Earthfall (Homecoming) (3 page)

“Whatever it is you’re plotting, Lutya,” said Hushidh, “don’t do it. It isn’t worth it.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“True, but
you
know. And I’m telling you, it isn’t worth cutting yourself off from the rest of us. It isn’t worth cutting yourself off from
me
.”

Luet looked stricken, and this, at least, was no sham. Unless everything was a sham and always had been. Hushidh couldn’t bear to believe
that
.

“Shuya,” said Luet, “have you seen that? Is it true? I didn’t know, but maybe it’s true, maybe I’ve already cut myself off from—oh, Shuya.” Luet flung her arms around Hushidh.

Reluctantly—but why am I reluctant, she wondered—Hushidh returned the embrace.

“I won’t,” said Luet. “I won’t do
anything
that would cut me off from you. I can’t believe that I—can’t you do something about it?”

“Do something?” asked Hushidh.

“You know, the way you did to Rashgallivak’s men when he came to Aunt Rasa’s door that time, meaning to carry her daughters away. You tore his men’s loyalty from him and brought him down, just like that. Don’t you remember?”

Hushidh remembered, all right. But that had been easy, for she could see that the ties between Rash and his men were very weak, and it took only a few well-placed words and a bit of attitude to fill them with contempt for him and cause them to abandon him on the spot. “It’s not the same,” said Hushidh. “I can’t
make
people do things. I could strip Rash’s men of their loyalty because they didn’t really want to follow him anyway. I can’t rebuild your ties to the rest of us. That’s something you have to do yourself.”

“But I want to,” said Luet.

“What’s going on?” asked Hushidh. “Just explain it to me.”

“I can’t,” said Luet.

“Why not?”

“Because nothing
is
going on.”

“But something’s
going
to go on, is that it?”

“No!” said Luet, and now she sounded angry, adamant. “It will
not
happen. And therefore there’s nothing to discuss.” With that, Luet fled up the ladderway leading to the center of the ship, where the meal was waiting, where the others were gathering.

It’s the Oversoul, Hushidh knew then. The Oversoul has told Luet to do something that she doesn’t want to do. And if she does it, it will cut her off from all the rest of us. From everybody except her husband and children. What is it? What is the Oversoul up to?

And whatever it was, why hadn’t the Oversoul included Hushidh in it?

For the first time, Hushidh found herself thinking of the Oversoul as an enemy. For the first time, Hushidh discovered that she herself did not have any strong ties of loyalty to the Oversoul. Just like that, mere suspicion had dissolved them. What are you doing to me and my sister, Holy One? Whatever it is, cut it out.

But no answer came to her. Just silence.

The Oversoul has chosen Luet to do something, and she has
not
chosen me. What is it? I have to know. Because if it’s something terrible, I’m going to put a stop to it.

Luet did not like the building they lived in these days. Hard surfaces everywhere, smooth and unalive. She missed the wooden house they had lived in for eight years in their little village of Dostatok, before her husband found and opened the ancient starport of Vusadka. And before that, all her memories were of living in Rasa’s house in Basilica. City of women, city of grace; she yearned sometimes for the mists of the hidden and holy lake, for the noise of the crowded markets, for the endless rows of buildings elbowing their way out over the street. But this place—had the builders ever thought of it as beautiful? Had they liked to live in such dead places?

Yet it
was
home, all the same, because here was where her children gathered to sleep, to eat; where Nafai finally came home so late at night, to curl up wearily beside her on their bed. And when the time came to enter the starship they had named
Basilica
, she would no doubt miss this place also, the memories of frenzied work and excited children and groundless fears.
If
the fears turned out to be groundless.

Returning to Earth—what did that mean, when no human had been there for millions of years? And those dreams that kept coming into their minds, dreams of giant rats that seemed to be filled with a malevolent intelligence, dreams of batlike creatures who seemed to be allies but were still ugly beyond belief. Even the Oversoul did not know what those dreams meant, or why the Keeper of Earth might have sent them. Still, the overall impression Luet got from everyone’s dreams of Earth was that it was not going to be a paradise when they got there.

What really frightened her, though—and, she suspected, frightened everyone else, too—was the voyage itself. A hundred years asleep? And supposedly they would emerge without having aged a day? It seemed like something out of a myth, like the poor girl who pricked her finger on a mouse’s tooth and fell asleep, only to find that when she woke up, all the rich and beautiful girls were fat old ladies, while she remained the most youthful and beautiful of all. But still poor. That was an odd ending to that story, Luet always thought, that she was still poor. Surely there ought to be some version of it in which the king chose her because of her beauty instead of marrying the richest woman to get his hands on her estate. But that had nothing to do with what she was worrying about right now. Why had her mind wandered so far afield? Oh, yes. Because she was thinking about the voyage. About lying down on the ship and letting the life support system poke needles into her and freeze her for the voyage. How did they know that they wouldn’t simply die?

