Durability (The LockDown Series Book 3) (35 page)

“That’s okay mum, you make everything better for me too. I love you.”

“And I you, baby. So much.” I close my eyes and allow my exhaustion to take over me.

“Sleep well, mummy, I’ll look after you,” I hear Joe whisper as I drift off.

I awake, the smell of smoke choking me. I dart up in bed, trying to seek my son.

“JOE!” I scream, jumping from the bed and running through Antonio’s house. “JOSEPH!” I continue, running towards the thick cloud of smoke. The alarm is ringing high-pitched, deafening me.

“MUMMY!” I hear him calling in the smoke, his coughs and choking sounds, making my stomach twist.

“Where are you?” I call, covering my mouth as I enter the kitchen.

“In here,” he replies and I run into the kitchen and search through the eye-watering cloud to find him. I feel him, shaking by the sink. The fire is heavy and nasty as a pan stays alight in the sink.

I pull him to me, covering his mouth and running from the house. Outside, I remove the cloth and allow us both to breathe in the fresh air. It's light out and the sun is shining but thick smoke and flames escape through the open kitchen window.

“Where is everyone baby? Where is Luke, Maria, Nate and Georgia? Where is your sister?” I panic thinking they’re still inside.

“They’ve gone out. Luke has taken the twins and Maria to the hospital and Georgia has taken Melissa to get some shopping. I was trying to make you breakfast to make you happy. I'm sorry mummy, I tried to make pancakes and they burnt and set alight, I put the pan in the sink and put water on it, because that’s what you do to fire and it blew, the flames got really big. I was so scared mummy. I'm so sorry, I didn’t mean to break uncle Ant’s kitchen.”

The fire department arrive and run into the house, burning rapidly as we speak. “Baby, god it’s ok. I'm sorry. I'm glad you’re safe. Do you feel okay? Don't worry about the kitchen. Your safety is all that matters.” I pull him to me as he shakes violently, tiny tears beginning to fall from his sore eyes. I can tell from the body wracking shakes, that he is scared.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby. Everything is okay. You’re safe, everything is okay.” I stroke his back and allow my tears to fall. The past week has been too much, my heart is aching and breaking.

“Miss, we have put the fire out, but please do not go back inside. Do you have somewhere else to go?” one of the fire-fighters asks me an hour later.

“Yes, I can go home. But I need to call the owner.” The fire-fighter and his team clean up and take a report of what happened.

“Do either of you need medical attention?” he asks me, seeing the paramedics pulling in.

“No, I think we are okay. But he was in the kitchen, so he might have inhaled a lot of smoke,” I say, looking at Joseph. The paramedics are signalled over and take Joseph inside the ambulance to check him over.

“Do you have a phone I could use please?” I ask the man, knowing mine is in inside.

“Yes, of course.” He hands it to me and I dial Leighton’s number.

“Baby?” I tremble into the phone, my lip quivering.

“Hi baby, what’s up? Is everything ok?” Leighton sounds through the phone, a little panic in his voice. It is expected considering the circumstances lately.

“There was a fire. Antonio’s house set alight Leighton,” I tell him, my breaths sharp and short.

“What, how? Where is everyone, are they all ok?” He rushes talking and I can hear people moving and car doors shutting. An ignition starts and an engine roars.

“Joseph, he tried to cook me breakfast on his own to cheer me up but burnt the pancakes and they set alight. Everyone else was out, it was just me and him.” I explain, thankful it hadn’t been worse and that I had woken up when I had.

“Fuck. Is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay baby?” Leighton begs.

“He’s fine, just shaken up and scared. He’s being looked at now as he breathed in a little smoke, but I think he’ll be okay. Where are you? Come home, please.” I plead, my own fright coming to the surface. Tears stream and my lips tremble. “Please, I need you.” I cry, gripping the phone tightly to stop me from dropping it.

“I'm on my way baby. I’ll be ten minutes. Hold tight. Please, make sure Joe’s okay, that you’re okay. Has anyone looked at you?” Leighton questions me.

“He’s okay, Leighton, they are bringing him back over now. I'm fine, I was only in the smoke for a minute or two. I feel fine. Just scared. I'm so relieved he’s okay. I’ll see you soon okay?” I ask him, smiling as Joseph comes to me and cuddles me again.

“Is that daddy?” he asks me and I nod. “Can I talk to him?” he asks and I nod again.

“Joseph wants to talk to you, baby,” I say, turning on loudspeaker and handing the phone to my son.

“Hey dad, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it burn. I just wanted mummy to be happy. I know she loves pancakes.” Joe’s lip quivers as he fears what his father might say.

“Buddy, it’s okay. As long as you and mummy are safe. You’re a good boy and I’m just glad you’re okay. I love you little man. I’ll be home soon. I’ve got some news too okay, so be a good boy and look after mummy for me,” my husband tells our son, his voice sincere and sad.

“Okay, dad. I will. See you soon. I love you,” Joe answers handing me back the phone.

“Hey baby, so what’s this news?” I ask, curious.

“You’ll find out. See you soon, Angel. I love you.” The line goes dead and I turn to my son. We have nowhere to go right now, we can’t go indoors and everything I need is there. I don’t have a car or keys. I have one more phone call to make, just so Maria knows where I am.

“Sorry to ring, babe, I know you’re busy. But, there’s been an accident. There was a fire at Ant’s and I’ve got to go to my house,” I tell her and she gasps and cries.

“Is everyone okay?” she asks me, panicking as well.

