Duplicity 2 (Duplicity New Adult Romance) (6 page)

He reached his hand in his pocket and handed me a USB memory stick.
 

“Just a little sneak preview Holly, of your own little home movie. I’m sure you can imagine how Nick and the rest of Cathwell’s will love seeing this when it goes viral on their network. You’re wild Holly, aren’t you, when you get going?” He licked his lips, looking me up and down.
 

My knees were quaking as I rose from the chair. There was a crack in the air as I slapped his cheek with all my might. My hand stung. He raised his hand to his face and touched the spot where I had struck him.

Without a word, he turned his back on me and walked the two steps across the hall to the medical room door. He opened it and disappeared inside.
 

For the second time tonight, I was left speechless. I sat for a few moments, then ventured over to the door. Looking through the small glass pane, I could see Don, with his arm around his wife, both standing at the foot of Sarah’s bed. I couldn’t see Sarah, because Nick, with his back to me, was leaning over, his face close to hers. He was holding her hand, and seemed to be whispering in her ear.

It pulled my heartstrings to be snooping on such a personal family event, a family that I didn’t belong to and that I was being accused of wrecking.
 

The sight of Nick, huddled over his wife, stayed with me as I walked back the way I’d come, my head held high.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The next night I sat for hours, waiting, until the intercom announced Nick’s arrival. I was expecting him, he’d called ahead. He’d been at the hospital with Sarah all day.

When I undid the chain and opened the door I could see it in his eyes, before he said anything. He took me in his arms and held me like he always did. But this time, I knew it was goodbye.

We stayed like that, so close, so needy, so still, until I could feel his shoulders shake and we both released our tears. I clung to him, and never wanted to let him go. I could feel his pain, salt on the rawness of my own wounds, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him either.
 
We needed to be strong, to help each other, to do the right thing. I’d missed my chance to do right by him before, but now I could redeem myself.

 
I finally prized myself away from Nick’s hold. I met his eyes and plucked up the courage to ask the question whose answer I dreaded. “Sarah?”
 

Nick’s expression was so pained that I couldn’t tell whether the news was good or bad. What was good news anyway? Good news for me was bad news for Sarah. Poor Nick, stuck in the middle.

Nick’s eyes were still wet. He didn’t reply, kissing me with a hard and urgent force. He pulled my robe apart and cupped my breast, with a roughness that I’d never known from him before. His primal desire turned me on more than any foreplay.

I led him by the hand into the bedroom, where he pushed me back onto the bed. Reaching for his trousers I unbuckled the belt. His hands were already pulling down my loose pyjama pants and I helped him slip them off. He grabbed my arms, pinning them down by my sides, and was grinding on top of me.
 

Stopping only long enough to pull his pants and shorts down to his knees, he entered me with a grunt. I was so aroused I held my breath to try and last longer, but I was already close to the edge of no return.
 

My body was possessed with a fiery passion fed by lust, and I abandoned all propriety. We didn’t speak, just fucked like strangers. Experiencing the most uninhibited sex that I’ve ever had, my dream became reality. Except this time I knew the identity of the perpetrator.
 

Just when I was spent and thought there was no more, he took me again, gentler this time, and fed me another orgasm that brought my whole body alive yet filled me with intense sadness.
 

Afterwards, we lay in silence in the darkness. I didn’t push him away, and he didn’t leave.

Repeating the dreaded question, I whispered, “How’s Sarah?”

He held my hand, and in the dark Nick’s confessed his own confusion and fears, putting mine to shame.
 

“The doctors say that Sarah’s showing positive signs. But it doesn’t mean that she’s going to wake up. Or if she does, that she will ever fully recover. The change in her condition could just as easily be her body shutting down. I think she can hear my voice, you know? What if she knows I gave up on her?”
 

I stroked Nick’s arm while told me about his shattered dreams for a future with Sarah.

 
“You asked me about kids. I had promised Sarah on holiday that I would cut back at work and we would start trying for a family.
 
That’s all she wanted, you know?”

Oh yes. I knew.
 

