Ember (21 page)

“Nice to see you, Your Grace,” said Birdie, dipping her head down.

“You too. Those headbands look really pretty.”

“Would you like one? I’d be happy to make you one.”

“I’d love that. Thank you, Birdie.” I smiled.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I will give it to Evette when I am finished. Do you have a preference on flowers?”

“Surprise me.” I shrugged and waved as Kai kept walking.

She smiled and continued working next to Willa who refused to look up at me.

Kai opened the door for me and called out, “Mom? Allura?” But no one answered.

“She’s probably at the Harvest Borough,” I commented as we walked inside.

“Are you actually considering bonding with Prince Twig-Up-His-Butt?” Kai faced me with his arms at his sides.

“Sakari?” I chuckled. “Someone a little jealous, Kai? I didn’t know you cared so much,” I teased, knowing I was about to push major buttons. “I thought anything between you and I
obviously
meant nothing.”

Kai rolled his eyes and turned toward the kitchen.

“Oh c’mon, Kai. Can’t take a little joke? Looks like someone else has a twig up his butt.” I couldn’t stifle the snicker.

He spun back and marched with determination in his step. “I’m just a concerned citizen of this kingdom. Whether or not you’re the one on top, we don’t need some young power hungry Rymidonian coming in and turning our sacred kingdom into whatever he wants it to be.”

I set my face seriously and held my ground. “Kai, you know I’d never let that actually happen, right? Do you not trust me?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Then why would you think that even if I did bond with Sakari, I would let him take over? No matter the decision I make for bonding, I won’t be doing it lightly, and it wouldn’t be to anyone who thinks they could walk all over me.” I clenched my jaw.

Kai stared down at me, unblinking, not saying a word. I wasn’t about to lose in this staring match so I set my stance and looked right back at him.
Who was going to back down?
It wasn’t about to be me. I was done backing down.

He moved a step closer to me and then another. My heartbeats fluttered rapidly. We stood toe to toe, and suddenly there was something in his eyes that I was not prepared for, and my body was reacting to him. His indigo eyes flickered from my eyes to my mouth and back. We’d been in this position before. Before I backed down. This time I didn’t want to.

Kai leaned in. “Who do you want to bond with, Calliope?” His voice was soft yet assertive. The sound of my name coming from his lips never ceased to quicken my breathing.

“I haven’t made that decision yet.” The confidence in my voice wavered as I matched his quiet tone.

“You know who you want to bond with. You’re just too afraid to say it out loud.” His eyes never left my mouth. He wouldn’t meet mine.

“How can you be so sure?” I watched his eyes, waiting for him to lift his gaze.

“Because I know you.” His face inched toward mine—making his intensions apparent—and I realized then it wasn’t my pride keeping me from backing down at all. “Are you going to stop me?” The indigo flickered up at last.

I hesitated, but decided to be honest. The cloud in my mind navigating my judgment grew thicker. “No.” With my answer out in the open I couldn’t stand firm and meet his eyes any longer because I finally placed what his eyes held. Desire. My gaze drifted to his lips that hung slightly open.

“Why?” His breath fell across my waiting lips.

“I don’t know.” Breathless, I kept my eyes focused.

My answer was rewarded with his half smirk and then his lips grazed across mine. I felt his hand cradle my neck, urging me closer, and I gasped. Before I could even react, someone stormed through the door.

“I’m going to kill Declan!”

I stumbled back, feeling a guilty twist in my stomach, and I didn’t know why. Kai simply turned and glared at his sister.

“You’ve made that threat about a hundred times over the course of our lives. I’m still waiting for the follow-through.”

She grunted and fell back across the couch in the front room. I was still catching my breath and working over in my mind what had just happened. How could I have let that happen? Allura must have caught onto the vibe in the room.

“What’s up with you two? Did I interrupt something?”

“No,” I said quickly, while Kai turned the conversation back on her.

“What’s Declan done this time to get your wings in a twist?”

She sighed and draped her arm across her forehead. “He won’t listen to me. If he would just listen to what I have to say, things would play out much more smoothly. I can help.”

I chuckled, but tried to play it off as a cough when Allura glared back at me.

