End of Day (Jack & Jill #1) (34 page)

“Well don’t start now. When I fuck you it’s fifty percent your body and fifty percent your attitude. It’s a close tie as to which one arouses me the most.”

Jillian wet her lips and rubbed them together as he sauntered toward her in just his briefs and a dark look in his eyes. She slipped off her bra.

AJ shook his head. “Not tonight.” He picked up the blanket from the floor and spread it out by the pillow.

“You’re joking right?”

“No. My parents are just down the hall and you’re too loud.” He settled onto the floor, giving his pillow a quick fluff. “And my body is still recovering from the post-flight beating.”

“I won’t make you bleed.”

His brow peaked.

Jillian swallowed, searching for conviction in her words. “I won’t … and I-I won’t make a sound.” She slipped off her thong and tossed it on his chest.

He brought it to his nose as his eyes perused her naked body. Men were such dogs. She loved smelling Luke’s clothes, but never in her life had she considered taking a sniff of his underwear.

“No.” He slingshotted the thong back to her. “Besides. I’m fighting a headache.” Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples.

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”

“Believe me, I’d gladly give you this headache.”

“You’re such a gentleman. Come here.” She slipped on his T-shirt and knelt on the bed.

“I’m good down here.”

“I’m not going to break your nose. Get your ass up here … on your stomach and I’ll give you a massage.”

He peeked open his eyes, then crawled up onto the bed.

“Have you taken anything for it?”

“Yeah, right after dinner. But it’s not doing the job.”

Jillian straddled his butt and kneaded his muscles.

“You were nervous earlier before you left to call Jackson. Was there a problem?”

“What makes you think I was nervous?”

“I’m good at reading people. You looked terrified.”

She dug her fingers into a knot under his shoulder blade and he moaned. “I said I would call him as soon as we landed and it occurred to me that it had completely slipped my mind. I guess I was just thinking of how worried and pissed he probably was.”

“And was he?”

“Of course. But everything’s fine now.”

“Why were you crying?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Your eyes were red when you came out.”

Jillian had met her match in so many ways. “He yelled at me about leaving without telling him first. It hurt my feelings.”

“Bullshit,” AJ mumbled.

“Excuse me?” She paused for a moment.

“It would take a helluva lot more than that to hurt your feelings. Try again.”

“You make me sound like a cold bitch.” She shoved her thumb into the back of his neck, her nail making claim to his skin.

“Watch it,” he warned. “I’m sure you have a warm and fuzzy part to your heart … I think I’ve caught the occasional glimpse, but I don’t see you sharing it with Jackson. You two beat the crap out of each other for no reason at all. He must have said something you’re not telling me.”

“And since when do you care? I thought we were going by the don’t-ask-don’t-tell motto for our relationship.”

“I
don’t
care. I’m just trying to keep you awake so I can escape to the floor without a physical confrontation.”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips between his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry. I …” She closed her eyes.

AJ rolled over with her still straddling his waist. “You?”

A sad smile was the best she could manage. “I don’t like that person. This sounds ridiculous, I know, but when I look at the scars that bear my name…” she feathered her fingertips over one of the bite marks on his shoulder “…I don’t recognize them. I don’t recognize the person who made them. I’m not her … yet she’s me.”

Jillian scooted down, resting her cheek against his chest. “But I wish she weren’t.”

*

Did Jillian sound
ridiculous? Someone with their sanity fully intact would have said, yes. AJ was not that someone. Her words struck a chord that vibrated to his soul and that said a lot for a man who contemplated its existence.

“Do you think I’m an asshole for not asking?”

He felt her body relax into his. “About my past?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Why? Don’t women want men to care?”

“I don’t know … if you see one you should ask her.”

AJ chuckled. He found himself doing that often with Jillian. “Don’t fall asleep. The sheets are white and my nose bleeds red.”

“I won’t,” Jillian mumbled in an already-half-asleep voice.

And then she did just that. He dared not move or even breathe. She may have fallen asleep as Jillian Knight but she would wake as someone else … a frightened, dangerous animal. AJ closed his eyes and focused on the unforgiving pulse in his head until the pain nearly broke him and he deemed having his nose broken a welcome distraction from the assault on his brain.

He had to be quicker than her, not an easy task but a necessary one for self-preservation. All at once he wrapped his legs around hers, one arm around her body including both arms and his other arm over her head. Then he rolled like they were on fire, pinning her entire body to the mattress under his.

In an instant she fought with her whole body. “Dammit, Jones!”

“Shh … it’s me. You’re fine.” He covered her mouth.

Her eyes opened into saucers as she fought with life-threatening intensity to escape.

“If I release you will you calm down?” he whispered.

She nodded. AJ could almost hear her lungs screaming for air as her heart sprinted out of control. He rolled off her.

“What the fuck?” she whispered with the intensity of a yell as she sat up to catch her breath.

AJ gripped his pounding head, as if he could physically keep it from exploding. “I’m sorry … I didn’t want to startle you.”

“Well then, I’d call that an epic fail on your part.”

He rolled his head from side to side, searching for any position that would relieve the ache, even just a fraction. “Fine, then I didn’t want to see the guilt on your face as blood squirted from mine.”

She sighed. He didn’t have to open his eyes to see the regret on her face. It happened too slowly to remember an exact moment, but none the less it had happened—at some point he started caring about her feelings.

