Elm Tree Road (23 page)

She had the letter to the Garretts ready to give to the postman by the time he came the following day, and then could only wait to find out if they had heard anything from Renie.

In the meantime, she kept herself busy. There was a lot to do to bring the farmhouse up to scratch.

It was strange how comfortable she continued to feel when she was alone with Hugh. She didn’t let herself hope for the impossible, but concentrated on enjoying his company and getting to know him better.

He seemed to be doing the same.

Though he did hold her hand a lot and smile at her and … She really should stop daydreaming.

The following weekend Nell agreed to keep an eye on May so that Hugh could get on with some urgent editing work which had arrived that week. She insisted the girl tidy her room and help with the cleaning. ‘Your room is in a dreadful mess.’

May looked at her in outrage. ‘Pearl was supposed to do that sort of thing, so it’s your job now.’

Nell felt annoyed at this cheeky answer. She didn’t believe in spoiling children, even ones whose families were in comfortable circumstances, and she wasn’t going to put up with May speaking to her like that. ‘Pearl didn’t have time to do everything in such a big house and I shan’t have, either. Besides, no one should be expected to pick up dirty clothes after a big girl like you. We’ll make a fresh start from now on, and I’ll check every day to make sure your room stays tidy.’

‘It’s
your
job to do the tidying up,’ May said at once. ‘And anyway, I always sit in my uncle’s office and read at weekends. He
likes
me to be with him.’

‘Of course he does. But he’ll also like you to grow up knowing how to run a house. That’s a woman’s main job.’

Hugh came in just then and May fled to him, sobbing out her protest. But when he heard her complaint, he sat her down at the table and said firmly, ‘Mrs Greenhill is right, May. You can’t just sit around reading all the time and expect other people to pick up after you. That’s lazy. I have work to do, and at your age, you should definitely be clearing up your own room. What’s more, if Mrs Greenhill asks you to do something, I expect you to obey her as you would me.’

This made the girl sob even more wildly.

Nell beckoned to Hugh and moved over to the door, saying quietly, ‘Leave her to me now. The more attention you give her, the more she’ll protest.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Don’t let her be cheeky.’

‘I won’t stand any nonsense.’ She went back to her work, and the minute the door closed behind Hugh, the sobbing lessened. She didn’t even look at the girl.

‘You’re mean,’ May announced after a few moments of silence.

‘I’m doing what all mothers do, since you don’t have one of your own now. I’m teaching you to do the housework, just as my sister taught me after my mother died.’

‘
My
uncle is rich enough to pay other people to do the housework.’

‘And he’s sensible enough to want you to learn how it’s done, and not grow up lazy and ignorant.’

‘Well, I’m not doing it.’

‘Are you really going to disobey me?’ She waited and added, ‘And him?’

There was dead silence, and when she looked again she saw a sulky scowling face. She put away the last dish. ‘Right, let’s go and do the bedrooms now. Yours is in great need of a complete turn-out. You can bring the polish and the dusting things. I’ll take the broom.’

In the bedroom, she looked at the candlestick beside the bed, which was covered in melted wax. ‘You’d better take this downstairs. We’ll clean it properly later when we do the lamps.’

May snatched up the candlestick. ‘In London, my uncle has electric lighting in his house, even in the bedrooms and servants’ rooms, so there aren’t any lamps or candlesticks to clean. And the Vacuum Cleaner Company come to the house every week to clean the carpets and floors.’

‘Then why are you refusing to go and live there? I’d love to have such modern aids. I’ve never even seen a vacuum cleaning machine, though I’ve read about them. I don’t enjoy cleaning lamps and candlesticks, either, but if I want to read in the evenings, I have to do it.’

May stamped her way down the stairs.

When she came back they worked in silence, with Nell occasionally giving a quiet instruction to do something, and May huffing and sighing, but doing it.

When they’d finished, Nell stood by the door with her hands on her hips. ‘There. Your room looks so much better. And it smells better too.’

There was a sob beside her and she found May in tears, couldn’t help taking the child into her arms and met with no resistance this time.

‘What’s the matter, dear?’

‘Mummy used to stand there and say that. I miss her so much.’

Nell moved across to the bed and let the girl cry against her, tears rising in her own eyes.

When there had been quiet for a moment or two, she looked at May.

‘You’ve been crying too,’ the girl said in surprise.

‘Yes. You reminded me of how I felt when my mother died. And how I felt when my daughter died a few months ago.’ She felt tears run down her cheeks. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t be troubling you with my sorrows, only I miss my daughter very much.’

A hand crept into hers. ‘Uncle Hugh told me. I’m sorry you lost her.’

They sat for a while, but this time in a more companionable silence, then Nell stood up. ‘Come on. Time to prepare lunch.’

She hoped they’d made progress today in getting on together, wanted very much to help this sad confused child.

A reply arrived from the Garretts on the Tuesday. Once the postman had left, Nell held the letter in her hand for a moment or two, afraid to open it, then told herself not to be stupid and tore the envelope, pulling out the single piece of paper it contained.

Nell stared at the last sentence in shock.

‘Bad news?’

‘It’s from the Garretts to say they haven’t heard from Renie. And … look at the PS.’ She passed the letter to him.

‘Why would he go all the way up to Lancashire again? Did Cliff’s mother say anything when you went to see her?’

‘No. And I’m not going to see them again. I don’t like Frank.’

‘Let’s sit down and plan what to do next, then.’

‘It won’t do any good to go and see my father.’ But
she did sit down and let Hugh fuss over her, needed that comfort.

‘We’ll both go to see your father,’ he said after a while. ‘That’s the only avenue left to explore now for your older sister.’

