Embracing the Wolf - Book #2 (Anna Avery) (13 page)

“I’ll live,” Adam said, giving confirmation to my unspoken question.

I hadn’t realized I was tense until I felt my body substantially relax. Adam had become something to me that no other man was able to achieve. I knew without a doubt I loved him, even if I hadn’t spoken those three little words yet. Even with my certainty of feelings for the man before me, I still struggled to voice them. I credited it as my fear I’d always had toward commitment, but if I was being honest, it was because the intensity of our relationship left me speechless. Saying, “I love you” didn’t seem sufficient, though I didn’t know any other words to convey what my heart was telling me every time I looked into his eyes.

“Hey,” Adam said, reaching a hand up and gripping my chin to turn my face toward his. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

I gave him a small smile and shook my head. “Nothing,” I lied. “I’m just relieved you’re going to be okay.” That was the truth. “If something were to happen—” 

“Stop,” Adam interrupted. “This is nothing.” He signaled to his leg where the wound hid beneath his pants. “As long as I have you, I have something to live for. Not even a vat of silver will keep me from clawing my way from death to stay beside you, Chante. We’re infinite.”

My lips curled inward, and I bit down on my upper one to keep from smiling like a fool. My eyes blurred with tears from the sincere words he so easily spoke. Where I found trouble voicing my feelings, Adam laid them bare.

“You know,” Adam said, bringing me out of my thoughts. “The ceremony was disrupted before I pledged myself to you. I had a surprised all planned out.”

“Oh?”

“Mhmm,” Adam hummed. “Tonight, we’ll complete the ceremony, low key. I’ll invite the wolves here and finish what we started.

“It can wait,” I told him. “You’re still healing and the conference starts today. It’s going to be chaotic. I just want you focusing on getting better.”

“Nonsense, you’re all I’ve focused on since you came to live here. And this cannot wait.”

“Okay,” I said bewildered. “We’ll do it tonight then.”

Adam smiled—pleased he got his way. “Now, get out of here. I should be resting, and you’re making it very hard to concentrate on anything but those tiny ass shorts you’re wearing.”

I laughed and shook my head at him. When I began to stand, he gripped my arm and pulled me back down.

“How am I supposed to leave when you won’t let me?”

A playful glint shone behind his sapphire eyes. “You didn’t really think you were going to leave without so much as a goodbye kiss, did you?”

“Hmm … I wouldn’t dream of it.”

* * * *

“Protect your throat at all costs,” Sawyer said, and I nodded. “Fighting is all about instinct. You really don’t have to worry about much. You held your own against Eve. Had Adam not pulled her off you, you might have been able to finish her yourself.”

“I was pissed then.”

Sawyer smiled. The sun glinted off his dirty blond hair and bronze chest. Memories of our one night together flitted through my mind. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. I knew he still had feelings for me, but he also knew he had to move on. Most people wouldn’t be able to remain friends after an ordeal like that. I was happy that we were both mature enough to see past it. Sawyer was a part of my pack and I his; the bond that goes with that is stronger than petty jealousy.

“Pissed off is good,” Sawyer commented. “When you’re in a fight for real, those emotions will help, but they can also hinder. Don’t allow your anger to override your common sense.” He unbuttoned his jeans and let them slip down his strong legs. I began to shimmy out of my shorts and tugged my tank top over my head. I ignored Sawyer’s heavy gaze. If Adam knew I was standing in my underwear in front of him, I’d get chewed out. Not because he didn’t trust me or because I was almost nude, but because he knew how Sawyer felt. His anger would come from the hungriness reflecting from Sawyer’s eyes. Coveting one’s mate was a dangerous line to toe, especially an alpha’s mate. I just prayed he had enough sense not to cross it.

“What do you do if your hind legs are attacked?”

“Kick out?”

Sawyer’s head bobbed up and down. “With any luck, you’ll land a blow to the eyes, and the attacker will release you. Just listen to your wolf and allow her to act solely.”

