East Rising (Naive Mistakes #2) (16 page)

As I've said before, I'm not sugar-coating
this account. It's how I felt. And I know, as I knew then, that it
was an emotional, illogical reaction. If I'm totally honest with
myself, if I don't try and paint myself in any sort of kind or
friendly light, then I will say what I really felt for her at that
time: I fucking hated the bitch. At least in the beginning I did.
So there.

When we arrived at her room she was sitting
in a corner. Her leathery skin glistened from the tears she'd
obviously been crying. Her dirty-blonde hair was soaking, sticking
to her face. She wore Conall's shirt, still, and had her knees to
her chest.

She shivered.

A man in a suit, looking very proper and
professional and concerned, sat on a couch, clipboard on his knees.
He had round spectacles and a bushy grey mustache. His face showed
instant relief at Conall's entrance.

I suddenly felt superfluous. I shouldn't
have come. But, at the same time, I should have. Because I was
here, baby. I was with Conall now. We were an item.

Alexandra shot up to her feet and said, "Oh,
Conall!" Her voice was desperate, afraid. She rushed to him,
wrapped her hands around his neck, almost knocking him over. Then
she sobbed into his shoulder, the same shoulder my own eyes had
touched as his hand had massaged my erogenous zones.

I felt sick. I moved to the couch and sat
down next to the suited man.

Alexandra moved back, kept her arms around
Conall like some lover, euphoric at seeing him return from the war
or something, like he'd been gone from her side for six months.
Only it had only been a little over six hours...

I
was the one who'd lost him for six month. (Oh yeah, I was on a
roll with the hate.)

"Alex, it's OK. Tell me what happened," said
Conall.

"I don't know." She shook her head. Her back
was to me. Conall's hands were at her sides. I looked away...

"I...it just... It all came back, Conall.
All of it." She buried her head in his chest. "He was there, above
me, and then the needles..." She sobbed.

Christ. I fucking hated myself so much for
being jealous of her... I wanted to leave. I wanted to leave the
two of them alone. I mean, what can you do? The girl was clearly
hurting and... Urgh! Only I couldn't leave. Because I didn't have a
car!

He said, "Alex — um,
Alexandra
— "

Oh great, now she's gonna know I've been all
up in there badmouthing her and telling him he shouldn't call her
Alex or whatever the fuck he wanted to call her!

He continued. "We'll stay here tonight, in
the suite next door, OK? That's why I booked two. Leora and I."

At hearing my name I turned to face them
again. Conall had turned her to me, and nodded to indicate my
presence.

Her eyes locked on mine. Dark, black-rimmed
eyes, covered in tears and another kind of blackness I couldn't
quite place. Not a color, an emotion.

She turned to Conall,
whispered something to him which I didn't quite catch... What
I
did
catch was
her finger caressing his chest as she'd said it.

Fucking. Bitch.

Conall replied. "No, Alex. I told you. Now
that Leora's here, things are different. I told you."

She whispered again.
Damn it!
I felt my body
lean over, trying to hear what was being said. Nothing.

"Alex. No!" he said. I
heard
that
. Boy,
did I hear it. He let her go, firmly. Like he wasn't going to fall
for her games.

Oh, Conall. You are too
good for your own sake.
She'd clearly hoped
for more with him while he'd taken her in and helped her off the
drugs. And I knew her circumstances were the reason we'd been kept
apart, and all the other shit surrounding it. Whatever. I was sick
of it!

Enough talking of the past. I wanted us to
move on. I wanted us to move beyond the blackness which the
underworld of crime had painted on our relationship. I wanted to
see, finally, if this would go somewhere. Just me and him. A girl
and a guy. No outside interference. Was that too much to ask?

Conall walked past me to
the suited man on my right who hadn't yet said a word to me. He'd
merely waited as Alexandra had fawned all over Conall in my
presence.
Yeah, I'm his girlfriend in case
you were wondering.

