Ecstasy Wears Emeralds (33 page)

Under it, in Rowan's familiar and nearly illegible handwriting, she read:

Chapter
26

Lady Pringley's maid escorted him up to her parlor, and Rowan understood immediately that this was not an emergency after all. His usual route to her bedroom was rerouted to a formal and unwelcoming room in drab olive green.

His patroness didn't have a headache or an attack of her nerves, but she did have a guest. Mrs. Jane Hamilton was sitting to her right, her posture ramrod straight in a gunmetal gray traveling dress. From the grim look on the woman's face and the electric excitement on Lady Pringley's, Rowan knew that whatever venom the woman had been spitting in her own sitting room in Standish Crossing had just arrived in Town.

“Dr. West! You see, I told you he would come quickly enough!” Lady Pringley's color betrayed just how much she was enjoying her role in the unseemly drama. “Dr. West is my most favorite physician and a delightful man, Mrs. Hamilton. When I received your inquiry, I knew immediately that there was some misunderstanding in play, but”—she indicated a chair for Rowan—“I knew Dr. West would appreciate a friendly hand and intervention to help sort things out. Isn't that right, doctor?”

“How fortunate for me that Mrs. Hamilton was able to find such a conscientious and concerned ally in you, Lady Pringley. But there was no need for a third party, Mrs. Hamilton. My door has always been open to you.”

“Do not think to charm me now! I'll not have it!” Mrs. Hamilton pulled out a handkerchief, wiping away real tears of frustration. “You're a villain! And I knew there wasn't a soul who would believe me! But I've kept a close watch on you and cut out every article or word I could find on your life here. At the time, I thought it was for my own wretched study, but now, I see that it was Fate! For how else would I have known that Lady Pringley was your patroness?”

“Fate?”

“You have my niece! You've lured her here somehow and corrupted her in some sick game to destroy me.”

So much for that imaginary trip to the Continent!
Another look at Lady Pringley and he knew she was in gossip heaven at the moment, absorbing every acid-tipped word out of Mrs. Hamilton's mouth. Her ladyship was ready to burst with excitement to hear what he had to say in his defense and unconsciously had leaned forward so as not to miss anything.

“I have no desire to destroy you, Mrs. Hamilton.”

“You have my niece, Miss Gayle Renshaw, do you not? Are you denying that she is . . . How can I phrase this, Dr. West, without fainting away from revulsion? Is she a ‘guest' in your home?”

“Mrs. Hamilton.” He took a slow steadying breath and deliberately kept his eyes on Jane Hamilton's, his voice low and soft. “Come back with me to my brownstone and see for yourself. You and I are bound by the tragic loss of your daughter, Charlotte, and I cannot imagine that you truly wish to discuss all of this here.”

“I . . .” She wavered, as if suddenly realizing the unforeseen risks of the scene she'd created. “I thought if your patroness knew you had Gayle . . . I wanted to punish you. . . .”

He nodded. “Of course.” He bowed to Lady Pringley before holding out his hand to escort Jane out. “Your ladyship will excuse us. I cannot say how much I will miss being in your service.”

The woman sputtered her disappointment at being denied the rest of the story but couldn't prevent their retreat.
Sadly, she's guaranteed to keep me now, if only to try to wheedle the rest of the tale out of me later.

The ride back to the brownstone was brief enough, but to Rowan it seemed an hour as he sat like a man awaiting his executioner. Mrs. Hamilton refused to even look at him, and he decided it best to wait for the privacy of his study.
There is simply no mercy in this world.

“Carter, we'll be in the study. Let Miss Renshaw know to come down as her aunt is here.” He led Mrs. Hamilton up the stairs and invited her into the private sanctuary of his study to shut the door firmly behind them. “How did you know to look for her in London?” he asked calmly.

She pulled a letter out of her reticule. “She's been writing to me all along. But when she sent this last vague missive full of descriptions of shops and her ‘travels,' I recognized the stationery as yours. I'd stared too many hours at your correspondence with Charlotte to not know the paper and spy your initials in the watermark.”

“Fair enough.”

“How could you, Rowan? Have you some vendetta against my family? Against myself? How many young women would you destroy to achieve your goals?”

Gayle's voice rang out from the doorway, her cheeks flushed with her race down the stairs. “Did he send for you?”

“He most certainly did
not
send for me!” Aunt Jane stomped her foot at the impertinent suggestion. “The demon was perfectly content to keep you without a word to your nearest and dearest and without lifting a finger to persuade you to return to safety or sanity!”

“I am the one who decided to go! I am a grown woman and not some child to be chased after, Aunt Jane!”

“Then act like a grown woman! Mr. Chester made you a decent offer, and thanks to my efforts, the poor man still believes that you're in France picking out wallpaper and china!”

“I'm not marrying Mr. Chester! I'm going to be a doctor! And Dr. West had nothing to do with my departure, Aunt Jane! It was my idea to come to London and—”

“Nothing to do with it, you say? Were you about to protest his innocence in this situation? He killed my poor Charlotte, and now, he's turned you into a whore! You are in no position to defend him, Gayle. He is despicable, and for some reason I cannot fathom, you've
housed
yourself with the worst man living—knowing how I feel!” She started to cry, overwhelmed with unhappiness. “How could you, Gayle? Knowing I hate him more than anyone in the world? Knowing . . .”

“What do I know?” Gayle knelt at her feet. “Say it, please, I beg you. What happened to Charlotte? For you've never said it! I only knew there were secrets and I only knew that I needed the leverage of secrets to get what I wanted.
I
was the villain that put my own desire to become a doctor above everything else. But I have to know what horrible hammer I've been swinging about like a stupid child! I have to know, Aunt Jane!”