“What exactly is it that you two couldn’t seem to agree upon this time?” Thankfully, Kai took the reigns of the conversation after seeing my inability to act normal.

“It’s as if he doesn’t think I know what it’s like to lose a father. He’s holding himself captive in his house and won’t let me in.”

“Maybe that’s because he doesn’t want to talk. Have you ever thought about that?” Kai folded his arms in a relaxed stance. How could he possibly be so relaxed?

“He doesn’t have to talk. I just don’t think he should be alone. It’s not healthy.”

“It’s only been a couple days, Allura. Let him be.”

“Hmph,” she breathed. “He’s never shut me out before.”

“There’s a first for everything,” Kai said dryly.

Allura turned on her stomach and peered over the armrest at us. “Will you go see if he’ll let you in?” she asked Kai. “Maybe he’ll talk to you.”

“Allura—”

“Please? Please, Kai?” Allura’s ocher eyes pled with him. I wouldn’t have been able to say no to her face. It was too sad and pitiful.

His face softened. I noticed there were only a few people in this world that could do that do him—his mom and his sisters. “Okay,” he relented. “But if he doesn’t let me in, I’m not pushing, and you’re not allowed to either. We’re going to let him come out on his own.”

“I can’t promise that,” she said with a shake of her head.

“At least give him a couple more days, Allura,” he bargained. “It won’t help to push him.”

“Fine,” she agreed begrudgingly. “Just go to him now. He needs someone. Please, Kai.”

He exhaled, and I literally saw his shoulders rise and fall as he did so. “I’ll be back.”

She sat up and watched him leave. “Thank you, Kai.”

He nodded before walking out. I could tell this was the last thing he wanted to do, but he was doing it anyway. For Allura.

“You must miss him.”

Allura lifted her eyebrows, questioning me.

“Your dad,” I clarified.

She shifted uncomfortably, sitting up on the couch, and I wished I could retract saying anything at all. It escaped me why I had said in the first place.

“Allura, I’m sorry if I overstepped in saying that. Kai doesn’t really talk much about your dad, but I know you all must miss him.”

A look of pain crossed her face before she met my eyes. “He’s probably too ashamed to talk about him.” The shame in her voice surprised me, and then she bit her tongue as if she had said too much.

I sat down beside her and waited for her to continue.

Allura nibbled on her bottom lip and dropped her eyes to the wood floor. “Our father was a good man, Calliope,” she said as if to convince herself as well as me, “but he made some bad choices during his life.”

“Kai said he died defending Faylinn, but I haven’t been able to get much else from him. He’s not really an open book.”

She exhaled deeply. “Our father was one of Favner’s top supporters before he took over Faylinn. I don’t think he knew what Favner actually stood for … but what he led my dad to believe made my father Favner’s right hand man.”

I felt sick. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.” My arms wrapped around my stomach, hoping to ease the nausea. “But why? Why did he support him? So many people died because of Favner.”

Allura kept her eyes on the ground and shook her head. “I don’t think he knew Favner was planning to kill your uncle, nor do I think he knew Favner was involved with all of the other deaths and disappearances. He didn’t know Favner would take away our freedom. But he believed in a more regulated system. There was a lot of play and not a lot of work and, my father felt it was important for everyone to pull their weight, and Favner was going to give us that.”

“My father took some liberties in the kingdom, placed doubt in minds that hadn’t picked sides yet and helped Favner take over Faylinn. He instigated a lot of dissention. He was fed lies and was
stupid
enough to believe them,” she spat. “I love him, but I also hate him for that. And I hate myself for feeling that way.”

I felt guilty for even bringing it up. It wasn’t her fault her dad was a lousy excuse for a faery. “I’m sorry, Allura. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

She shook her head. “You have every right to know. Once he saw what Favner really had planned, once he knew that he had made a mistake in supporting him, he tried to rectify it, and for that he was killed. He did die for Faylinn. It was simply too little too late.”

It suddenly made sense as to why Kai was always so hot and cold. He must feel guilty. That must be why he even agreed to guard me in the first place. The realization hurt. He didn’t do it because he cared.

He’s protected me out of obligation.

