Emotionally Charged (10 page)

I would have locked all my emotions away too.

Dean shifted and I wiped frantically at my face to dry it before he turned around.

“Thank you, for sharing that with me,” I stuttered, hoping my words weren’t completely useless. “I understand now what it means to be a hero.”

He faced me and I shivered.

I grew colder inside than his presence had ever made me. Anything Dean had opened up, he’d now closed again tighter than ever before.

He sat back next to me on the lounge and asked about what we were going to try next.

I casually caught another tear with the flick of a finger and suggested we take a break and spend the rest of the day watching TV.

We sat close, our shoulders just touching enough to share warmth between us, but inside the sensation of cold only grew.

That night, I wriggled myself into a semi-comfortable position on the beanbag again before Dean could say anything about sleeping arrangements. He came back in from his shower and stood still in the middle of the room for a moment before getting into his bed.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “For being angry that night we first met. For not saying thank you for what you did.”

I didn’t know what to say. I had obsessed over that so much at the time, but forgotten about it again until he brought it up. It just didn’t seem to mean so much anymore. “That was you angry? I was the one yelling like a crazy person.”

“I was angry, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, really.”

Dean paused, his jaw clenching briefly. “It’s just, I saw this mousy girl-”

“Hey!”

“-willing to take on two big guys, willing to risk herself to save a stranger. To do something like that, you have to be something really special. It made me so angry, the thought that something so special could have been hurt, for someone like me.”

Neither of us said anything else.

I hadn’t done it for him. I’d done it for myself, to feel like a hero, to be praised. I had no idea what it meant to be a hero, not then.

The next morning, I woke up and saw Dean sitting on the side of his bed, watching me. Something inside felt different, a turmoil of hot and cold, and then it came.

Ice grew in me, crystallizing and encasing every sensation of Empath power I knew. And then I felt nothing at all. Not the warmth of the power, not the cold of Dean’s blocking. Nothing.

I ran through the trailer park, trying to connect to any emotion at all but nothing came.

It was done. I was normal.

***

At night, the overgrown park across from the mall felt like a scene from Grimm’s Fairytales. The wooden play fortress loomed in shadows and the slight breeze made tree branches creak against each other. Only one street light at either end of the park provided lighting, and both flickered. It was cold out and I pulled the fleecy jacket Dean had given me close in around me. It smelled of him.

I hoped the cold would give us an advantage, so the team wouldn’t sense what was happening until too late.

I’d called Jake earlier that day. He wasn’t happy to hear from me, and I begged, I begged shamelessly to be given another chance to be part of their team again.

I wondered what time it was, whether the team was late. I felt like I’d been here hours. But Dean and I did get here much earlier than we needed to, to give Dean a chance to get hidden before the agreed meeting time.

The hiding place looked uncomfortable, particularly with his arm still hurting him so much. He suggested the park while I tried to think of somewhere with a place Dean could hide, public but without other people around, and that wouldn’t seem more suspicious to the team than I thought this already must.

Dean knew the park well, and its special hiding place that only local kids know.

A car pulled up beside the park. Not one of the team’s usual favorites, but it was them. My blond prince charming who had turned from beauty to beast strolled up to me followed by his pack. They seemed confident and I sighed inwardly. It meant we cleared the first part of the plan I’d worried about. Dean was able to hold in his blocking power. If he hadn’t been able to, the team would have sensed him as soon as they arrived. I’d only realized it could be an issue after he’d already locked me down, so we had no way to test he could do it. But Dean seemed confident. He said he’d worked something out. He had something inside now he could use to control his abilities. Now I just had to hope he could keep holding in his general block and still shut each of the team down for good individually.

Jake wore a dark leather jacket over a stark white designer shirt. He stared at me with disdain. I marveled at the face I once thought so dreamy that now spoke of nightmares.

“So, hi.” Lame. I had to get my brain working, keep them engaged, talking, so Dean had time to do his part. But seeing Jake and the team flicked the off switch in my head. I shivered and it had nothing to do with the cold.

“Living rough, Honey?” Emma smirked at my outfit. She, of course, looked ready to hit a catwalk, mini dress, stiletto heels and all.

“Yeah, things have sucked.” That was a direction I could take, playing to their egos. “But it was good to see what it’s like without you. And it was basically a whole lot of sucking.”

Jamie, looking like a mini version of Jake, chuckled. “That’s what she said.”

Jake held up a hand, silencing his brother, and glared at me some more. “So you think you can manage it now, doing what we do? You want it bad enough? Not going to flip out like a freak again and mess up our plans? You got us into all kinds of trouble with that stunt.”

“I’m sorry.” The words tasted disgusting in my mouth, but I worked to keep my emotions stable. “I know I screwed things up.”

Donnie looked more and more uncomfortable as we spoke. He tried to get Jake’s attention a couple of times but Jake kept shushing him, too busy enjoying a good gloat at my expense.
Come on, Dean.

 “And why should we even want to bring you back in?” Jake strode around me in a circle. He must be able to tell how uncomfortable this whole situation made me. I hoped he thought it was just nerves in his oh-so-glorious presence, the bastard.

He came to a stop behind my back. He groaned softly. “What is that? I feel…”

Donnie looked drained. “I’ve been trying to tell you, something’s happening. I think the blocker is here.”

Jake grabbed me and turned me to face him, shaking me. “Is he here? Did you bring him here?”

Last ditch effort. “It’s probably just the cold you‘re feeling?”

Donnie looked around frantically. “I think he’s locked me down. I’ve lost it all.”

Jake shoved me and yelled at his team. “Find him! He’s got to be close by.”