Mrs. Hamilton covered her face with her hands but finally looked at Gayle and began to speak. “Sh-she was always an emotional girl. You don't remember, as your visits were so infrequent, but she was . . . beautiful and sweet.
He
”—she bobbed her head in Rowan's direction, clearly unwilling to speak his name—“came to Standish Crossing to stay with a university friend, young Mr. Hedley of the Briarstone Hedleys, the ones I had always admired. I approved of him by association, and when he showed a great interest in Charlotte . . . it was a nice bit of romance.” The last few words were confessed in a whisper. “He was going to India, but Charlotte didn't seem to want to hear of it. She was . . . so in love . . . so desperately in love. I should have seen how unhealthy it was, how unseemly she felt, but I thought it would be good for her to wait for his return. It would temper her nature and teach her patience and the rewards that come with it.”

Jane's voice filled with grief and fury. “He must have known! He must have known what state he was leaving her in! He . . . used her. He cruelly used her and sampled her maidenhood, and then he simply . . . left.”

Rowan stood with his back to them, his hands pressed against the shelves. Gayle stared at him for a minute, a part of her wishing he would interrupt the tale and change its course, but another part of her was beyond desperate to know the truth at last.

Mrs. Hamilton went on, anger increasing the power of her speech. “I can only imagine her terror and anguish! To be left like a whore with your bastard inside of her and only the promise of your return! Charlotte was too sweet to bear it! She said nothing to any of us but sought out some tinker of a butcher to get rid of it, and . . .”

Jane stood, her hands fisted and wringing her reticule into an unrecognizable mass. “She suffered terribly. The infection and the fever were . . . It was a nightmare and then she was gone. I didn't know what had happened at first, but when the surgeon's wife told me the truth of what her husband had discovered . . . You killed her, Rowan. You did this to my child, and I cursed your name and prayed that God would make you suffer the way my child suffered.”

Rowan's head dropped and he was the very image of defeat. “I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Hamilton. And while I doubt it will comfort you, your curses worked.” He turned back to face them both, raking one hand through his hair with a sigh. “I spent over a year in a dungeon in India in the dark, hungry and tortured. It was . . .” He straightened his shoulders, drawing himself up to his full height. “But it was nothing compared to your suffering, Mrs. Hamilton.”

Gayle stood on shaky legs. The physical change he'd undergone was explained by his tale of imprisonment, but where was his protest? Where was his denial?
Could it be true? It explained so much if it was true. His guilt from a distance. His confession. Was the Rowan she'd come to love the kind of man to use a young girl and leave her defenseless?

“Rowan?”

“I will leave you, ladies, to your conversation. I believe my part in this is concluded.”

“Rowan!” Gayle took one step toward him, but the unmistakable pain in his eyes warded her off.

“It's been a long and unbelievably eventful day. I'm going to stay at a friend's.” He bowed briefly and withdrew without another word.

“You are on a first-name basis with him, I see.” Aunt Jane finished wiping her eyes, and then blew her nose. “Well? What have you to say for yourself?”

Gayle turned back to face her. “I should apologize.”

“You
should
? Does that mean that you are going to?” Mrs. Hamilton's sarcasm was unpracticed but potent. “Is it even possible for you to see what you've done?”

“I've lied and deceived you. It was terribly wrong to pretend to go on tour instead of telling you what I intended.”

“Is that all? You're only sorry for lying?”

“You told me to act like a grown woman, Aunt Jane. So, yes, I'm sorry that I lied.”

“And the rest of it? You disregarded my feelings and my grief and ran off to be with a man that you know I completely despise! And for what? Some nonsensical quest to play at being a doctor? You are delusional if you think anyone will allow it! But for this, you sever ties with your family and throw yourself off the edge of the social world?”

“It isn't nonsense, but yes . . . if you put it in those terms, then, yes. To become a physician, I was willing to give up anything. I love you, Aunt Jane, and so I lied rather than confront you with my dreams. I knew you wouldn't understand. But that was a mistake.” Gayle's voice grew stronger as she continued. “I was willing to become cruel and use any means necessary to get what I wanted. But that was a mistake. I was willing to break my own heart—and Rowan's. But that was a mistake.”

Mrs. Hamilton stood slowly, staring at her as if she'd transformed into a stranger. “Y-you have your inheritance, Gayle. Come back with me to Standish Crossing. As you said, it was a mistake.”

Gayle shook her head. “I'll never go home again.”

“You don't mean that.”

“Good-bye, Aunt Jane. I'm going to stay and beg Rowan to continue my education. And if he refuses, I'm going to accept his offer to find another doctor who will further my studies, even if I have to leave England to make it happen. I'm going to earn my medical degree and I'm going to become a doctor. As you said, I have my inheritance. I'm not going to hide or lie anymore.”

“You would do this? Knowing what he is?”

Gayle nodded. “He's paid for his mistakes. I can't ask him to look back anymore.”

Mrs. Hamilton's cheeks reddened, her eyes filling with tears. “I shall wish you well, then. Consider yourself cut off, Gayle. You have no family to speak of and I—I will always feel as if I've failed you.”

“You never have failed me. I'm going . . . to miss you, Aunt Jane, but I pray that one day you'll think fondly of me again and understand that I only meant to improve myself and help others. I never wanted to hurt you, but I have. And for that, I will be eternally sorry.”