‘I know Mattie won’t have gone back to him, or even got in touch with him. He’s not her father, after all. She and I just share a mother. You don’t understand what he’s like, Hugh. He’s a horrible man, a real bully. All he cares about is money.’

‘Nonetheless …’

She argued with Hugh, but though he remained as gentle as ever, somehow, an hour later, she found herself agreeing to go into Swindon with him on the Saturday afternoon to ask her father if he’d heard from Mattie.

‘We should take May with us,’ she said. ‘It’s not good for her to be left out. And anyway, we need to get her away from here regularly, if you’re to take her back to London next month.’

‘You seem quite set on getting me back to London.’

She blushed. ‘I’m sorry. Perhaps it isn’t my business when you go, or even whether you go.’

‘Of course it’s your business, especially if you’re to stay with us, which I hope you will. My former housekeeper in London moved to another position a few months ago and my house is all dust covers and chilly silence at the moment.’

‘You should take May to see it and ask her to decide which room she wants for a bedroom.’

‘She and her parents have visited me there a few times. She knows the house and has always slept in the same bedroom.’

Nell sighed. ‘I don’t think May’s sure of anything at the moment. Take her to London, Hugh. Visit the house, discuss the move and ask for her opinion about something there, anything.’

He sat frowning slightly for a moment or two, then he looked at her. ‘I’m only going back to London if you come too … Nell?’ he prompted when she didn’t immediately answer.

‘Are you sure you want me to stay on as housekeeper there? I’ve no experience of London ways.’

‘As housekeeper for the time being. Perhaps more, later.’

She looked at him warily. Surely he wouldn’t want her to continue pretending to be his fiancée?

‘We’re good friends now, aren’t we, Nell?’

She nodded, still wary.

He picked up her hand. ‘I think we could move on to become more than friends. In fact I want to do that. Don’t you?’

She jerked her hand back in outrage. ‘I’m
not
going to sleep with you!’ She’d fallen into that trap once, wasn’t going to do it again.

‘
What
?’ He looked at her with a puzzled expression, then anger replaced it. ‘I wasn’t asking you to become my mistress. I was trying to court you, in my own clumsy way. What have I ever said to make you think I would treat you like that? If you’ve changed your mind and don’t want to get to know me better, you have only to say so.’

‘Surely things don’t need to change? You can tell Mr Dover that we’re not getting married and—’

He stood up, shoving his chair back. ‘But I do want
things to change between us. Think about it, Nell. Decide whether you want to find happiness, or whether you want to live alone inside that fence you erect round yourself every time I mention my feelings and ask about yours. And let me know when you’ve decided.’

He walked out of the room, his body stiff with indignation.

She sat there shocked rigid. Was that how he saw her? Sitting behind a fence? Not letting anyone get close to her, especially him? He was so wrong.

She bent her head and stared down at her clasped hands as she admitted to herself that she wanted him to court her. Oh, yes. She wanted it very much.

But she was terrified of it too. He was so much above her, she didn’t understand how he could possibly care for her in that way. She’d made a bad mistake once, with Cliff, and had paid dearly for that. Hugh ought to be marrying a proper lady, someone of his own class, not an ordinary working woman like her.

And apart from her own feelings, she didn’t want to ruin his life, cared about him too much for that. She pressed one hand to her mouth as she admitted to herself how very much she loved him.

Was it possible for them to be together? Should she let him court her?

It took her a full hour to gather her courage together and knock on the door of his study.

‘Come.’

She took a deep breath and opened the door. ‘Hugh …’ Her voice faltered, but she moved into the room and went across to where he was standing by the window, determined
to apologise. She stood beside him, not touching him, staring at her clasped hands as she began to say her piece. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been a coward, afraid to … even try.’

She sneaked a quick glance at him and saw his expression lighten. But he didn’t say anything, just looked down at her and waited for her to continue.

‘I’d like us to get to know each other better. Could we try?’

His smile was glorious. He pulled her into his arms, and before she realised what he intended, he began kissing her.

Before she could think about what she was doing, she was kissing him back. And oh, this was nothing like Cliff’s hasty kisses. There was no fumbling, no hurting her breasts, nothing but the tenderest and yet most exciting of kisses. When that ended, he brushed her cheek with his fingers and then pulled her again into the cradle of his arms.

‘Ah, Nell. I can’t say how happy you’ve made me.’ He drew back and smiled down at her. ‘You look as if you’ve never been kissed before.’

‘I’ve never been kissed like that before.’

A small frown creased his forehead. ‘Wasn’t it … good between you and your husband?’

She shook her head, blushing hotly. ‘No. I didn’t enjoy that side of things at all. You may as well know it. He said I was … unnatural, cold.’

‘If everything goes as I intend, you will enjoy it with me. I’m quite sure you’re not cold. But we’ll take things slowly, make sure you grow used to kissing and caressing before we move too quickly to other delights.’

‘Yes, please. Only Hugh …’

‘What?’

‘I still can’t think what you see in me.’ The caring in his face made her feel weak, it was so wonderful.

‘I see a woman with an indomitable spirit, who walks through thunderstorms on her own and recovers from a tragedy that would have destroyed a lesser person. I see a caring and loving woman, who’s kind to a grieving child who can sometimes be very rude. Someone who loves learning – and yes, I know you’ve not been formally educated, but you’re nonetheless very widely read, and can discuss what you’ve read intelligently. I’m afraid I could never be fond of a stupid woman, however kind and pretty she was.’

‘Oh.’ Warmth flooded through her, relief that he didn’t consider her stupid, and happiness too – such a warm fragile emotion.

‘I also see someone who blushes delightfully when I give her a compliment, who’s pretty and soft, and whom I want to kiss each time I see her, or even when I think about her.’