Dynasty: The Glorious Strategist (Dynasty Saga Book 3) (22 page)

“They already do,” Lymee grumbled. “How did you manage to get here so fast in the first place? I thought you were still hanging around Gon Dynasty.”

“I am,” she assured the pipe still in her mouth. “I am merely projecting myself to you through Kitsune,” she gestured with her pipe at the fox in Lymee’s arms. “Anyone watching will merely think you are a mad woman talking to herself.”

“Maybe I am mad,” Lymee said softly. “I feel like I’m going mad.”

“Who is to say who is mad or not?” the Sorceress shrugged. “But then are you really mad if you know that you are mad?”

“Madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result,” Lymee said more as a reflex than anything else.

“Well then,” the Sorceress placed her hand on the side of her face as she thought that over for a second. “I fear we are all a bit mad then,” she grinned giving a chuckle.

But Lymee was in no mood to banter. “If you can’t bring them back then can you take away my pain?” Lymee asked placing a hand over her chest. The tightening sensation had not gone away. If anything it had been getting steadily worse.

“I could,” she nodded. “There are several ways I could do that. First I could take the memories you have of them.”

“I don’t want that,” Lymee whispered hanging her head.

“Then I could strip out the love and affection you had for them,” she offered. “With that gone you would no longer be grieved by their loss.”

“I think that might be even worse than forgetting about them,” Lymee stated.

The Sorceress let out a long sigh closing her eyes and leaning her head back. “I think many people see grief as a bad thing. But ultimately is grief not a wonderful thing?”

Lymee looked up at the woman trying to figure out how in the world she could ever come to such a conclusion. She felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest. Though Lymee thought she might have preferred that. Maybe if her heart had actually been ripped out then it would not hurt so much.

“Doesn’t sorrow over someone’s loss simply prove that you cared?” the Sorceress smiled her voice gentle. “If you did not feel such pain over their loss, would that not make you some kind of monster?”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I hate it,” Lymee said looking down at the floor.

“But as life without death is meaningless, happiness without sadness is just as meaningless,” the Sorceress stated. She reached out a hand stroking Lymee’s cheek again. Using her hand she forced Lymee to look her in the eye. “I truly am jealous of them,” the Sorceress whispered her thumb stroking Lymee’s cheek. “I hope that when my time inevitably comes there will be at least one person who will mourn my passing half as much as you are morning theirs.”

“Well I still disagree,” Lymee said stepping back from the woman. “If feeling this is all part of love, then maybe it’s better to just never love at all.”    

“You would not be the first to reach such a conclusion,” she whispered the look of regret flashing across her face again. “And I doubt you will be the last.”

***

Lymee felt her throat burn as she downed another gulp of rice wine from the large jug that was tied around her hand. The Sake had been easy enough to find. Alcohol was practically pouring out of the fountains at this point. In the back of her mind she knew that she should be making sure that no funny business was going on in the city and that the soldiers were conducting themselves appropriately but she really could not bring herself to care in that moment.

If the men wanted to cut loose and go wild who was she to stop them?

“Oh wait,” Lymee mumbled. “I’m the firkin Empress apparently.” Lymee raised the jug once more feeling the burning sensation as it ran down her throat. She had started to feel the effects of the alcohol long ago but that had not slowed her pace down any.    

“You thinking about simply ending it all?” Keo asked moving in behind the wooden railing that circled the roof of the Palace.

Lymee was sitting on the railing letting her feet dangle off the edge as she drowned her sorrows in drink. Keo stood beside Lymee resting her arms on the railing as she peered at out at the city lights that glimmered in the darkness of the night.

“There’s a stopper along the edges of the roof,” Lymee stated pointed to the dip in the roof with the hand that was holding the jug. “If I tried to jump off here I would just slowly slide to a very disappointing stop.” Lymee tipped her head back as she downed another gulp. “Hey, do you curve your roofs because spirits can only go in a straight line?”

“No,” Keo frowned slightly. “It is to help funnel the water so it can be better collected when it rains. A spirit can only inhabit a body as such they can go in any direction a body can go.”

“Shame,” Lymee said. “You are missing out on some really cool architecture then.” Lymee casually downed another gulp.

“You seem to be going through that mighty fast,” Keo pointed out.

“They tell me I will find answers at the bottom of this,” Lymee held out the jug so Keo could look at it. “So I figured I should get to the bottom of this as fast as possible and see for myself. Ha, get to the bottom of this,” she laughed at her choice of words.

“And how is that working out for you?” Keo asked.

“Not so well,” Lymee said examining the jug she was holding. “It turns out that alcohol,” Lymee looked over a Keo, “is a depressant. However,” she shot up raising the jug up toasting the sky. “They say the trick is to drink past that.” Lymee tipped her head back and took another swig, her throat burning from the sensation.

“
They
seem to say a lot,” Keo stated.

“They do,” Lymee agreed. Taking a slight breath, Lymee looked out at the city lights of the city below her. The night was still dark probably around three or four in the morning but lacking any kind of clock Lymee wondered how anyone could ever know. There was still a lot of activity as the armies continued to move about hunting down any lingering resistance. At least that is what they were supposed to be doing.

“Don’t you have administrative work that you should be doing or something?” Lymee asked.

“With Alia dead I am nothing more than a common servant now,” Keo stated. “As I am no longer a personal attendant to a lord and I have, as of yet, not been given a new assignment. I am, for maybe the first time in my life, without anything to do,” she chuckled.

“Well consider your rank, and titles, and whatever restored and blah blah,” Lymee stated taking another swig then used the back of her sleeve to wipe her mouth. “That is of course assuming you want to serve me. I know I wouldn’t want to serve someone I hated,” she mumbled.

Keo leaned back, a frown on her face. “I do not hate you, my lord,” she assured.