“She complained I worked too much and what was the point of being together if we couldn’t enjoy ourselves? I never knew there wouldn’t be enough time to make it up to her. And after she got sick I just threw myself into work more than ever. And then you came along, Holly, and it was like being given a second chance. But now … ”

Okay, here it comes.

“Stop, Nick, before you say anything else. I wanted to tell you something last night, something that I thought was really important about our future together.”

“What is it, Holly? I cut you off, and I’m sorry, but I overreacted because what you said was true. Yes, I’ve been neglecting you, and yes I’ve been working too much, and no, it hasn’t been fair on you. Not at all. And I feel real bad because I don’t know if I can give you what you need, but I’m here now, and I want to hear what you have to say.”

Tell him now and you’ll hurt him even more.

I tried to make my voice sound as light as possible, even though it was killing me inside.
 

“It doesn’t matter now Nick, because your duty is to your wife, not to me. And whatever happens with Sarah, I will respect your decision. And I’ll be okay, I promise. But for now … I don’t want to say anything to cause you any more guilt or heartache … ” My voice trailed off. The last few words were the hardest. “I don’t want to see you any more.”
 

Nick sat up, and yanked me up by the shoulders. He pulled me right up to his face, so that his nose touched mine. “No more guilt, Holly? It’s too late for that. I’ve been looking for you my whole life, it’s just taken me till now to find you. I thought I knew love until I met you. I will stay with Sarah till her dying day, but you are my true love. How’s that for guilt, eh?”

“Please go, Nick, “ I whispered. “Now.”

Silent tears trickled down my cheeks as I watched him dress in silence, till the sound of his footsteps and slam of the door signalled the point of no return.

***

I looked at the photos again, and picked one up. Me and Tara. I think it was the night she hooked up with Hairy Hal. We had such fun getting ready that night. What a laugh we used to have together. Even though she drove me mad with her mess, pinching my clothes, and not getting her life together.
 

Not everyone’s as perfect as you, Holly.
 

I missed her. And I felt a pain in my chest thinking about how I left things with her. I never went back to the flat after that night. Not because I didn’t want my things, and not because I hated her.
 

There was another wrong I had to right. I had to speak to her, and explain, if she would let me.

I dialled Tara’s cell phone, but she didn’t pick up. So much for that idea. It was still early evening in the UK, she wouldn’t have gone out yet. The message service kicked in and I smiled as I heard Tara’s voice saying, “If this is Alexander, you can fuck right off. Anyone else please leave a message. Ciao.”
 

 
After the beep, I hesitated before speaking. “Hey Tara, it’s Hols. Listen, I feel really bad about what happened. I hope you’re okay. I just … I miss you, that’s all. Bye babe.”

Tara’s text pinged back just as I was heading to the bedroom.

 
Spare me the tears. Skype me in 5
 

I went to find my laptop. No rest for the wicked.

***

I felt a wave of joy as Tara’s face flashed up on the screen when she accepted my online call. Her expression was dour, and I could tell she was still pissed with me.

I didn’t care, I was so pleased to see her.
 

“Hey,” I said, “You’re looking amazing. I love your hair.”
 

It was pink this week. Her foundation was pale as alabaster, with contoured cheeks and shocking pink lips.

“Yeah, thanks,” Tara offered with a shrug. “Sorry, but you look shit babe.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I did a half shrug too. “Um, this is awkward. Look, how are you anyway?”

“Really, Holly? Really? How do you fucking think I am? I’m living out of a plastic bag. My job is shit, I’ve got no clean clothes, and I haven’t had sex since the weekend. Just the usual, really.”
 

Tara gave me a rueful smile, and we both burst out laughing. She held a up glass of wine to the screen. “Chin chin. Cheers, babe. Are you having one?”

“Nah, I’m off the booze. Long story.”

“Ah, right. Boring. Jeez, I can’t believe you ran off squealing and left me, you bitch. How’s lover boy?”

My face crumpled. “I chucked him.”
 

Tara’s mouth fell open, aghast. “Fuck, that was quick. Shit, what are you going to do?”
 

She took a slurp of wine. Before I could answer, she went on, “Well, so what anyway. You can always come back here. I forgive you for being such an asshole about Adam. He’s a tosser anyway.”
 

