Easy (25 page)

“It shows
precedent.”

How many times had
I heard Kennedy use this legal jargon—one of his favorites. “Are you sure a
failed attempt with me shows a pattern? It’s only twice…”

Her eyes flared.
“Jacqueline—”

“You’re right,
you’re right… God, what am I saying?” My hands trembled, sliding over my face,
and Erin pulled them down gently.

“We have to make
sure he doesn’t do this again.”

I nodded, knowing
she was right, and she tapped out a text to Mindi.

Erin had just
unlocked the Volvo when I heard my name and turned to find Kennedy jogging
across the dorm lot. “Hey, Jacqueline. Erin.” When he gave her a tight, serious
smile, she scowled at him. He turned back to me. “We need to talk.”

I glared at him. “About
what? About you helping them talk Mindi out of pressing charges, when you know
what he did to me?”

He huffed a tired
sigh. “It’s not like that—”

“Oh? What’s it
like?”

“Can we speak
privately? Please?”

I glanced at Erin
and she pursed her lips and gave my ex a cynical once-over before turning her
attention back to me. “I’m picking Mindi up, and I’ll meet you at the house?”
She was worried that I’d let him talk me out of this, as ill at ease as I
already was.

I peered at
Kennedy and I knew that convincing me to abandon the allegation against Buck
was his agenda. “You’ll drive me over? Now? That’s the only way this talk is
happening.”

Frustrated and
maybe a little confused by my counter, he agreed. “Sure. I’ll take you over, if
you’ll talk to me on the way.”

I stared across
the top of the sedan at Erin. “I’ll meet you there.”

She nodded, unwavering
hope in her eyes, and I followed Kennedy to his car.

After adjusting
the stereo to backdrop level, he drove slowly, with one wrist draped over the
top of the leather-wrapped steering wheel. “Thanks for agreeing to talk to me.”
He glanced across, his eyes skittering away from mine and back to the road. “I
want you to know that I believe, one hundred percent, everything you told me
Saturday night. I know Buck’s a scumbag—I just didn’t know how much of one.
We’ve started proceedings to expel him.”

“Expel him—from
the frat? Like
that’s
punishment?” Closing my eyes, I shook my head to
clear it.

“Buck came to this
campus thinking he was going to make pledge class president, thinking he’d move
up in the ranks, run the whole frat and maybe the council by senior year, and
now he’s about to be out on his ass, daddy or no daddy. Damn right it’s
punishment.”

I gasped. “Kennedy,
he raped a girl
.”

He had the grace
to flinch. “I understand that, but—”

“There’s no
but!
There’s no fucking
but!
” My chest heaved with the effort to clench
my hands in my lap instead of pummeling his smug face. “He deserves prison
time, and I’m going to do everything I can to see he gets it.” I couldn’t help
thinking that if Kennedy had been sent to keep me from testifying, then this
discussion had produced the reverse effect.

He pulled to a
stop in front of the house and put the car in park. He gripped the wheel with
both hands. “Jacqueline, you need to understand something. Buck’s been talking
shit about hooking up with you for weeks now. Others have corroborated his account.
Everyone knows about it. No one else buys your
he-tried-to-rape-me-too
story, now. It’s kind of late for that.”

My breath left me,
my throat closing up, and pain shot down my arms to my fingertips. Closing my
eyes momentarily, I fought dizziness and the welling of tears, and so much fury I literally
saw red behind my closed lids.

“My…
story
?”

His green eyes met
mine. “I told you, I believe you.” I stared into his eyes, this boy I’d known
so intimately for three years. I could see that he did believe me, but that
belief conflicted with his compulsion to save face. He wasn’t going to do the
right thing.

“You believe me, yet
here you sit, trying to talk me out of persuading anyone
else
to believe
me.”

“Jacqueline, it’s
more complicated than that—”

“The hell it is.”
I threw the door wide open and jumped out. Slamming the door on any further
protest, I turned and stomped up the sidewalk to Erin and Mindi’s sorority
house. I was shaking with anger, and fear, and something else: resolve.

***

There were less than twenty girls
in attendance at the meeting: Erin, Mindi, the sorority officers, and me.