Well, they could have died a thousand times since things first started falling apart in Basilica. Instead they had lived this long, and the Oversoul had led them to this place, and so far things were working out reasonably well. They had their children. They had prospered. No one had died or even been seriously injured. Ever since Nafai had got the starmaster’s cloak from the Oversoul, even Elemak and Mebbekew, his hate-filled older brothers, had been relatively cooperative—and it was well-known that they
hated
the idea of voyaging back to Earth.

So why was the Oversoul so grimly determined to ruin everything?

Here in this place where the Oversoul actually lived, Luet heard the voice of the Oversoul far more easily than she ever had back in Basilica.

“The starmaster’s cloak will protect Nafai,” Luet murmured. “And he will protect us.”

will
come—on the one side there will be Elemak and his four sons, Mebbekew and his son, Obring and his two sons, Vas and his son. Four strong adult males, eight boys. And on your side, who? Your husband, of course. But who are his allies? His father, Volemak?>

“Old,” murmured Luet.

“Even if he stood with Nafai, he isn’t much.”

not
strong and
not
brutal.>

“Only if Nafai fails to hold everyone together.”

know
this. And so you
will
persuade him to do as I have shown you….>

“
You
persuade him.”

“That’s because he knows that your plan would be a disaster. It would cause the very thing that you claim to be trying to prevent.”

“Resentment! Oh, just a little. We reach Earth and all the adults are wakened from suspended animation, only to discover—oops!—Nafai and Luet somehow neglected to go into suspended animation themselves, and—oops again!—they somehow got a dozen of the older children to stay awake with them for the whole ten years of the voyage! So you see, my dear sister Shuya, when you went to bed your daughter Dza was only eight years old, but now she’s eighteen, and married to Padarok, who, by the way, is seventeen now—sorry about that, Shedemei and Zdorab, we knew you wouldn’t mind if we raised your only son for you. And while we had these children up, we happened to spend the whole time teaching them, so that now they are experts on everything they’ll need to know to build our colony. They’re also large and strong enough to do adult work. But—oops again!—none of
your
children, Eiadh and Kokor and Sevet and Dol, none of
yours
has had
any
of this training.
Yours
are still little children who won’t be much help at all.”

“They’ll be furious,” said Luet. “They’ll all hate us—Volemak and Rasa and Issib and Shuya and Shedemei and Zdorab because we stole their oldest children from them, and all the others because we
didn’t
give the same advantage to
their
children.”

“They’ll always be sure that the only reason the community broke apart was because Nafai and I did such a terrible thing. They’ll hate us and blame us and they will certainly never
trust
us again.”

“And they’ll say that you’re just a computer and of course you didn’t understand how humans would feel, but
we
understood, and
we
should have refused to do it.”

“I already refused. I refuse again now.”

“No!” cried Luet.

“Mother?” It was Chveya’s voice, through the door of Luet’s room.

“What is it, Veya?”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Myself, in a dream. All foolishness. Go back to sleep.”

“Is Father home yet?”

“Still in the ship with Issib.”

“Mother?”

“Go to sleep now, Chveya. I mean it.”

She heard the scuffing sound of Chveya’s sandals on the floor. What had Chveya heard? How long had she been listening at the door?

Why didn’t you warn me?

Because when I speak out loud my thoughts are clearer, that’s why. What’s your plan, to get Chveya to carry out your plot?

Why couldn’t you just talk to him yourself?

That’s because he’s a very wise man. That’s why I love him.

You leave my children alone.

“And to think I once thought of you as…as a
god
.”

“If I didn’t know you were a computer program, I’d say you were a meddlesome, loathsome old bitch.”

“Yes, your view is so long that you hardly notice how you ruin the lives of little mayflies like us.”

“Let’s just say that it hasn’t gone as expected.”

“Shut up and leave me alone.”

Luet threw herself back down on the bed and tried to sleep. But she kept remembering: Hushidh saw that I am no longer connected to the others in the community. That means that somewhere in my heart I already have the unconscious intention of doing what the Oversoul has planned. So I might as well give up and do it consciously.

Do it and then spend the rest of my life knowing that my sister and Aunt Rasa and dear Shedemei all hate me and that I absolutely, completely deserve their hatred.