Elizabeth I (85 page)

“No, I meant earth. A reputation. A body of work that lives on. Politics—it is a whiff of smoke, soon dissipated, soon forgotten.”

“The higher reaches of both offer immortality,” he said. “Not having the merit to attain either, I am better off to cast my lot with the one that pays highest.”

“A Machiavelli.”

“No, a practical man. Many must deny their ambitions or higher callings in order to put a plate on the table.”
You would not understand that
was his unspoken comment.

“A man must do what he must,” I admitted. “First we must survive.”

“Unfortunately, yes. That is the great truth.”

I looked carefully at him, at this young man who had veered off the path he was most suited for. His alert green eyes, his commanding height, his quick mind all bespoke his appeal and gifts. But they were compromised, devalued, in his service to the earl, where he would labor in obscurity.

Again, the waiting. Day after day tiptoed by, as if they, too, were holding their breath with the rest of us. Essex had gone north. Even at this very moment something was happening, but I could not know what.

A Captain Lawson arrived. Unlike Cuffe, he was sweaty and rough. It befitted his announcement: Rather than engaging O’Neill or vanquishing him, after going north and hunting for the elusive rebel, Essex had met with him in secret conference and concluded a treaty that essentially capitulated English interests.

“Outline them,” I commanded this Lawson.

“He conferred with O’Neill in the midstream of the Lagan River between the two armies drawn up at the ford of Bellaclynth. First Essex challenged him to a duel, but the Irishman declined. Then he invited him to a parley, on neutral ground, where they could discuss their positions. The Irish army was stationed just behind the hills, out of sight, so we could not judge its size. Essex met with him, and after they parted, he announced that they had settled on a truce, renewable every six weeks, that guaranteed peace. The Irish are to keep possession of all their conquests until that moment, and the English promised to establish no new garrisons.”

“There were no witnesses to this? The two men spoke alone?”

“That is correct, Your Majesty.”

“Treason!” I cried. “To parley with a traitor, in secret, no witnesses present, against my express command to speak to him only if he sued for unconditional surrender or begged for his life. And then he has settled a truce with him, on terms entirely favorable to the Irish? It is nothing short of capitulation. To let them keep all their conquests. To hold back from manning new forts. A truce, renewable every six weeks, buying them time until the Spanish land to join forces with them.” Oh, God! I had been betrayed. England had been betrayed. We were destroyed in Ireland.

The enormity of the blow quite took my breath away. Not only the money and men sacrificed, but the future. Ireland gone! An enemy, a rebel, at our back door, free to welcome the Spanish.

I excused myself, went into a private chamber, and tried to control myself.
Stop trembling. Think
. I closed my eyes and willed myself to become still. Moments passed, and then I reemerged.

“I shall write the earl,” I said. “And you shall take the letter directly back, pausing not a whit.”

I withdrew and composed a letter. It was dated September 17, 1599. I told him of my anger and distrust. “To trust this traitor upon oath is to trust a devil upon his religion.” That was the crux of it. I ordered him to press on against The O’Neill. I refused to confirm any of the terms he had settled on with him. I declared them utterly null and void.

As I wrote, so furiously I can barely remember the wording of the letter, any more than a screaming victim can remember what he cried as he was set upon, I could not know he would never see it.

Thrusting it into Lawson’s hands, I had a sudden question. “When did this illegal parley take place?”

“On September 7, Your Majesty.”

Somehow I had known it. My sixty-sixth birthday. Was ever a monarch given a more odious gift?

“Ten days ago,” I said. “Ten days! Leave tonight, to carry my orders to him. You should be there in three or four days.”

“Your servant,” he said.

Like a restive animal, I suddenly felt my quarters like a cage. Greenwich’s wide green lawn seemed to shrink and imprison me. The view over the widening Thames only reminded me that Spanish ships might soon bob and float upon it. I wanted to await news safely away from London, in a more secluded and protected place. I would withdraw to Nonsuch, south of the city and in wooded hills.

I left hastily, taking only a small guard with me. For government councillors, I brought Cecil, Carey, and Knollys. The rest would stay behind, ready to receive news and alert us.