Tara tweaked a strand of her hair. “Honestly, you have such crap taste in men.”

“Hang on,” I said, flaring up. “I made a big mistake with Adam. I felt really bad about what happened. We were such good mates, and I led him on, yes, I know I did. But I never meant to hurt him. I thought it was all a game for him too. And if it wasn’t for Nick then things may have been different. But I cheated on Nick with Adam and now I can hardly look Nick in the eye. Never mind look at myself in the mirror. And now I’m … up the duff without a paddle with no clue who’s the daddy.”

Tara was shaking her head at me and waving her hands at the screen. “Will you shut up?” she screamed. “What the fuck are you talking about? You think you had sex with Adam? No you bloody well didn’t!” She beamed me a triumphant smile.

“Um, how would you know?” I pointed out. “You weren’t there.”

“Right. And how do you know you had sex with him, Holly? Because after a few drinks you can never remember a thing. That night with me and Adam—he told me that nothing happened between you. That you were a drunken mess and you were all over him like a rash. You went to bed together and fooled around, sure. But for some reason he didn’t want to get raped by a crazy woman. He said you weren’t in your right mind and you told him you loved him but you kept going on about Nick. Adam just came round that night to get something he said he’d left in your room.”
 

Ha! A webcam, by any chance?

“Yeah, and he jumped into bed with you?”

“So what, Holly? What’s the big deal? We were two consenting adults having sex. It’s not a crime. It meant nothing to me, and I don’t suppose it meant anything to him either. Because I haven’t seen him since. He didn’t cheat on you, neither of us did. You’re just looking for someone to blame.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry, Tara. I was. But he was lying to you to get you into bed. I did shag him. He set me up. But it was my own fault for getting so out of it in the first place.”
 

Tara rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. You know it doesn’t take much to get me into bed, he didn’t have to lie. Anyway, set you up how?”

“Like, sex tape, that’s how.”

Tara threw her head back and shrieked. “Holy fuuuuuuck, are you kidding me? What the fuck is going on, Holly?”

So I told her about Nick and all our troubles, and the pregnancy test, and Don, and the photos, and the USB stick he’d handed me tonight. There was enough footage of me pole dancing naked around the end of the bed, followed by Adam writhing on top of me, to leave me in no doubt of what happened next.
 

When I’d finished, Tara said, “Right, so you haven’t seen all of the tape? So where is it?”

“I need to get it off Gribben.”

“Okay, and what about Nick, do you still love him?”

“Of course I do, Tara, more than anything. But it’s impossible. If Nick sees the tape he’ll be devastated. And if it gets out at work … it’s too awful to think about. Honestly, I’d rather leave town and never have to face him again.”

“Well don’t you think that’s unfair? He’s a big boy, Holly, stop treating him with cotton wool. You can’t make people’s decisions for them. Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth, about Adam, about the baby, everything?”

“I’m trying to protect him, Tara!”

“Well, you’re not,” said Tara. “You’re a bloody disgrace. Promise me you’ll tell him.”

“It’s too late now,” I sighed.
 

 
“It’s never too late. Now get some beauty sleep, darling, cos you sure as hell need it. I’ve gotta go out now, so call me soon, okay? Bye honey.”
 

Tara signed out with an air kiss, and the screen went black.

CHAPTER NINE

At work, there wasn’t much to pack up. My cardboard box was only half full. I’d requested a meeting with my Head of Department later on, when I would hand in my letter of resignation.
 

I was booked on the red-eye flight for London that night, and I’d calculated having to leave Manhattan for JFK at 5PM. I still had a few things to do, plus it was safer to escape the confines of Cathwell’s for a few hours in case I happened to bump into Nick. The thought of seeing him again was too much to bear.

The USB stick was in my pocket, along with the directions to Don Gribben’s office that I’d printed out in the office. I would tell him in person that he had won, that I wouldn’t be around to bother his family any longer. I didn’t want a penny from him, or a job, or a reference, or whatever else he was offering. There was only one thing I would ask for, and that was the tape. I would beg the bastard if necessary.