Chapter Nineteen

M
y head was beginning to pound as I continued to scour the scrolls and came up empty handed. How could there not be more material on the earliest bondings and why they felt this was the only way? Did anyone really know?

Kai shifting his position interrupted my concentration. He stared out the far window in the atrium window seat. He had to be so tired. Without Declan, he refused to leave my side. I could see the dark circles forming under his eyes. I didn’t know when he slept last. For all I knew, it hadn’t been since the Fallen ceremony. He was going to make himself sick.

We hadn’t spoken much since yesterday. When I opened my bedroom door this morning I was met by him. He didn’t say so much as a good morning before he gestured for me to head to breakfast, and that was basically how the rest of our day had gone.

“How’s Declan?” I quietly broke the silence.

Kai kept his gaze fixed out the window. “As good as one can be after losing their father.”

I nodded, debating carrying on the conversation. He obviously wasn’t in the mood for chit-chat. “Did he let you in?”

He paused before answering. “Yes, but he asked to be alone, as I knew he would,” he mumbled.

“Did he say anything else?”

Kai exhaled heavily, agitated. “He told me he would come out when he was ready. I believe him. He’ll be okay. He just needs a few days. I’m going to respect that,” he said brusquely.

“I know you’re right. I think Allura just needed that affirmation from her big brother.”

He snorted. “Yes, Allura is so concerned with my opinions.”

I knew I was wading into dangerous waters, but I went ahead anyway. “Kai, are you okay?”

His head fell back against the windowsill, and he groaned. Though I don’t think he meant for me to hear him. “Why wouldn’t I be okay, Calliope?” he muttered.

Did I dare say it? He hadn’t spoken a word willingly to me since we kind of kissed. It had been replaying over and over in my head. What had happened between us was probably forbidden. It wasn’t any different than what Raina and Brokk were hiding.

“You’ve just been a little more quiet than usual. And if I’m being frank, a little snippy.”

“Frank? Who’s frank?” He tilted his face to me.

“
Open
. If I’m being open and honest.” I attempted to stifle my chuckle.

“Then why would you be Frank? That doesn’t make sense at all. Why wouldn’t you just be Calliope? Calliope never filters her words.”

“Okay,” I snickered. “We’re getting off track here. I just want to know what’s going on with you.”

“Nothing. I’m fine. But we should probably discuss Tag and Jaryn.”

“Oh, that’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up. What’s going to happen to them?”

“For trying to kill the Queen?” he scoffed, bringing his feet to the ground to face me. “They will be put to death.” He looked at me like, duh.

“They won’t even get a trial to plead their case?” Though I didn’t like the thought of two faeries who had tried to kill me set free, I liked the idea of them being put to death even less.

“They’ve been asked what their motive was, but they wouldn’t say. But that doesn’t matter. We caught them during the act. A trial isn’t really necessary, Calliope. Death is the consequence.” He said it so conclusively I couldn’t help but cringe.

“Can I talk to them?”

“You don’t have to try and prove anything. Just because you are Queen doesn’t mean you have to talk to them or even try to reason with them. It would probably be useless anyway.”

“I want to. Maybe I can get something out of them.”

“Yes, because brunt force and threats of death haven’t gotten us anywhere, of course a little chit-chat will solve everything. It’s not as if you’ll use your Supremacy. I know you won’t. Why do you think I haven’t bothered to bring you to them? It’s just going to put you in harm’s way.”

“So. They know they are going to die. Why would threatening them make them want to talk? I just want a few minutes with them. If I can’t get anything out of them, then we can do whatever is necessary. I know they weren’t acting alone.” I wanted to slap a hand over my mouth. I didn’t mean to say that last part.

“And how exactly do you know this?” He eyed me skeptically.

Though it didn’t pass my lips intentionally, I couldn’t get out of it now. I needed to tell him. And he was not going to be very happy. “A little while ago I heard Dahlia—at least I think it was Dahlia—talking with a few other girls about how there was a plan in place, about how I wouldn’t be a problem for much longer.”

“I’m sorry. What?” I didn’t need to repeat myself. He heard me. The glare in his eyes was enough to make me cringe. “Why did you keep this from us?” He stormed over to me. “You really do have a death wish, don’t you, Calliope?”