Durability (The LockDown Series Book 3) (29 page)

“As all of you are aware, we all have been through some trying times this past year. All of us have faced trauma in one way or another. A few months ago, Leighton stopped the person causing these issues and we haven’t heard anything since. However, it has become known that the Blackman family have reared their noses and piped in again. My nephew and godson, Joseph was approached at Angelo’s and threatened by one of Phillip's men. He has a bruise from the incident and is frightened. I ask that you tread lightly around him and do not mention that you know.” Antonio keeps eyes with Leighton as he continues.

“Now, I know we have to end this, and for good. I don't particularly want to start a war with the British mob, but I will not allow my family to be hurt anymore by these men. I am prepared to fall for every one of you and will not hesitate to retaliate. I am not sitting back like a fucking coward and I am not allowing those animals to beat us. You are with me or you aren’t. We are fighting back and we are ending this.” Antonio’s passion is clear, I can see how much he loves his family, how much he loves me and my children. He didn’t only experience the emotional torment they presented to us but he bears the physical scars from them. The bullet hole scar still mars his perfect tanned flesh, reminding him and everyone around him, daily, that he survived, barely.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, man?” Leighton chimes in and I can physically feel the rage seething from him. He stands, removing me from his lap and placing me on the sofa.

We all watch, dumbfounded, as he walks from the room, his temper spiking dangerously. I look to Antonio and then to Marcus, wondering what the hell I should do, what the fuck Leighton will do.

“I’ll go.” Marcus speaks, standing up and following in the direction Leighton has left in. I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes. I can’t handle Leighton going back to his old ways, the ways that have directed him away from me for an entire month. I can’t survive and won’t survive without him in my life. I just hope to God that Marcus is able to salvage the rationality and humanity Leighton has left inside of him.

It is almost as though he is punishing the both of us for all of our wrong doings. God is throwing us hell for the pain we have inflicted on others in this world.

Soon, droplets are falling from my eyes, landing on my knees. Sniffles and sorrow filled cries come from me, informing the entire room of my heartbreak. “Baby girl, it’s going to be okay. You know that right? You know that we would never let anyone hurt you?” Thomas is beside me, his strong arms around me, pulling me into him. My head lands into his chest, my tears now staining his white dress-shirt. “Oh come on sweetheart, please stop. I can't bear it when you cry, it breaks my heart,” Tom begs me, wiping away my tears and kissing my forehead. He has always made me feel safe and warm, like a cocoon that will protect me from anything evil. He is always there, when he found me after my nightmares and soothed me; he accompanied me to my therapy sessions and gave me driving lessons. He found me after I was attacked by Phillip and his ruffians and guided me back to sanity after Leighton left me. I don't know where I would be without him, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be the woman or mother I am now.

“Thomas, what am I going to do? Nothing hurts me more, even those men hurting me again, than Leighton leaving my life again or turning back to the way he was when he was gone. I would rather die, be beaten and killed than to lose him or for him to lose himself. We belong as one Thomas and I cannot stand the thought of him losing even one per cent of the man he is, it would obliterate me entirely.

“He is my world, he is the reason I breathe and live now, he saved me, more than once, I cannot allow him to die inside. It murders my soul and rapes my heart to know he is hurting and I can't be the one to help him, that he now relies on Marcus to fix him. It was my job, it was always my job to heal him but I cannot help him in this circumstance. I can't be the woman he needs when this happens and I wish I could. But, I will help this cause, if it’s the last thing I do on this earth, I will stop them. I will kill every single bastard that comes near my family, I can assure you of that and I will fucking enjoy every second of it.” I exhale harshly after revealing my inner thoughts. It is disgusting that my mind is now comfortable with the fact of killing someone, but I will die and kill for my husband and children and for my extended family. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do to ensure their safety and wellbeing.

There is no way Leighton is keeping me from this. He will agree to my help and will allow me to join them, regardless of any facts. I will do as my heart desires and fix this problem. I will not allow my son to forever be afraid.

Bring it on.

My blood is boiling, literally. I can feel the heat emanating from within me and scorching my system. I can’t contain the anger that is manifesting or the demon inside of me begging to be released. I will have to allow him out now, let him take over as I eradicate this situation once and for all.

I will face the biggest challenge, after I have killed every last motherfucker that has hurt my family. It will take every ounce of strength I have remaining to reel it back in and lock him away in the protective cage Marcus has helped me build. “You okay, mate?” I turn from where I am stood, my face to the blackened night of my garden, the twinkling stars and glowing moon my only guidance right now.

I scoff my answer, shaking my head to try to stop myself from snapping. There is no way, in any world that I am okay. I have just found out that not only are the men that are responsible for nearly killing my wife, child and my best friend, are still alive and well, but they have threatened and hurt my son. MY FUCKING SON. That bruise, that hideous blue mark covering a large part of his back, is from their hands. They have laid their hands on my son, I can assure every bastard in this world it is the last thing they are ever going to do.

“Okay, maybe that wasn’t a sensible question; of course you’re not okay. Let’s try another one. When do we start?” He changes his question and this time it suits me fine. A smile forms on my lips, as malicious as it is, it feels natural.

“Tomorrow. Tonight I need to be with Abbi. Tomorrow, the second I wake, I will be planning the beginning of the end. There will not be a member of that group alive. Anybody involved will be killed. I will not risk them rearing their ugly heads again.” I laugh a little as I think about the past two years and how much my life has changed, how many ups and downs I have faced alone and with Abigail.

