ve experienced that before and...I hated it.”

“Do you care more about what they think about you than you do about being with me?”

When he put it that way, it seemed ridiculous to forego happiness because of what others thought.

“No,” she whispered.

“I still want to marry you, Sidney.” His face softened. “You should have told me.”

“I know, but because of what happened before...”

“With your ex.”

“Yes.”

He walked closer, coming within a hairbreadth but not touching her yet. “Luckily I was at the airport and have some pull.” He touched her face and she leaned into his touch. “I don’t care that you can’t have children. I love you, and that’s all that matters. If it’s just you and me until the end, I’ll be happy.”

“Well, it might not be just you and me until the end.” Tears blurred her vision. “I’m going to adopt a little girl, and she has the biggest, most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen.” With trembling fingers, she took out the photo and showed it to him.

He took the photo and smiled at the image of Alana. “I can’t wait to meet her, and I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Are you proposing?”

“It depends. What would be your answer this time?”

“Yes!” She flung herself into his arms, and he lifted her into a bear hug.

“Eu te amo, querida,”
he whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Epilogue

S
idney walked out to the courtyard where her mother stood watch over the children running around under the sprinkler. They’d sold the apartment and moved into a two-story house in Leblon so the children would have space to run around and play. Her eldest, Alana, chased the two-year-old triplets around and around in a circle, the four of them giggling and without a care in the world.

It was hard to believe that at one point she hadn’t been sure if the triplets would survive. After expensive fertility treatments, she’d finally become pregnant. But complications had arisen and the triplets had been born prematurely, none of them weighing more than two pounds apiece. After weeks of vigilance in the hospital where she’d barely slept or eaten, Rodrigo had finally dragged her away and insisted she get proper rest and take care of herself so she’d be at 100 percent when they did come home.

When they were finally released, she’d slept in the nursery, worried that they would stop breathing in the middle of the night or that something would happen and she wouldn’t be there to save her little miracles.

It took a long time, but she was finally able to accept that they would be fine, and Rodrigo had been patient with her. The doctors confirmed with each follow-up visit that the children were hitting each development milestone.

Rodrigo came up from behind and slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her close and out of her thoughts. “I think they are afraid of her. What do you think?”

“I think you’re right,” Sidney agreed.

It was a warm summer day and Agnes had flown in to avoid the winter cold and spend time with her grandchildren.

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to convince her to move here?” Rodrigo asked.

Right then, his father came out the back door. “There she is,” he said softly. Gualtiero completely ignored his son and daughter-in-law and walked toward Agnes and the playing children. He stopped beside her, and she looked up at him in surprise. She patted her hair and laughed at something he said.

“I’m not one hundred percent certain,” Sidney said, “but I have a feeling we might be able to convince her.”

Rodrigo chuckled and squeezed her tighter.

* * * * *