I nodded, and Sawyer fell to his knees. I did the same, happy for the ten feet or so separating us. While I liked Sawyer, the blatant desire he refused to hide made me uncomfortable and guilty. I knew it was illogical to feel guilt, but I couldn’t help it. Had I known that Adam and I would bond, I never would have gotten involved with Sawyer. What’s done is done, though, and moving forward is the only way to get past it.

I closed my eyes and called my wolf forward.

“I’m going to pin you,” Sawyer said, and I cracked an eyelid open. “I want you to break my hold by any means necessary, got it?”

I nodded and closed my eyes again, concentrating on the beast lying in wait just beneath the surface of my skin. Her power caused my skin to tingle, and a rush of energy to burst through my veins. It was such a commanding high that I would never get used to. A shot of adrenaline raced its way through my body, and then I was on four paws instead of my hands and knees.  My wolf relished being released. She hadn’t gotten the chance a lot in the past week. We hadn’t done our nightly runs like before, because my nights were often occupied—twined around Adam’s body. She liked that just as much, though, I knew she loved to be in nature—running and hunting, too.

There is no realistic way to explain what it is like to transform into an animal. She holds influence over me, a constant dominant voice in the back of my head. I trust her instincts as much as she trusts mine. When she’s at the forefront, I’m tucked firmly in the back of her mind, aware of everything that’s going on.

We watched Sawyer transform. His wolf’s fur was the color of silver with sprinklings of black and white. My wolf’s eyes flicked to the rustle of branches, as a breeze blew through the valley. There was a crispness in the air that hadn’t been there before, a sure sign of an early winter in the mountains.

Sawyer’s wolf rushed me. My wolf stepped back just in time to miss his sharp teeth. We circled around one another. The playful glint in Sawyer’s golden eyes was full of mischief.  I lunged forward and tackled him, sinking my teeth into the scruff of his neck. My teeth had a firm hold, but I made sure to gauge the pressure so as to not puncture the skin. Sawyer thrashed, and my grip broke. I stumbled to the side, trying to find my feet when he attacked. He leaped onto my back, sending both of us crashing to the ground. I used the momentum to roll so that I was the one on top, and I struck.

“Do you yield?” I sent the message to Sawyer’s mind, my jaws wrapped around his jugular. His wolf lay limp beneath me, giving in to his alpha female.

“Yes,” Sawyer replied.

I released my grip and took a step away when he bounced up and pounced. He gripped my tail between his teeth, and my wolf whelped in surprise.

“You yielded,” I said accusingly.

“Rule number one: never let your guard down.”

“Duly noted.”

I positioned my weight on my front paws and kicked out with my back legs. Sawyer’s grip didn’t lessen. I bent my body and tried to sink my sharp teeth into any part of him, but the angle was all wrong and I was left snapping at open air.

I was struggling so much that when he let me go, I stumbled forward and nose-dived into the ground. My wolf was not a happy camper. She let out a low growl and whirled around ready to tear Sawyer apart for the humiliation.

Loud masculine bellows of laughter halted her attack. Sawyer had changed back and was lying on the barren ground, his back to the earth and his hands resting on his taut stomach while he stared up at the sky.

He looked over at me and burst out laughing again. Through my wolf, I could feel her confusion at his merriment. A rush of tingles washed through my body as I tucked her away and changed back. I stood with my hands on my hips and stared down at Sawyer. I smiled despite his prank.

“Is that any way to treat your alpha female?” I teased.

Sawyer looked over at me, and his laughter stopped. His lips parted, and his eyes grew hungry as they raked over my nude body. Their path left a shiver in their wake.

“Stop looking at me like that,” I said in a serious tone. I cared about Sawyer as a friend, and if Adam ever saw the look he was giving me now, he’d be dead before the sun could set.

“Do you ever think about it?”

I bent and picked up my clothes. “About what?”