“Mate, this is gonna be hard, but I have faith you will remain strong and not indulge too much.” Marcus lectures me, tapping me on the shoulder and clasps it lightly. “I am positive you wouldn’t want to experience my handy work again, so just remember that when you’re in the battlefield. Of course I will be beside you every step of the way, but please allow Abigail to be there for you too. She needs to feel loved and needed and not that you have to seek my help at every turn. She is your wife and I want you to include her.”

“Not happening, there is no way she is coming and helping me, I will not risk her life in such a way Marcus,” I inform him, turning to face him as he stands nonchalantly in my doorway, staring into the night.

“I did not say she had to follow you, Leighton, but she needs to know you need her and rely on her. Whether she is beside you physically or emotionally, she needs to help you through this for yours and her piece of mind. You have to remember she went through hell with these men and she needs her closure, to know that she put an end to it herself. She has sacrificed so much to get away from this nightmare so she needs to know personally, that it is indeed over.” I hate the fact he is so bloody smart, it makes me resentful of him for being so knowledgeable and expressive. He is right, of course, she definitely needs to be in on this, whether it is simply planning with me or joining me hand in hand to fight. She knows how to use a gun,
brilliantly, I don't
doubt her on hitting her target, but I do feel she hasn’t got the strength to physically take a life, to have that blood on her hands.

Me? I can see and smell the blood already and it makes my cock hard, but my beautiful innocent wife can’t possibly handle the kind of pressure it puts on you.

“I know you will be, Marcus. I thank you for all you have done for me and for Abigail. I wouldn’t be who I am now without you,” I inform him, turning back around to glare into the night. It is peaceful, just the small sounds of crickets and the few buzzes of night flies around us.

“No, Leighton, you wouldn’t be who you are without Abigail. It was you that told me before you met her you were a lost cause, an empty shell with no reason for life. She is the one who gave you a life again, gave you love and hope. I simply reminded you of what you had. Remember her, remember everything she has done for you.”

“I know, I do. It is her who I do this for, it is Abigail I will be thinking of every step of the way through this war. I will slay anything in my way to ensure that she will be safe. I will die myself; allow the blood to drain from my dying corpse before she is harmed.” I breathe out, my breath mixing with the warm summer air. August is near an end but the heat is still sky high, the evenings attracting the mosquitoes and animals to appear from their wooded shelter to hunt for their prey.

A little like me, they stalk their meal, pouncing when least expected, slaughtering and ripping apart the enemy. I will be meticulous and methodical in my attack, they will never see me coming, I will pounce when least expected, killing them where they sleep.

“Well, I expect you are going to now walk back inside, claim your woman and show her just how much you love and appreciate her, because right now I’m sure she is crying herself stupid at what she thinks your head is thinking. She will be over analysing everything and assuming you don't need her. Go and remind her of what she has given you and how much you need her,” Marcus orders me and I laugh at his ability to still dominate me without his whip or cane.

“You’re a sadistic bastard, you know that right?” I ask him, stroking my hand through my growing stubble. A beard will be present soon if I don’t drag the clippers out from their spot under the sink.

“Yup, and you fucking love it. But shhh, I won't ever tell anyone.” He laughs at me, punching my bicep in a friendly gesture.

“The only person I would be bothered to know, I have told myself. She has been nothing but supportive and knowing that she still thinks the same of me makes me realise how much she truly cares for me,” I explain, rubbing away the slight pain in my arm as Marcus turns and walks further into my garden.

“Good night Leighton. Sleep well. I shall see you in the morning.”

“Yeah, night,” I reply, turning and walking back into my house.

Arriving in my lounge and seeing my wife curled up in Thomas’ lap breaks my heart. I can hear her cries and see her shaking body from the entrance and it makes me feel lousy knowing I caused that hurt. I vow to never hurt her again but it seems I can’t prevent it.

“Baby?” I ask, approaching her. I place my hands under her legs and back to lift her. I need to know what she is thinking so I can fix it.

I nod to Tom, thanking him for comforting her and let him know we are going to bed.

“I can't do this, Leighton; I can't be the person you don't need any more. I need you to need me, to want me. Is it something I’ve done, do I not attract you or please you anymore? Tell me, please, I’ll do anything to fix this, for you to want to come to me.” She sobs into me, her tiny frame shaking and shivering with her emotional turmoil. I have to put a stop to her thoughts this instant, I can’t have her thinking I don’t want or need her. She is the air I breathe and the blood that pumps around my body. My entire day is spent thinking of her, dreaming of her and our future.

I turn with her in my arms, finding the closest wall to push her against. It happens to be just outside my lounge, in the hallway.

Her back crashes against the plaster, her body sounding a thump as it connects. “Don't you ever say that again, Abigail. I'm warning you this very second if I hear you say that once more I will spank your arse so fucking hard you will never sit down. You, Abigail Lock, are the most incredible specimen I have ever met. I love you with everything I am Angel and that will never change. Sure, you aren’t exactly as you were when we met, but you are better, you are my wife and the mother to our beautiful children. You drive me wild, your body is sexy and your heart even more so.

There isn’t a thing I don't love about you or that I don't constantly dream about. These are my problems, not yours. I walked away because I didn’t want to disappoint you, I didn’t want you to see me weak, but fuck it, I am weak. I'm weak for you. I would fall to my knees now and beg for your forgiveness, for you to understand how much I love and appreciate you. I need you, baby, I need you like I need my next breath and the blood flowing around my body. I need you like I need my own goddamn heart. Please, know and never forget, there is nothing you could do that would stop me needing, wanting and loving you. You are mine, are we clear?” I stare into her blue eyes, so deep and brooding with her pain and sorrow.