Duality: Vol 2, Euphoria (A New Adult Paranormal Romance) (16 page)

“We just have one problem,” she said, looking down at the duffels.

“What’s that?”  I asked, hoping she wasn’t going to say she couldn’t sleep with me.

“We forgot to brush our teeth.”  She held up toothbrushes and toothpaste.

“Let’s just go together and do it at the same time, so if they hear it from the front hall they’ll just think it’s you.”

She slid off the bed with the stuff in her hands and joined me in the bathroom.  We brushed together, making goofy faces over our foamy mouths.

“I’b nebber brufft my teef wif a boy before,” she said, spitting goop all over the place.

“Me neever,” I said, choking and laughing on the minty paste I accidentally inhaled.

We were grinning our heads off by the time we got back to the room.  I don’t know about her, but I was mostly feeling goofy because of what I was hoping would happen next.  I’d never slept in the same room as a girl, and Rae was no ordinary girl, besides.  I could still remember how she felt against me, and I wanted more of that.  But I didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was scared and away from her parents for the first time.  That would be a total dick move, and I didn’t want to mess this up, whatever it was between us.

“You have to close your eyes while I change,” she said shyly.  “I can’t sleep in these clothes.”

I threw myself down onto the bed, dragging a pillow over to cover my eyes.  “Go ahead.  I’m blind now.”  I could picture what she was doing, though, and had to turn on my side to hide my excitement.  I was guessing my imagination was almost as good as what I’d see right now if I moved the pillow away.  It took all my strength to keep it there.

The bed jiggled and dipped down next to me, right before the pillow was yanked off my face.  “Your turn,” she said.

I looked up at her, my expression dead serious.  “I sleep naked.”

Her dimple disappeared and she instantly looked scared.

“Just kidding,” I said, standing with my back to her.  “I wear shorts.”  I dug around in the bag for the basketball shorts I’d seen earlier, stalling for time since I didn’t think exposing my excitement was going to help her not be nervous anymore.  She’d probably kick me out of the room if she saw it.

She giggled.

“What?” I asked, looking over my shoulder and pulling the ugly black shirt off, glad to be finally rid of it.  She was lying in the bed with the covers pulled up almost to her eyes.

“Nothing,” she said, giggling some more.

“Is it my manly man muscles?”  I flexed for her like a complete idiot.  The result was pitiful, making me wish I’d been doing pushups for the last ten years instead of sitting on the couch in front of the television.

She nodded, saying nothing.

“Yeah, I get that all the time.  Better close your eyes.  I’m about to go for the big reveal.”

She pulled the covers all the way up as I unzipped my jeans.   A piece of me was bummed she didn’t keep looking, but it was probably better that way.  All we needed to do to complicate this situation even more was add sex to the mix.  I wasn’t against it; all she’d need to do was say one word and I’d step up to the plate.  But she was probably smarter than that.  Smarter than me for sure.

I put the shorts on and quickly climbed under the covers, staying way over on my side so I was barely in the bed at all.  I didn’t want her to think I was going to jump her as soon as I had the opportunity, much as I might want to.  She wasn’t just some girl I was never going to see again or someone I might pass in a hallway at school someday.  She was the Rainbow creator to my Miserable maker, and she was the only one of her kind that I knew of.  A girl that special you don’t mess things up with.  She’d be the one calling the shots between us, not me.

She peeked out of the covers.  “Hi.”

“Hi,” I said, turning on my side, resting my arm on top of the covers.

She rolled over onto her side to face me, staying completely covered.  “Are you tired?”

“Yeah.  Are you?”  I
was
tired.  Really tired.  But if she wanted to stay up all night talking, I’d do it.  I could never get tired of hearing her voice or looking at her beautiful face.  Now that she’d lost that wig and terrible lipstick, she looked like the Rae I remembered.  My heart spasmed over the idea that we were together, running away and staying in an apartment together like a real couple.  What I wouldn’t give to make that come true.  The earlier fears I’d had about being together were melting away in the heat that was being generated between us right now.  All I’d have to do to touch her nearly naked body is reach out…

“Yeah.  But I’m not ready to go to sleep yet,” she said.