“Yes, it was just me and Joe, we are both okay. He tried to cook something and it burnt. Just wanted you to know nobody is allowed inside until it’s been surveyed and fixed. I'm going to wait for Leighton to get here and then we are going to go home. You’re welcome to come over or go to yours,” I tell her.

“Okay, thank you for letting me know. We are just sorting out what we are doing with Bradley and then we will be leaving. The twins are getting restless,” she informs me and I smile sadly to myself. I can't even imagine how hard it is for them at the moment, organising what to do with their brother and lover.

“Okay sweetheart. We will see you soon. You are incredible and strong, remember that hun,” I encourage her, trying to keep her standing tall.

“I'm trying, I’m trying really fucking hard.” She sounds so sad on the phone and I know she is once again crying. I can hear the babies crying in the background and the boys trying to talk about what Bradley would want done with his body.

“I know. I love you sweetheart, I’ll see you soon, okay,” she replies to my endearment and then hangs up. Leighton’s Land Rover pulls in to Ant's driveway as I pass the phone back to the fire-fighter.

“Baby. Are you okay?” Leighton is at my side, checking me over. He strokes my face and hair, checks my arms. Then he moves onto Joseph, checking every inch of him, before grabbing him and holding him tightly to him.

“Where is Mel?” he asks me, worried.

“She is with Auntie Georgia,” Joseph informs his father. “I'm glad you’re here, I was really scared dad.” He smiles sadly at Leighton.

“I know son, it’s okay now. You’re safe.” Leighton kisses Joe’s head and then my lips softly, holding us together as a little group.

Joe wriggles out of Leighton’s hold and runs to Antonio.

“I'm sorry, Uncle Ant. I didn’t mean to burn your house down. You can have all my pocket money, I’ll pay for it all,” Joseph explains.

“Little man, I'm only happy you’re okay. You will not pay for it, I’ll just get mum to teach you how to make pancakes so you don't burn them again and then I want a lifetime supply of them. Deal?” Ant holds his hand out waiting for Joseph to accept the deal.

He contemplates and then agrees, shaking Ant's hand.

“Good, now let’s get you all home and sort things out,” Ant tells Joe and then walks to the car. “I’ll ring Georgia and let her know I'm coming to get her also. Marcus and Scott can catch a cab home,” Ant says, looking directly at the pair. They huff but then saunter off, one of them dialling a taxi company.

“Let’s go, buddy,” Leighton informs our son and we all get into the Land Rover and drive away from the ruins of Antonio’s home.

We have put the children to sleep, all four of them. Maria is cuddled up to her remaining boyfriend, his big arms protecting her. Nate is nowhere to be seen nor is Thomas. Marcus and Scott are sat together looking at something on Marc’s phone. Ant and Georgia are snuggled together as well, Ant’s hand linked with hers, stroking her knuckles gently.

“So, we found some things out yesterday, well early this morning.” I begin to talk, gaining the attention of everyone around.

“Firstly, I want to apologise to you Luke and Maria, I found out something very hard and it explains some things. I have learnt that my father is still alive and it was him who had someone approach Joe and had...” I take a breath, trying to regain composure over saying the next thing. “It was my father who organised for Bradley to be shot. I'm sorry, I feel like this is my fault. I should have made sure he was dead. I swear to you, even Antonio will tell you; he was good as dead when we left him. I really thought I had ended him. I don't know how he is still living or breathing, but I will make sure I do the job properly this time.” I fight with myself to not cry, not needing yet another bunch of tears falling and drying my tear ducts up. They still fall, my guilt and shame overcoming me and drowning me.

“Leighton. God, no,” I hear Maria say as she comes to me and sits with me. Her tiny arms come around me and pull me in. She had been there when I had lost Josie, when I had gone off the rails and lost everything.

“I'm sorry,” I say again, trickles of water falling over my lips.

“Never say that again. This is not on you, don't you dare take the blame because you didn’t kill your father back then. You shouldn’t have had to do that all those years ago let alone take blame for his actions now. I will never blame anyone for Brad’s death other than the person who arranged it and pulled the trigger. He loved you Leigh, you were a brother to him. He would never blame you for this. I promise you, this is not because of you. I love you, hun,” she tells me, laying her head to mine as we cry together for our loss.

I have been there for them. After Nate bringing them up and being the best darn father figure he could be, I offered them the opportunity to be a part of a bigger family, to have faith and friends. “I miss him so much, Maria. I feel lost without him,” I admit, trying to control myself but failing miserably.

“I miss him too, babe. I don't think there will be a day that goes by that I won't. Every time I look at Luke or the twins, I see him. They are his blood, everything he is. But I can't begrudge them or not want them around because the memories hurt, they just serve to remind me of the incredible man he was and how passionately and wonderfully he loved. It’s been a day and I can't come to grips with it, but I have to. I have so much to still live for, he would still
want me to live and love.” W
hy, when she has lost the most in this room, is she the voice of reason and sensibility?

I just nod, agreeing with her words. She is like a profit of God, guiding everyone home to where they belong. I sense she will make it her mission to keep everyone together. “I won't let this beat us, I won't let him beat us, hun. I will fight until my last breath for this family, for all of you. The end of this war will come and we will be victorious. We will do it for Bradley and for Josie.”

“Okay, yes, we will beat them.” I cry out, wiping my own tears away before stroking the ones off of Maria’s face. “I will make us a family again.” I promise her and the rest of the guys in the room.

“Leighton, we were always family and always will be. There is nothing you could do to stop that,” Maria tells me, drying
my cheek softly.