The man stood up as Conall reached him.
Conall was serious, a constant frown on his brow. Alexandra, on my
left, several feet away, glowered at me. I didn't look directly at
her.

This was
so
uncomfortable...

"Mr. Villiams," said the
suited man.
Villiams?
He shook Conall's hand. Was that accent German?

"Doctor Gehrig."

Gehrig?

"She vanted tranqvilizers, Mr. Villiams. She
begged me for zhem. Zhe room is, vell, it is a mess. Glass on zhe
floor. Zhe mirror is broken." Dr. Gehrig shook his head, moved his
clipboard to his side. I really struggled to catch what he was
saying, until I got that all the W's were V's, and all the TH's
were ZH's. I tried to keep up.

"And?" said Conall.

"Vell, zhere vere no signs zhat her vital
signs vere in trouble, so, no drugs. Zhat is our agreement."

"Good."

"Mr. Villiams..." Dr. Gehrig turned Conall
away from me, then whispered, but I still heard it. "It might be
time to consider what ve spoke about, you know, bringing her to our
facility in Svitzerland?"

"Not yet, Doctor. Not yet. She's made good
progress. She's not sick. She just needs to get used to life in the
city again."

"Vell, maybe she just needs to get used to
life in a tranquil environment. You know I am against drugging
patients unless it is vital to keep zhem alive. I have worked for
your family for many years. You know zhat, even in zhe Schweiz, my
staff would give her no drugs. Just good, private care in an
out-of-zhe-vay place. Peaceful."

Conall shook his head,
rubbed his temple. All this time, Alexandra stood there, arms
crossed, scowling. I couldn't tell if she was in earshot of the
conversation. I wasn't looking straight at her. Although, still,
from the corner of my eye, I could see her glare.
Feel
it... And it was
aimed at me. They could've been talking about cutting her head off
and she wouldn't have noticed!

"I see your point, Doctor," said Conall.
"I...I might have to swallow my pride on this one. And it would be
best for her in the long run, I suppose."

"Exactly, Mr. Villiams."

"Let me think about, Doctor Gehrig. And I
will discuss it with Alexandra. I don't want her to be forced into
doing anything against her will ever again. She'll have the final
say."

Oh great. The doctor's
plans sounded freaking great to me. And, no, that — surprising even
myself — had
not
been a selfish thought on my part! Alexandra was clearly
suffering, burdened by nightmares of what had occurred to her. It
made sense to put her somewhere on a mountain where she could sniff
the morning dew or whatever they have up there in Switzerland. But
Conall's ever-goddamn-chivalric attitude meant he'd give
her
the final say! And
was she in a place where she could make a sound
decision?

I felt her stare on my skin like dirty
hands. I shifted in my seat.

She was clinging, holding onto the top of
the cliff with two fingers... Conall was her rock. I knew that
feeling. And a despicably wrenching feeling came through me as I'd
thought that.

I couldn't take that away from her. I
couldn't. Because I knew how stabilizing he could be.

Damn it!
I hated it when my good side came out.

Conall and the doctor stopped talking.

"Doctor Gehrig, may I introduce Leora to
you."

"Ah, zhe famous Leora! It is a pleasure to
meet you!" He shook my hand.

"Doctor Gehrig has been with the family many
years — "

"Many
decades
Mr. Villiams! I knew you vhen
you vere just a little — "

"Yes, yes, Doctor." Conall blushed. "Thank
you." He turned to me again. "Anyway, he is part of the family. And
so he was one of the few people I told about you."

A glint sparkled across Doctor Gehrig's old
bluey-grey eyes. They tightened up as he gave me a warm smile.
"Vell, I should get going. Ms Leora, I vish you all zhe best with
zhis animal here!" He poked Conall on the chest like some child on
a playground. "Mr. Villiams," he said as he walked out.

The chat had left me with a fuzzy warm
feeling. So fuzzy and warm that I'd forgotten Alexandra behind me.
But not for long...

"I need you to stay
here
tonight," she said
to Conall after Doctor Gehrig had left.