Once again, south over London Bridge, through Southwark, and then into Surrey. This time we headed west rather than east toward Beddington. The late-September sun was benevolent, evoking all the autumnal words that poets dwelled upon: “golden,” “fruitful,” “russet,” “fallow,” “fulfilled,” “leaf-strewn,” “mellow.” A blaze of brilliant yellow surrounded us with falling, and fallen, leaves. The air seemed thick and rich, as if we were looking into a piece of amber, leaves, insects, and specks embedded in it. Spring had its delicate beauty, summer its somnolent murmurs, but autumn whispers its urgent messages to the soul. Hurry. Reap your harvest.

Nonsuch was musty. I had not visited it in several months. My father had always rejoiced in throwing open the windows and reclaiming his rooms. Would he have roared with joyous laughter now? Or would he have been too weighted down with cares of state to bellow as he loved to do?

Being here gave me a semblance of separation from the pressing matters of war. In the neat, stripped-down chambers I could try to strip the national situation down to its essentials. Ireland. We could not lose it. Essex was, in the most charitable interpretation, a fool. Or ... he had sold England’s interest to the enemy in exchange for some secret promise of reward. Which was it?

I did not want to think the worst. That was the way of tyrants, leaping to conclusions, condemning without evidence. I would await his response, and obedience, to my letter. This was a test, the supreme test, of his loyalty.

Only Catherine and Helena had accompanied me. Dear Eurwen I had sent home, for safety’s sake. She should be far away should trouble strike. The Welsh borderlands had not seen turmoil since the days of my grandfather. She had wept at leaving, and I at losing her. I had heard no more from Marjorie in Oxfordshire, and I was glad to spare her more alarums.

Evenings were quiet: a balm to my spirits. We retired early, after partaking of the fresh perry from the surrounding orchards.

There is a great deal to be said for retiring early. I embraced a monk’s daily hours and found myself in bed when, at court, I would have been still dancing or card playing. I kept the windows open and felt the cold-tinged air come into the chamber, soothing us, saying,
This is eternal. The seasons arrive and pass, but England abides.

On the second-to-last day of September, I awoke slowly and naturally. No one roused me; no one shook me, whispered in my ear. No, I had the luxury and privilege—rare for a monarch—of arising when I would and moving as slowly as I liked.

I felt exceptionally groggy today. I stumbled out of my bed and asked for a tub of warm water to be brought where I might soak my feet—and wake up. It was placed in my innermost private chamber; I approached it gingerly and set my feet in it. The warmth spread up from my feet into my legs. But my mind was still dulled, floating. I must harness it. I was loath to do so. There was nothing but trouble to ponder.

I sat, arms draped, slumping, over the wooden tub. My nightgown was hiked up, allowing my legs to soak without wetting the gown. I felt like a dolt, someone who could not even add a column of figures. I kept shaking my head, as if that would awaken me.

The door flew open. Suddenly, before me, the Earl of Essex. He rushed in, then knelt before me. He was covered in muck.

My enervation was gone, vanished in an instant, fear bristling in every fiber of me.

“Your Majesty,” he said, his voice shaking.

I sat, my legs in the tub of hot water, in my nightclothes, bereft of all trappings of majesty. Where was my guard? How had he gained entry to my inner chambers?

For an instant I could not speak. He was here, when he should have been far away in Ireland. I had forbidden him permission to return.

“I must plead my case before you,” he said. “My enemies at court have poisoned your mind against me.”

Here I was, almost naked—of clothes, of guard, of knowing what was what outside the palace—at his mercy. He stood before me, in his military garb. Had he surrounded the palace with his army? Had he brought it back from Ireland, all three thousand men of it? Why had I had no warning from London? Had he quite overpowered all the royal forces? I must play for time.

“And what case is that?” I asked, as naturally as if this had passed in a council chamber. I lifted my feet out of the tub and Catherine dried them off.

My wig was in my dressing chamber; likewise my clothes. There are those who, seeking simplistic answers, say that surprising me in my natural state gave Essex such an advantage over me that I never forgave him. That is nonsense. I am proud, and I do not wish my weaknesses to be paraded before the world, but my thinning hair and lack of proper clothes did not enter my mind when Essex barged in. My only concern was: Was I surrounded? Did he have the upper hand?

“Cecil—my enemies in council. They wish to see me destroyed and will spend every last ounce of their efforts to discredit me. I know while I have been gone, they have been busy, securing appointments for themselves and painting my actions as entirely black.”

I drew myself up, as if I were in royal robes instead of a towel and a nightgown. “Why are you not at your post?” I asked him. “And why have you returned, against our express permission? Surely you have not abandoned your duty to come here to quarrel about minor matters?”