Echoes of Love (19 page)

And she heard nothing from him.

The only news she got came via Phoebe.

‘Zac says the best thing you can do is butt out for now,’ she told Anna. ‘Apparently, when he quizzed Felix about what happened between you two, he just said that no way was he
going to let you stab him through the heart again. That’s really poetic, isn’t it? For a boy, I mean?’

Anna had no option but to pin all her hopes on Christmas. Phoebe had told her that Zac and Felix would be home on Christmas Eve for ten days. On Shannon’s advice, she tried to change
everything about her old self: she had her hair cut into a feathery bob, let it return to its natural colour, got herself a French manicure, and blew more cash than she should have on clothes.

‘See, the important thing,’ Shannon, who was very into psychology at the time, explained, ‘is to surprise him with the new look which tells his subconscious mind that you are
now different in outlook as well as in the way you look. Clever, eh? I read it in
Psychologies
magazine.’

Anna began to have high hopes, but on Christmas Eve, she went down with flu. On Boxing Day, Phoebe sent her a text.

Zac and Felix going skiing 2moro. F spending 2nite at our place. Over 2 u!

‘What are you doing?’ Mallory demanded a couple of hours later as Anna, white as a sheet, staggered downstairs, wearing her coat, scarf and gloves and clutching a gift-wrapped
package. ‘You’re ill. And don’t come near me – I don’t want your germs.’

‘I’m going out for a breath of fresh air,’ Anna replied. ‘It’ll make me feel . . .’

What it was going to make her feel, Mallory was never to find out. Anna had fainted on the hall floor.

‘You wouldn’t have wanted him to see you looking like road kill,’ Shannon remarked the following day, when Anna sobbed out the story on the phone.

‘Tell you what – you said he’d be qualifying or passing out or whatever they call it next month, right? Get the Harvilles to take you along to the ceremony.’

‘I suppose.’

‘And when you’re there, you tell him that from now on you won’t let your father rule your life,’ her friend concluded.

‘I wish it were that simple,’ Anna sighed.

‘Anna Eliot, life is as simple or as difficult as you choose to make it,’ Shannon declared. ‘Just do it!

For two days she didn’t get a reply. When she did, she wished she hadn’t.

The mention of a rock concert reminded Anna about the tickets she had given to Felix for
Sugar Lumps
at O
₂
. Who, she wondered miserably, would he go with now? She didn’t
have to wait long for an answer. The next day, she found an envelope on the doormat addressed to her in Felix’s looping scrawl.

For a moment, she dared to hope.

She ripped open the letter. The two tickets to the concert fell out at her feet.

This would have been fun. Guess you can find someone more suitable to go along with. F

That was when she fully realised the extent to which she had hurt him. And resigned herself to never getting him back.

Ironically, just a few weeks later, Anna’s father was persuaded by his lawyer that continuing to hold out and make a scene was not wise. He made a substantial donation to the
Alzheimer’s charity (the world didn’t have to know that it was Marina’s money, since his own finances were frozen until his creditors had been satisfied) and Cassandra, following
a muted apology in the press, accepted that this matter was closed.

None of which made Anna feel in the slightest bit better.

CHAPTER 13

‘C
OME ON, COME ON, GET A MOVE ON!’

Anna tapped the steering wheel in irritation as she was forced to crawl along the road into Kellynch village behind a grindingly slow tractor and trailer. It was only a few days until the
Fleckford Music Festival, and she had a thousand things to do. The band wasn’t up to scratch with their pieces, she still hadn’t finished preparing for her first session with the summer
school kids at the theatre the following day, and to cap it all, Marina, who was about to leave for her ten-day trip to Madeira, had given her a huge box of tombola prizes to drop off at Uppercross
Farm on her way to rehearse at Mia’s place.

‘For pity’s sake, pull over!’ Anna shouted, her hands gripping the steering wheel. Her stomach was turning over and over, her chest was tight, and she had to fight the urge to
burst into tears.

And she knew deep down that none of it had anything to do with the crawling tractor ahead of her.

Felix was home. He and Zac had been back in England for ten whole days. They’d both been checked over and discharged from Selly Oak Hospital; Zac was back with his mum and Phoebe, and
Felix had been staying with Cassandra in her new flat in Bythorn, but today he would be arriving at Hampton House. What’s more, he would be staying with Ruth for at least a month while he had
physio three times a week at Stoke Mandeville hospital.

She knew all this from Phoebe, who had been nagging her for days to get her act together.

‘You’re nuts,’ she had said a few days earlier. ‘Zac’s been to see him three times – even I went yesterday. And what do you do? Nothing.’

‘You don’t understand,’ Anna had sighed.

‘Too right I don’t,’ her friend agreed. ‘I mean, if it was Cameron, I’d do anything to get to him.’

‘Yes, but you two are still together,’ Anna pointed out.

‘Despite my mother’s best efforts, yes we are,’ laughed Phoebe. ‘Honestly, Anna, he’s so gorgeous and do you know what he did last week? He bought me . .
.’

Anna was so used to hearing Phoebe eulogising about Cameron that she switched off mentally and let her carry on. When she finally paused for breath, Anna voiced the question that had been
plaguing her ever since he got home.

‘Did – did Felix mention me at all when you were there?’

There was only a slight pause but it was long enough to tell Anna what she needed to know.

‘He didn’t, right?’ she asked.