As the president,
Katie presided from the head of the long, polished table. Seated on either side
of her were the senior officers; I recognized Olivia’s older sister as one of
them. She and Olivia could have been twins, they looked so much alike—right
down to the bitchy sneer.

“Mindi, sweetie,
no one’s blaming you here,” she said, her voice dripping with an insincerity
that contradicted her words. “But the thing is, you did go to his room with
him. I mean, the expectation was
there
, you know?”

Erin put her hand
on my thigh when I sucked in a breath—a warning against replying yet. I exhaled
through my nose and fumed silently. I was an outsider. I could be removed
easily, and that would be no good for Mindi. She needed all the support she
could get.

“You weren’t like,
a virgin, either, right?” another girl said.

“God, Taylor,
that’s not material,” another said.

Taylor shrugged.
“It would matter to
me
.”

Mindi’s face was
pale and she looked like she was either going to vomit or pass out. Erin leaned
closer to her and whispered, “Breathe, honey.”

Several people
said more stupid things, and others said more sensible things, and finally it
seemed like everyone had spoken their minds except Katie, Erin, and the two
people who ultimately held Buck’s fate in their hands: Mindi and me. Finally,
Katie banged the gavel lightly, stopping all conversation and turning every
head in her direction. Her posture so perfect that she could have been a queen
wearing a heavy crown, she fixed her eyes on me. “Jackie, I understand that you’re
alleging that Buck attempted to rape you on the night of the Halloween party?”

A couple of girls
mumbled asides and one actually giggled. My hands tightening into fists in my
lap, I ignored them, swallowed and nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay sorry, I
don’t see why she’s even here,” a junior class rep said. “If he didn’t actually
do it—”

“He had every
intention of
doing
it,” Erin said through clenched teeth. “He was just
stopped before he
succeeded
.”

The other girl tossed
her hair over her shoulder. “But she didn’t report it that night. Why not? And
why
now
? I mean, how do we know this isn’t a ploy for attention? Or some
sort of vendetta against Buck?”

Erin growled next
to me.

“He was stopped by
a guy who saw the whole thing and is willing to make an official report with
me.” My voice wavered, and beneath the table, Erin took my right hand and held
it tightly. “As far as why now instead of then… that was my bad judgment. It
didn’t occur to me that he’d do this to someone else.” I glanced at Mindi, an
apology in my eyes, and then Katie. “I thought it was just me.”

“What guy? One of
the brothers? Because dude, they’re
not
going to testify against Buck,”
Taylor said, and several girls nodded.

“No. Lucas
Maxfield.”

“Oh, I know him,” Olivia’s
sister said. “He’s yummy…”

“Is he the non-Greek
guy who was at the Halloween party without a costume? Cowboy boots? Dark hair?
Gorgeous eyes? Total hottie?” the girl next to her asked.

“Yeah, that’s
him.”

“Mindi,” Katie
interrupted, “I understand that Dean and D.J. spoke with you yesterday?”

Mindi nodded, her
still red-rimmed eyes wide. “They want me to drop the charges. They said they
would handle it internally.”

Heads pivoted back
and forth between the sorority president and the freshman pledge as they
volleyed questions and answers. “What are your plans, now?”

“I don’t know. I’m
really confused.”

Katie pinned her
with a look. “Did Buck do what you said he did?”

Mindi’s eyes filled
with tears, and when she nodded, they spilled down her cheeks.

“Then what the
hell is there to be confused about?”

Everyone sat in
stunned silence for a moment, until the girl who’d pronounced Lucas a
total
hottie
exclaimed, “Are you saying she should press charges?”

“Absolutely.”

Gasps sounded
around the table, and I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t move.

“But this will
look so bad for—”

“You know what
looks bad?” Katie cut off her VP. “A bunch of women who don’t support each
other when a guy pulls some shit like this. I’m sick of it. Less than an hour
ago, I told D.J. where he could stick his goddamned
fraternal reputation
.”
She stood up and leaned forward, her hands on the table. “Let me tell you girls
a story, short and sweet. In high school, I was a junior varsity cheerleader
dating a senior who was up for football scholarships. I’d slept with him
several times, willingly. One night I wasn’t in the mood, but he was. So he
held me down and forced me. The few people I told about it—including my best
friend—pointed out what would happen to
him
if I told. They stressed the
fact that I hadn’t been a virgin, that we were dating, that we’d had sex
before. So I kept quiet. I never even told my mother. That boy put bruises on
my body. I was crying and begging him to stop and he didn’t. That’s called
rape
,
ladies.”