“Let’s get in the shower,” she whispered, clasping his hand.

Nausea. Blurred vision. An angry pulsing. None of it compared to the painful feeling that he didn’t deserve to have anyone treat him with such compassion. Jillian guided him, undressed him, and helped him in the shower until the sweet relief from the heavy stream of hot water pelting his head dulled the sharp edge of agony.

He stopped the massaging motion of her hands on his scalp by covering them with his. “Why?” he whispered.

She planted soft kisses all over his face, stopping at his ear. “Because everybody needs somebody.”

*

A knock on
the bedroom door brought AJ from his sleep. Total disorientation. He wasn’t able to remember much after getting out of the shower.

“Breakfast,” his mom said with a soft voice.

He sat up in bed with caution, praying his heart would only beat in his chest and not in his head.

“Feeling better?”

AJ blinked the sleep from his eyes, searching for a body to go with the voice. “You slept on the floor?” He looked at Jillian curled in a ball on her side. There had been a time when seeing her sleeping on a hard floor would have brought a feeling of revenge or satisfaction to him. That time had passed leaving him with guilt. The whole caring-about-her-feelings thing had softened, tainted his hardened attitude.

“So it would appear.” She grinned, eyes wide.

“Sorry—”

“Don’t.” She climbed on the bed, straddling his lap. “You look like you’re feeling better.” Her hips wiggled with all kinds of suggestive seduction.

He ran his hands up her legs and under his T-shirt she’d worn. Her bare ass greeted him. A deep groan of appreciation vibrated from his throat. “Yes, I’m feeling better.”

“How much better?” She slid her hand into his briefs.

With a thick swallow he closed his eyes. “My mom’s—”

“Aric James, so help me … if you ever say the word ‘mom’ again while I have your cock in my hand, I’ll break it off. Condoms?”

“B-bag.” His lungs seemed to be controlled by her grip on his dick.

She started to move off him. He grabbed her waist.

“I can’t …” The words were there and he didn’t regret them, but he wasn’t sure how she would react.

Jillian looked between them at the head of his erection peeking out above his waist band. “I think you can.”

He shook his head. “I can’t get you pregnant.”

“O-kay …” Her brows knitted in confusion.

“I’ve had a vasectomy.”

She nodded. Her face a blank page. AJ wasn’t going to apologize, even if she had happily-ever-after dreams of marriage and a gaggle of babies. He was forty-two, irreversibly fucked-up, and done with that part of his life.

Jillian pushed down the front of his briefs and stroked him a few times. “I can’t make you bleed anymore.” Her eyes shifted from her hand to his eyes.

It was an odd statement or maybe it was the way she said it with such agony and regret.

She rose on her knees and positioned him at her entrance. “But you have to look at me the whole time. And … I know this is going to be hard for you, but I need to feel some sort of adoration, safety, contentment. Okay?”

His hands slid up to her breasts. “Okay.” He stripped the shirt off her body, the impulse to taste her was too unbearable. Sucking a nipple into his mouth he looked up at her, surprising himself—the look, the feeling—it was automatic. He did adore her.

She sank onto him one slow inch at a time. The warm pressure made it hard to keep his eyes open and on her.

“Aric James …” she whispered, “look at me.”

He opened his leaden eyelids and bit her nipple. Their bodies rocked together in a slow rhythm. She swallowed over and over again. Her body reacted in pleasure while her eyes bled the pain as she fought to keep her
need
at bay. How long could he continue to ignore her pain? The questions grew louder in his mind every day.

“Aric Jam—”

Thwarting her effort to announce their morning activity to his parents, he crashed his mouth to her. Their tongues explored and probed, heavy, labored breaths desperate to escape. Jillian’s nails dug into his shoulders so he grabbed her fingers and interlaced them with his, keeping his gaze locked to hers the entire time.

Control began to slip as their movements became more erratic. “Find it,” he gritted through his teeth as he thickened and spilled into her.

She circled her hips—grinding, rocking, searching.

“Aric—” She spasmed around him and moaned into his mouth as he massaged her clitoris with the pad of his thumb, drawing every last bit of pleasure from her.

He dropped his head to her shoulder. “Good?” he mumbled into her neck as he licked and nipped at her salty skin.

She nodded. He looked at her again, flinching at the glassy tears in her eyes.

“What’s—”

“Don’t … just don’t ask.” Jillian shook her head. “You’ll ruin it…” she kissed his shoulder then rested her cheek on it “…and it was too good. Words will spoil it.”

He hugged her to him, not wanting to break their connection. Of course he couldn’t love her—not yet, maybe never—but he loved that she pushed him for less and not more. He loved that she used her compassion as her greatest strength, and he loved the way her acceptance made him feel normal. Was it possible to love so much about her and not actually love
her
?

“Your mom’s probably wondering where we are.”

He teased his teeth over her shoulder and up her neck. “If you ever mention my mom again while my dick is lodged inside you, I’m certain it will fall off.”

She laughed. “Touché.”

Day

L
uke never forgot
the feeling of rescuing someone from a fire. He also never forgot the feeling of being a few seconds too late. Some days he could feel Jessica in his arms, just seconds from that breath of air. Then there were the moments he felt like he had her by the hand but she was slipping … falling … fading into the darkness—the point of no return.