I turned to face her. She was trembling. A
dying soul fighting for the last of the things in her life that
made living it still worthwhile...

"No, Alex, I told you things would change.
You knew this all along." I was in the middle of the two of them
now! (The metaphorical context of this was not lost on me, even as
I stood there.) I stepped slightly out the way.

Alexandra turned her face to the window.
"You loved me once..." she said.

Huh!? Whoa!
Awkward!

I stepped further out the way so I could see
both of them.

Damn it, what a predicament.

"Alex — " Conall started saying, but I
stopped him.

"Conall, it's fine. Alexandra needs
you."

"No, Leo — "

"Conall, please, it
really
is
fine.
And I
want
you to
stay here. She needs you. It's fine..." Damn, brother! And I really
meant that shit!

I looked over at Alex. In
my mind, in that instant, something had changed. And she'd become
"Alex" to me, not Alex
andra
. She looked briefly soothed. My
goodness, the raging fires that must be burning behind her eyes...
Darn it. Now I
really
hated myself for what I'd been thinking before.

Was it Conall she wanted?
Or just...company?
Loving
company... Did she want to be held? Caressed? Told
everything would be OK?

"Th — thank you," she said to me.

Conall's lips tensed. His eyes flicked
between me and Alex. He exhaled, shook his head. What was wrong
here? His hands clenched in and out of fists.

Boy, what a temper. I remembered the last
time I'd seen that temper, and the blood on his fists, and him
telling me he'd broken his brother's nose. And how he totally
annihilated Raphael with those same fists...

"Baby?" I said. "Everything OK?"

I could see World War II raging in his mind.
He gave a tight nod. "I'll sleep on the couch, Alex. And in the
morning I need to take Leo to work in Seaford. You'll have to make
it on your own tomorrow. Can you handle that?"

Leo
? Oooh, that was nice...

Alex turned to the window, said nothing.

"Alex,
can
you handle that?"

She shook her head, shrugged. She went over
to the decanter ahead of her. "You know, I wish you'd stop doing
that!" he cried out at her.

"It's all I have left." She poured a drink
into a crystal glass, downed it.

These two sounded like a regular old married
couple!

She put the decanter down.

Conall stood like a statue, tensed, his
hands now permanently clenched. I moved over to him. Alex was
looking away, staring out into London. I put my hand on his bicep.
It was also tensed. I rubbed his other arm, moved my hand down to
his fist, shook it a little until it loosened. His fingers laced
into mine. I felt Alex's mind on us, even though she wasn't looking
at us directly.

I whispered into his ear. "Leave us alone
for a bit, just me and her."

He shot back. "No — !"

I put my finger on his lips. Fury howled in
his eyes.

What had
he
gone through in the
last six months? What had he put up with? How many advances had he
resisted?

And what guilt did he bear, knowing all this
was, according to him, "his fault"?

"I'll call you," I said. "We have a room
next door?"

He nodded.

He started to walk out. He started talking:
"Alex — "

I stopped him with my hand, shook my head.
"I'll take care of it," I whispered, quietly enough so she wouldn't
hear me.

He walked to the door, opened it.

It was me and her now, showdown
positions.

Conall looked over at me one more time, then
at her. The door clicked shut.

And that's when she collapsed.

Her knees fell to the ground. The glass
poured whiskey on the carpet. The side table fell over. And she
began to wail — a slow, keening, lamenting moan that dripped of
horrors and murder and terror and ugly black pain that festered and
congealed, pooling, leaving scars so wide and large that nothing
could hide them.

In a breath, I was at her side. She held
onto me, cried into my dress and left it soaking wet. We rocked,
there, on the carpet, as she cried away her pains into my breast,
clutching at my clothes.

"
I'll
stay with you tonight," I
suddenly said, understanding, for the first time, what this was
about. "
I'll
stay
with you, OK? I'll sleep in your bed if you want. Then we'll spend
the day together tomorrow. And the next day if you want.
Deal?"