“Why not?” Lymee sneered. “God knows I hate myself. Running away from Alia like I did when she needed me the most. How horrible of a person am I?”

Keo let out a breath as she returned to leaning against the railing. “I wanted to hate you,” she confessed. “I tried to even. But in the end I realized I was only jealous of you.”

“Of me?” Lymee snorted. “Why in the world would you be jealous of me?”

“Because you were able to do what I was too scared to do,” Keo said. “Every day at the Palace I wished to leave. And every day I would hate myself for thinking such things. Then I would wish that I was you, back when you were on your adventures and then after when you were in Hu Province. And the more I thought that, the more I came to hate myself for thinking it. I thought that if I could hate you instead then maybe it would make me somehow feel better.”

“Funny,” Lymee snorted. “The entire time I wished I could trade places with you. You always seemed so put together and the way that Alia relied on you made you seem somehow better than the rest of us. More important than the rest of us. Maybe even more loved.”

“And I thought that I was utterly useless the entire time,” Keo whispered rubbing her thumbs together as she talked. “Nothing I did seemed to make a difference. I felt that I could only stand there and watch.”

A silence fell over them then. There was a loud crash from the city below but neither of them seemed all that interested in what was happening.

“You know I was doing the math,” Lymee said looking down at her lap twirling her finger beside her head showing her mind spinning. “I was with Alia for about two months before I went off on my adventuring.” She held out a finger counting it out. “Then I was with her for the week I came back for my birthday. Then about half a week when I got back and another half a week before we set out here. So I knew Alia for a total of nine weeks. That is,” Lymee blinked as she had to force herself to do the simple math. “Sixty three days. I knew her for a total of sixty three days.”

Lymee noticed that Keo’s shoulders were shaking her chin buried in her chest. It took Lymee a moment to realize that she was laughing.

“But what a sixty three days they were,” Keo said throwing her head back revealing the large smile on her face. “You can never say that they were boring.”

“In those sixty three days I fell in love,” Lymee nodded as she recalled all her experiences with Alia. “Fell out of love, then fell back in love again. I wept. I laughed. I nearly died.” She held up two fingers. “Twice. I realized that in the time it took for us to march here I have now known you and Sai longer than…” Lymee’s words died as she thought about Sai.

Then it seemed to finally sink in. Both Sai and Alia were dead and she would never see either of them ever again. She would never hear Alia call her Lynn. It was funny she once could care less for her middle name but now she cherished it so much.

Lymee tried her best to hold back the tears, her shoulders shaking from the effort as she hung her head.

“You mind if I have some?” Keo asked looking at the jug in Lymee’s hand.

“Sure” Lymee held out the jug with such force the Sake splashed out.

“Thank you,” Keo said taking the jug and unwrapping the string around Lymee’s hand. Raising it to her lips she took a very long drink before lowering it again. Keo twitched as the alcohol burned her throat causing her entire body to convulse. Wiping her mouth with her sleeve she handed the jug back to Lymee who also took a drink.

“Do you not have a song for this situation?” Keo asked. “Like you did last time.”

“Can’t think of anything,” Lymee shook her head. She thought for a long time about a song before she started humming the first song she could think of. “Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream.”

“Sounds catchy,” Keo said. “What’s it about.”

“It’s about rowing a boat,” Lymee stated. “Down a stream,” Lymee laughed as she took another drink from her jug. She was really starting to feel the effects of the Sake now. She was sure that she was quite drunk.

As she brought the jug down she started singing the next song that popped into her head. “What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor?” Lymee laughed losing her balance kicking her feet out as she leaned back. Keo quickly put a hand on Lymee’s back to steady her. “Thank you Keo,” Lymee giggled leaning forward again.

“Any time, my lord,” Keo promised.

Lymee narrowed her eyes as she looked the woman over. “You know,” Lymee said leaning further in. “You are really pretty. How come we’ve never slept together?”

“I believe it was you who turned down my advances,” Keo stated.

“Right,” Lymee leaned back her eyes still narrow as she thought about that time. “Back when I was a prude about such things. But not to worry,” she declared. “I am more than making up for lost time now.” With that she took another drink.

“Is that an offer?” Keo asked raising an eyebrow.

“Nah,” Lymee said. “It’s weird but I really don’t want to have sex with you. Not that you aren’t pretty,” Lymee assured making sure she did not offend. “’Cause you are. It’s just like I have never thought of you as a woman.” Lymee looked down at Keo’s ample chest. “Not to say you are not a woman,” Lymee smiled enjoying the view. “But it’s more like I think of you more like family.”

“You thought of Alia as family did you not?” Keo stated.

“Incest for the win,” Lymee cheered raising her fist in the air. “Or as I like to call it. Wincest,” Lymee’s laughter died. “It’s funnier in my language. The spelling and the words combined,” Lymee moved her hands in front of her like she was arranging the words in the air. Then she let out a sigh she slouched her shoulders absently kicking her feet. “I don’t want to become the Empress,” she stated suddenly her voice low and dark.

“I know you don’t,” Keo nodded returning to her position against the guard rail looking out over the city. “But I think that is one of the reasons why you would make a fine ruler.”

“People always say that,” Lymee sneered as she took a swig from her jug. “What sense does that even make? Let someone who wants to do the job do the job.”

Keo looked like she was about to say something but then stopped. Closing her mouth she looked back out into the city. “You know there was a time when Alia didn’t want to become head of the Su Family either.”

“Really?” Lymee found that hard believe. “But she was so good at it. Why would she not want to rule?”

“She was convinced that she would be terrible at ruling,” Keo said. “She didn’t want all the responsibility that ruling entailed fearing that she would make a mistake and cost people their lives. Instead she wanted to run away and live out her life with the woman that she loved.”