‘Well, no, but then boys don’t talk about the things that really matter do they? Just go and see him, OK?’

But Anna hadn’t gone. And she knew why – because if she went to see Felix and he didn’t want to know, all her hopes would be dashed. Better to wait and pray that, when he saw
her around the village or playing at the Festival, all the old feelings would come to the surface and he’d realise that he needed to be with her.

Like that was really going to happen.

The tractor finally turned into a farm track, and Anna pressed down on the accelerator and roared the last half mile down to Uppercross Farm, startling chickens and the farm cat as she turned
into the yard and squealed to a halt outside the back door. Bunting was stretched across the farmyard, and a huge poster advertising pony rides and trailer tours had been stuck into the lawn by the
tearoom in readiness for the Festival.

Staggering under the weight of the box of tombola prizes, hardly able to see where she was going, Anna kicked open the permanently unlocked back door. Her foot hit something soft, something that
yelped loudly – and she felt herself stumble. The box flew out of her hands and she landed heavily on the quarry-tiled floor.

‘Anna!’

She looked up. It was as though for an instant the entire room was in freeze-frame. Bea, with her hands clasped to her mouth in horror; Ruth Croft, hand outstretched to take a slice of
shortbread; Charlie, Mallory and Louisa stifling laughter, Henrietta, can of cola halfway to her lips, plus a slightly disgruntled dog that had now retreated to a safe distance.

And Felix. Felix, his right cheek partially covered in gauze, his left hand strapped in bandages and two fingers in plaster, was sitting somewhat awkwardly in the pine chair on the far side of
the huge kitchen table staring straight into her eyes.

This wasn’t how it was meant to be. She’d planned everything so carefully – what she would be wearing, how she would behave, even the words she would say to Felix. Anna got up
very slowly.

‘Lulu, get the arnica,’ Bea ordered Louisa. ‘She’s got a nasty bruise coming up already. And Henrietta, don’t just stand there – pick up those
things.’

She patted Anna’s hand.

‘You look exhausted, darling,’ she fussed. ‘Mind you, with all that’s been going on these last few weeks I’m hardly surprised, losing your home and . . .’

She stopped short, glancing with embarrassment in Ruth’s direction.

‘Oh, and of course you know Felix,’ Bea gabbled.

‘Hi,’ Anna murmured, conscious that Felix was now averting his gaze.

‘You two know each other?’ Ruth asked Anna. ‘Well why didn’t you say so before?’

‘Maybe she didn’t think it was important.’ The tone of Felix’s voice was like a knife plunged straight into Anna’s guts.

‘They say Felix might get a medal for bravery,’ Bea rattled on, taking the tube of arnica cream from Louisa and patting some on Anna’s cheekbone. ‘Isn’t that
wonderful?’

‘That’s a long way off,’ Felix said hastily. ‘If it happens at all.’

‘You said you had to go back to Plymouth in a bit for a parade and medals,’ Ruth pointed out.

‘Those are campaign medals,’ Felix explained. ‘Zac’ll get one – all of them will. Anything else comes later.’

‘You were so amazing,’ Louisa enthused. ‘I’ve been watching all the news reports.’

‘And I cut out all the bits in the newspapers about you,’ Henrietta cut in. ‘I’ve never met a real hero before.’

‘Charlie’s my hero, aren’t you?’ Mallory chipped in, clearly anxious not to be left out. She slipped her hand through his arm and pouted in the way that always gave Anna
the urge to throw up on the spot.

‘Talking of Zac, how is he?’ Anna asked, hoping to engage Felix in some sort of conversation.

‘He’s gone down to Dorset – Sula’s family have a house at Lyme Regis,’ he said, still talking to the room at large rather than look at Anna. ‘It’ll do
him good – he’s been really low lately.’

‘Not surprising after what you’ve all been through,’ Ruth commented. ‘Could it be PTSD?’

‘Hopefully not,’ Felix replied quietly.

‘What’s that?’ Henrietta asked anxiously. ‘Is it like MRSA?’

‘Don’t be stupid,’ Louisa retorted. ‘It’s post-traumatic stress disorder. That’s right, isn’t it, Felix?’

She sidled closer to him and he nodded, fiddling with the spoon in his coffee mug.

‘A few days unwinding with Sula and he’ll be fine,’ Bea said cheerfully. ‘So all’s well that end’s well.’

‘Tell that to the poor sods still stuck out there,’ Felix muttered under his breath. For an instant he caught Anna’s eye and, just as quickly, averted his gaze and got to his
feet, wincing slightly as he eased his hand into a more comfortable position.

‘Roo, we should get going,’ he said.

‘Coming, sir!’ Ruth gave him a mock salute, kissed Bea and followed him to the door, pausing to glance at Anna.

For a moment Felix’s eyes met Anna’s and then just as quickly he looked away and strode across the yard.

‘Oh my God, he is so hot!’ Louisa exclaimed.

‘And available,’ Henrietta added.

‘You’ve got Leo,’ her sister snapped back.

‘If you don’t mind, I must get going,’ Anna murmured. ‘Workshop at the theatre.’

So that’s it
, she thought.
We’ve met and he obviously hasn’t forgiven me. Whatever Louisa does or doesn’t do, Felix and I are over. He can’t stand to be
in the same room as me. I’m still hung up on him after all this time – I should have got over him by now. What kind of idiot was I to ever think I was in with a chance?