She drew herself
up and crossed her arms over her chest. “So Buck can enjoy sitting in a cell
contemplating how he blew up his life. That dickwad hurt two people
sitting
at this table
. And you’re worried about who’ll look bad if they tell? Screw
that. Dean and D.J. and Kennedy and every frat boy on this campus can all go
fuck
themselves. Are we sisters or
not?
”

***

Jacqueline,

I’ve
attached the review that I’ll hand out on Thursday. I guess it’s technically
preferential for me to give it to you a couple of days early, but I did tell
you that you were my favorite, after all.

LM (aka Lucas, aka Landon, aka Mr. Maxfield)

Mr. Landon Lucas Maxfield,

It feels odd to get economics email from you. Like you aren’t really the same
person. (I just remembered how I asked if you needed help in economics. I was
all set to recommend you as a tutor to
yourself
. You must have thought I
was so clueless.)

Thank
you for the review worksheet. I won’t even look at it until Thursday. That way
you don’t need to feel guilty about giving it to me early.

Mindi
and I filed reports at the police station earlier. Erin drove us. It was the
first time I actually gave anyone a detailed account of the whole thing. I was
shaking and crying by the time I was done, and I felt weak and stupid all over
again. Mindi was in even worse shape; the case worker said she may need to be
treated for PTSD. She told us both to go to the school counseling office or a
private therapist for treatment.

Mindi
called her parents on the way back to campus, and they’ll be on a flight here
in the morning. It never even occurred to me to tell mine. I don’t think I
could deal with another I-told-you-so speech from my mother. Not about this.

I
gave the detective your information, and she said they would call you when they
want you to come in. I’m not sure what happens next.

JW (aka Jacqueline, aka J, aka Ms. Wallace, aka Jackie - but will apply
self-defense training as needed if called such)

Ms. Jacqueline (not-Jackie) Wallace,

I never for one moment thought you were clueless. I got caught up in my own
deception, and I felt increasingly rotten about it. I’m glad you found out, and
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself. If anyone was clueless, it was me.

I feel like such a jackass for ever saying anything to make you think that any part
of that night was your fault. I was so amped, and pissed—at him. If you hadn’t
made that sound in the truck, I think I might have killed him.

Did you both file a restraining order?

Lucas

Me:  Can we switch to text?

Lucas:  Sure np

Me:  We got the paperwork to file a temporary RO tomorrow afternoon.

Lucas:  Good. If you feel threatened, I want you to call me. Ok?

Me:  Ok.

Lucas:  Tomorrow is my last class day in econ. Dr. H will be doing a review on Friday.

Me:  Obviously, you don’t need that. I thought you were a bad slacker student. Sitting on the back row,
drawing, not paying any attention to the lecture.

Lucas:  I guess I did look that way. This is my third semester to tutor, and my fourth to sit through the
class. I know the material pretty well.

Me:  So, after Wednesday, we don’t have class together? And after the final next Wednesday, then what?

Several minutes passed, and I knew I’d asked a question he either didn’t know the answer to or didn’t want to answer.

Lucas:  Winter break. There are
things you don’t know about me. I told myself I won’t lie to you again, but I’m
not ready to put everything out there. I don’t know if I can. I’m sorry.

Winter break began
a week from Friday—the last day of fall finals. I was required to leave the
dorm over break, and the spring semester wouldn’t begin for seven weeks. A lot
could change in that space of time.

I fell out of a
tree in sixth grade and broke my arm. I couldn’t play my bass or braid my own
hair for seven weeks. When I was fifteen, my best friend Dahlia went to summer
camp for seven weeks. When she returned, she was best friends with Jillian. I
remained friends with them both, but things were never the same between Dahlia
and me. Seven weeks after fall semester started, Kennedy broke up with me, and
seven weeks later, I realized I was getting over him.