Jamie moved in a flash. I guess Dean hadn’t gotten to him yet. He sprinted around the park, checking the perimeter, behind trees and fences, in high grass.

Donnie moved slower. He went to the play equipment and wooden fort. I tensed, and tried not to watch and make it obvious where Dean hid. Climbing through it, Donnie’s adult footsteps clunked heavily on the timber. I hoped for a plank to snap under his weight but didn’t get lucky. But they weren’t finding Dean.

Emma watched Donnie’s slow, normal movements for a moment with her mouth agape. “I can’t. I can’t lose my powers. I can’t go back.”

She fled, just a blur till she reached their car, and took off in it on her own. Quite a feat in the shoes she wore.

Jake pulled a gun from the hem of his jeans behind his back. He pointed it at me, and his hand shook. “I’m not losing this power, Livvy. You’re dying first.”

I knew Jake wouldn’t be shy about turning to guns. My plan was to keep Dean safe until Jake and his crew were all locked down, then they could be the cops’ problem. Dean didn’t like it, with him hiding and me in the firing line, so I came up with a plan that comforted Dean’s concerns for me, but to be honest, I wasn’t so sold on. But right now I had few other options. Without my powers I was already at a disadvantage, and I didn’t have firearms as a fallback.

“You can’t shoot me. If I don’t get back safe by midnight, you’re done. I’ve given that phone you got me to someone, and if I don’t see them again, they will turn it in to the cops, along with all your numbers, that lovely happy snap of us and notes on all of you and your activities.”

Jake’s face became a feral mix of snarl and smile. “You think I care about that? I’ve still got plenty of cash to get away clear and can change my face if I have to. But I won’t have to. I will still have my powers, and with my powers
I
am the law. You hear that out there, trash?” Jake called out into the park where Donnie and Jamie still hadn’t found Dean. He kept the gun held in front of my face. “If you shut me down, this girl is dead. Crawl out of wherever you’re hiding and we can all just sort this out.”

A low wall in the base of the wooden fortress shifted, just within the join of two sections of the construction; a gap that had been badly patched up when the original builder’s plans didn’t line up quite right that left the perfect hiding place.

“Dean, don’t!”

The wall hinged open, revealing a standing room only space and Dean stepped out and walked toward us, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

Jake whipped his gun away from me and fired.

No hesitation, no time to stop him, no time to talk him out of it, no time for anything.

He shot Dean, just like that.

I ran to Dean, but it felt like a dream where everything was too slow.

A look of shock hung on Dean’s face and he stopped still. He stared at his chest like he couldn’t believe the way the blood pooled and spread across the fabric of his shirt. Like he’d spilled ketchup on himself, and might just laugh with embarrassment and brush it off. Then his legs buckled.

I ran. I was too slow.

I skidded under Dean just before his head hit the ground, catching it in my lap. But I had been too slow to have stopped the bullet, pushed him out of the way, saved him.

Dean’s skin was more blue than pale. He kept his teeth clenched, panting between them.

“Help!” I screamed into the night uselessly. If the gunshot hadn’t brought anyone, my scream wouldn’t either.

“Liv?” Dean grasped for one of my hands. “Listen. I’m sorry.”

He bled so much.

I let out a wheezing cry.

“For pushing you away. Being scared of you. Of feelings for you.”

Jake yelled at me. “Stand back up, Livvy. I want you facing me.”

I didn’t want to hear him. I only wanted to hear Dean, to keep hearing him talk so I knew he was still okay. I cradled Dean’s head and he held me trapped in the gaze of his gray eyes.

“Didn’t want to feel like that. That risk of losing someone I needed again. The feeling was, is, too intense. Shutting it down gave me what I needed to control these powers. But I don’t want to anymore, don’t want to shut it down. Not if I’m dying. I want you to know.”

“You’re not going to die. Good guys don’t die,” I sobbed.

“Livvy,” Dean breathed.

My chest burned. The fierceness of what I felt for Dean scorched through me, the pain and pure need. And not just mine. It came from Dean as well, warming me throughout like a nearby fire.

Arms, hard like steel, yanked me away from Dean and I screamed like I’d been torn apart. Jamie had me pinned up against him, pulling me away. I kicked and wrenched my body around but his grip was charged by emotion. Emotion he stole from me. My pain.

Jamie dragged me back toward Jake, but he felt weaker and weaker.

No. I was stronger.

Any ice inside had melted away and power unfurled within me, wild and mighty. Dean had unlocked my powers again, by sharing this warmth. I could fight back, get help for Dean, save him. There was still time.

I tore one arm free of Jamie’s grip and turned so I could see Dean on the ground again.

I had to let him know everything was going to be okay.

His eyes were closed, and body gave a startling shudder then went still.

 I let out a sound between a scream and a roar.

I’d fallen in love with him. Had he been trying to tell me that he felt the same? And he was going, or already gone.

I ripped into Jamie, who still tried to keep hold of me. Donnie came to help him, unpowered, but still strong and half my size again. I sparred back, ducking their blows and kicking, scratching, jabbing between them with more strength than they could ever know. I drew the power from myself, from the fury of my own emotions, not stealing the scraps from others.

Jake kept his gun aimed our way, but didn’t fire at the risk of hitting one of his own. I was surprised he had even that much moral fiber. He stashed the gun and came to join in by hand.

Love gave me the strength to keep all three men at bay.

But the pain…

Dean taught me what it meant to be a hero, a real hero. He taught me I didn’t need some fake fairytale hero to save me, that I could be the hero. But I couldn’t save him, the one person I wanted to save the most.