Her words made my pulse pick up the pace. 
Does she mean what I hope she means? 
“What do you want to do, then?” I asked, holding my breath as I waited for her answer.

She shrugged.  “I don’t know.”

I took a chance and scooted forward a little, closing the distance between us.  And then I waited, saying nothing.  We stared at each other for a few long seconds.

She fumbled around under the covers a little and then moved forward, getting close enough that I could feel the heat coming from her body.

Blood flowed to my lower regions making the front of my shorts strain towards her.

“What are we doing?” I whispered.  I didn’t want to misunderstand her and do something totally embarrassing.  It was taking everything I had to stay back and not touch her.

“Saying goodnight,” she whispered back.  Her gaze never left my face.

I felt like I was being hypnotized by her pretty face. 
Should I touch her?  Should I stay back?  What does she want?  What’s the right thing to do?

“Are you making me into a Rainbow?” I asked, kind of in a daze, options and desires swirling around me in a storm of desire.

She frowned. “No.  Do you really think I am?”

I closed my eyes and shook my head as best I could against the pillow.  “No.  I’m just … feeling stupid inside, and I want to blame it on something else.”

She reached her hand out from under the covers and pushed her finger into my face, right between my eyebrows.  “Stop frowning at me.”

I reached up and pulled her finger away from my face, placing it against my lips so I could kiss it.  “I’m sorry,” I said, lacing my fingers through hers.  Just that little bit of touching was sending a shockwave of thrills through my entire body.  “I shouldn’t have said that.  I know you’re not Rainbowing me.”  It was true, too.  I’d been suspicious of it before, but now I knew that was a cop-out.  Whatever was going on in my heart was happening without her doing anything except being cute and being Rae.  Not the yin or the yang or whatever part of the equation she is.  She might be able to do that crap to Kootch, but it wasn’t working on me.  This was the real deal.

Chapter Twenty-One: Rae

FROM THE MINUTE WE’D DECIDED to sleep in the same room, I’d been freaking out inside.  Not in a bad way, but in a are-we-going-to-mess-around way and in an I-hope-so way.  Maybe all the years I’d spent wishing I could kiss a boy had gotten so bottled up, they’d turned me into a sex fiend or something, but all I could think about was his lips on mine again.  It had been so nice at the party, and now that we were in relative safety, it was impossible to not focus on the memory and re-live it over and over.

I’d gotten bold and scooted over closer to Malcolm.  Now the only thing between us was about six inches of mattress and a bunch of fear.  I wasn’t afraid of what might happen, but I did worry about whether he was thinking the same thing as me.  What if I was the only one who wanted this between us?  How embarrassing would that be to throw myself at him and have him reject me, feel sorry for me that I’m such a misguided dork?

“Are you making me into a Rainbow?” he asked.

My heart collapsed in on itself painfully, my chest aching with it.  From happiness to despair in less than a second.  I’d thought we’d resolved this back at Jasmine’s house, but apparently he still believed that whatever he was feeling wasn’t real.  I guess I should be happy to know that at least he was feeling something, even if he didn’t trust its source.  Now all I had to do was convince him he wasn’t under my spell.

“No.  Do you really think I could do that or would do that to you?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head, his hair making swishy sounds on the pillowcase.  “No.  I’m just … feeling stupid inside, and I want to blame it on something else.”

The sense of relief that flooded through me was like a big wave crashing on the beach.  I went from really sad to happy almost as fast as I’d flipped the other direction.  But as relieved as I was in that moment, it was clear he was upset, riding the other end of the emotional spectrum as I was.

I reached over and pushed my finger into the wrinkles that had appeared on his forehead.  Whenever he was worried, two vertical lines formed between his eyebrows, and the more upset he was, the deeper they got.  “Stop frowning at me.”  I smiled a little so he’d know I wasn’t really mad about it.  I just wanted him to be happy and not so stressed.

He reached up and pulled my finger away from his face, kissing it gently with his soft lips.  “I’m sorry,” he said.