“Our one night,” Sawyer said, standing. He made no move to retrieve his clothes. I kept my body angled toward him so that my shoulder was to him, and I kept my attention on my clothes. I worked my shirt so that it wasn’t inside out.

“That’s a double edged sword,” I said. “If I tell you no, it’ll hurt your feelings. And if I say yes, it’ll look as though I’m not loyal to Adam, which I am.” I met his eyes with that last statement. Whatever nonsense was going on in Sawyer’s head, he needed to know that nothing would ever happen between us again.

“So which is it?”

I slipped on my shirt and shimmied quickly into my shorts. My bra and underwear were ruined from the change. I picked the scraps of material up and stuffed them in my pocket as best as I could.

I took a deep breath as I turned to face Sawyer. Right at that moment, he bent down—ass facing me—and picked up his clothes. My eyes fell to the ground so quickly, my vision blurred for a moment.

“Can we not have this discussion again, please?”

Sawyer stood, fumbling with his clothes. “I think about it,” he said quietly, almost as though he was talking to himself rather than me. “I can’t look at you without remembering that night.” His head lifted, and his eyes met mine. They were full of heat, but also something else, something sadder. The pain hiding behind those beautiful green eyes made my gut twist in guilt. In a different world, I could see myself very happy with Sawyer. However, there was no point in entertaining a ‘what-if’ scenario.

“Sawyer, I—”

He held up his hand. “You don’t have to apologize for you and Adam. I don’t like it, but I understand. It just … sucks. I’m not purposely trying to make things harder on you, Anna.” He slipped on his jeans. I watched as his fingers slipped the bronze button through the hole and then went to the zipper.

“I’m working through things and sometimes the shit slips out,” he said. “I’m happy that you’re happy.” He paused and locked eyes with me. “I just wish it was with me.”

Sometimes I do, too.
I didn’t say it. There was no point in giving him false hope. I just knew that things would be easier with Sawyer. His life wouldn’t rest in my hands like Adam’s did. As much as I loved Adam, our relationship was more complex than anything I was used to. Adam was in a league all by himself compared to the men I had dated in the past. While I could entertain the idea of a simpler life with Sawyer, I knew even if I could change things and not be bonded to Adam, I wouldn’t. I’d take our complex relationship over an easy one any day of the week.

Portable bleachers had been brought in for the festivities. Rows of them sat on either side of the open space like a makeshift football field. After sleeping most of the day, Adam was starting to feel better. I huddled next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning my head against his shoulder. I knew his body was still recovering, and my closeness would keep him warm. The weather in the mountains is fickle at best. It could be sunny and ninety degrees in the plains while a snowstorm brewed at the highest peaks.

Adam turned his head, and I looked up at him, smiling. He still stunned me every time we made eye contact. He was mouthwatering in so many ways. His blond hair hung over his sparkling azure eyes. I watched as his full lips stretched into a grin that had my panties wanting to drop.

“Adam, dear.”

Just like that, the spell was broken. I sat up and tried not to frown at Maggie’s intrusion. Her lips steeled into a line when she looked at me. Today, she wore a gray pantsuit with a pale pink undershirt. Her blond hair was upswept and professional, just like her outfit.

“Hello, Mother.”

Maggie removed her icy gaze from me. Her eyes softened when she looked upon her son. She reached a hand out and rested it against the side of Adam’s face, concern filling her eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Adam said. “The amount of silver must not have been as great as Sunny anticipated.”

“That’s excellent news, and I’m so happy you’re on the mend.” She smiled, but her eyes cut to my face. “It helps you’re from a strong bloodline.”

The glance was brief, but I knew what she was saying—that I wasn’t worthy of someone of his stature. That’s the great thing about the heart, though; it doesn’t care about labels, race, creed, or social standings. The heart is blind to the nonsensical bullshit that weighs down societies.

“Have you spoken with Chloe today?”

“She stopped by to check on me, but I was asleep is what I’m told,” Adam said. “I’ll have to thank her for her concern.”