His fingers slid down and wrapped around mine.  They were big and thick making me feel like a small child.  Protected.  His thumb moved up and down, tickling my skin, the warmth from it spreading quickly to other parts of my body.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he confessed.  “I know you’re not Rainbowing me.”  He was staring at me so intensely, now I knew what it meant to actually feel someone’s gaze on me.  I’d always thought it was just poetic nonsense, but in this moment I knew it could be literal.  The weight of it was just right and very warm.

“I promise, I’m not,” I whispered, wanting so badly to be able to just lean forward the last few inches and kiss him on the mouth.  But I wasn’t bold enough.

“Rae, I have to tell you something,” he whispered back, looking worried again.

“What?” I asked.  “It must be bad because you look totally freaked out right now.”  I wanted to bonk myself on the head a split second after I said that. 
Way to go, Rae.  Totally romantic.  Ruin the moment why don’t you?

Confusion passed over his expression and then sheepishness.  “Sorry.  I’m not freaked out.  Well, maybe I am a little, but mainly it’s just because the hottest girl in school is almost naked in a big bed with me and just touching her hand is about to make me lose it.”

I grinned so hard I was surprised my cheeks didn’t touch my ears.  “Really?”

“Yeah.  Really.” He sighed heavily, lifting his voice barely above a whisper.  “Rae, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.  And I know I can be near you without hurting you.  It’s taking every ounce of control I have not to jump you right now.”  He rolled his eyes.  “God, I’m such an idiot.  Can you just forget I said that?”

“Why would I want to do that?”  I moved another inch towards him.

“Rae, don’t.  I’m serious.  If you get any closer, I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do.”

“Why do we have to be so responsible?” I asked.  The devilish grin I couldn’t contain caused him to smile back just as evilly.

“Because.  We don’t have condoms and … I don’t know.  You’re a nice girl, and we don’t even know each other.  I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

I squeezed his fingers and moved even closer, daring myself in my head to just go for it and say what was on my mind.  “We don’t have to do the thing that needs condoms exactly, and just because I’m a nice girl doesn’t mean I don’t want to jump your bones too.”

He swallowed hard, looking very nervous.  “Rae, are you sure you know what you’re saying?  It’s late.  You’re probably really tired.  I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

I froze, not sure if I was fully understanding what he was saying.   “Are you trying to tell me that you don’t really want to mess around?  If this is your let me down easy speech, please tell me now so I can avoid making a complete idiot of myself.” 
Pretty sure I’ve already done that
.

He let go of my hand and grabbed my waist, pulling me up against him.  I felt something hard there, pressing into me.

“Trust me, Rae.  I want to mess around.”  And then he leaned towards me, pushing his lips to mine.

Fireworks exploded in my head.  Warmth blossomed out from my heart, spreading through my chest, legs, and arms.  As his lips moved against mine and his tongue came out to join the dance, I thought about what this could mean, what this could be for us.  I’m a virgin, never able to get close enough to a boy to even entertain the idea of having sex.  Tonight I had Malcolm, but who knew what was going to happen tomorrow.  We might be separated and never see each other again.  With all the secret spy stuff going on, the chances that we’d both be in control of our lives at all was starting to look like an unknown.  Maybe tonight would be all we’d ever have.

“What’s happening to us, Rae?” Malcolm asked against my mouth.  He didn’t stop kissing me, he just paused.  And then he was back to licking my tongue, causing electric shocks to travel down to my lower parts, making me squirm with need.

“I don’t know.  But I don’t care about stopping.  I want to be with you.  I might not have you after tonight.”  I clung to him, partly out of fear that he’d move away and partly out of the craving I had for his touch.  I wanted to feel him everywhere.

“I don’t want to be split up,” he said, kissing my face and then my neck, making goosebumps come up all over my body.  My breasts were tingling, aching to be touched.  He must have read my mind because a second later his hand was there.

“Rae, I want to be with you more than just tonight.  I hope you know that.”  He stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes.  He seemed so earnest it made me want to cry.

“I’m really happy to hear that,” I said, sounding very wimpy.  “I didn’t want to feel like a stalker, chasing you all over the place.”